Page 35 of Slow to Grow


  * - no other vehicle was found on the premises. It was all pickup trucks. 99% of which were American made, you got that gottdam right.

  In an effort to blend in with the crowds, members of the panel donned tattered overalls and sported John Deere baseball hats. Some of the braver members wore embroidered leather jackets and shitkickers (Uggs). It was further learned that entry to each facility was denied unless each male member over the age of 17 was in possession of their own flask of Amoonshine@ which inevitably turned out to be a combination of cough syrup and hydrogen peroxide

  Blood samples of many of the racegoers were obtained surreptitiously. Commission members would goad the spectator into spewing invectives about Northerners and their Godless ways, and then poke them with a needle and draw the blood. The subjects were so drunk that they attributed the pokes to Abig ole skeeters@. The Mean Blood alcohol levels of those tested ranged from .08 (illegal limit) to .33 (Alabaman).

  A shared ritual amongst the attendees was to hurl vulgarities and slurs at the passing cars. These derogatory comments were prevalent across all age levels and ethnic groups.*

 
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