CHAPTER IV
THE FALSE HARE
As they hurried away from the Goose's house, the children cast onelast look behind them. There at the window was the Lady Goose wavingin farewell the spoon she had stirred the hot worms with. Suddenly awhirl of white feathers flew out of the chimney, the window and thedoor, which the children in their haste had left open behind them, andhid her completely from their sight. At the same instant two feebleshrieks came from within the house.
"Squealer and Squawker both went into the heap that time, I guess,"said Rudolf.
"I'm glad of it!" Ann cried. "_I'd_ never help either of the horridlittle things out again. Would you, sir?" she asked, turning politelyto the Hare.
"I dare say not," he answered, yawning. "That is, of course, unless Ihad particularly promised _not_ to. In that case I suppose I'd haveto."
All three children looked very much puzzled.
"Would you mind telling us," asked Ann timidly, "what you meant whenyou said _this_"--and she touched her hair--"was not your business?"
"Not at all," said the Hare cheerfully. "I meant that it was."
"But you said--"
"Oh, what I _said_ was, of course, untrue."
"Do you mean you tell stories?" Ann looked very much shocked, and sodid the others.
"Certainly," said the Hare, "that's my business, I'm a False Hare, youknow. Oh, dear, yes, I tell heaps and heaps of stories, as many as Ipossibly can, only sometimes I forget and then something true willslip out of me. Oh, it's a hard life, it is, to be thoroughlyuntruthful every single day from the time you get up in the morningtill the time you go to bed at night--round and round the clock, youknow! No eight-hour day for me. Ah, it's a sad, sad life!" He sighedvery mournfully, at the same time winking at Rudolf in such a funnyway that the boy burst out laughing. "Take warning by me, young man,"he continued solemnly, "and inquire very, _very_ carefully concerningwhatever business you go into. If I had known what the life of a FalseHare really was, I doubt if I should have ever--But, dear me, thiswill never do--you're getting me into mischief! I've hardly done somuch as a fib since we met."
"Oh, you mustn't mind _us_," said Rudolf, trying hard not to laugh,as he and Ann and Peter marched along beside the False Hare. "Youmustn't let us interfere with your--your business, you know. Wesha'n't mind, at least we'll try not to. Whatever you say we'llbelieve just the opposite. It'll be as if he were a kind of game," headded to Ann who was still looking very doubtful. She looked happierat once, for Ann was quick at games and knew it.
"I think," said she to the False Hare, "that I heard something aboutyou the other day--at least I suppose it must have been you. It was ata tea-party given by a friend of mine,"--here Ann put on her mostgrown-up manner and made her voice sound as much like her mother's aspossible--"a Mrs. Mackenzie who lives in the city. One lady said toanother lady, 'How fashionable false hair is getting!'"
The False Hare stroked his whiskers to hide a pleased smile. "Blessme," said he, "I should think so! Keeps a fellow on the jump, I cantell you--this social whirl. And then, when bedtime comes along and achap ought to get a bit of rest after a day's hard fibbing, whythen--there's the dream business. I can't neglect that."
The children did not understand and said so.
"Well," said the False Hare, "I'll just explain, and then I reallymust get back to business. Now then, suppose a hound dreams about ahare? It's a dream hare, isn't it?"
"Yes, of course," they cried.
"And a dream hare is not a real hare, is it? And a hare that's not areal hare is a false hare, isn't it? So there _I_ am. That's where Icome in. Simple, isn't it?"
"You make it sound simple," said Rudolf politely. "We're much obliged.And now would you mind telling us where we are coming to, and what isbeyond this steep hill just ahead of us?"
The Hare screwed his glass into his eye and looked thoughtfully at thecountry round about. "I can tell you, of course," he said, "but itwon't be the truth. I really _must_ get back to business."
"Oh, never mind telling us at all, then," said Rudolf, who wasbecoming rather vexed, "I see there's no use asking _you_ anyquestions."
During their conversation with the False Hare, the children had beenhurrying along over a stretch of open level country. Now the groundbegan to slope gradually upward and soon they were climbing a verysteep hill. It was hard traveling, for the hill was covered withthick, fuzzy, whitish-yellow grass which tangled itself round theirfeet, and gave them more than one fall. Ann and Rudolf had to stopoften to pick up Peter, for he was rather fat and his legs were tooshort to carry him along as fast as theirs did. The False Hare hurriedahead by leaps and bounds that would soon have carried him out ofsight of his companions if he had not stopped now and then to wait forthem. When the children caught up to him, they would find him sittingon his little dress-suit case, smoking a chocolate cigarette, andlaughing at them.
"Oh, don't mention it," he would say when they apologized for keepinghim waiting. "_I_ don't mind. I like waiting for slow-pokes! It'snothing to me if I miss a dozen appointments and get driven out of thedream business by that old what's-his-name--Welsh Rabbit!"
This sort of talk was rather annoying, and after a while the childrendecided not to heed it any longer. Indeed they were all three tiredwith their climb, and were glad to sink down on the soft fuzzy grassand rest a while. The False Hare bounded ahead, calling back to them"Not to hurry", but when he found he could not tease them intofollowing, he sauntered back to meet them, looking as cool and freshand neat as when he started. Peter had been rather in the dumps eversince he had been refused a taste of the Lady Goose's dinner, and nowhe looked thoughtfully at the Hare's suit case.
"Has you got anything to eat in there?" he asked, his little facebrightening.
"Gracious, yes," said the False Hare lightly. "Lemme see! What dolittle boys like best? Cinnamon buns an' chocolate cake an'butterscotch an' lemon pie an' soda-water an' gingerbread an' jujubesan' hokey-pokey an 'popcorn balls an'--" He might have gone onforever, but Ann and Rudolf would not stand any more of it. They roseangrily and dragging Peter after them, continued their climb. Just asthey had almost reached the top of the hill, the False Hare boundedpast them with a laughing salute and a wave of his paw, and droppedout of sight over the brink of the ridge. A moment more and they allstood on the edge of a cliff so steep that they were in danger oftumbling over. From beneath the Hare's voice called up to them,"Nobody ever thought of a sheet of water--_oh_, no!"
Before their eyes lay the last thing the children had expected to see,a large piece of water quite calm and smooth, without a sign of a sailon it, nor were there any bathers or children playing on the narrowstrip of beach directly beneath them. At first it seemed as if itwould be impossible for them to climb down the face of that steepcliff to the water, but the False Hare had done it, and theydetermined that they must manage it somehow. After looking aboutcarefully, they found a set of rude steps cut in the side of thecliff. They were very far apart, to be sure, for climbers whose legswere not of the longest, but Rudolf helped Ann and Ann helped Peterand at last they were all safely down and standing beside the FalseHare, who was strolling along the edge of the water.
"Hullo," said he, sticking his glass in his eye and looking at Ann."What makes the whiskerless one so cheerful?"
Rudolf and Peter were not surprised when they turned to look at Ann tosee that she was ready to cry.
"What's the matter, Ann?" they asked.
"Oh, dear, dear!" sighed Ann. "Whatever will become of us now? Wecan't go back. Even if we could climb up the cliff, I'd never passthat dreadful Goose's house again, no, not for anything! But how arewe going to get any farther without a boat?"
The False Hare pretended to wipe away a tear with the back of his paw."No boat," he groaned. "Oh, dear, dear, dear--no boat!"
The faces of the three children brightened immediately, for they werebeginning to understand his ways. "Hurrah!" cried Rudolf, waving hissword.
Sure enough, coming round a b
end in the shore where the bushes hadhidden it from their sight, was a small boat rowed by two white candymice.