Page 19 of The Dude Wrangler


  CHAPTER XIX

  A SHOCK FOR MR. CANBY

  The morning following their arrival at The Lolabama, The Happy Family,looking several shades less happy, began coming from their tents shortlyafter daylight. By five o'clock they were all up and dressed, since,being accustomed to darkened rooms, they found themselves unable tosleep owing to the glare coming through the white canvas.

  Out of consideration for his guests, whom he remembered as late risers,Wallie had set the breakfast hour at eight-thirty. This seemed aneternity to The Happy Family who, already famished, consulted theirwatches with increasing frequency while they watched the door of thebunk-house like cats at a mouse-hole for the cook to make hisappearance.

  After a restless night due to strange beds and surroundings, stillfatigued with their long journey, their muscles stiff from the"churning" in the stagecoach, they were not better natured for beingferociously hungry.

  After wandering around to look listlessly at the ponies, and at thesalt-water plunge that was to rejuvenate them, they sat down on the edgeof the platforms in front of their tents to endure somehow the threehours which must pass before breakfast.

  The dawn was sweet-scented, the song of the meadow-lark celestial, andthe colours of the coming day reflected on the snow-covered peaks asight to be remembered, but the guests had no eyes or ears or nose forany of the charms of the early morning. The rising of the sun wasnothing as compared to the rising of the cook who would appease theirsavage hunger.

  Conversation was reduced to monosyllables as, miserable and apathetic,they sat thinking of the food they had sent back to Mr. Cone's kitchenwith caustic comments, of the various dishes for which the chef of TheColonial was celebrated.

  Mr. Stott thought that his watch must be slow until it was found thatevery other watch agreed with his exactly. He declared that when thecook did appear he meant to urge him to hurry breakfast.

  The cook came out, finally, at seven-thirty, and, after a surprisedglance at the row on the platforms, strode into the kitchen where herattled the range as if it were his purpose to wreck it.

  When the smoke rose from the chimney Mr. Stott went to the door to carryout his intention of asking the cook to speed up breakfast.

  A large sign greeted him:

  DUDES KEEP OUT

  The cook was a gaunt, long-legged person with a saturnine countenance.He wore a seersucker coat with a nickel badge pinned on the lapel ofit.

  As an opening wedge Mr. Stott smiled engagingly and pointed to it:

  "For exceptional gallantry, I presume--a war medal?"

  The hero stopped long enough to offer it for Mr. Stott's closerinspection.

  It read:

  UNITED ORDER OF PASTRY COOKS OF THE WORLD

  Taken somewhat aback, Mr. Stott said feebly:

  "Very nice, indeed--er----"

  "Mr. Hicks, at your service!" the cook supplemented, bowing formally.

  "Hicks," Mr. Stott added.

  "Just take a second longer and say 'Mister.'"

  The cook eyed him in such a fashion as he administered the reprimand forhis familiarity that Mr. Stott backed off without mentioning hisstarving condition.

  "What did he say?" they asked, eagerly, as he sat down on his platform,somewhat crestfallen.

  "He seems a temperamental person," Mr. Stott replied, evasively. "But weshall have breakfast in due season."

  It was suspected that Mr. Stott had failed in his mission, and they weresure of it as the hands dragged around to eight-thirty.

  At that hour precisely Mr. Hicks came out and hammered on a triangle asvigorously as if it were necessary. In spite of their efforts to appearunconcerned when it jangled, the haste of the guests was nothing lessthan indecent as they hurried to the dining room and scrambled for seatsat the table.

  The promise of food raised their spirits a trifle and Mr. Appel was ableto say humorously as, with his table knife, he scalped his agate-wareplate loose from the oil-cloth:

  "I suppose we shall soon learn the customs of the country. In a month weshould all be fairly well ac'climated."

  "Acclim'ated," Mr. Stott corrected.

  "Ac'climated," Mr. Appel maintained, obstinately. "At least with yourkind permission I shall continue to so pronounce it."

  "I beg your pardon," Mr. Stott apologized with elaborate sarcasm, "butwhen I am wrong I like to be told of it." Which was not the strict truthfor the reason that no one ever was able to convince him that he everwas mistaken. As a result of the discussion everyone was afraid to usethe word for fear of offending one or the other.

  The silence that followed while breakfast was being placed upon thetable was broken by Miss Eyester, who said timidly:

  "In the night I thought I heard something sniffing, and it frightenedme."

  Not to be outdone in sensational experiences, Mrs. Stott averredpositively:

  "There was some _wild animal_ running over our tent. I could hear itssharp claws sticking into the canvas. A coyote, I fancy."

  "A ground-squirrel, more likely," remarked Mr. Appel.

  Mr. Stott smiled at him:

  "Squee-rrel, if you will allow me to again correct you."

  "I guess I can't help myself," replied Mr. Appel, drily.

  Mr. Stott shrugged a shoulder and his tolerant look said plainly that,after all, one should not expect too much of a man who had begun life asa "breaker-boy."

  "The squee-rrel or coyote or whatever it was," Mrs. Stott continued,"went pitter-patter, pitter-patter--so!" She illustrated with herfinger-tips on the oil-cloth.

  "Prob'ly a chipmunk," said Pinkey, prosaically.

  "Are they dangerous, Mr. Fripp?" inquired Miss Gaskett.

  "Not unless cornered or wounded," he replied, gravely.

  This was a joke, obviously, so everybody laughed, which stimulatedPinkey to further effort. When Mr. Hicks poured his cup so full that thecoffee ran over he remarked facetiously:

  "It won't stack, cookie."

  Coffee-pot in hand, Mr. Hicks drew himself up majestically and his eyeswithered Pinkey.

  "I beg to be excused from such familiarity, and if you wish our pleasantrelations to continue you will not repeat it."

  "I bet I won't josh _him_ again," Pinkey said, ruefully, when Mr. Hicksreturned to the kitchen in the manner of offended royalty.

  "Cooks are sometimes very peculiar," observed Mr. Stott, buttering hispancakes lavishly. "I remember that my mother--my mother, by the way,Mr. Penrose, was a Sproat----"

  "Shoat?" Old Mr. Penrose, who complained of a pounding in his ears, wasnot hearing so well in the high altitude.

  Mr. Appel and Pinkey tittered, which nettled Mr. Stott and he shouted:

  "Sproat! An old Philadelphia family."

  "Oh, yes," Mr. Penrose recollected. "I recall Amanda Sproat--she marrieda stevedore. Your sister?"

  Mr. Stott chose to ignore the inquiry, and said coldly:

  "My father was in public life." He might have added that his father wasa policeman, and therefore his statement was no exaggeration.

  Everybody felt that it served Mr. Penrose right for telling about thestevedore when he was seized with a violent fit of coughing immediatelyafterward. Wiping his streaming eyes, he looked from Wallie to Pinkeyand declared resentfully:

  "This is the result of your reckless driving. The cork came out of mycough syrup in the suitcase. The only way I can get relief from theirritation is to apply my tongue to the puddle. I shall have to lick myvalise until I can have the prescription refilled in Prouty."

  The culprits mumbled that they "were sorry," to which Mr. Penrosereplied disagreeably that that did not keep him from "coughing his headoff!"

  Looking sympathetically at Pinkey, Miss Eyester, for the purpose ofdiverting the irascible old gentleman's attention from the subject,asked when she might take her first riding lesson.

  Pinkey said promptly: "This mornin'--they's nothin' to hinder."

  "That's awfully good of you, Mr. Fripp," she said, gratefully.

  Pinke
y, who always jumped when any one called him "Mister," repliedbluntly:

  "Tain't--I wantta."

  "We'll all go!" Mrs. Stott cried, excitedly.

  "Shore." There was less enthusiasm in the answer.

  "We were so fortunate as to be able to purchase our equipment for ridingbroncos before coming out here," explained Mr. Budlong. "There is anexcellent store on the Boardwalk and we found another in Omaha."

  "We have divided skirts and everything! Just wait till you see us!"cried Mrs. Budlong. "And you'll take our pictures, won't you, Mr.Penrose?"

  "I don't mind wasting a couple of films," he consented.

  Between the pancakes and the prospective riding lesson the atmospherecleared and everyone's spirits rose so that the slightly strainedrelations were again normal by the time they got up from the table.

  They were as eager as children as they opened their trunks for theircostumes, and even Aunt Lizzie Philbrick, who had once ridden a burro inOld Mexico, declared her intention of trying it.

  While the "dudes" dressed, Pinkey and Wallie went down to the corral tosaddle for them.

  "We better let her ride the pinto," said Pinkey, casually.

  "'Her?'" Wallie looked at his partner fixedly. "Which 'her'?"

  "That lady that's so thin she could hide behind a match and have roomleft to peek around the corner. She seems sickly, and the pinto iseasy-gaited," Pinkey explained, elaborately.

  "All right," Wallie nodded, "and we'll put Aunt Lizzie on the white oneand give Mrs. Budlong----"

  "Kindly assign me a spirited mount," interrupted Mr. Stott, who, as tocostume, was a compromise between an English groom and a fox-hunter.

  Wallie looked dubious.

  "Oh, I understand horses," declared Mr. Stott, "I used to ride like anIndian."

  "The buckskin?" Wallie asked doubtfully of Pinkey.

  Pinkey hesitated.

  "You need not be afraid that he will injure me. I can handle him."

  Wallie, who never had heard of Mr. Stott's horsemanship, consentedreluctantly.

  "I prefer to saddle and bridle myself, also," said Mr. Stott, when thebuckskin was pointed out to him.

  Wallie's misgivings returned to him and Pinkey rolled his eyeseloquently when they saw "the man who understood horses" trying tobridle with the chin-strap and noted that he had saddled without ablanket.

  Mr. Stott laughed inconsequently when the mistake was pointed out to himand declared that it was an oversight merely.

  "Now, if you will get me something to stand on I am ready to mount."

  Once more Pinkey and Wallie exchanged significant glances as the man"who used to ride like an Indian" climbed into the saddle like someonegetting into an upper berth in a Pullman.

  Mr. Stott was sitting with the fine, easy grace of a clothespin when therest of the party came down the path ready for their riding lesson.

  Neither Pinkey nor Wallie was easily startled, but when they saw theirguests the most their astonishment permitted was an inarticulate gurgle.Dismay also was among their emotions as they thought of conducting theparty through Prouty and the Yellowstone. Wallie had his share of moralcourage, but when they first met his vision he doubted if he was strongenough for the ordeal.

  Mrs. Budlong, whose phlegmatic exterior concealed a highly romanticnature and an active imagination, was dressed to resemble a cow-girl ofthe movies as nearly as her height and width permitted. Her Stetson,knotted kerchief, fringed gauntlets, quirt, spurs to delight a Mexican,and swagger--which had the effect of a barge rocking at anchor--sofascinated Pinkey that he could not keep his eyes from her.

  Old Mr. Penrose in a buckskin shirt ornate with dyed porcupine quills,and a forty-five Colt slung in a holster, looked like the next to thelast of the Great Scouts, while Mr. Budlong, in a beaded vest that wouldhave turned bullets, was happy though uncomfortable.

  Mr. Budlong was dressed like a stage bandit, except that he woremoccasins in spite of Pinkey's warning that he would find it misery toride in them unless he was accustomed to wearing them.

  Simultaneous with Miss Gaskett's appearance in plaid bloomers asaddle-horse lay back and broke his bridle-reins, for which Pinkey hadnot the heart to punish him in the circumstances.

  Aunt Lizzie wore long, voluminous, divided skirts and a little white hatlike a pate-tin, while by contrast Mrs. Harry Stott looked very smartand ultra in a tailored coat and riding breeches.

  This was the party that started up Skull Creek under Pinkey's guidance,and the amazing aggregation that greeted the choleric eye of Mr. Canbyon one of the solitary rides which were his greatest diversion. He hadjust returned from the East and had not yet learned of the use to whichWallie had put his check. But now he recalled Wallie's parting speech toPinkey when he had started to get the paper cashed, and this fantasticcompany was the result!

  As Canby drew in his horse, he stared in stony-eyed unfriendlinesswhile they waved at him gaily and Mr. Stott called out that they weregoing to be neighbourly and visit him soon.

  The feeling of helpless wrath in which he now looked after the party wasa sensation that he had experienced only a few times in his life. Pinkeyhad warned him that at the first openly hostile act he would "blab" thestory of the Skull Creek episode far and wide. He had hit Canby in hismost vulnerable spot, for ridicule was something which he found itimpossible to endure, and he could well appreciate the glee with whichhis many enemies would listen to the tale, taking good care that itnever died.

  By all the rules of the game as he had played it often, and always withsuccess, Wallie should long since have "faded"--scared, starved out.Yet, somehow, in some unique and extraordinary way that only a "dude"would think of, he had managed to come out on top.

  But the real basis for Canby's grievance, and one which he would notadmit even to himself, was that however Wallie was criticized, HeleneSpenceley never failed to find something to say in his defence.

  There was not much that Canby could do in the present circumstances toput difficulties in Wallie's way, but the next day he found itconvenient to turn a trainload of long-horn Texas cattle loose on theadjacent range, and posted warnings to the effect that they weredangerous to pedestrians, and persons going among them on foot did so attheir own risk.