“Really?” I asked, feeling even guiltier. I didn’t want Mrs. Walter to be mad at me for getting her son a better gift then she could afford.
Alex nodded his head. “Flying to New York is going to be so fun.”
I finally giggled. “What’s so fun about flying?”
“I don’t know,” Alex said, grinning at me. “I always thought it would be fun.”
My smile dropped. “You’ve never been on a plane before?”
“Nope.”
“Don’t you guys ever go on vacation?” I asked.
“Yeah, we go camping all the time. Oh, and last year my parents saved up enough money to go to Florida for their twenty-first anniversary, but they drove down.”
At the moment, I felt unbelievably spoiled. Back home in New York, when it got really cold, my mother would take me to Miami for the weekend to soak up some sun. I never even considered Florida a vacation.
“Why? Where did your family go on vacation?” Alex asked me.
For a second I didn’t say anything. I didn’t want to tell Alex that I had been all over Europe, South America, and even China.
“Oh, you know, just around,” I said, shrugging my shoulders.
“Oh, come on. Tell me,” Alex said and elbowed me in the side. When I didn’t answer, he frowned. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
“I guess I just feel awkward. I didn’t know this was going to be such a big deal. Everyone seemed kind of jealous.” And I don’t know how to act around you anymore, I wanted to add, but I kept my mouth shut.
“Jackie,” Alex responded, staring at me seriously, “what you did for Danny was thoughtful, and sure, some people are probably jealous, but that’s not a bad thing.”
“You sure?” I asked, looking up at him.
“Yup,” he said. “It also means that I expect something cool for Christmas.”
I laughed. “And what would that be?”
“Just a Darth Vader helmet, dual signature edition.”
“What’s that?”
“Nerd shit,” he said with a laugh. “And only one of the most expensive pieces of Star Wars memorabilia in the world.”
“Well, it sounds like you’ll have to be awfully nice to me.”
“How about I start by taking you somewhere fun tonight?”
My heart almost burst from my chest. He didn’t mean like on a date, did he? “Where?” I finally asked him, not bothering to meet his eyes. Instead, I concentrated on my anatomy notebook, flipping to a blank page and writing the date in the right-hand corner.
He paused at this. “I know someone who’s having a party tonight,” Alex said, trying to sound casual. “We should go together.” When he saw the hesitation on my face, he added, “You know, as friends.”
I thought that hearing those last few words would help me relax around him, but when my stomach dipped, I realized that maybe that wasn’t what I wanted after all. What if I just needed to give Alex a chance?
I was about to say yes, that I would go with him, but there was something about the way he was avoiding my gaze that made me suspicious. “Whose party is it?” I said instead.
“Mary’s,” he said in a rush. “But I thought that if you told me what she said, we could work everything out.”
I shook my head. “Sorry, Alex, but no.” Maybe I needed to stop thinking of all the bad things that would happen if there was something more between Alex and me, maybe I needed to give him a chance, but I wouldn’t do it at her party. Not after what she’d said, how she’d hurt me. There was nothing Alex could do to get me to go.
“Please, Jackie? I don’t get why you’re making such a big deal out of this.”
“If I tell you what she said, will you drop the subject?” I snapped.
“Of course,” he said eagerly.
“She shoved my family’s death in my face.”
“What? Why would she do that?”
“To hurt me,” I said, “because I’m friends with you.”
Chapter 12
After school, Katherine had a meal waiting for us. We all sat down and ate together, no snakes included.
“Someone want to get me some more milk?” Isaac asked, holding up an empty cup.
George raised an eyebrow. “What happened to your legs? No one here is your butler.”
“Jackie?” Benny asked me then. “Did you have butters to serve your food at dinnertime?”
Isaac, who was trying to chug from Cole’s glass before he noticed, spit milk all over the table in laughter.
“No, Benny,” I said. “We did not have any butlers.”
“Hey!” Cole complained, noticing his empty glass in Isaac’s hand. “That was my milk!”
“And this was your roll too,” Isaac said, shoving half of it in his mouth. “Mmmm, tasty.”
When everyone was done eating and the table cleared, I headed up to my room to do homework. It was going to be a very boring night since most of the guys were going to Mary’s party, but maybe later I could watch a movie with Jack and Jordan.
It was loud in the hallway as everyone got ready, and the smell of Axe seeped under my door. Finally all the commotion traveled downstairs, and I went to the window to watch everyone pile into the truck and pull away. Sighing, I collapsed on my bed, ignoring the calculus notebook that was open on my desk. Even though this was my choice, a tiny part of me felt left out. I wished I could spend the night hanging out with Alex and Nathan.
Not long after the thought crossed my mind, my bedroom door slammed open.
“Up!” Cole demanded, strolling into my room.
“Huh?” What was he still doing here? Hadn’t he left with his siblings?
“We don’t have all night.” He yanked me out of my bed and dragged me over to the closet. Throwing it open, he started riffling through my clothes. “No. No. No,” he said, pushing aside each hanger as he went. “Don’t you have anything hot?”
“What about this?” I asked, pointing to one of my favorite dresses.
“Do you want to look like a couch?” he said, and flipped past it. The dress slipped off its hanger and crumpled to the floor.
“That’s a Chanel piece!” I gasped, scooping it up.
“We have a winner,” he said, ignoring me. “Here, put this on.”
The air froze in my lungs when I saw what he was holding—a black minidress with a silver buckle at the waist. It wasn’t mine. Somehow, one of my sister’s clubbing outfits must have ended up in my clothing.
“Hello? Earth to Jackie?” Cole said, waving the outfit in my face.
“I can’t wear that,” I told him, my voice tight. “It’s not mine.”
“Well, I’m pretty sure it’s not Isaac’s or Danny’s, so it must be yours.”
“It was my sister’s,” I told him. “I don’t know how it ended up inside one of my moving boxes.”
“Oh,” Cole said, dropping his arm. “I supposed you can just go in what you’re wearing.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, even though I already knew what his answer would be.
“The party,” he responded, his voice edged with amusement. “You’re coming with me.”
And that’s all it took. There was that feeling again—the one that made me bold just because Cole was standing next to me. It was so overwhelming, irresistible even, that in a daze, I let him guide me out of my room and down to the car.
***
When Nick’s car pulled onto Mary Black’s cul-de-sac, I realized I had gotten myself into another situation. I couldn’t go in—the last time I’d let go and taken a risk, it had ended badly. The music from the party was so loud that I could feel it even though the doors were closed. I crossed my arms, refusing to take off my seat belt as Cole popped a piece of gum into his mouth.
“Do I need to carry you inside?” he asked. “Because I s
wear I will.”
Instead of answering, I stared out the windshield with no intention of moving. I was prepared to sit in the car all night if I had to. Not only was it Mary’s house, but I didn’t want Alex to think I’d turned him down just to show up with his brother.
Cole sighed and yanked the handle and stepped outside. I risked a quick glance at him and saw the breeze ruffle his light hair. When he moved to the front of the car, I smiled, thinking that he had given up. But he was just stopping to say something to Nick. They shook hands, which transitioned into a man hug, a semi-embrace that lasted for a split second and ended with a firm pat on the back. The smile slipped off my face when Cole jogged around the side of the car and opened my door.
“Out now,” he said with a serious face.
“Cole!” I said, hearing the whine in my voice. “I told Alex I wasn’t coming. He’s going to be upset if I show up now.”
“And that’s my problem?” he asked, reaching over to undo my seat belt. “Just tell him you changed your mind.”
How was I supposed to tell him about what Mary said to me? I felt the words perched on my tongue, but I paused too long and lost my nerve. “Seriously,” I said instead, “it’s not funny.”
Cole didn’t respond. Instead he grabbed me by the waist, pulled me from the car, and threw me over his shoulder.
“Put me down!” I screamed as he kicked the door shut with his foot.
A few people who were standing on the porch looked up at us. He was laughing now, and I pounded on his back with my fist as he made his way toward the house.
“Cole Walter, I will make sure you die a painful death if you don’t let me go this instant,” I demanded.
We received more strange looks as he trudged up the steps. “Sorry,” Cole apologized to the people standing by the door, beers in hand. “I have a runaway date on my hands.”
“I am not your date!” I hissed at him.
But Cole was already stepping inside, tuning out my every protest. Once he closed the door behind him, he finally put me down.
“See?” he said, shouting over the music and patting me on the head. “That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“Are you kidding me—” I began, but someone cut me off.
“Jackie?” I turned in time to see Alex emerging from the throng of people. “I thought you weren’t coming.”
“I wasn’t, but your annoying brother—”
“Invited her to the party,” Cole said, cutting me off. He wrapped his arm around my waist and smirked at his little brother.
“What are you doing?” I hissed, and tried to push him off me. “Get off.” But Cole’s grip was strong, his fingers digging into my side.
“You came with him?” Alex said, his jaw clenched.
“Alex, it wasn’t like that,” I tried to say. But there was a tight, anxious knot in my stomach and I had a feeling that it was too late.
“Really, Jackie,” Cole said, bending down to press his lips to my forehead. “You don’t have to lie about us. Alex understands. Right, little bro?”
And in that moment, the damage was done. Alex stood there staring at us, and I could sense the tension moving off him in waves. His dark eyes were accusing, and I felt myself bristle.
“How about I go get us a beer?” Cole said. His mouth curled into an almost smile, but there was no warmth behind it. “Be right back, okay?”
He removed his arm from around me, and it was as if he’d extracted my spine, stealing every ounce of energy I had along with it. My knees buckled, but then my hand shot out and I braced myself against the wall. Had Cole ruined everything I had with Alex—whatever that was, friendship or something more—in a matter of minutes? Could he really win that easily?
“Alex,” I began. There was no way I would let Cole get away with this. “You have to listen to me. He dragged me here. I didn’t want to come.”
Nostrils flaring, Alex gave a derisive snort. “You really think I’m going to believe that crap lie? If you’re going to sneak around with Cole, at least have the decency to tell me the truth.”
“I am telling you the truth,” I said, trying to disregard the dread that was seeping into my veins, making my heart beat faster by the minute.
“You know, I believed you the first time,” Alex said, his light hair falling into his eyes. I knew he was referring to when I had come home with Cole absolutely drunk. “How does it go—fool me once?”
Attempting to marshal my tumbling thoughts, I took a step toward him. “Please,” I started to say, but the rest of the words faded in my throat because Alex was already merging back into the crowd. I stared unseeingly after him, my eyes glazing over.
“What is she doing here?” I heard someone say.
I came back to myself with a start and saw Mary standing at the bottom of the staircase, a cocktail in her hand. Her hair was piled up in a bun, giving her the appearance of having a golden halo. The pink skirt that she was wearing was just long enough, and the heels on her feet made her legs a mile long. It looked as if she had been having a private girl session in her room, because there was a flock of friends behind her on the steps. Each of their faces was set in a sneer as they glared in my direction.
By now, lots of people were watching me, some already whispering. Desperate, I glanced around the room hoping to see someone I knew—Nathan or maybe Riley, even Isaac would do—but all I saw were strangers.
“I said, what are you doing in my house? You weren’t invited.” Turning back around, Mary was standing in front of me with a hand perched dangerously on her hip in outrage.
“I–I…” I tried to say something, but nothing else came out.
The entire room was staring at me, and my throat got tight as I saw people turn and start to whisper to one another. My vision was starting to tunnel, and I could hear my blood rushing in my ears. Panic gripped me, and I swung around on my heels and flew out the door before Mary could say anything more.
Once outside, I pushed past the people on the porch and started running. The cold night air burned my throat and soon I was gasping for air. For some reason, the oxygen wouldn’t fill my lungs, but I kept pushing. I didn’t know where I was going, but anywhere was better than this place that seemed to suffocate me.
When I reached the end of the neighborhood, I spotted the welcome sign: West Walnut Hills Welcomes You to Evansdale, Colorado! There I let up, gripping my knees as I caught my breath. Tears streamed down my face in hot tracks, and I could feel my arms shaking.
“Argh!” Rage pulsing through me, I swung my foot at a pebble on the road. It hopped across the pavement as a strong breeze started to whip around angrily, sensing my pain. “I hate it here!” I screamed. “Why can’t I just go home?”
Only the wind answered me.
Nathan was probably the only Walter boy who didn’t hate me.
When he woke me up the next morning for our run, I was completely caught off guard. After what had happened the night before, I expected everyone to ignore me, so I planned on staying in bed all day. I was going to tell Katherine that I didn’t feel well. She had picked me up from the party last night when I called her nearly in tears, and even though she repeatedly asked me what was wrong on the drive home, I refused to tell her.
“What are you doing in here?” I grumbled at Nathan, pulling the covers back over my head. “Didn’t you hear what happened last night?”
“Naturally,” he said, yanking them off again. He was dressed in his workout clothes—athletic shorts and a cutoff tee—and was bouncing on his heels, ready to go.
“Why aren’t you pissed at me?”
“I’m not an idiot, Jackie,” he said, his voice edged with amusement. “I know both of my brothers well enough to have put two and two together when I heard the stories. You did absolutely nothing wrong.”
Wrapping my arms around my chest, I hugged myself
and refused to look at him. “How am I going to fix this?” I asked.
“Well, you can start by getting out of bed and going for a run,” he told me.
It was nice to know that at least there was one person on my side. However, I wasn’t in the mood and I let him go without me.
How was I going to survive living here now? It was hard enough in the beginning when I first arrived, but now? The school year was almost over, and I would be stuck on this stupid, isolated farm with a bunch of guys who wouldn’t even talk to me for the whole summer.
I glanced at the clock. By now there should have been some movement down the hall as people woke up, but the house was eerily silent. Groaning, I kicked off my remaining sheets and quietly put my feet on the floor. I didn’t want to make any noise. Wincing as the floorboards groaned, I crept to my door and peered outside. Every door down the hall was shut. Strange, I thought, stepping back inside.
When she tucked me in last night, Katherine had opened my window so the room wouldn’t get stuffy. It was how I heard the shouting down below. It came out of nowhere, an alarming call that broke the silence of the morning. I ran over to the window to see what was going on and saw Cole emerging from the fields carrying a bundle of something in his arms. He was dressed in work clothes and I knew that he was doing his morning chores.
“Isaac, help!” Cole shouted. It was then that I noticed Isaac standing on the back deck in his boxers, trying to sneak a morning smoke in. “Nathan’s in trouble!”
Hearing Nathan’s name, I squinted at Cole to see better, and the air froze in my lungs. In his arms was Nathan’s limp form.
“Aunt Katherine!” I heard Isaac call inside, his voice filled with panic. “Something’s wrong with Nate. I think we need to call an ambulance!”
I was moving then without having to think. I threw on a pair of pants and a shirt before racing out of my room. Down in the kitchen, Isaac was helping Cole get Nathan through the back door. The wait was nerve-racking, and by the time the white van sped up the driveway, sirens wailing and lights flashing, mostly everyone was down in the kitchen.