Since when? Bloody Melody!
“Really? Well, more light brown, I guess. It was dyed for a job. I was just letting it grow out…”
God! Stop talking, moron!
“Hmm.”
Again with the ‘hmm’.
“We’re in my bedroom,” she said, casually.
!!!
She walked off briskly, and I followed pathetically through her amazing house. It was full of modern, abstract artwork—probably the real thing, unlike the posters of Klimt that I had in my bedroom at home. Then she led me up the wide, oak staircase into a sort of upstairs conservatory area, and my anxiety level climbed a couple more notches. But the view was stunning and for a moment I was lost in the horizon, the ocean pounding over the stony beach. What would it cost to live in a place like this? It was almost painful even to imagine. More than I’d ever earn, that was for sure.
Jo-Anne handed me a script with some passages highlighted.
“Just give this a read through. I’m not expecting you to memorize it—just get the general feel for your character, Nuriel. And take your shirt off when you’re ready.”
What?!
“Is that a problem?”
She looked at me curiously and I could feel my face getting hot.
“Uh, no. That’s fine.”
What the hell?
God, I really wished I hadn’t had all that beer and kebabs over the last couple of weeks. It never occurred to me that anyone would ask me to take my shirt off in an audition. I could have cursed Melody for this. Ironically, I’d have killed for a beer right then.
Okay. I’d focus on the script. Yes, concentrate on that. I did remember it. It had seemed kind of dumb when I did the audition tape—definitely a chick flick. I was supposed to play an angel who had come to earth to help the citizens of a community in small-town America. And, of course, I’d fall in love with a human girl. So I was a perfect being. Great. How the hell was I going to play perfect? I was vaguely aware that angels were asexual beings—at least I thought they were. Suddenly I wasn’t so sure of anything. Shit. Maybe they thought I was gay.
Feeling pale and definitely not toned, I pulled off my shirt and stood self-consciously looking out toward the ocean. At least there were no mirrors. Thank God I’d had a quick wash at the agency. Shit! Did my breath smell? I rifled through my pockets and found a packet of mints. Would three be enough? I tipped them into my mouth and started chewing.
Jo-Anne leaned through the doorway. She was staring at my chest, a frown on her face. I guessed that wasn’t good.
“Hmm … I think we can do something with that. This way, Miles.”
Do something with what?!
The room next door was set up like a small studio with bright, halogen lights, a video camera and a very large and obvious bed in the middle of the room.
What the hell was going on here? Were they making a porn film? Was I making a porn film?
Jo-Anne smiled at the expression on my face. I must have looked like a deer gazing down the barrel of a hunter’s rifle—or possibly more nervous than that.
She answered my unspoken question.
“I prefer not to use the studio’s casting suites—they’re so cold and impersonal. I find I get a better idea of an actor’s range if it’s in a more neutral environment.”
She thought her bedroom was ‘neutral’?
“Try and relax, Miles, it’s not the orthodontist.” Then she muttered to herself, “Although as you’re British that might come later.”
Huh?
I stood awkwardly, wishing I at least had my shirt to hide behind, trying to scan through the script and make some meaning from the words swimming in front of me. But my brain was having a serious meltdown. Oh no, not here. Please! Usually Clare helped me prep for script readings. The dyslexia always got worse when I was nervous—like right now. I tried to calm the fuck down and ran my finger under the lines as I tried to read through them slowly. They didn’t seem to make much sense—I started to panic.
“Okay, Jo-Anne, let’s do this, if we have to, although I don’t see the point … oh!”
I heard the sullen tone floating up from the hallway. I turned around and found myself staring into the eyes of one of the most beautiful women I’d ever seen. Long, glossy hair, jade green eyes, fan-fucking-tastic skin, and oh, so familiar. Shit! Shit! Shit! Lilia Purcell, a bona fide film star since the age of 12. And she was staring—at me! Why hadn’t I put two and two together while I was in Rhonda’s office? Lilia … Lilia Purcell!
Then her words sank into my numbed brain … if we have to … I don’t see the point … She didn’t want to be here. That much was obvious. I was wasting my time. Wasting her time.
I felt sick. Then I felt fucking angry, disappointment and frustration crashing through me. Twenty hours and six thousand effing miles. For this.
Lilia’s look of irritation was replaced by her famous 100 mega-watt smile. I had to hand it to her: the bitch could act.
“Hi! It’s great to meet you. I’m Lilia.”
Amazing! As if she’d never said a word, as if I hadn’t heard her casual dismissal of me.
She held out her hand and automatically I shook it quickly. Her skin was soft and cool. It occurred to me, in a vague way, that she was smaller than I’d imagined; smaller than she looked on screen—actually quite tiny.
I realized I was still staring, and that she was waiting for me to say something. I felt so fucking inadequate and that made me even more furious. I couldn’t help glaring at her and I was pleased because her fake, fucking smile faltered slightly. Good. In my peripheral vision I could see Jo-Anne raise her eyebrows.
Oh yeah. Great start to the audition. They were looking for chemistry, damn it!
“Okay, guys, we’ll read from page 17. This is where Esther first begins to suspect that Nuriel is more than just another student at college.”
Lilia strolled over to sit on the bed facing the camera, looking totally at ease, flicking her long, shiny hair over her shoulder. I was still staring down at the script, trying to find my place. Trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing. Yeah, acting. Right.
“Miles, when you’re ready,” said Jo-Anne, not unkindly. “I need you in camera shot: sit next to Lilia, please.”
Shit. Of course. This was a film test. Was there anything I could do today that wasn’t moronic? Probably not.
Jo-Anne turned on the video camera.
“Three, two, one…”
“You don’t sound like you’re from around here…”
Lilia’s voice was softer now. I looked up. Jeez! Her eyes were really green.
“Um, Miles?” Jo-Anne’s voice broke into my dreaming.
I scrambled to find my line.
“How do I sound?” I mumbled. Idiotic—that was how.
Lilia laughed, natural and carefree. I felt like she was laughing at me. I couldn’t help scowling at her again.
“Other than like you’re from another planet?”
“I’m trying … to fit in … but it’s harder than I thought.” Too bloody right.
“Why is it so hard?”
The next line stuck in my throat. “The people here are so … different. It’s different from what I thought it would be … I feel … different…”
Lilia leaned toward me, staring into my eyes, her forehead wrinkled with concern. When she put her hand on my knee I nearly jumped. Bitch! She knew what she was doing.
“Why do you feel different?”
“Okay, that’s great, guys,” said Jo-Anne. “Miles, good intensity but could you try it with an American accent this time?”
Fuck. Of course.
Clare
“Oh, come on! Lady Macbeth is just a cipher for Shakespeare’s misogynistic views: all that ‘unsex me’ stuff!”
I was vaguely aware that Tasha was on a roll. Ever since she’d read ‘Man Made Language’ she saw sexism everywhere. If it was the 70s, she’d be burning her bra, although she’d have to take out
the padding first.
The tutorial room was hot and stuffy, typical of London during a late Spring morning. My jeans were too thick and heavy for the unexpected heat wave and my armpits were already damp. But instead of nodding off while Tasha sparred with Professor Herring, I felt anxious. Miles had emailed me during the night to say that his phone didn’t work and that he was going straight to an audition. The bastards hadn’t even let him recover from the journey. In fact, he’d have had the audition by now and was probably in bed. I tried not to dwell on that tempting image.
It was really unfair to expect him to perform when he’d been traveling for the best part of 24 hours. He’d said LA would be tough; I just hadn’t realized it would be inhuman.
“And what is your opinion, Clare?” said Professor Herring, inconsiderately breaking into my worrying.
Miles
Second time around I nailed the American accent. Lilia blinked in surprise. I couldn’t help a small smile. Yeah! Bring it on!
“That was good, Miles,” said Jo-Anne. “Lilia, could you just try your part again: try to sound more concerned and less smug.”
Smug! Yeah, bitch!
Lilia frowned. I was liking Jo-Anne a lot at this point.
We went through the scene one more time. I nailed it again. Yes!
“Okay, good, you guys,” said Jo-Anne. “Let’s just do the scene in Esther’s bedroom. Page 35, Miles.”
Bedroom scene? What? Oh, shit. I struggled to find the right page, feeling sweatier and more uncoordinated by the second. What happened in that scene? Fuck—we had to kiss. Thank God for the mints.
I hated kissing people I worked with. It was so weird, being that intimate with someone you didn’t know—especially sober. It was almost more intimate than getting naked—not that I had a lot of experience of that when it came to acting for a film. Okay, well, none. I wondered what it must be like to have to do a love scene—that must be … focus! Kissing scene! I just had to remember: no tongues.
Lilia shimmied up the bed, sitting cross-legged. I sat awkwardly on the corner, trying to avoid impaling my balls on the short bedpost. But at least it helped me focus. Concentrate, moron!
“Okay, Lilia,” said Jo-Anne. “Three, two, one…”
“Nuriel! What are you doing here? If my mom catches you…”
“She won’t. She’s sleeping. Esther … I had to see you. There’s something I have to tell you … about me…”
“I don’t care! It doesn’t matter … not to me…”
Lilia crawled toward me across the bed, looking as sexy as hell. I couldn’t take my eyes off her. Her mouth was slightly open and she was staring into my eyes. Then her arms were around my neck and I could feel her breath on my face. She even smelled good. And my stupid, fucking, moronic body took over. I dropped the script and kissed her hard, pushing her back down on the bed.
“Okay, you guys,” said Jo-Anne, bringing me down to earth suddenly.
I opened my eyes. Lilia was lying on the bed, a look of astonishment on her face. I flushed. If I was lucky they’d just kick me out; if I wasn’t, Lilia would be calling the cops and I’d be charged with assault. Any second now…
“Well … let’s try that again,” said Jo-Anne, mildly. “Nice improvisation, Miles, but see if you can stick to the script.”
From the corner of my eye I saw Lilia smirking at me.
I shook my head, trying to clear the sensation of kissing her soft lips. Concentrate!
“Three, two, one…”
“Nuriel! What are you doing here? If my mom catches you…”
“She won’t. She’s sleeping. Esther … I had to see you. There’s something I have to tell you … about me…”
“I don’t care! It doesn’t matter … not to me…”
She stared at me and I stared back. I raised one hand to her cheek and let it hover there. She sighed and leaned her head into my hand. I felt like I’d been stung. I jerked my hand back and frowned at her. Lilia looked puzzled and then—pain flared briefly behind her eyes. I’d hurt her feelings. Or maybe she was acting. How the hell was I supposed to know? Maybe that was what drama school taught real actors. It was so confusing. I’d never behaved like this in an audition before. Damn, Lilia was good.
“Interesting, you guys,” said Jo-Anne, with a straight face. I’d no idea what she was really thinking. “I like what you’re doing there, Miles. Okay, let’s do it one more time.”
I took a deep breath.
“Three, two, one…”
“Nuriel! What are you doing here? If my mom catches you…”
“She won’t. She’s sleeping. Esther … I had to see you. There’s something I have to tell you … about me…”
“I don’t care! It doesn’t matter … not to me…”
I raised my hand to her cheek again and her look was blazing. I blinked and closed my eyes. Maybe that would make it easier. But I opened them too soon and she was staring at me again. What the hell? I tried to remember the script. Kiss her! Kiss her! I leaned in, my eyes still locked on hers and very slowly, our lips touched for the second time.
Lilia launched herself at me, and this time I was the one knocked backward onto the bed.
“Fuck!”
“Cut!” said Jo-Anne, laughing.
Lilia giggled at my expression, and I felt a smile steal reluctantly across my face.
“That’s great, you guys!” said Jo-Anne…
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Acknowledgements
Kirsten Olsen, Trina Marie, Sheena Lumsden.
Hang Le for her stunning cover work and never-ending creativity.
Audrey Orielle, Dorota Wrobel, Dina Eidinger, Bella Bookaholic, for research photos and never-failing support.
A. Meredith Walters, Roger Hurn, Nicole Reed, Monica Robinson, Devon Hartford, and Gillian Griffin, friends who share the writer’s lonely path!
The Stalking Angels: Sheena, Aud, Dina, Bella, Shirley Wilkinson, Cori Pitts, Dorota Wróbel, Kelsey, Emma Darch-Harris, Sophie Callahan, Kandace Milostan, Kelsey Burns, Lelyana Taufik, MJ Fryer, Hang (MJ), Gwen Jacobs, Kirsten Papi, Trina, Sarah Bookhooked, Sasha Cameron, Rosarita Reader, Jacqueline Showdog, Remy Grey, Ashley Snaith, Kandace Lovesbooks, Jo Webb, Ky-Bree Loves-Books, Jen Berg, Carol Sales, Meagan Burgad, Andrea Lopez, Fabiola, Paola Cortes, Kelly O’Connor, Gabri Canova, Whairigail Adam, Julie Redpath.
For their support and encouragement, I’d also like to thank…
The Book Bloggers
Kelsey’s Korner Blog
Totally Booked
Natasha is a Book Junkie
Smitten’s Book Blog
Aestas Book Blog
Angie, The Smut Club
The Southern Book Belles
Emily and the Girls, The Sub Club Books
The Red Red Red Devotees
As ever.
* * *
You’ll find free bonus chapters on my website.
www.janeharveyberrick.com
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Please stop by!
* * *
At Your Beck & Call
Hallen Jansen has it all. A nice car, a great apartment, and a job he loves – as an escort, working at your beck and call.
And he’s very good at his job
Eloise, a woman of a certain age, sees his potential one evening and grooms him to work as an escort for women, but only those who could afford his exclusive services.
For seven years the business partnership works for both of them, but when Hallen falls in love with one of his clients, a recently divorced woman 20 years older than himself, all bets are off. Can he convince Laura that he really does love her? Can they make their relationship a reality, or will it only be heartbreak for both of them?
Not all services are professional.
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BARNES & NOBLE
The Education of Sebastian
A friendship between the lost and lonely Caroline,
and the unhappy Sebastian, leads to an illicit love that threatens them both.
The Education of Caroline
Ten years after their first affair, Sebastian and Caroline meet again: this time in very different circumstances, against the background of the war in Afghanistan. Now a successful journalist, Caroline meets US Marine Sebastian Hunter – can old passions be rekindled?
The concluding story of ‘The Education of Sebastian’.
The Education of Sebastian and The Education of Caroline, combined edition
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The New Samurai
Teaching in an inner city school in London is hard enough, but when Sam loses his job and his domineering girlfriend dumps him on Valentine’s Day, he decides to start again somewhere new … in Japan. It’s not long before his ‘no women’ rule is under attack.
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Expo$ure
What would you do if you found out a really, really important secret? What would you do if people were prepared to kill to stop you revealing this secret? And what would you do if the secret was held by the US government?
A thriller that will appeal to readers of ‘The Ghost’.
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* * *
YOUNG ADULT
The Dark Detective: Venator
At 20 years old, Max Darke finds himself in sole charge of the Metropolitan Police Demon Division in London. It’s not a job for the faint hearted and some days, work is Hell.
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Jane Harvey-Berrick, Playing in the Rain
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