Chapter XLV
"Their only labour is to kill the time; And labour dire it is, and weary woe. They sit--they lounge--turn o'er some idle rhyme: Then rising sudden--to the glass they go, Or saunter forth with loitering step and slow."
_Castle of Indolence_.
Captain Oughton, who commanded the _Windsor Castle_, was an original. Hisfigure was short and thick-set, his face broad, and deeply pitted with thesmall-pox; his nose, an apology for a nose, being a small tubercle arisingmidway between his eyes and mouth, the former of which were small, thelatter wide, and displaying a magnificent row of white teeth. On the whole,it was impossible to look in his face without being immediately struck withhis likeness to a bull-dog. His temperament and his pursuits were alsoanalogous; he was a great pugilist, knew the merits of every man in thering, and the precise date and circumstances attending every battle whichhad been fought for the previous thirty years. His conversation was at alltimes interlarded with the slang terms appropriated to the science to whichhe was so devoted. In other points he was a brave and trustworthy officer,although he valued the practical above the theoretical branches of hisprofession, and was better pleased when superintending the mousing of astay or the strapping of a block than when "flooring" the sun, as he termedit, to ascertain the latitude, or "breaking his noddle against the oldwoman's," in taking a lunar observation. Newton had been stronglyrecommended to him, and Captain Oughton extended his hand as to an oldacquaintance, when they met on the quarter-deck. Before they had taken adozen turns up and down, Captain Oughton inquired if Newton could handlethe mauleys; and on being assured in the negative, volunteered hisinstruction during their passage out.
"You heard the end of it, I suppose?" said Captain Oughton, in continuance.
"The end of what, sir?"
"What!--why the fight. Spring beat. I've cleared three hundred by him."
"Then, sir, I am very glad that Spring beat," replied Newton.
"I'll back him against a stone heavier any day in the week. I've got thenewspaper in the cabin, with the fight--forty-seven rounds; but we can'tread it now--we must see after these soldiers and their traps. Look atthem," continued Captain Oughton, turning to a party of the troops orderedfor a passage, who were standing on the gangway and booms; "every man Jackwith his tin pot in his hand, and his greatcoat on. Twig the drum-boy, hehas turned his coat--do you see?--with the lining outwards to keep itclean. By Jove, that's a _wrinkle_!"
"How many officers do you expect, Captain Oughton?"
"I hardly know--they make such alterations in their arrangements; five orsix, I believe. The boat went on shore for them at nine o'clock. They havesent her back, with their compliments, seven times already, full ofluggage. There's one lieutenant--I forget his name--whose chests alonewould fill up the main-deck. There's six under the half-deck," said CaptainOughton, pointing to them.
"Lieutenant Winterbottom," observed Newton, reading the name.
"I wish to Heaven that he had remained the winter, or that his chests wereall to the bottom! I don't know where the devil we are to stow them. Oh,here they come! Boatswain's mate, 'tend the side there.'"
In a minute, or thereabouts, the military gentlemen made their appearanceone by one on the quarter-deck, scrutinising their gloves as they badeadieu to the side-ropes, to ascertain if they had in any degree beendefiled by the adhesive properties of the pitch and tar.
Captain Oughton advanced to receive them, "Welcome, gentlemen," said he,"welcome on board. We trip our anchor in half an hour. I am afraid that Ihave not the pleasure of knowing your names, and must request the honour ofbeing introduced."
"Major Clavering, sir," said the major, a tall, handsome man, gracefullytaking off his hat: "the officers who accompany are (waving his handtowards them in succession), Lieutenant Winterbottom--"
Lieutenant Winterbottom bowed.
"I've had the pleasure of reading Lieutenant Winterbottom's name severaltimes this forenoon," observed Captain Oughton, as he returned the salute.
"You refer to my luggage, I'm afraid, Captain Oughton."
"Why, if I must say it, I certainly think you have enough for a general."
"I can only reply that I wish my rank were equal to my luggage; but it is a_general_ complaint every time I have the misfortune to embark. I trust,Captain Oughton, it will be the only one you will have to make of me duringthe passage."
Major Clavering, who had waited during this dialogue, continued--"CaptainMajoribanks, whom I ought to apologise to for not having introducedfirst--"
"Not at all, major; you just heard the brevet rank which Winterbottom'sbaggage has procured him."
"Not the first time a man has obtained rank through his 'baggage,'"observed one of the officers, _sotto voce_.
"Mr Ansell, Mr Petres, Mr Irving."
The necessary bows were exchanged, and Mr Williams, the first mate, desiredto show the officers to their respective accommodations, when he would beable to ascertain what part of their luggage was required, and be enabledto strike the remainder down into the after-hold.
As the officers followed the first mate down the companion-ladder, CaptainOughton looked at Mr Ansell, and observed to Newton, "That fellow would_peel_ well."
The _Windsor Castle_ sailed, and in a few days was clear of the channel.Newton, whose thoughts were of Isabel Revel, felt not that regret atquitting the country, usually attached to those who leave all dear to thembehind. He knew that it was by following up his profession alone that heever could have a chance of obtaining her; and this recollection, with thehopes of again beholding the object of his affections, lightened his heartto joy, as the ship scudded across the Bay of Biscay, before a N.E. gale.That he had little chance at present of possessing her, he knew; but hopeleads us on, and no one more than the youth who is in love.
The table of Captain Oughton was liberally supplied, and the officersembarked proved (as they almost invariably do) to be pleasant,gentlemanlike companions. The boxing-gloves were soon produced by CaptainOughton, who soon ascertained that in the officer who "would peel so well"he had found his match. The mornings were passed away in sparring, fencing,reading, walking the deck, or lolling on the hen-coops upon the poop. Theannouncement of the dinner-hour was a signal for rejoicing; and theyremained late at the table, doing ample justice to the captain's excellentclaret. The evening was finished with cards, cigars, and brandy _pawnee_.Thus passed the time away for the first three weeks of the passage, duringwhich period all parties had become upon intimate terms.
But the voyage is, in itself, most tedious; and more tedious to those whonot only have no duty to perform, but have few resources. As soon as theyounger officers thought they might take a liberty, they examined thehen-coops, and selecting the most promising-looking cocks, trimmed them forfighting; chose between themselves, as their own property, those which theymost approved of, and for some days fed and sparred them, to get them intowind, and ascertain the proper way in which they should be spurred. In themeantime, two pairs of spurs were, by their directions, clandestinely madeby the armourer of the ship, and, when ready, they took advantage of thetime when Captain Oughton was every day employed with the ship's reckoning,and the poulterer was at his dinner (viz., from twelve to one), to fight amain. The cocks which were killed in these combats were returned to thehen-coops, and supposed by the poulterer, who had very often had a glass ofgrog, to have quarrelled within the bars.
"Steward," said Captain Oughton, "why the devil do you give us so manyfowls for dinner? the stock will never last out the voyage: two roastfowls, two boiled fowls, curried fowl, and chicken pie! What can you bethinking of?"
"I spoke to the poulterer on the subject, sir; he constantly brings me downfowls, and he tells me that they kill each other fighting."
"Fighting! never heard of fowls fighting in a coop before. They must be allgame fowls."
"That they are, most of them," said Mr Petres; "I have often seen themfighting when I have been on the poop."
"So
have I," continued Ansell; "I have seen worse cocks in the pit."
"Well, it's very odd; I never lost a cock in this way in all my voyages.Send the poulterer here; I must inquire about it."
"Yes, sir," replied the steward; and he quitted the cabin.
With the exception of the major, who knew nothing of the circumstances, theofficers thought it advisable to decamp, that they might not be presentwhen the _denouement_ took place. The poulterer made his appearance, wasinterrogated, and obliged, in his own defence, to criminate the parties,corroborating his assertions by producing a pair of spurs found upon a cockwhich had been killed, and thrown behind the coop in a hurry, at theappearance of Captain Oughton on deck.
"I am sorry that my officers should have taken such a liberty," observedthe major, gravely.
"Oh, never mind, major, only allow me to be even with them; I shouldn'thave minded if I had seen the fighting. I think you said that you wouldlike to exercise your men a little this afternoon?"
"I did; that is, if not inconvenient."
"Not in the least, major; the quarter-deck is at your service. I presumeyou do not superintend yourself."
"Yes, I generally do."
"Well, don't this time; but let all the officers; and then I shall be ableto play them a little trick that will make us all square."
Major Clavering consented. The officers were ordered up to drill their men.Captain Majoribanks and Mr Irving had one party at the platoon exercise.
"Third man, your hand a little higher on the barrel of your musket. As youwere; support--the word support is only a caution--arms,--too--too."
"Two and two makes four," observed one of the seamen.
Lieutenant Winterbottom had another party on the leeside of thequarter-deck. "Ram down--cartridge--No. 12, slope your musket a littlemore--_too_--_too_--only two taps at the bottom of the barrel.Return--ramrods. No. 4, why don't you draw up the heel of your right leglevel with the other? Recollect now, when you shoulder arms, to throw yourmuskets up smartly.--Shoulder--as you were--the word shoulder is only acaution; shoulder--arms. Dress up a little, No. 8, and don't stick yourstomach out in that way."
Mr Ansell and Mr Petres had two fatigue parties on the poop, withoutmuskets. "To the right--face--to the right face. To the right--face--to theright--face."
"It's a dead calm with them soldiers--head round the compass," said one ofthe seamen to another.
"To the left--face--quick march, to the left--turn--to theright--turn--close file--mark time--right--left--right--left--forward."
"Them 'ere chap's legs all going together put one in mind of acentipee--don't they, Tom?"
"Yes, but they don't get on quite so fast. Holloh, what pipe's that?--'Allhands, air bedding.'"
The ship was hauled close to the wind, which was light. At the pipe, thesailors below ran up the hatchway, and those on deck threw down their work.In a minute every hammock was out of the netting, and every seaman busy atunlashing.
"Now, major, we had better go into the cabin," said Captain Oughton,laughing. "I shall, I can assure you."
Beds and blankets which are not aired or shook more than once a month, areapt to be very full of what is termed _fluff_ and blanket _hairs_, and theyhave a close smell, by no means agreeable. The sailors, who had an ideathat the order had not been given inconsiderately, were quite delighted,and commenced shaking their blankets on the forecastle and weather gangway,raising a cloud, which the wind carried aft upon the parties exercisingupon the quarter-deck.
"What the devil is all this?" cried Captain Majoribanks, looking forwardwith dismay. "Order--arms."
Lieutenant Winterbottom and half of his party were now seized with a fit ofcoughing. "Confound it!--shut--pans--handle--upon my soul I'm choked."
"This is most excessively disagreeable," observed Mr Petres; "I made up mymind to be _tarred_ when I came on board, but I had no idea that we shouldbe _feathered_."
"Support--d--n it, there's no supporting this!" cried Captain Majoribanks."Where's Major Clavering? I'll ask to dismiss the men."
"They are dismissing a great many little men, forward, I suspect," said thefirst mate, laughing. "I cannot imagine what induced Captain Oughton togive the order: we never shake bedding except when the ship's before thewind."
This last very consoling remark made it worse than all; the officers werein an agony. There was not one of them who would not have stood the chanceof a volley from a French regiment rather than what they considered thatthey were exposed to. But without Major Clavering's permission they couldnot dismiss their men. Captain Majoribanks hastened to the cabin, toexplain their very unpleasant situation, and received the major'spermission to defer the exercise.
"Well, gentlemen," said Captain Oughton, "what is the matter?"
"The matter!" replied Ansell. "Why, my flesh creeps all over me. Of all thethoughtless acts, Captain Oughton, it really beats--"
"Cock-fighting," interrupted the captain, with a loud laugh. "Now we arequits."
The officers hastened below to wash and change their dress after this veryannoying retaliation on the part of Captain Oughton. When they feltthemselves again clean and comfortable, their good humour returned,although they voted their captain not to be very refined in his ideas, andagreed with him that his practical joke beat "cock-fighting."
I believe that there are no classes of people who embark with more regret,or quit a ship with more pleasure, than military men. Nor is it to bewondered at, if we consider the antithesis which is presented to theirusual mode of life. Few military men are studious, or inclined to reading,which is almost the only resource which is to be found against the tediumof long confinement and daily monotony. I do not say this reproachfully, asI consider it arises from the peculiarity of their profession, and must beconsidered to be more their misfortune than their fault. They enter upon amilitary life just after they have left school,--the very period at which,from previous and forced application, they have been surfeited with books_usque ad nauseam_. The parade, dress; the attention paid to them, whichdemands civilities in return; society, and the preference shown by the fairsex; their happy and well-conducted mess; the collecting together of somany young men, with all their varied plans of amusement, into which theothers are easily persuaded to enter, with just sufficient duty on guard,or otherwise, not to make the duty irksome; all delight too much at first,and eventually, from habit, too much occupy their minds, to afford time forstudy.
In making this observation, I must be considered to speak generally. Thereare many studious, many well-stored minds, many men of brilliant talents,who have improved the gift of nature by constant study and reflection, andwhose conduct must be considered as the more meritorious, from havingresisted or overcome the strong temptation to do otherwise which is offeredby their profession.
"I wish," said Irving, who was stretched out his full length on one of thecoops abaft, with the front of his cap drawn over his eyes--"I wish thiscursed voyage was at an end. Every day the same thing; no variety--noamusement;--curry for breakfast--brandy _pawnee_ as a finish. I reallybegin to detest the sight of a cigar or a pack of cards."
"Very true," replied Ansell, who was stretched upon an adjacent coop in allthe listlessness of idleness personified--"very true, Irving; I begin tothink it worse than being quartered in a country town inhabited bynobodies, where one has nothing to do but to loll and spit over the bridgeall day, till the bugle sounds for dinner."
"Oh! that was infinitely better; at least, you could walk away when youwere tired, or exchange a word or two with a girl as she passed over it, onher way to market."
"Why don't you take a book, Irving?" observed the major, laying down theone with which he had been occupied, to join the conservation.
"A book, major? Oh, I've read until I am tired."
"What have you read since you embarked ?" inquired his senior.
"Let me see--Ansell, what have I read?"
"Read!--nothing at all--you know that."
"Well, perhaps so; we have no
mess-newspapers here: the fact is, major, Iam not very partial to reading--I am not in the habit of it. When on shoreI have too much to do; but I mean to read by-and-bye."
"And pray, when may that by-and-bye be supposed to arrive?"
"Oh! some day when I am wounded or taken prisoner, and cannot do anythingelse; then I shall read a good deal. Here's Captain Oughton--CaptainOughton, do you read much?"
"Yes, Mr Irving, I read a great deal."
"Pray, may I take the liberty to ask you what you read?"
"What I read! Why, I read Horsburgh's Directory:--and I read--I read allthe fights."
"I think," observed Ansell, "that if a man gets through the newspaper andthe novels of the day, he does a great deal."
"He reads a great deal, I grant you," replied the major; "but of what valueis that description of reading?"
"There, major," replied Ansell, "we are at issue. I consider a knowledge ofthe passing events of the day, and a recollection of the facts which haveoccurred during the last twenty years, to be more valuable than all theancient records in existence. Who talks of Caesar or Xenophon nowadays,except some Cambridge or Oxford prig? and of what value is that knowledgein society? The escape of a modern pickpocket will afford more matter ofconversation than the famous retreat of the ten thousand."
"To be sure," replied Captain Oughton; "and a fair stand-up fight betweenHumphreys and Mendoza create more interest than the famous battles of--,I'm sure I forget."
"Of Marathon and Thermopylae; they will do," added Ansell.
"I grant," replied the major, "that it is not only unnecessary, butconceited in those who would show their reading; but this does not disprovethe advantages which are obtained. The mind, well fed, becomes enlarged:and if I may use a simile, in the same way as your horse proves his goodcondition by his appearance, without people ascertaining the precisequantity of oats which has been given him; so the mind shows, by itsgeneral vigour and power of demonstration, that it has been well suppliedwith 'hard food.'"
"Very _hard food_ indeed," replied Captain Oughton; "nuts that I nevercould crack when I was at school, and don't mean to break my teeth withnow. I agree with Mr Ansell, 'that sufficient for the day is the knowledgethereof.'"
"Well, as the tree of knowledge was the tree of evil, perhaps that is thecorrect reading," replied Ansell, laughing; "Captain Oughton, you are avery sensible man; I hope we shall see you often at our mess, when we'reagain on shore."
"You may say so now," replied Captain Oughton, bluntly, "and so have manymore said the same thing to me; but you soldiers have cursed short memoriesin that way after you have landed."
"I trust, Captain Oughton," replied Major Clavering, "that you will nothave to make that accusation general."
"Oh! never mind, major; I never am affronted; the offer is made inkindness, and at the time sincere; but when people get on shore, and are sooccupied with their own amusements, it is not to be wondered at if they arethoughtless and forget. At one time, it did annoy me, I confess; for when Isay I should be happy to see a man, I mean it; and if I did not mean it, Inever would ask him. I thought that other people did the same; but I havelived long enough to discover that a 'general invitation' means, 'don'tcome at all.'"
"Then I most certainly shall not say one word on the subject at present,"replied the major. "How many bells was that?"
"Six; dinner will be on the table in a few minutes."
"Then, gentlemen, we had better go down and prepare. Why, Mr Irving, youhave not shaved this morning!"
"No, major, I mean to do it after dinner."
"I should rather think that you intended to say _before_," replied MajorClavering.
This gentlemanlike hint was taken by the young ensign, who was aware thatMajor Clavering, although invariably polite, even in reproof, was not acommanding officer to be trifled with; and Mr Irving made his appearance atthe dinner-table with his "chin new reaped," and smooth as if appertainingto one of the fairer sex.