These fact-finding Hunts ranged in difficulty – our mission ranked pretty low on that scale. Privately, I assumed that it was because of my performance on the last one that we’d been relegated to mediocre assignments. However, I actually didn’t mind. The important thing for me was to do well. As long as I successfully completed my part, I’d be given positive marks, and that was all that mattered. I needed to do well on all of the remaining Hunts in order to graduate and actually become a Hunter for real; becoming a Hunter was the only thing that truly mattered.
As soon as the sun set, we were off, in full Hunting gear. We spent the night watching the warehouse, and blessedly saw nothing worth noting. We returned to the safe house just before sunrise the following morning, and I was happy to sleep the day away.
At nightfall on the second night, we once again set off in our Hunting gear. We watched the warehouse for another couple of hours and, not seeing anything suspicious, made our move.
I opened myself up to both the boys’ minds, absorbing their thoughts and feelings. Their excitement and the thrill of the hunt filled me, consumed me, causing adrenaline to surge through my veins. I felt invincible. I was ready for whatever came. Unfortunately, or fortunately depending on how you look at it, in the end what “came” was nothing.
Once inside, we quickly assembled all of our equipment and combed the warehouse. I used a chemical detector to sweep the area while Erik and Henri looked for evidence of the types of physical weapons that might have been made there. I found only a trace amount of a chemical associated with the manufacture of ammunition, and immediately uploaded my findings, sending them back to headquarters. Erik and Henri found spare parts for several different models of rifles but nothing impressive – nothing like the artillery the Agency manufactured. Henri finished up by taking images of every inch of the warehouse. We were back at the safe house well before the sun started peeking over the horizon.
Henri told us that we weren’t scheduled to leave until after dinnertime, so I went to lie down, but found it impossible to sleep. Even though the mission had proved ridiculously easy, I was on a success-high.
Erik’s easygoing nature from the plane was gone. He was standoffish toward me, and careful to keep his mind guarded when it wasn’t necessary for it to be open for communication. When our minds were connected, I couldn’t help myself, I risked gently probing into his psyche, He knew me better than I’d thought; he’d known that I would try, and all of my attempts were met with resistance.
Our third mission was much deeper in Coalition territory – the southernmost tip of California. Our only objective was to confirm that a man, believed to be a high-ranking member of the Coalition, had a residence in San Lucas, California. The most time-consuming part was actually traveling there; we weren’t able to take any hover vehicles, because the skyways in that area were very restricted. We had to travel a great deal of the way by road vehicle, and an even greater distance on foot – or, rather, hoof, as it turned out. I took it as a good sign that Erik didn’t insist that I ride on Henri instead of him.
The mission went off without a hitch. We were in and out in less time than anticipated, and Henri contacted Headquarters so that they could send a hover plane to meet us early. The rendezvous was close to the safe house we’d stayed in for our first mission.
We retraced our trek from the previous day without incident.
I was riding the crest of a victory wave when we landed back at Headquarters. The time apart – and, if I was honest Erik’s coldness toward me – had made me long for Donavon and his comforting presence; I couldn’t wait to see him. I wanted to surprise him, so I opened my mind long enough to confirm that he was in his cabin, but didn’t call out to him.
I jogged the whole way back to the Hunters’ Village with a big grin on my face. I realized a moment too late that something was off. My hand was already turning the knob to Donavon’s door when a sick feeling filled the pit of my stomach. My mind was still blocked, yet instinctively I sensed that there was something inside his cabin that I wasn’t going to like. I pushed his door open using my mind. The interior of the cabin was dark, but it took only seconds for my eyes to adjust. For the first time in my life, I regretted my training.
My eyes narrowed in on Donavon’s bed. Long blonde hair spilled over the side, and a girl’s shocked voice let out a gasp as I burst through the door open. Donavon sat up so fast you’d have thought someone set fire to his mattress. He jumped off of his bed, taking a blanket with him. He hastily wrapped the material around his waist, but he was otherwise naked. I was vaguely aware of the girl saying something, but I couldn’t hear her over the ringing in my own ears.
All of the air in the room vanished, making it hard for me to breathe. The wind began to pick-up, blowing leaves and twigs through the open doorway behind me. I locked Donavon’s eyes, so full of shame and fear, with my own and bore into his mind.
“Tal, no, please don’t,” he moaned softly.
He started walking toward me, one hand extended in my direction, the other holding a fist full of blanket at his waist. I used my mind to hold him in place, rooting his feet to the floor and stopping his advance.
I felt cold rain drops coming through the open door, splashing my back. Donavon tried to shove me out of his head, but I pushed with everything I had. He was no match for me. I found what I was searching for – the fight with Erik. I saw through Donavon’s eyes as he kissed another girl, a girl who was not me. I saw as Erik walked over to him, demanding to know what was going on. I saw as Erik hit him in the mouth. I wanted to pull out of his mind; I couldn’t stand to see this, but I was in too deep to extricate myself. I watched the fight play out between the two of them. I felt something inside of me freeze and then shatter into a million pieces. My heart.
Donavon was still fighting against my mental invasion. He started walking towards me again, and I used my mind to throw him back against the cabin wall. He landed with a thud, and I heard the girl scream as Donavon moaned. He tried to get up, but I pinned him to the floor. One of his arms was hanging limply at his side. Blood trickled down his cheek as the light in his eyes slowly faded to unconsciousness. I caught movement in my peripheral as the blond moved from the bed to Donavon’s crumpled form. I didn’t think twice before mentally throwing her back down on the mattress, holding her in place. She whimpered, but was powerless to do anything more.
I refocused my attention on Donavon; he was slowly regaining consciousness. I dove into his mind, and he started shrieking like a scared child. The blonde’s whimpers grew louder as she watched Donavon writhing in pain on the floor. He grabbed his head with both hands. I wasn’t sure if he thought that would help to keep me out, or to keep his thoughts in.
I dug through Donavon’s mind, searching frantically for every memory involving the girl. I pulled on and discarded his memories, like his mind was a dresser drawer and I was looking for a matching pair of socks. He struggled harder the deeper, I went unlocking memories and thoughts that he’d worked so hard to keep from me.
Finally, I pulled out of Donavon’s head when I couldn’t handle it anymore. Feelings of betrayal and pain swirled inside of me, fighting to get out. Thunder boomed, rods of electricity streaked across the night sky. A huge explosion reverberated through the cabin, blowing the windows inward and spraying the entire room with shards of glass. A sliver sliced open my cheek, and then my entire world went black.
Chapter Twenty-Two
My head throbbed, feeling about eight times its normal size. Wincing, I tried to lift my cheek from the rough material that was scratching my skin. A large hand gently smoothed stray curls away from my face, as I attempted to open my swollen eyes.
“It’s okay. You’re okay,” Erik’s deep voice cooed. Pain radiated from my skull down through my entire body. I groaned, but finally managed to open my eyes. Scenes from Donavon’s cabin invaded my mind. Erik’s voice brought on another emotion, almost stronger than the pain – humiliation. Burying my sticky face i
n my shaking hands, I withdrew from his touch. Erik was the second-to-last person that I wanted to see right then.
Stupidly, I’d assumed that Erik had fought Donavon over his feelings for me. How could I have been such an idiot? He hadn’t actually been fighting him because of romantic feelings, but because Donavon was, in fact, an ass. He’d just been defending his partner. I was even more mortified by the fact that he’d let me believe that fight was actually over me.
The betrayal and embarrassment became too much. My body trembled uncontrollably with silent sobs. Erik wrapped his arms around me, and I didn’t pull away. Instead, I clung to Erik’s shirt, as hot tears scorched my skin. He rocked me while I quivered, overwhelmed by hurt, humiliation, and exhaustion. The ache in my chest made it hard for me to breathe. I longed to retreat to the darkness from which I’d just awoken.
“Close your eyes,” Erik murmured into my hair. His voice was firm and authoritative. “Sleep, Tal. Go to sleep,” he repeated softly, his voice commanding. I obeyed, over the stinging protests of my eyeballs.
Unfortunately, the blackness didn’t come. Colorful dreams of Donavon laughing and kissing the faceless blond played in my subconscious. Rage filled me, as I recalled the images of me attacking Donavon, screaming and clawing at his shocked expression. I wanted to physically hurt him the way that he’d hurt me. I continued to shriek while my fists pounded his chest. Cold water dripped, from the crown of my head, down my face. Rough fingers encircled one of my wrists, as I raised it to strike Donavon again. I struggled against my attacker.
“Get off of me,” I screeched hysterically. “Get off me.”
“Talia,” a sharp voice hissed in my ear. “Wake up.”
I blinked rapidly, trying to adjust to my current surroundings. My cabin. I was back in my cabin. Erik, not Donavon, was leaning over me, his hands pinning my wrists next to my head. I thrashed against his weight, but he refused to release me. Finally, my body stilled – nightmare. Donavon and the girl were just a nightmare. I struggled to sit up in my own bed, Erik’s eyes alive with alarm. I brushed at the water that was actually dripping down my face. My fingers brushed a small bandage on my cheek. The sound of exploding glass filled my ears, and a stinging sensation tingled the nerve endings under the bandage. The memories once flooded my mind, it wasn’t a nightmare.
A damp cloth was leaking water into my sheets, the wetness seeping into my thin pants. Erik tentatively released my wrists and picked up the offending rag and slowly wiped my forehead.
“Hey,” he said, giving me an uneasy smile.
“Hey,” I muttered, not meeting his eyes; I couldn’t stand to see the look of distress there again. We sat in uncomfortable silence for several long moments.
“Are you hungry?” Erik finally asked. “I can get you something to eat.”
“No, don’t feel much like eating,” I mumbled.
“Can I get you anything?” he let his hand and the towel drop back to my mattress.
“No, thank you,” I said, in a small voice. I hesitated. “Why didn’t you tell me?” I finally demanded, regretting the words the second they were through my lips.
Erik didn’t answer immediately. He looked away, the wall next to my bed suddenly becoming so intriguing that he couldn’t tear his gaze away.
“I didn’t think that I was the right person to tell you,” he said carefully, measuring his words.
“You let me think that you got in fight with him over me? You thought that was better?” I demanded, hysteria rising in my chest.
“At the time, I thought it was better. In retrospect, probably not the best move.”
“How long has it been going on?” I grabbed his shoulder, forcing him to meet my gaze.
“I honestly don’t know,” he opened his mind to me, showing me that he was telling the truth.
“Had you heard things? Is that why you hated him so much?” I pressed, looking in to his head, instead of at his face, for the answer.
“Well . . . yes. I’d . . . heard things. But I’ve never liked him, even at School.”
I saw snippets of memories dance through his mind. A much-younger Erik and Donavon trading insults in the School’s practice gymnasium. Donavon, his hand resting on the small of a blonde girl’s back, ushering her through a crowded bar, Harris’s gray-blue eyes pleading with Erik to mind his own business when he tried to follow them.
“I see.” So, everyone knew but me. Awesome. My humiliation deepened, squeezing my lungs like a vice.
“Tal, I’m so sorry – sorry this happened, sorry that you had to find out this way, sorry that I didn’t tell you. Sorry that I lied to you.” The words tumbled from his mouth, tripping over each other to get out.
“Sorry that you let me be self-absorbed, and think it was all about me?” I prompted. Rage boiled, hot and unpleasant, in my stomach. I wanted to lash out at somebody. I wanted to pummel something, and the pillow next to me took the brunt of my fury.
“I did get in a fight with him because of you,” he snapped, anger clouding his features. “I flipped when I saw him with her; I wanted to kill him.” The intensity of his words unnerved me. In that moment, I honestly believed if Arden hadn’t been there, Erik might’ve killed Donavon.
“Right, but you let me believe that it was because you cared about me or something,” I spat back. Pity flashed through his turquoise eyes, fueling the flames of my ever growing-rage.
A knock at the door cut me off before I could say anything that I might regret later. I looked at him in alarm. Erik shot up to answer the knock. I didn’t open my mind because I was afraid that it might be Donavon. I might kill him if I saw him right now. It wasn’t Donavon; It was worse – Mac.
“Director McDonough,” Erik greeted him in a tone just south of respect.
“Mr. Kelley,” Mac nodded, ignoring Erik’s inflection.
“Hi, Mac,” I mumbled.
“Natalia,” he didn’t sound happy. “Mr. Kelley, could you excuse us for a moment?”
Erik nodded, but waited until I gave him the okay before stepping through the open doorway. “I’ll be right outside, Tal.”
Mac walked over and took the place on my bed that Erik had just vacated. He didn’t say anything for several minutes. I shifted uncomfortably on my slightly soggy sheets.
“How much trouble am I in?” I asked, when I couldn’t stand the silence anymore. I figured there would be repercussions for the property damage, at the very least, not to mention the fighting.
“No trouble, I already took care of it.” He wouldn’t look at me. Relief washed over me; Mac’s position as my de facto guardian did have its advantages.
“Thank you,” I replied, quietly.
“You don’t need to thank me. While I cannot condone your actions, I cannot say that I blame you either. Donavon and the girl were not harmed,” he added the last part almost as an afterthought.
“I wish that I could say that’s a good thing,” I blurted out. A hot flush crept up my neck and spread across my cheeks. I probably shouldn’t have said that out loud.
Mac actually laughed, “I warned him not to make you mad.”
That wasn’t exactly the response I’d expected. Mac knew that I had a temper, but I wasn’t aware that he thought it warranted a warning. I almost wished he’d yell at me, admonish me for my rash behavior. If he scolded me I at least would have another outlet for my bursting emotions. Instead, it was almost as if he understood why I’d done what I’d done. Worse, it was almost like he’d expected something like this to happen. I wasn’t sure if I should be angry that Mac thought so little of my self-control; I guess, in light of my actions, he was justified in assuming that I couldn’t control myself.
Neither of us spoke for several agonizing minutes. Just when I thought that he might leave without another word, he spoke, his usual no-nonsense demeanor back in place.
“I have lined up several more missions for your team in the coming weeks. You’ve done exceptionally well in your training, and I think that i
t would be good for you to take this opportunity to refocus. I know that right now this seems like the end of the world, but you are smart and I am sure when you take a step back you will realize this is for the best. We are still a nation at war, and there are more important things that need your attention.” To anyone else, his words would have seemed harsh and uncaring, but I knew that he wasn’t saying it to be cruel. Mac believed in Toxic and the Delegation. He was right – there were more important things for me to worry about. His words shamed me; here I was concentrating on my love life, when in the grand scheme of life, it was inconsequential.
Mac was also right about me feeling like it was the end of the world. I couldn’t help myself. Donavon’s betrayal did feel like the end of the world, at least the end of mine. How was I going to keep going, when Donavon had been the only reassuring presence in my life since my parents’ deaths?
When I finally summoned the ability to speak, I fought to keep my voice even. “Thank you. You’re right, I would really like to concentrate on work,” as I said the words, I knew that they were true. Of course I desperately wanted to crawl under my comforter and never see the light of day again. However, I had a duty, and I would not further disgrace Mac by shirking my responsibility to the Agency. I couldn’t even imagine what the people that Mac answered to thought about me attacking Donavon, but I am positive that it didn’t reflect well on Mac. And, there was no way I would lend any more credence to the commonly-held belief that I didn’t belong here.
“I have you scheduled to leave in a couple of days for a week-long mission. I’ve made arrangements for the three of you to be moved to the apartments. Your personal belongings will be in your new room when you return.”