The guy examined my face carefully.
“Please ignore her.” I walked down to the other end of the bar where no patrons were sitting. Ava followed and took a seat on an empty bar stool.
Getting back to work, I wiped down the counter, attempting to ignore her, but she just kept staring at me with a goofy smile.
Sighing, I stopped. “What?”
“You’re really not going to tell me anything?”
“It’s not what you think.”
“So something did happen with Davis. Spill it!”
“Davis and I went to dinner last night.”
“I knew something happened. You have that look on your face like you’re in love or lust.”
I hoped it was the latter that gave me butterflies in my stomach every time I thought of Caine West, because I was certain the former was not a good idea. Ava took my starry-eyed, glazed-over face to mean the latter.
“Sex looks good on you.”
Luckily a couple walked in and wanted to be seated, providing a temporary reprieve from Ava’s grilling. Even though she had a big mouth, I knew she’d never tell any of my secrets—that wasn’t what kept me from telling her the truth. As silly as it sounded, I just wanted to keep what had happened between Caine and me to myself. I wasn’t ready to overanalyze what was going on. I chose to remain in my own private, ignorant bliss for as long as I could.
That wouldn’t be very long, though.
Around nine o’clock, I was shaking up a Cosmo in a silver shaker, not paying attention, when Ava’s voice surprised me. She spoke in that sing-songy way that most girls grow out of around the time they ditch their training bras.
“Hiiii,” she lilted. “I wonder what brings you here tonight?”
I looked up to find Davis at the end of the bar, shrugging out of his jacket. Guilt smacked me in the face. Damn it. Why hadn’t I responded to his texts this afternoon? He waved, and I motioned that I’d be a few minutes. There was nothing keeping me from walking down there, so I had to create some reasons. I filled a customer’s beer and chatted with him for as long as I could, then offered to close out a tab for a guy who wasn’t nearly ready to leave. That was the extent of my customers, so I was almost out of stalls when I saw Ava coming toward the bar. Hopefully she had a drink order.
“Go take a break. I’ll cover for you.” She winked. “And I don’t have any reason to come into the stock room at all, if you happen to want some privacy.”
Guilt fueled my panic. As I glanced down the bar, Davis smiled, none the wiser that my armpits were damp, and I felt slightly nauseous.
“Actually, can you help me with something in the kitchen?”
Ava’s brows furrowed. “Sure.”
“I’ll meet you back there in a minute. Let me just get Davis a drink.”
“Okay. But you’re acting strange.”
“Just go.”
“Fine.”
I took a deep breath and walked down to the end of the bar. Forcing a smile, I said, “Hey. This is a surprise. I didn’t know you were coming.”
“A good surprise, I hope.”
Ummm. “Of course. I just need to take care of something in the back. What can I get you to drink? You want the usual?”
“That sounds good. Thanks.”
Somehow I managed to mix Davis’s Tanqueray and tonic without spilling it and serve it with a smile. “Be back in a bit.”
Ava was waiting in the kitchen. “What’s going on? You looked like you were on cloud nine ten minutes ago, and now you’re miserable since Davis showed up? I take it you weren’t expecting him.”
I paced back and forth. “No, I wasn’t.”
“What’s bothering you? Did you not have a great time last night?”
“No, I did.”
“Okay…”
I rubbed my forehead. “Davis and I went to dinner. We had a nice time, but I was confused, so I called it an early night and went home.”
“That’s it? I could have sworn I was looking at post-coital haze before.”
“You were.”
“What am I missing?”
I stopped my pacing and looked at my friend. “I slept with Caine after dinner last night.”
“What? Caine…as in Professor West?”
I nodded.
“I’m confused. I thought you had dinner with Davis?”
“I did. And then I went home. Earlier in the day Caine and I had an argument at school…sort of. When I got home from my date with Davis, Caine was waiting for me. He wanted to talk. We had another argument and—”
Ava grinned. “Pissed-off sex is the best. Fuck me like you hate me.”
“What am I going to say to Davis now?”
“He doesn’t know anything happened other than you went home and went to bed after dinner, right?”
“I guess.”
“So just pretend it didn’t happen.”
Obviously she’d never had sex with Caine. Pretending it didn’t happen was like trying to eat only one Pringle out of a full can. “I’m a terrible liar.”
“So don’t lie. If he tries to talk about anything between the two of you, just say you’re at work and would rather not talk here. Postpone having the conversation until you’re ready. And even then, if you only want to be friends with Davis, you don’t need to tell him anything else.”
I took a deep breath. “You’re right. I’m acting like an idiot. I feel guilty, and that’s what this is all about.”
“You have nothing to feel guilty about. You’re a grown woman who’s single. Did you make any commitment to Davis during dinner?”
“No. I told him I needed to think about things.”
“So.” She put her hands on my shoulders to calm me. “You’re fine. You didn’t do anything wrong. Take a minute or two, and then go back out there and act like a woman who didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Okay.”
“You good?”
“I think so.”
Ava went back out to the bar while I took a minute more to compose myself. She was absolutely right. I had nothing to feel guilty over, and Davis had no idea what had happened last night. I can do this. Keeping Caine out of my mind for a little while wasn’t so tough.
I took a deep breath and swung open the door, feeling much calmer.
Until…
I looked over where Davis was sitting and saw a man sitting next to him. That man was Caine.
Ava saw me standing frozen in the doorway and walked over. Her eyes were wide. “Did you know either of them was coming?”
“Nope. Guess both decided to surprise me. Fuck. What the hell am I going to do?”
“Okay. Let’s think about this. You still haven’t done anything wrong. Although clearly you’re going to act like a weirdo when you go over there.”
“Clearly.”
“Does Davis know who Caine is?”
I shook my head. “No. I don’t think so.”
“How about Caine?”
“He knows who Davis is from the picture on the wall in my apartment. I’m assuming he’ll recognize him, if he hasn’t already.”
“Okay. I have a plan.”
“Thank God.”
“You’re going to have to go over there and act like nothing’s wrong.”
“That’s your plan? What kind of a plan is that?”
“The only one you have. Go back behind the bar and say hello, and then I’ll stick close if I need to intervene.”
My eyes flicked over to where the two men sat at the same moment Caine looked over at me. His face was unreadable. My stomach felt sick. I wanted to go behind the bar, grab a bottle of anything, chug it, and retreat out the back door.
Ava smirked, knowing what I was thinking. “We can have a drink when it’s over. Just rip the Band-Aid off and go over there. It might not be so bad.”
She handed me a ticket with a drink order. “Table three wants some fru-fru drink. It will keep you busy back there for a few minutes anyway.”
Swearing under my breath, I took the ticket. “Stay close.”
Ava smiled. “I will. I can’t wait to watch the show.”
I wagged my finger at her. “This is all your fault, you know.”
“My fault?”
“If you knew blue from brown, I wouldn’t have told off the wrong guy that night. Caine and I might not have gotten off to the rocky start we did, and we might have kept things professional.”
Ava hooked her arm with mine. “You’re welcome then. Let’s go.”
Behind the bar, I busied myself making Ava’s drink order at the opposite end from where Davis and Caine were sitting. I avoided looking over as long as I could, but eventually curiosity won out and I found both of them watching me mix the drink.
I waved nervously and shook the drink in the shaker for way too long. Then I wiped down the counter and asked the only other two patrons if I could get them anything else. With nothing left to do and four eyes on me, I had no choice but to face the inevitable.
I took a deep breath and headed to the other end of the bar. Since I’d already said hello to Davis, I looked to Caine first. “Hey. I didn’t know you were stopping in.”
He glanced sidelong at Davis and then stared me down. “Yes. Apparently I should have called ahead for a reservation.”
Shit.
Davis, oblivious to Caine’s identity and the meaning of his comment, laughed. “Yeah, this place is an old man’s bar. It’s empty at night. I only come for the pretty bartender.”
The muscle in Caine’s jaw flexed.
I pointed to Davis’s empty glass. “Would you like another?”
“Sure.” He pointed to Caine. “And I’ll buy my friend here one, too.”
Caine stared at me. “No, thanks. On second thought, I’m going to call it a night.” He stood abruptly, and the legs of the stool screeched on the floor as he pushed it back out of his way. “Get home safe, Rachel.”
And just like that, Caine was gone.
“What’s up with that guy? I take it he’s a regular?”
I took Davis’s glass from the bar. “He stops in once in a while. Let me get you that refill.”
Ava met me at the other end of the bar. “What the hell happened?”
“Nothing. Caine left.”
“Because of something Davis said?”
“No. He just left.”
“So he just left you to spend the evening with a guy he knows you had a relationship with once and who wants to try it a second time?”
I knew she didn’t intend for it to be hurtful, but she was right, and the truth stung. That was exactly what had transpired. Caine had bowed out. He wasn’t in it for a fight. He wasn’t in it for anything other than what we’d had—sex. Anything else I’d built up in my head was just wishful thinking.
Rachel
I had no right to be angry.
Although not having a right to feel a certain way and actually controlling how I felt were two different things. I tried in earnest to disguise my bitterness after class the next day. As usual, I’d waited for the room to empty before going down to speak to Caine. I’d held an extra-help session before class, and he liked to keep the sign-in sheet to see who was making an effort. I handed it to him.
“You were late.”
“No, I wasn’t. I got here right on time.”
“I was referring to the extra-help session.”
The session hadn’t even been held in a building Caine taught in. And I was barely late.
“I was literally two minutes late. And you’re checking up on me?”
He stared at me. “I don’t like lateness. Maybe you should plan to start the sessions later if you have to work late or whatever.”
It was the or whatever that let me see past the blank mask he wore.
I squinted. “Were you looking for me this morning for a reason or just checking up on me?”
“Just be on time, Rachel.”
“Answer my question.”
Caine had turned away from me as he packed up his bag, but he stopped to look at me. His eyes were dark. “Not here. I can tell this conversation is not going to be one I should have in my classroom.”
“Fine. Then where would you like to have it?”
He lifted his bag off his desk. “I prefer not to at all.”
I folded my arms across my chest and raised my voice. “So you’re done with me, then? Is that what you’re trying to tell me? Because I prefer direct. If we’re done fucking, you can just say so.”
We had a mini stare off, and I knew I was pushing his tolerance to the max. I also didn’t give a flying shit.
“Seven o’clock,” he said. “I’ll come by your place after my last class.”
“I work day shift until eight tonight. I’ll come to your place after.”
I had no idea what had possessed me to say that. Why would I want to drive from Manhattan back to Brooklyn upset in the middle of the night? But my emotions felt so uncontrollable, I’d grasped for anything to have some semblance of control.
“Fine. But I’ll pick you up. I don’t want you driving at night tired.”
Surprisingly, the rest of the day flew by. O’Leary’s was busy, and working with Charlie rather than Ava meant I didn’t have to talk about my life all day long. A little before seven, I was in the rear of the adjoining dining room talking to a couple who were regulars when my attention was diverted. I spotted Caine walking in. My heart started to race.
I was fooling myself trying to pretend I wasn’t going to be hurt when he reminded me what we’d had was purely sex. All the logic in the world couldn’t stop my heart from falling.
After I checked in on my tables and let the last straggling customers know they’d need to settle up at the bar, I went over to Caine. Charlie was standing nearby.
“You remember Caine, Charlie, right?”
Charlie extended his hand. “The Professor. West, right?”
Caine shook. “That’s right.”
“Got a middle name?”
Caine’s brows furrowed, but he answered anyway. “I do. Maxwell—my father’s name. Why?”
Charlie eyed me. “No reason. Just like to know who my girl is spending time with.”
I rolled my eyes. “Ignore Charlie. He was a cop for twenty years. Everyone’s a suspect until they’re proven innocent. I’m going to go change. I’ll be right back.”
The car ride to Caine’s was quiet and awkward. Since the way he handled the stick shift stirred me in places I didn’t want to be stirred, I spent most of the time looking out the window. When we arrived at Caine’s building, he came around to open my door, but I was already halfway out. He frowned and took my elbow to help steady me as I lifted from the tiny, low car. More silence ensued on the elevator up to his apartment. It wasn’t until we were inside that either of us spoke.
“Can I get you something to drink?”
“I’ll take a water.” I kneeled to greet Murphy, who seemed to sense the tension between us and actually listened when Caine snapped at him.
“Down, boy.”
Caine brought me a bottle of water and himself a glass of red wine. Again, I was staring out the window. I’d had the entire day to think about what I was going to say, but since the time had come, all my pent-up anger and frustration had disappeared. I was just sad and felt defeated and tired.
I sighed and continued to stare off into the city lights. “I didn’t invite Davis to come to O’Leary’s. We didn’t have plans or anything.”
“I know.”
My eyes moved to Caine in the reflection. He stood behind me. “How do you know?”
“Because you wouldn’t do that. You’re not the type of woman who hops out of bed with one man in the morning and goes out with another.”
I turned to face him. He didn’t back up or give me any room. “So why did you leave, if you knew that?”
He looked me straight in the eyes. “Because you’re better off with him than me.”
My slumped shoulde
rs squared. “You have no say in who I’m with. You can’t just pass me off to someone else when you’re done.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, Rachel.”
“You know what? Screw you.”
“Rachel—”
His tone was a warning. But I was the one who should’ve been warning him. Because suddenly, I was infuriated. My frustration had morphed into anger. It pissed me the hell off that he was standing there so calm. It wasn’t fair that he wasn’t upset. I needed him to be hurt like I was.
“Don’t Rachel me! You’re right. I am better off with Davis. At least he’s honest with me about how he feels. And he was pretty good in bed, too.”
Caine’s jaw clenched. “Are you done?”
“No, I’m not done. I’m just getting started. I think I’ll fuck beanie boy, too. Maybe he can draw some better nudes after seeing the real thing up close and personal.”
His voice was tight. “Now are you done? Because if you’d shut the fuck up for a minute, I’d like to get a word in edgewise.”
My eyes widened. “Did you just tell me to shut the fuck up?”
Caine’s head lowered so we were eye to eye. He spoke through gritted teeth. “I don’t want to hear about you fucking other men. So, yes, shut the fuck up for a minute already.”
“I will not. I can—”
Caine cut me off with a growl and then…his mouth crushed to mine. My gasp of shock was swallowed up by his kiss. His hands came up to cup my cheeks, and he growled again as he tilted my head to where he wanted it, deepening the kiss. My gut reaction was to fight, push away from his grip and run in the opposite direction. But that thought fled the second his tongue scooped inside and found mine. Instead, I kissed him back with all the pent-up anger inside me.
My arms wrapped around his neck, and I tugged at his hair as I clung to him. Caine gripped my thighs, lifting me off the ground as he backed me against the cold glass window. He guided my legs around his waist and groaned when he pressed between them. The sound made everything else disappear.