Logan swore again. "Only as a last resort. That would mean I'd have to tell him about the deal. It's even odds he'd go ballistic."
"The first rule of business, Logan—play the politics. Dirty politics if necessary. Don't think of it like owing your dad one. Keep the endgame in mind. Think of it more like using Harlan to get back at him. The ultimate double cross. Once you have your cash, you can tell him to go to hell. Isn't that the goal?"
She'd made a good point, but he didn't reply.
Finally, she laughed into the silence between them. "I'll do what I can on my end and keep you posted. In the meantime, don't worry." She paused. "Changing the subject to something more pleasant—I'm coming for Mom's Weekend. One of the speakers at the moms' breakfast had to back out. As a regent, I'm stepping in for her. Leave some room in your schedule for me. We have a lot to catch up on."
Shit.
"I'll be in town a week from tomorrow. Oops! I have another call coming in. Got to run. See you soon."
The line went dead. Logan ran his hand through his hair and leaned back against the bathroom counter. He'd put all the money he'd inherited into this deal last fall, when all he wanted was to prove to his dad he could make something of himself. Money he could have used to go to grad school. Money to set up an apartment in the real world. Money that gave him some independence from Harlan.
He took a deep breath. Grad school. He couldn't believe he was even entertaining the idea. He wasn't ready to leave El.
El!
She was going to be pissed at him for taking a call from Amber. And acting like he didn't trust her to overhear it. He couldn't tell El the real reason he'd run—he couldn't tell her the truth. His slid his phone into his pocket, steeled himself, bracing for backlash, and stepped into the bedroom.
El sat on the bed, fully dressed, working on her laptop. She didn't look at him when he came in. "Done with the top-secret call already?"
Yeah, she was pissed.
"It was just boring business crap." He sat down next to her on the bed. "Hey, I'm sorry. My business with her will be done soon. Don't be upset with me."
"Me? Upset?"
"Don't be like that, El. Please."
She sighed and finally looked at him. "Is everything okay with Miss Double Deltsie?"
"Yeah, she's great," he said, resolving to come clean. "And coming to town for Mom's Weekend."
Beside him, El stiffened. She was definitely upset. "Of course she is. She can't seem to stay away." El's tone made it sound like an indictment. Of him.
Logan tried to deflect. "She should be easy to avoid. Just don't go the university-sponsored moms' breakfast. She's filling in as the speaker."
El shut her laptop. "Thanks for the heads-up. Lucky for me that breakfast is the last place you'd catch my mom. Now, a frat-house breakfast would be entirely different." She sighed. "Your mom, though? That kind of event sounds exactly like her thing."
"If she goes, she'll be going on her own. I'm not going with her." He touched her arm.
She didn't seem placated. "Speaking of Mom's Weekend, I should go." She slid past him and put her feet over the edge of the bed. "I need to work the details for Mom's Weekend accommodations out with Bre. I don't even know if her mom is coming."
El was still upset. Logan couldn't stand for her to leave like this. "Don't go." He grabbed her arm.
She stared at him.
He dropped her arm. "I'm sorry." He took her hand gently in his. "Let me make it up to you. What do you want to do this weekend? Whatever it is, I'm in. We'll do it."
As she studied him, the look in her eyes scared him. She was calculating something. But he couldn't figure out what. Whatever it was, he didn't measure up. His mouth went dry. He'd promised too much. There was one thing he couldn't do and he had the awful feeling she was about to ask for it.
"I want to party." She smiled suddenly and squeezed his hand like he was forgiven. "The guys are right. We need to live a little this weekend."
Ellie
I spent the night with Logan. He had the nightmare again and woke up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat. I tried to calm him and joke about it, saying I was going to start putting a pitcher of water by his bed. He didn't think it was funny, so I shut up. I cuddled into him and ran my hands between his legs like I was interested in some late-night action.
He pushed my hand away. "Not now, El." His tone was apologetic.
I let it drop, because what else could I do that wouldn't make it worse? But turning me away was a first. It didn't hurt, not really, because I knew the reason for it. But it scared me. It felt like the first step down a slippery slope. Logan Walker didn't turn down a chance for sex unless he was so sick he couldn't perform. This was something worse than a physical illness. This was psychological. I had to act. Soon. I had to make another attempt. Before things got worse.
While Logan had been in the bathroom talking to Amber, I'd been thinking I'd taken the wrong approach. I needed to get him when his defenses were down. Which was why when he asked, I said I'd like to party. I'd never get him drunk, but if he had a few beers in him—better yet, a few hard drinks—then maybe he wouldn't fight me. Maybe he'd let me show him I wasn't Dr. Rogers. Maybe I could replace the nightmare with pleasurable reality.
It took him a long time to fall asleep again. I know, because I pretended to fall asleep again right away, but I was worried about him, waiting for him to drop off first.
He took me to breakfast at a local pancake house. Then I made him drop me off at the dorm, using a flimsy excuse. "I have to do my laundry and talk to Bre."
"You can do laundry at my place. And we have this modern invention called a cell phone."
I shook my head. "You are pathetically obvious. I don't have any good party clothes at my place."
He made puppy eyes at me. I remained unmoved. "Most of my laundry is in my room. And I need to do my roommately duty of checking on Bre and getting her out in the world again."
Logan rolled his eyes. "Tell me you're not going to invite her to party with us tonight."
I laughed. "I'm not that cruel or masochistic!"
"Good to hear." He made a comical face and kissed me goodbye before I slid out of the car. "I'll see you tonight."
I nodded. "Find the best party on campus." I bounded up the steps to the entrance. At the top of the stairs, I caught a last glimpse of his car as it turned the corner out of sight. I hadn't fully lied. I did need to check on Bre. But I also wanted to talk to the girls and get their advice.
I took the stairs to my second-floor room, slowly, and paused in front of my door. Buck up, I told myself, as I listened for music or movement inside my room. I gave up and plunged the key in the door.
Bre sat at her desk with her laptop open and her headphones on. She glanced up when I walked in and took her headphones off. "You're back."
"Yeah, the prodigal roommate returns."
"Tired of Logan already? Ready to join the Men Suck Eggs Club?"
"Not quite. You're up and dressed." I nodded toward her desk. "And studying. Are you back among the living?"
"Not quite." She smiled.
"You look like it to me. Welcome back," I said as I threw my stuff in the closet and took a seat on my bed. "What made you turn the corner?"
"I haven't turned the corner. But if I flunk out, my parents will kill me." She sighed. "Mom is coming next weekend to give me a pep talk and make sure I'm okay. I'm just practicing seeming normal."
"Good idea." I nodded. "Practice is always good."
Bre got an evil grin on her face. "And Dan totaled his car, wrapped it around a streetlight, got picked up on a DUI Thursday night, and spent a night in jail. The new girl dumped him. I guess she was more into his car than him. He's in a ton of trouble with his parents."
"Don't sound so upset," I said.
She grinned back.
"And you know this how?" To say I was suspicious of her sleuthing methods was an understatement.
"Social media."
br />
I didn't ask for more details. Last I heard she'd unfriended him, disconnected with him, taken him out of her circles, linked him out, unpinned him, basically excised him from any of her online accounts. But there were always ways to stalk people online, as I knew full well.
"Thank goodness for online connections," I said, and took a deep breath. "Speaking of Mom's Weekend, I have some bad news."
Bre shot me a worried look, like more bad news was the last thing she needed. "What?"
"My mom is coming." I made a face that showed my disgust.
Her mouth dropped open.
"I thought Nic and Tay would have told you by now," I said.
"You caught me on a good day," she said. "I haven't talked to anybody since…"
I nodded, knowing what she meant.
"Holy crap! Your mom is coming for Mom's Weekend! How did you let that happen?"
"She blackmailed me into it." I gave Bre the quick rundown. "Worse, she's insisting on staying here with us." I took a deep breath. "There aren't any hotel rooms anywhere. She wouldn't stay in one if there was. I'm really sorry. Your mom is going to hate her."
"I'm finally going to get to meet the infamous man-eating Melissa." Bre actually sounded excited. "I hope she lives up to the hype. I can't stand another disappointment." She nearly broke into an actual smile. Well, at least the edges of her lips curled up slightly.
I made a point of shuddering. "Let's hope not. Why are you smiling?" I asked, relieved she was taking the news so well.
"This is a stroke of good luck—she'll divert Mom's attention away from me."
"Yeah, maybe. But this means we're both going to have to sleep on the floor," I said. "Know anyone with a spare sleeping bag?"
"Why don't you just sleep with Logan?" Bre asked. "Your mom probably expects it anyway."
"Yeah, but his mom will kill me. Remember Thanksgiving?"
That great memory got a full smile from Bre. "I guess you could be right. But it seems like you could put your mom up on Logan's couch."
"Collin's and Zave's moms will be in Logan's apartment, too. I think they've already called the couch. And I'm not keeping Mom in Logan's room."
"Yeah, I see your dilemma." Bre took a deep breath. "I'll ask my mom to bring two sleeping bags with her and the camping pads. I'd guess your mom probably doesn't own a sleeping bag?"
"You'd guess right." I got up and gave Bre a hug. "It's good to have you back. Hang in there."
"Oh, I will," she said.
The hair stood up on the back of my neck. Something about her tone put me on guard.
I hung out with Bre for a while, then grabbed my laundry bag and headed to the basement to do my wash. Tay was working, but Nic was in her room. I tapped on the door and walked in.
"You're back!" Nic jumped up and gave me a hug.
"I'm off to do my laundry. Care to join me?"
"Wow, make me an offer I can't resist!" She laughed. "It's a nice day outside. I was actually thinking of heading to the sunbathing porch and getting some color before party time tonight.
Nic was already half a dozen shades darker than ghostly pale me.
"Don't look at me like that. Beautiful caramel latte girls like me get pale after a horrendous winter, too." She eyed me. "Let me grab my stuff. We'll throw our clothes in the machines and take in some sun. Go get your suit on."
We stopped by my room so I could change into my bikini, then headed to the laundry room and loaded up the machines. I made her swear not to repeat anything I told her and filled her in on everything, including Logan's nightmares.
"That's heavy, Ellie." She paused. "I don't need to tell you to be careful. This could backfire on you."
"I have to do something. Or I'll lose him."
She raised one eyebrow. "But getting him drunk and taking advantage of him?"
"I'm not getting him drunk. Just, you know, taking advantage if it happens."
"Well, you've come to the right place. I'll help you get ready for tonight. He won't be able to resist you. First, let's catch some rays. My mom would say you look like milk poured through a bathing suit."
"Your mom would be right."
The sun porch wasn't really a porch at all. It was the roof to the dining hall. You had to climb through a dorm-room window to get to it. Only certain rooms had access. Fortunately, we knew the girls on one of the rooms that did.
We settled our towels on the heat of the asphalt roof. I plugged my iPod into a speaker, turned up the music, slathered on lotion, and settled in—ostensibly to study—while we baked.
Chapter Twelve
Logan was late. He knew how much I hated late. But he showed up with an apologetic smile and a bouquet of flowers.
"Bought specially for you from the grocery store." He handed them to me and brushed my lips with a kiss. "You look so hot, El."
"And possibly sunburnt." The way his gaze traveled over me gave me shivers of pleasure and was worth the extra time it had taken me to get ready. I took the flowers he held out to me. "What's the occasion? I hope you aren't trying to bribe me into forgiving you for being late."
Logan being late was kind of a joke between us. He'd been late the first time we'd met for dinner and I'd almost left without waiting for him.
He looked charmingly guilty, like a bad boy who was caught. "I'd never do something as obvious as that." He pulled me into his arms and kissed me. He tasted deliciously just like himself and smelled like the cologne he always wore and the soap he scrubbed with.
But I recognized diversionary tactics when I saw them. I let myself get lost in his kiss, but he wasn't off the hook. When we finally pulled apart, I smiled into his eyes. "What are you not telling me?"
"There are a ton of great parties that have already started right in my building. Collin and Zave headed out before I left and swore to report back on the best of them. I'm waiting for their texts even now."
"Party scout, excellent," I said. "Creative. Thoughtful. Smart, sending out the experts. And?"
"There has to be an 'and'?" He stroked my bare arm.
"The 'and' is in your voice."
He sighed, putting on an exaggerated expression of being defeated. "I'm on call for CAPSA as a security escort tonight. No drinking for me." He hesitated, looking so guilty.
I stared at him like I could not believe what he was saying. "On call, meaning at a moment's notice you'll ditch me to run across campus and walk another girl home? Leaving me to what? Party on alone and call for my own security escort?" I was so surprised that I didn't have time to mask my surprise or unhappiness.
"When you put it like that." He looked totally sheepish, but he sounded defensive. "Look, I won't let you walk home alone, okay?" It was clear he wasn't going to back down.
"I thought that was a weeknight thing?"
He shook his head. "I've had the Saturday night shift since we broke up before Christmas." His eyes pleaded with me to understand. "It was the only way to keep myself sane. I needed something to do on Saturday nights so I wouldn't think about you and go crazy with loneliness. I was dealing with all the fallout from Her arrest. I couldn't talk to Jason. There was no way I was going back on my girl binge, because I only wanted you." His voice broke with emotion.
My heart cracked, too. What had we done to each other? I stared at him blankly, trying to listen with an open mind.
"I needed something to keep me from falling back into an alcoholic haze. Helping others was healing. Protecting girls in a platonic, friendly way kind of made up for sleeping with so many so callously before."
He grabbed my hand and ran his thumb over the back of it.
"The CAPSA office was shorthanded." He squeezed my fingers. "Not many guys volunteer for the weekend shifts. I didn't have anything else to do. So I took Saturdays because I could be of the most help then." He took a deep breath. "I only took Fridays when you weren't playing video games with Falcon26."
"When you put it like that," I said. He was breaking my heart. How could I be upset
with him for being such a great guy? And for holding things together and helping others rather than falling into a tailspin again? And yet I felt betrayed.
I pulled away from him, shocked by how little I knew about our time apart. "Why didn't you tell me before? Why did you plan this date and let me pick the activity when you knew you were already busy?"
He stuffed his hands into his jeans pockets and looked so contrite my heart clenched. "I'm sorry, El. I told the office on Monday that I couldn't do the weekends anymore. I thought I was in the clear. But one of the guys called in sick tonight and they couldn't find anyone else to take his place. So they called me less than half an hour ago, desperate."
"And you took it even though we had plans?" I couldn't keep the accusation out of my voice. Unreasonable jealousy is a callous bitch.
"They were in a bind, El. I couldn't live with myself if some girl called for an escort and ended up walking home alone and getting attacked."
When he put it that way, I felt like the world's most selfish girlfriend. "You aren't responsible for saving the world."
"Maybe not. But it's just one evening." He wasn't going to budge.
One evening out of the dwindling few we had left. In just a few months, he was graduating. I pushed the thought away.
He held his hand out to me. "We're wasting valuable party time. No one will be calling for a few hours."
I took his hand, pushing away my disappointment. I couldn't tell him I wasn't being entirely selfish. That I had a nefarious plan to wear down his defenses, with the help of a few drinks, and rid him of that nightmare. That his security-escort duties just ruined it. Then again, maybe I was being ridiculous about that anyway. Maybe there was no cure. Or maybe doing good was it. "The perils of dating Batman."
"You mean Bruce Wayne." He pulled me close.
"Maybe I mean both."
He pulled his phone from his pocket. "Zave says the best party is at the clubhouse." Logan shrugged.
"What?"
"Usually the clubhouse parties are lame. Either all the other parties are lamer or this is a freaky anomaly."
"What are you saying?"