“I just heard,” she said excitedly.
“Heard? About what?” How I cried like a little girl during a mission? Yeah, I need have to hear about that, I was there.
“The Director gave us permission to attend the Festivis celebrations in the city!” Penny could barely contain her enthusiasm.
“Oh right, Mac mentioned that.” Before Mac had lectured me about my dedication to becoming a Hunter, I’d been really excited about attending the celebrations as well, but now it didn’t seem so important.
“We totally have to find our most city girl looking outfits!” Penny seemed immune to my indifference.
“I’m not really sure I’m up for going,” I started. Penny’s face fell, and her bright green eyes clouded with disappointment.
“We don’t have to dress up,” she offered, looking hopeful.
“It’s not the dressing up, Penny,” I assured her.
“Then what is it? I’ve always wanted to attend Festivis Day celebrations,” Penny pleaded. “At the orphanage we were only allowed to watch the parade go by, but they never let us leave to take part in any of the activities.”
“I’m sure that some of the other Cryptos are going, right? Why don’t you go with them?”
“Because I want to go with you!” she gave me one of her big toothy smiles and batted her eyelashes, exaggeratedly at me.
“I don’t know, Penny. . .”
“I promise that it’ll be fun,” she could tell my resolve was weakening and she pounced on the opportunity. “If you aren’t having fun, you can just tell me and we’ll come straight back,” she promised.
It wasn’t like I was going to train today anyway, so I nodded, “Deal.”
Penny’s fervor was contagious, and before long I was almost as amped to go as she was. Penny took a quick inventory of my closet, and dismissed all of my day-to-day clothes as too boring. She pulled out the silk garment bags that contained my most recent gifts from Gretchen, and littered their contents across my bed. I could practically see the wheels turning in her overly-analytical Crypto head, as she ran her fingers over the fabrics.
Finally, Penny held up a long, sleeveless dark green dress made of chiffon. The straps of the dress fastened over the shoulders, with two large interlocking gold hoops on each side. The dress was cut in a deep V in the front and back, and a thin slip of a light green see-through material was all that prevented my skin from exposure. The waist of the dress was cinched with a wide belt that was the same lighter green shade as the slip and was embroidered with gold and dark green flowers. The skirt of the dress was floor length, full and flowy. A small gold hook was sewn into one side of the skirt, so that I could hold the bottom of the dress off the ground when I walked.
“This is amazing!” she squealed. “You are going to look amazing in it!”
“Thanks, it was a present from Gretchen. I think she always wanted a daughter,” I mumbled, embarrassed.
“Now we just need to decide on your makeup.” She scrutinized my features and I suddenly felt very self-conscious under her intense gaze. “Stay right here. I’ll be right back,” with that Penny was out the door. She was only gone for a couple of minutes, but when she returned her arms were laden with garment bags of her own, and huge boxes that I had a feeling contained makeup.
Penny dumped all the stuff on my bed, and pulled one of the chairs from my breakfast set into the middle of the room.
“Sit,” she ordered, her eyes glittering with excitement.
I obediently sat in the purple plastic chair and closed my eyes, giving my appearance over to Penny. While I still wasn’t fully committed to the idea of going into the city, I began to warm to the idea. After the nightmare mission, maybe blowing off a little steam would be good for me. Maybe, dare I hope, I would even have a good time. Celebrating Festivis Day in the city with Penny had to be better than the alternative – wallowing in my own self-pity.
For the next hour or so I opened my eyes when Penny said open, I puckered my lips when Penny said to pucker, I tilted my head when Penny said to tilt, and I tried not to flinch while Penny tugged and wound my hair around my head.
“Done!” she announced proudly, after she zipped up my dress.
“Can I look in the mirror now?” I asked, although I wasn’t sure that I really wanted to. If Penny’s makeup was any indication of what she found attractive, and I kind of assumed it was, then I probably looked ridiculous.
“Of course! You’re totally going to love it!”
I grimaced. Somehow I doubted that, but for Penny’s sake, I’d have to pretend.
I was shuffling my way towards the bathroom, trying not to step on the hem of my dress, when I heard a knock at the door. I looked at Penny, alarmed. She gave me a quizzical look in return.
“I don’t want anybody to see me like this,” I mouthed.
Penny rolled her eyes and moved towards the door. I knew before she opened it that Erik was on the other side. He was dressed from head to toe in black, making his turquoise eyes shine like two small, perfectly matched gems. His black dress pants fit perfectly, the black leathery belt threaded through the loops looked shiny and new, and his black dress shirt gave off a slight shine when the light hit it. His ensemble was completed with a black dress jacket.
“You girls almost . . .” Erik trailed off when he saw me standing in the middle of the room. “Tal, you look . . .”
“Ridiculous?” I finished for him.
“No, no, you don’t look ridiculous. You look amazing,” his eyes traveled the length of my body slowly, leaving me feeling flushed and oddly thirsty. The memory of Erik’s hand brushing my stomach to put on my bandages suddenly invaded my consciousness, and the same tingling sensation that captivated me then washed over me ten-fold now. I let out a shaky breath, silently praying Erik that hadn’t felt it too.
“Thanks,” I mumbled, reaching up to smooth my hair self-consciously. I pulled my hand away in horror when I felt feathers covering one side of my head. Blood rushed to my cheeks, but thankfully Penny had put so much makeup on my face that I didn’t think either of them could tell.
“I just need to get myself ready, we’ll only be a minute,” Penny said to Erik.
“Are you going with us?” I asked, confused.
“Who’d you think was going to drive you?” he smirked. I hadn’t really thought about it. Any Operative who hadn’t left the compound for the holiday would be going to the city celebrations, and all the Pledges that were still here would likely be trying to sneak into the city. I guess I’d just figured that we’d beg a ride off one of them.
“Thanks,” I smiled at Erik.
“No problem. I’ll wait downstairs with Harris and Henri, just come down when you’re ready,” Erik made no move to leave, instead staring at me with a glint in his eye that made my head spin.
“The sooner you leave, the sooner Penny can get dressed,” I said, trying to keep my voice even.
“Right,” he spun on his heel and strolled to the door. Once he was gone I let out a breath that I hadn’t realized I was holding, and felt the circulation return to my extremities as the pounding in my heart quieted.
Penny gave me a knowing look, but kept her mouth shut for once. She hurried into the bathroom and, in record time, applied smoky gray and black shadows with flecks of gold over her eyelids and blood red gloss on her thin lips.
She held up three simple dresses for me to choose from. They were all the same basic style, one-shouldered sheaths that hung to the middle of her calf, one in black, one in electric blue and one in lemon yellow. I saw her glance enviously towards the rest of my elaborately-styled dresses strewn about on my bed. I wanted to offer her one, but given our considerable height difference, they would never fit her. Instead, I pointed to the electric-blue one and watched as she slipped it over her head.
I smiled, “You look beautiful.”
She returned my smile, “We’d better go before the cavalry returns.”
I quickly programmed a request for room mai
ntenance, to clean the mess that Penny and I’d left behind, as we scurried out the door.
As Penny pushed the down button for the elevator, I glimpsed my reflection for the first time in the metal doors. Penny had smoothed my curls into a sleek bun, on one side of my neck. I did indeed have gold feathers decorating the opposite side. She had dusted green and gold shadows over my eyelids, and a pink blush on my cheeks. She’d informed me, with a smirk, that the blush was called First Kiss. The pale pink gloss on my lips added very little color, but a whole lot of shine. I smiled at my reflection. I definitely looked like a city girl.
Erik, Henri and Harris were waiting for us in the lobby when we emerged from the elevator. I hadn’t seen Harris since my fight with Donavon, and I had no idea what he thought of me; he was, after all, one of Donavon’s best friends.
I gave the boys a tight smile and busied myself with fastening the hook on skirt of my dress to the thin gold bracelet fastened around my wrist.
“We’re ready to have a totally awesome time!” Penny announced in greeting.
“Good, let’s get going,” Henri laughed at her enthusiasm.
Penny and I followed the boys through the apartment lobby and out into the cool day. To my surprise, Erik fell back and offered me his arm, as I hobbled unsteadily on the wooden shoes designed to be worn with the dress. Penny shot me a not-so-subtle look before hurrying forward to catch up with Henri and Harris.
“How ya doing after yesterday?” Erik asked, in a quiet voice.
“Better,” I lied. My earlier conversation with Mac may have confirmed that I had a killer instinct lurking somewhere deep within, but every time I thought about the man in the laboratory on his knees, begging for his life I felt disgusted with myself. I wasn’t sure if there was valor in revenge but I did know that there was nothing heroic about what we’d done yesterday. I tried to remedy that by pushing those thoughts to the darkest, cobweb laden corner of my mind.
“Good,” he answered, with an easy smile. There was no doubt in my mind that he knew I was lying. “You’re going to love the city celebrations,” he said, changing the subject. “The floats in the parade are awesome and the street vendors sell great food, you’re seriously going to love it.”
I’d never seen Erik so animated before. I’d felt his thrill, his fear, his anxiety, and even his self-loathing after he plunged the needle in the scientist’s neck, but never genuine happiness. I smiled, letting his exuberance become my own, my mood lifting until I too wanted nothing more than to celebrate Festivis. I listened intently as he babbled on about the festivities during the entire walk to the hangar and for most of the ride into the city.
The city celebration was everything that he’d promised and more. The streets had been shut down to vehicles, leaving street vendors plenty of room to set up.
Our small group, plus Frederick, who had met us at the Toxic’s city hover hangar, made it’s from one street vendor to the next, stopping to sample the delicacies. I ate pork and pineapple skewers from one, and a caribou dog wrapped in a cornbread bun from the next. Penny and I split candied plums and spiced apples from a dessert vendor, and cashew and pistachio crisps from a nut vendor. Erik insisted that I try a bite of his black bear and bean burrito, and despite the feeling that my stomach had already stretched beyond its capacity, I ate half.
The exotic food vendors were only outdone by the performers dancing through the streets, and the elaborate floats. Each float held a small group of representatives from each state. Even the representatives from the smaller, and usually poorer, states were dressed in their finest silks and satins, with brightly colored jewels adorning their bodies and elaborate head toppers. I marveled as the street performers flipped and tumbled through the air, twirling fire batons and sharp swords.
The atmosphere in the nation’s capital was lively and energetic. Residents from cities all over the country had come to D.C. to celebrate Festivis. People toasted each other in the streets, randomly hugged and kissed strangers, and broke into off-key verses of the National Anthem.
The mood was infectious. I was careful not to drink too much of the burning, brown liquor that a drink vendor handed me when we walked by, but the couple of sips that I had spread warmth and happiness through me. Before I knew it, I was dancing and singing off-key with the rest of the celebrators. I wasn’t the only one who appeared to be enjoying myself; Erik refused to dance with me, but he hooted and hollered as Penny and I danced circles around him. Henri and Frederick were holding hands and singing at the top of their lungs to the District’s state song, which was blasting out of speakers mounted on the buildings. I’d seen Henri relax, and even joke with Erik, but I’d never seen him really enjoy himself before now. Harris drank several cups of the brown liquor, and kept making excuses to touch Penny’s arm or lean in closer than necessary to whisper in her ear, sending her into a fit of giggles. Penny was basking in Harris’s attention, and I loved seeing her so happy.
When we finally got tired of contending with the crowds on the street, we ducked into an eatery called Igloo; the entire inside was made of ice. I recalled Frederick telling us about this place, and was excited to see it firsthand. I was still stuffed from all of the food I’d sampled, so I only ordered a hot chocolate. It came out topped with huge fluffy marshmallows and, at Erik’s insistence, spiked with several shots of cocoa liquor. The boys somehow found room for cold squid noodle salad with beef and cooked carrot skewers also served cold, with frosty mugs of beer to wash it all down.
“I think it’s time that I took you girls back,” Henri said regretfully, to me and Penny after all of the food and drinks were gone.
“No one will notice if they aren’t back before dark,” Harris commented, slurring his words a little bit. He reached over and rubbed his large, calloused hand down Penny’s arm, and she let out an excited titter.
“The Agency notices everything,” Frederick said darkly. It was an awkward moment – something about the way that he said it made me uneasy. I looked around, but nobody else seemed concerned; maybe there’d been too many shots in my hot chocolate.
“The Director was very clear about wanting them back before dark. I don’t want him taking their privileges,” Henri said, giving Frederick a pointed look. Guess I wasn’t the only one who’d noticed.
In the end, everybody came back with us to Headquarters, except Frederick. Henri promised him that he’d come back after he dropped the rest of us off. Penny disappeared with Harris as soon as we landed. I was a little nervous about letting her go off with him when they’d both been drinking, but she seemed so happy that I didn’t want to burst her bubble. Henri turned right around and headed back to Frederick’s apartment in the city, leaving me and Erik standing together, alone, outside the hangar.
“Walk you back to your room?” he asked, offering me his arm.
I smiled and circled my arm underneath his.
“Do you think Penny will be okay alone with Harris?” I wondered.
“He’s a good guy, Tal. She’ll be fine.”
“You’re a good guy, and I wouldn’t leave a drunk friend alone with you,” I teased.
“I’m offended!” Erik bristled. “I’ve always been a perfect gentleman to you.”
“Yes you are,” I agreed quietly, suddenly struck with the thought that I might not want him to be such a gentleman.
What is wrong with you? I scolded myself. You just got your heart broken by the boy you’ve been in love with since you were ten. It’s way too soon to be thinking about another guy.
I couldn’t rid myself of the overwhelming amalgam of feelings when I was alone with Erik. In practice I was aware of him, but not like I was aware of him when it was just us. And we were touching.
“Have fun today?” Erik probed, mistaking my sudden change in mood for sadness.
“I did, it was everything you said it would be,” I tried to give him a genuine smile, but when I looked up in to his eyes my stomach muscles tightened, clenching so forcefully that I grimace
d.
Erik walked me all the way to my door. He waited patiently while I pressed my palm to the sensor next to the door and the green light came on, indicating that the scanner had confirmed my identity. I walked in, looking back over my shoulder when I didn’t feel Erik following.
“Don’t you want to come in?” I asked, trying not to sound too disappointed.
“I don’t know . . . I’m still pretty worn out from yesterday. I think that I should turn in early,” Erik’s voice was tight.
“Oh, okay,” I nodded, giving him a half smile. I wanted to open my mind to see what he was really feeling and thinking, but Erik was the only person that I’d ever subconsciously transferred my thoughts and feelings to. My emotions were so out of control, I worried that if I opened my mind, I wouldn’t be able to contain my thoughts and feelings to my own head.
In one quick, fluid motion, Erik moved from the doorway into my room. He wrapped one of his rough hands around the side of my neck, rubbing his thumb along my jaw bone. My breath caught in my throat, and the room started to spin around us. He placed his other hand on the small of my back, right below the bottom of the V in my dress. I could feel his warm hand through the thin material. He leaned down, his turquoise eyes holding my purple-blue ones.
I bit the inside of my lip so hard that I tasted blood. The pain cleared my head just enough to remember to breath, preventing me from passing out on account of the lack of oxygen. I wanted him to kiss me so badly that I could taste the desire, mixed with the blood in my mouth. I wanted to know how he felt, I craved the mental connection. I reached out to his mind. I felt raw desire, so primal that it felt more animal than human. I could hear his mental struggle over whether to kiss me, and I wanted to reassure him. I wanted to beg him to kiss me. I wanted to plead with him not to let this moment end. I wanted to tell him so many things.
The agonizing seconds of anticipation before you dive head-first off of a cliff are only outdone by the actual free-fall itself. I was done agonizing; I was ready to jump, I wanted the free fall. Erik tilted my face gently towards his. I closed my eyes as he leaned down, knowing this would be the moment that we went over the edge. As Erik touched his lips gently to mine I felt a crackle of electricity shoot through our lips and straight down to my toes. It was the strongest sensation that I’d ever experienced. Even with everything that Donavon and I had shared, we’d never had a kiss like this. I’d never felt anything like this when I was with Donavon.