“But it wasn’t long before she went to go see the doctor again. She didn’t tell us. She hid it from us. Addicts are good at that. As a matter of fact, there are three things you can always count on when it comes to addicts: They are ingenious liars. They are master manipulators. And they will not change on their own. Ever.”
“When I came home and found her shooting up yet again, I had had it. I told her that I hated her for what she was doing to us. She said she couldn’t help it. And that she would get better if I just let her have this one hit. I said no. Then I took the needle and ran downstairs.”
“I’m not sure what I planned to do with it. I just wanted to get it as far away from her as possible. She ran after me. She was screaming and calling me names. But I wouldn’t give it back to her. I ran into the kitchen to get to the nearest phone to call my dad. I turned my back on her. You should never turn your back on an addict. But I learned that too late.”
“She picked up the butcher knife on the counter and lunged at me with it. I tried to fight her off but she was so strong. I wished she could see what she was doing to herself. What she was doing to our family.”
“But she didn’t. She only saw the high that I was denying her. She put all her energy into getting the syringe away from me. We both fell to the ground. The syringe smashes. She sees it. She looks at the broken glass like it is the last vial of hope, and that I have just taken it from her.”
“Then all I could see was her anger. It had soared and overtaken her face. She plunged the knife into my chest seven times. I wished I had enough strength to hug her just one last time. But by the seventh blow, everything began to fade.”
“I felt her on top of me. She was hugging me and sobbing. I knew the blind rage was over. I prayed to be able to go into her mind, and see what she was so afraid of that she couldn’t let the drugs go. But I would never know her fears. And would never be able to fix them…”
***********************
He sits silent for a while. Even though the story is over, he needs to linger there a little longer. I would too.
There’s so much I want to ask him but it may not be the time. I fear we may never get the time we need.
“So, that’s it. That’s my Core in a nutshell, stabbed by dear old Mom. It’s bad, but it’s not the Twins’ Core, so I have nothing to complain about.”
“Both you and Ameana were killed by your moms?”
“Yeah, it was sort of a bonding point for us. Only my mom hurt me while in a drug-induced rage. Where as Ameana’s mom…she’s just an evil woman.”
“It still has to hurt.”
“Yeah, it’s not something I go around announcing.”
“That’s how you got your powers of strength and reflecting back people’s fears?”
“Yeah, they were the last things I wished for, so Omnis gave them to me.”
“I’m sorry you died.”
“Yeah, me too.”
He looks straight ahead and throws loose pieces of rocks at the range across from us. He isn’t trying hard when he throws them, but still the rocks land with such force, massive pieces of the surrounding peaks break off.
Either he is unaware of the damage he’s causing to the side of the mountain or he doesn’t care. I look at him closely and realize he’s far away from me again. When he speaks next, he does so without looking at me.
“You wanna hear something funny?” he asks.
“Always.”
“I looked in on Andy, the drunk driver who hit us, when I first got here. He spent a few years in prison. Then got out, got back with his wife and reconciled with his brother. Their whole family gets together on weekends for football and BBQ... ”
He speaks with pained bitterness. He throws another rock and yet another piece of the mountain falls. He lowers his head, and runs both hands through his hair. As if pushing his hair back will push back the injustice of his Core.
I move closer to him and rest my head on his upper arm. He opens up and puts his arm around me. There, with my head now on his chest, I should have heard his heartbeat. But, of course, there was none.
Guardians don’t get to have heartbeats. They don’t get to save their parents from destructive behavior. They don’t get to say goodbye to their loved ones.
The only thing they get to do is try to save the world, the same world that so violently and viciously disposed of them.
“Thank you,” I say to him softly.
“For what?”
“Everything…”
*************************************************
CHAPTER ELEVEN: GIRLS
If my mind was a videotape, it would have been frayed and utterly useless. That is due to the number of times I have replayed my favorite ‘Marcus and me’ moments.
In class, that is all I did. More than once today, a teacher has scolded me for not paying attention. Miku jabs me a few times with a stern look in her eyes.
“The only reason we are sitting here is because Marcus doesn’t want you to fail. What’s the point if you keep spacing off?” she texts me. I don’t text her back.
I’m too busy replaying the chocolate moment with Marcus. That will soon be followed by the moment when he called me his girl. That’s my favorite one. I go to that one a lot.
I am like a three-year-old who has just discovered “The Wiggles” or “Barney.” It is not enough to see it once or twice. Nope, it has to go into heavy rotation.
Finally the school day is over and we file out of Atwell High. Miku is the only one here with me. The others were still planning how to get to the Witness and defeat the Hun. Not to mention Rio, who’s still hard at work on the date that was given to us by the Sage.
Miku says that she and Rio flipped a coin to see which one of them had to come to school with me. I’m not sure if her being here with me means that she won or lost.
The only other thing on my mind besides my favorite couple is the rash on my wrist. It has gotten bigger. It went from being the size of a penny to a silver dollar. It itches like crazy. I put ointment on it but and it doesn’t help. And I swear sometimes it glows a soft green color. What does that mean? I have to remember to Google it.
I get that going online for a quick medical diagnosis isn’t the smartest thing but we don’t have time for me to go to the doctor. Besides, considering all that has happened in the past few weeks, the rash is the most normal thing in my life. Anyway, that’s what I get for landing in the trash.
I zip up my jacket, and tell Miku I’m ready to go.
“Dressed like that?” she asks.
“What’s wrong with jeans and a sweater?”
“That won’t keep you warm.”
“Where are we going?”
“Barrow, Alaska.”
“Seriously?”
“Weren’t you paying attention in the car?”
“I was preoccupied.”
“Marcus on the brain?”
“Yeah, he danced with Ameana and we had a fight about it. But it’s fine now. He explained everything.”
“Yeah, I’m sure he did.”
“What does that mean?”
“Marcus always knows how to get himself out of trouble.”
“Isn’t that a good thing in a leader?”
“Yeah, but not such a good thing in a boyfriend.”
“Look, I know you don’t like us being together. No one does. I get that. But I thought you and I …forget it.”
What’s the point of trying to get through to her? It’s never gonna be like it was before with us.
“C’mon, you can get some clothes back at the house,” she says.
Once we get to there, we gather in the living room.
Marcus speaks in his usual firm, authoritative tone.
“I talked to Arden earlier and she said she placed a Meter around the Witness’s apartment.”
“What kind of Meter?” Ameana asks.
“Inner. Just like the one at Voluptas.”
“Bet, so we ca
n be in and out, right?” Jay asks.
“Yes, but once inside, there are three security locks on the door.”
“No problem. Miku and I can hack any security locks she has,” Rio says.
“No, these locks aren’t the standard programs we’re used to. There is no numeric code to crack. They are Mind Locks”
“Damn.”
“What’s a Mind Lock?” I ask.
“It’s a puzzle that only certain people can solve. The owner of the Mind Lock programs it with information that only the person who is supposed to open it, will know,” Jay tells me.
“According to Arden, the locks are programmed so that at least one member of the team can solve them,” Marcus says.
“Why doesn’t she just give us the code?” I ask.
“The way a Mind Lock works is that once it has been programmed, the owner is made to forget the code. The being who uses Mind Locks never get kidnapped or tortured because it would be pointless; they will never recall how to get pass their own security.”
“So, Arden has no idea how to solve the puzzles?”
“She doesn’t even remember what they are,” Rio adds.
“So, we are own our own,” Marcus concludes.
“What else is new?” Jay retorts.
“Rio, once we get past the Mind Locks, you come out with the Witness behind your shield.”
“Got it.”
“Ameana, move everything around; cars, trees, whatever. We need to be protected from all angles.”
“You have a layout of the building?” she asks.
Rio hands her a large map. The two pour over it.
“Miku, I need you ready to sing as soon as Emmy and the Witness are out of earshot. Sing slow and steady.”
“I’ll make it a real pretty little ditty.”
“I’m sure you will. Jay, the Witness will be terrified and is very likely to panic. You convince him to stay calm.”
“Couldn’t I just knock him out? I’ve been wanting to hit a lot lately.”
“You can take a swing at me later,” Marcus says, clearly joking.
“Sounds goods.”
Marcus goes back to this serious tone.
“I will be out front to battle Hun.”
“By yourself?” I ask.
“Nah, that’s crazy, kid” Jay says dismissively.
“I’m only gonna try and hold him off. That way, you guys have time to secure the Witness. Once that happens, you guys can back me up. Remember, the most important thing is the Witness. He is all that matters.”
“I still don’t think you should take on the Hun by yourself,” I insist.
“You wanna be his backup?” Ameana says dripping with sarcasm.
“I could if I had to,” I shoot back. She tries to suppress a smile.
“Speaking of which, what do we do with Emmy?” Rio asks.
“I think the baby should stay home. I’ll call the sitter,” Marcus’ ex-girlfriend offers in a sweet voice.
“Enough,” Marcus says, giving her a hard look. She meets his hard stare head-on.
“Don’t worry, baby girl, I got you. I’ll place you in a Holder. You’ll be fine.” Jay offers.
A Holder is a bubble-like prison that encases you. It springs out from a chain or bracelet. Nothing can get in or out of it. It’s like an invisible force field.
“Thanks, Jay,” I say smiling at him. Marcus continues.
“We don’t know what The Hun has planned. But I’m sure it will be ingenious because he’s had centuries to think of cruel things to invent. So be careful.”
“When do we leave?” Miku asks.
“The sun will set in an hour or so. We can take off then,” he says.
“How do we know Hun hasn’t gotten there yet?” Miku asks.
“There’s no way he could use any of his inventions out in the open. He can’t take off after the Witness until nightfall. Also, according to the Trackers, all the Akons are in the same place. They haven’t moved yet.”
“The Trackers they gave us are whack; they don’t work,” Jay announces.
“What’s wrong with them?”
“Last night, I wanted to make sure the Akons weren’t nearby so I checked the Tracker. It said that Rage was somewhere downtown.”
“So?”
“So, a few minutes later, I had the Tracker look for Ameana. It was her turn to guard Emmy. And according to the Tracker, Ameana was in the same place as Rage.”
The look on Ameana’s face was clear: Panic. But it was also very quick. So quick, in fact, that I’m almost certain that I had imagined it.
“Mine’s been screwing up too,” Ameana says calmly.
“Rio, take a look at them before we head out,” Marcus instructs.
“Okay, but mine works just fine,” Rio says eyeing Ameana carefully.
“Check on them anyway. We don’t want faulty info.”
“Sure.” He takes everyone’s Trackers and begins to examine them.
Miku’s eyes land on Ameana, then down to Ameana’s feet.
“Wait a minute. Are those the new Manolo Blahnik knee-high, fur-trimmed boots?” Miku asks, in complete awe.
“Yeah, I was gonna get them in black but then I saw this pair; It’s vanilla goat leather with a wraparound lace shaft and a six-inch stacked heel. I flew to the UK a few hours ago to pick them up. What do you think?”
“Once we are done saving the world, I am so going shopping,” Miku says, as she gets up for a closer look.
“I got the perfect bag to go with it,” Ameana says.
“I gotta see it.” Miku and Ameana make their way to Ameana’s room.
Jay calls after them, “Guardians: saving the world, one shopping spree at a time.”
Ameana flicks her hand quickly and the lamp in the living room comes hurling at Jay. He ducks just in time.
“Hey, c’mon, yo! Marcus, you gonna act like you don’t see that? Your ex almost took my head off, son!” he shouts.
Ameana calls out to him from her room.
“Shut up before I make Miku sing you to sleep---permanently.”
“If you’re not careful, Marcus, your ex will kill me before you have a chance to throw me off the mountain.” Jay is joking, kind of. Underneath his banter, he’s angry and hurt. He really believes Marcus will choose him to be destroyed when the Council comes back down here.
Rio tells Jay to go with him to his room and help him tinker with the Trackers.
I think Jay follows because he no longer wishes to be around Marcus. I think Marcus can sense that too.
“Don’t you want to see the life-altering new purchase?”
“I don’t think I’m invited.”
“I’m sorry that things have been bad with the girls.”
“It’s no big deal.” I shrug and look away. I don’t want him to look into my eyes. It’s like he’ll somehow be able to tell that I’m lying.
Miku matters to me. And Ameana, well, we’re never gonna be friends but I hate that I hurt her. Even if she can be mean and outright spiteful, she’s been through a lot and she deserves to be happy.
I didn’t want to take that away. I just wanted to find some happiness myself. Who knew that it would have to be her happiness or mine?
Marcus puts his hand under my chin and gently turns my face towards him.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I’m gonna get dressed.” I get up and head towards Miku’s room. He reaches for my hand.
“I’m okay. I knew this would happen. She doesn’t like me anymore. I’ll just have to deal.”
He looks sad for me. That makes me feel worse. I let go of his hand and leave the room. Once inside Miku’s bedroom, I close the door and lean on it.
I hear Marcus knocking on one of the Guardian’s bedroom doors. I quietly listen in.
“Hey, can we talk for a second?” Marcus asks.
I hear Miku answer.
“Yeah, what’s up?”
Then I hear them take a few steps. When they tal
k again, their voices sound a little further away. I press my ear to the door to hear better. I know I shouldn’t be spying, but I’m sure it’s only about the mission and they won’t mind.
“I know it’s hard for you to be in the middle. But Emmy loves you and your not talking to her is really hurting her,” he says to Miku.
“What do you want from me, Marcus? How can I pretend that you two together is a good idea? For crying out loud, every single being on this planet and outside this planet has said this is a bad idea.”
“I know you don’t approve.”
“Approve? No, Marcus, I don’t.”
“But you don’t have to go out of your way to exclude her.”
“She’s dating my best friend’s ex. Even if we weren’t on this mission, I couldn’t in all good conscience hang out with her.”
“Why?”
“Because it’s killing Ameana, that’s why.”
“She’s well enough to take shots at Emmy every change she gets”
“Argh! You are so damn dense. That girl is dying, Marcus. Maybe she doesn’t cry like Emmy does but she’s in pain.”
“She told you that?”
“She doesn’t have to. She damn near put New York City underwater.”
“Pretty, I know all the reasons why you shouldn’t talk to Emmy. But there’s one reason why you should. You love her.”
Miku is quiet for several moments.
“Tell me that I’m wrong,” Marcus pleads.
“That’s not the point.”
“Maybe she and I being together is a stupid thing to do. But you of all people should understand what it’s like giving up everything for love. You gave away your life. You gave away your brother’s life.”
“Yes, and I was wrong, Marcus. I gave everything up for love and I was wrong.”
“Maybe but you did it because it’s what you wanted to do. Emmy’s making the same choice you did and you’re judging her for it. That’s hypocritical and you know it.”
“Me? You haven’t even gotten your Rah back from Mimi and you’re already in a new relationship. You promised Mimi forever and now you’re just changing your mind.”
“How long did you want me to go on lying to her? How much longer was I supposed to be with Ameana knowing that another girl was taking every inch of space in my head? In my heart?”