When I set the lunch tray down on the table, the look of loathing on Erin’s face nearly made me leave. Cole, however, patted the now empty space next to him. “What are you waiting for?” he asked, the warmth returning to his face with a beam. Swallowing my nerves, I forced myself to sit down.
Chapter 4
The rest of the day passed in a whirlwind of new classes and unfamiliar faces. It was actually a relief to see the Walters’ rickety house when the truck pulled into the driveway after school.
“We’re home, Aunt Kathy!” Lee shouted as soon as he walked through the door. “What’s for dinner?”
Danny, Lee, and I had to step over a pile of boxes in the front hall. We were the only ones who actually left school at three o’clock. Alex had baseball practice; Cole caught a bus to his job at a local auto-repair shop; Nathan stayed in the music room; and Isaac never showed, which apparently was normal because we left after only a five-minute wait. I planned to join a few after-school clubs, but I decided it could wait until next week when, hopefully, I didn’t feel so weary.
“Hello to you too,” I heard Katherine call from the kitchen. The smell of something amazing was drifting down the hall. We found her standing at the counter cutting open a huge pile of buns.
“Hell, yeah,” Lee said when he lifted the top of the slow cooker. “I love me some sloppy joe.”
“What’s sloppy joe?” Whatever it was, it sounded disgusting.
Katherine, Lee, and Danny all stared at me like I was speaking an alien language.
“You’re never had a sloppy joe before? What kind of crazy planet are you from?” Lee asked.
“Lee, be nice,” Katherine scolded, pointing the serrated knife she was using to cut buns in Lee’s direction. “A sloppy joe is a ground-beef sandwich,” she explained to me. “We’re having them for dinner and you can try one then. The rest of your things arrived today, so in the meantime, why don’t you work on moving into your room? I cleared out all of the art supplies, and Danny can help you bring the boxes up and unpack.”
“Why can’t Lee help?” Danny asked.
“Because he’s going to help Parker with her math homework.”
“I am?”
“Would you rather carry boxes up to Jackie’s room?”
“Right. Two plus two. I’m all over that shit,” Lee said and left the kitchen before Katherine could change her mind.
“All right, you two,” Katherine said, picking up another bun. “Why don’t you get started? I want those boxes out of the front hall by the time everyone else gets home.”
Twenty minutes of tense silence passed as we moved my things to my room. While we worked, we hurried by each other on the stairs, trying to avoid bumping into one another or making awkward eye contact. Finally, I collapsed on my bed feeling sore and sweaty as Danny set the last box on the floor.
“Thanks a bunch for your help. This would have taken forever without you.”
Danny nodded his head and quickly turned to leave without a word, but my room was now a maze of cardboard towers. His foot connected with one of the piles, and the box teetering on the top crashed to the floor. My Shakespeare collection spilled out, and Danny dropped down to pick it up.
“Sorry,” he mumbled and scooped the books back into the box.
“Don’t worry about it,” I said, jumping off my bed. “I can take care of it.” I spotted A Midsummer Night’s Dream and wanted to grab it for Alex. By knocking over the books, Danny actually did me a favor because I wouldn’t have to search through all the boxes to find them. I plucked the play off the floor, and Danny stopped to examine what was in his hands.
“Romeo and Juliet?” he asked, reading out the title. The rise in his voice revealed his surprise. “You like drama?”
“Of course, I’m a New Yorker! I’ve been attending all types of different performances since I was little. I have a personal soft spot for Shakespeare, but I also admire Shaw and Miller’s work.” When I responded, Danny clamped his mouth shut as if he just realized that he had spoken to me.
“Oh, cool.” He shoved one last book back into the box and shot to his feet. “I’ll see you later.” He was out the door before I could mutter a good-bye.
Running my hand over the cover of my favorite play, I grinned to myself. My encounter with Danny could have gone a little better, but at least now I knew we shared a similar interest. Maybe I would make more friends in the Walter house than I had originally thought. Apparently I just needed to tackle the boys one at time.
***
At dinner I tried my first sloppy joe ever, and I immediately understood the reason behind the name. It was impossible to keep the meat on the bun. It oozed out every time I took a bite and splattered against my plate. My fingers and face were disgusting by the time I finished. I thought it made more sense to put the slop in a bowl and dip the bun in, but the Walters seemed to enjoy diving in face-first.
When everyone was full, we all had to help clean up the table, but afterward we were allowed to do whatever we wanted. Parker and the little twins rushed to the living room and battled over the remote. Jack and Jordan went to edit the footage they got of me eating my first sloppy joe. Isaac challenged Alex to a pickup game of hoops, while Lee and Nathan disappeared into their rooms. The freedom felt strange. At boarding school I was used to a strict schedule of dinnertime, homework, and lights out at nine.
Trying to keep some normalcy in my life, I climbed the stairs toward my room to do schoolwork. Although I wasn’t assigned anything in particular, I knew I was behind in English. The class was already halfway through reading Moby Dick, which was thicker than any of the textbooks I’d received throughout the day. Five pages in, I shut the book in irritation and pulled out Alex’s copy of The Fellowship of the Ring.
Someone knocked on the door.
“Jackie?” Cole asked, poking his head inside. He hadn’t been at dinner, and judging by the Tony’s Auto Repair jumpsuit he was wearing with his name stitched onto the breast, he’d just gotten back from work.
“Mmm-hmm?” I sat up in bed. Glancing at my clock, I realized that two hours had vanished since I started reading.
“Everyone’s out in the backyard. We’re going to play some night games. You want in?” He was wearing a baseball cap backward to hide the fact that his bangs were plastered to his forehead and there was a smear of grease across his nose, but somehow just one glance at him made my pulse surge.
“What’s a night game?” I asked, trying to keep my voice even.
“Games you play outside in the dark. You know, like kick the can, cops and robbers, ghost in the graveyard…” Cole trailed off as he waited for me to catch on.
“Sorry, but I’ve never heard of those.”
“What the heck did you do for fun when you were growing up?”
“I’ve been to my fair share of Broadway shows, and my family has memberships to most of the museums.” As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I realized my mistake. My family had memberships to most of the museums.
“Sounds awful,” Cole said. “How about we show you what real fun looks like?”
As nice as it was that Cole was inviting me to do something with the rest of the guys, I couldn’t bring myself to accept. The thought of hanging out with all the Walter boys was intimidating. Besides, thoughts of my family were now swirling around in my head, and I knew I would only be able to hold back the tears until Cole left. I didn’t want him to see me crying.
“I’ve got some catching up to do in most of my classes. Maybe another time?”
“Come on, Jackie. It’s not like your teachers expect you to know everything you’ve missed by tomorrow.”
Pulling my knees up to my chest, I blinked my eyes, trying to keep them from watering up and my feelings from spilling out. “Sorry, Cole, but it’s been a long first day.”
I thought he was going to conti
nue arguing, but he must have sensed that something was wrong. “Okay. In any case, you know where to find us if you change your mind.”
Cole shut the door. I sat unmoving, staring at the swirling blue of the ocean waves that Katherine had painted on the wall. It reminded me of my childhood summers—warm, sunny days spent at the beach house in the Hamptons, where Lucy and I would munch on fresh picnics spread out on our beach towels and suntan on the seashore, occasionally dipping our toes into the cold water to cool off.
I needed to hear a familiar voice, someone who could comfort me. Grabbing my cell phone off the desk, I dialed a number I knew by heart.
Sammy picked up on the first ring. “Hola, chica, what’s up?”
At the sound of my best friend’s voice, my lips started to tremble, and I could only manage a measly greeting without bursting into tears.
“Oh my God, Jackie. What’s wrong? Is Colorado, like, horrible or something?” she asked.
“Sammy, it’s worse than horrible. I’m on a ranch in the middle of nowhere. Katherine Walter has twelve kids, and I haven’t seen a Starbucks since leaving New York.”
“Holy cupcakes! That string bean of a woman pushed twelve people out her who-ha?”
I managed a half smile. “Only ten of the boys are hers. Two of them are nephews.”
Sammy gasped. “Did you just say boys plural, as in all twelve kids have a Y chromosome?”
“Parker’s a girl, but she doesn’t act like it.”
“That’s still pretty good odds, if you ask me. Any hotties?”
“Sammy,” I groaned. The Walters were the last thing I wanted to talk about.
“What? That’s a completely reasonable question. My best friend is completely isolated from civilization, so it’d be nice to know if she at least has some eye candy to cheer her up.”
There might be one or two drool-worthy guys. As soon as the thought crossed my mind, I felt the guilt twisting in my stomach. How could I be thinking about cute boys when my family was gone? “Can we please talk about something else?” I muttered into the phone.
“Talking about delicious boys is my version of therapy.”
“You’re not cheering me up.”
“That’s totally what I’m doing. Now spill! What’s his name?”
I paused, not sure if I should tell her. One little name won’t hurt, I decided. After all, it didn’t mean anything. A sigh escaped my lips. “It’s Cole.” His name came out in a whisper, as if I was giving away a secret.
“Hmm. I guess that’s hot. I mean it’s no Blake or Declan, but Cole has a nice ring to it. Okay, now give me details. What does he look like?”
I buried my face in my pillow. “This is not how I envisioned our conversation going.”
“You’re making the whole process difficult with all the stalling.”
“Fine,” I said quickly. “He’s tall, blond, and from the sound of things, a complete pig. Besides, I can’t even think about boys right now. I just want to come home, okay?”
“Oh, Jackie,” Sammy said, her voice soft. “I wasn’t trying to upset you. I just wanted to take your mind off the bad things.”
“I know,” I responded, feeling bad that I’d snapped. “It’s just, all my stuff arrived today, and I can’t bring myself to unpack it. It would make everything feel so permanent.”
“I totally feel you, sister. My new roommate moved in last night. It was so weird seeing someone else’s stuff on your side of the room. And don’t even get me started about French class. Like, I had to sit by myself.”
The cord around my heart tightened as I thought about my old school, old dorm room, and old classes. The move to Colorado had cut me off from my old life and everything that was familiar to me, and the only remaining link to that world was my best friend. “Sammy, you don’t know how good it is to hear your voice. I miss you so much. I wish—I wish…”
“Jackie,” Sammy said slowly and deliberately. “Everything is going to get better, okay? Just promise me you’ll make an effort to settle in. It will help. I know it.”
“Okay,” I told her even though I didn’t want to.
We stayed on the phone for the next hour. Talking to Sammy made me feel a little better, but as I curled up under the covers of my bed, a feeling of complete and utter loneliness kept me wide awake.
***
The next morning, getting up to run with Nathan was nothing short of torture. No matter how many times I rubbed my eyes, I couldn’t shake off the blanket of drowsiness that was draped over my entire body. Then I caught Olivia sneaking out of Cole’s room. It was such a shock, seeing her standing in the hallway with rumpled hair and wearing one of his shirts, that I was instantly snapped awake. We both stared at each other with the same deer-in-the-headlights look, and then Nathan stepped out of his room, making the situation even more awkward. Even worse, we all had to walk down the stairs together.
“So…” I said once Olivia’s car had pulled out the driveway. We were sitting on the front porch, stretching before our run. “Does Cole normally have friends stay over?”
Nathan pulled his ankle back behind him, focusing on his hamstring. “Occasionally, but not too often. I suppose he doesn’t want to get caught.”
“Why?”
“Because,” he said, looking at me as if I was acting stupid, “our dad would kill him.”
“I get that,” I said, pulling my hair back into a ponytail. “I mean, why is he such a—”
“A guy?”
I must have tugged my hair tie too tight, because it snapped and my bangs tumbled down into my face. “You know that’s not what I meant,” I said, sighing in frustration. “You’re a guy. I don’t see you sleeping around.”
“I guess he wasn’t always this way,” he said with a shrug. “But Cole’s never been one to share his feelings.”
“So what changed?”
Nathan paused and gave me a wary look. “If I tell you, you can’t repeat any of this to Cole, all right? He’s kind of touchy about the subject.”
“Okay.”
“He lost his football scholarship last year.”
“How did he manage that?” My mind immediately jumped to negatives—drugs, drinking, horrible grades—so I was surprised by Nathan’s response.
“During a game. He was the best receiver in the state until he got tackled wrong and broke his leg,” Nathan said. “Obviously his leg got better, but I don’t think he was the same after that. Didn’t even go to tryouts this year.”
“That’s horrible,” I said, feeling guilty. Maybe there was more to Cole Walter than girls and sex.
After our run, I went to shower, cranking the handle to cold in an attempt to cool off. The water did its job, and when I was done washing my hair, I hopped out with new life. Standing on the shower mat dripping wet, I looked around. The hook where my towel was supposed to be was empty. What the heck? I’d hung it up only moments before stepping into the shower.
A sudden thought crossed my mind, and I glanced at the counter. My heart hammered against my chest as dread surged through me—the pile of neatly folded clothes was missing. Someone must have snuck into the bathroom while I was showering and stolen my towel and clothes!
I flung open the bathroom cabinets in hopes that I would find something, anything I could use to cover myself up, but I knew that my search would be useless. The shelves were filled with toilet paper, soap, and washcloths, but nothing that could help me.
“No, no, no!” I muttered to myself. “This can’t be happening.” How in the world would I get to my room without one of the boys seeing me?
“Everything okay in there, Jackie?” Isaac asked, knocking on the bathroom door.
“Um, not exactly,” I said, my cheeks flaming. “There are no towels in here.”
“Why didn’t you bring one in with you?” he asked, trying to contain a
snicker.
“I did! Someone took it. Do you mind running upstairs and grabbing me one?”
“I don’t think so.”
“Why the heck not?”
“Because I bet Cole five dollars that you’d rather miss school than streak through the hallways. I don’t want to lose a Lincoln, now do I?”
What a complete pervert!
Although I wanted to avoid stepping on the boys’ toes so I could fit in more easily, there was no way I was going to let Isaac get away with this. “KATHERINE!” I screamed at the top of my lungs. With any luck she would hear me from the kitchen. “ISAAC STOLE MY TOWEL!”
“Sorry, Jackie, but my aunt took Zack and Benny to a dentist appointment, so she won’t be able to help you. Besides, I never said I took your towel. I just said I won’t be providing you with another one.”
“Please, Isaac,” I begged, my voice jumping up in desperation. “I don’t want to miss school.”
“Hey, I’m not stopping you. We’re leaving in ten, so you better hurry up.”
“Isaac!” I shouted, pounding on the door. “This isn’t funny.” When there was no response, I knew he’d left me stranded in the bathroom.
I slammed my fist into the door one last time before letting my forehead rest against the smooth wood in frustration. School was important—in fact, it was my life—but there was no way I would ever run through the Walters’ house completely nude. I was going to have to wait for Katherine to come home from the dentist, and by then the boys would already be at school.
Goose bumps swept up my arms as I stood in a puddle shivering. It looked like I was going to be stuck in the bathroom for a while, so I decided to step back into a hot shower to keep warm. I started to pull back the shower curtain when an idea came to me. The curtain had two parts: an inner layer of clear plastic to keep water from getting on the floor, and the second, a dark blue piece of fabric for privacy. Unfortunately, little silver rings were holding the fabric up. If only I could separate the fabric from the rest of the curtain. Maybe if I tugged hard enough…