“Jack,” I whispered as he laid a soft trail of kisses from my breastbone up to my collarbone.
“I’m giving you my heart again, pixie. And I’m not leaving here without yours,” he murmured against the curve of my neck. “You know why?”
“Why?” I breathed.
He planted soft, closed-mouth kisses up my neck and along my jawline. “Because I love you more than you can imagine.”
I drew in a sharp, stuttered breath and tried not to sob as I replied, “I can’t imagine loving anyone more.”
His lips landed softly over mine as his left hand cradled the back of my head and his right arm tightened around my waist. He lifted me slightly and scooted me up so my head was lying on the pillow. My bathrobe fell open as he positioned himself between my legs, propping himself up on his elbows so he could gaze down at me.
“You’re so fucking beautiful,” he said, brushing wisps of hair out of my eyes.
I wanted to tell him. I wanted to blurt it out before I could stop myself. But I couldn’t look into those blue eyes, the eyes that cried a thousand tears when Junior died, and rip his heart out. Again.
I had never known what it meant to hate yourself. I often wondered if people who hated themselves were just exaggerating. They didn’t like themselves, maybe. But hate? It seemed impossible to hate the person you were.
Now I understood. I hated me.
I didn’t deserve Jack. But Jack didn’t deserve to have his heart broken if I told him the truth. It was a catch-22 that would torment me for as long as I kept this poisonous secret. And I would deserve every single second of that torment.
“God, you smell so good,” he growled into my ear as I wrapped my legs around his hips.
My arms folded around his shoulders, squeezing him so tightly I could hardly breathe. Clutching him like a tightrope between two high-rises. Yet, it wasn’t tight enough.
I wanted to envelop him in my arms, to press myself into him so hard, there would be no distinguishing where he ended and I began.
He chuckled as I squeezed harder. “I missed you too, pixie.”
I shook my head as I pressed my lips to his ear. “I don’t ever want to lose you again,” I whispered through tears.
He managed to pry himself free enough to look down at me. “You’re not going to lose me,” he replied fiercely. “I know I haven’t been there for you. Both of us were just existing. We weren’t living. But I don’t want to just exist with you anymore. I want to exist in you.” He placed his heavy hand over my heart. “Just your heart and mine. For better or worse.”
My skin tingled as his fingers skimmed over the sensitive skin covering my ribs, landing beneath my breast. He brushed his thumb over my nipple, smiling as the flesh pebbled at his touch. He slipped his index finger in his mouth, then traced a tight circle around the nipple before he blew on it softly. I shivered at the coolness of his breath.
An obscene smile curved across his face as he pinched the firm flesh, a soft gasp rolling off my tongue. He knew what he was doing. He was toying with me. Soon, I would be begging for him to finish me. Only then would he strike the match, setting my blood on fire.
And, oh, how I craved those flames.
He cupped my breast in his hand, gentle at first. But as soon as he had my soft flesh in his hand, a shadow fell over his chiseled features. That dark longing that never faded, no matter how vicious we were to each other. His desire to claim me, and my need to be claimed, would probably never die.
At least, I hoped it wouldn’t.
He licked my nipple lightly at first, a ghost’s touch. Then, without warning, he took it into his mouth and sucked hard. I moaned as I felt a deep pull, like a thread of lust connecting my nipple to my center. Each time he sucked, my pussy clenched around nothing.
He put my nipple between his teeth and tugged gently before he pulled away. “What do you want me to do to you?”
My chest heaved as each breath came more shallow than the last. “Fuck me, Jack. Please.”
The begging was sincere, even if I was fully conscious of the fact that nothing got Jack harder than my desperate pleas for his cock.
He leaned in, his mouth hovering over mine as his hand slid between my legs. “How badly do you need me inside you?” he murmured against my lips as he traced his fingers along the crease where my thigh melted into my swollen lips.
My hips rose from the mattress, seeking his touch. “So bad,” I breathed. “So, so, so bad. Fuck me now.”
My body trembled as my anticipation multiplied. The throbbing between my legs swelled to a painful ache. At this rate, I would orgasm before he laid a finger on me.
He cupped my mound, the tips of his fingers pressing into the flesh around my opening, but not penetrating. “This.” He slid his middle finger inside me. “Is.” The heel of his palm ground against my clit. “My pixie.” He slid a second finger inside me. “My precious.”
I threw my head back with laughter, so I didn’t see it, I only felt it when Jack slid down and put his hot mouth on my center. I gasped as he ran his tongue along my slit and up to my swollen bud.
My body tensed as a horrifying thought crossed my mind. Would Jack be able to taste Isaac on me?
I grabbed tufts of his dark hair and yanked him up hastily. He laughed as he climbed up, but I quickly pulled his mouth to mine to silence him.
“Just fuck me, Jack. Fuck me now, and fuck me hard.”
His eyes searched mine, though I didn’t know what for. As I reached down to unfasten his jeans, a slow smile curled his lips, his blue eyes glittering with mischief.
He pulled my hands off his pants and pinned them to the mattress on either side of my head. “I will fuck you. And I will fuck you hard. But I will not fuck you now. I will fuck you when you’re good and ready.”
“Believe me, my body is ready,” I assured him.
He chuckled. “You know how much I love hearing you beg. But how about instead of telling me… show me.” He moved over so he was no longer on top of me. Now he was lying on his side, his head propped up on his hand. “Touch yourself.”
I breathed an internal sigh of relief as I slid my hand between my legs. I was not at all surprised to find that I was soaking wet, but I was surprised to find some slight irritation. Closing my eyes, I slid my finger out of my pussy and rolled it gently over my clit.
“That’s it, baby,” Jack leaned in and murmured in my ear.
I was so swollen and ready to be touched, I exploded within seconds. As he finished unfastening his jeans, he grabbed my hand and slid my fingers inside his mouth. He slurped up my arousal like a piece of juicy fruit. Then he kissed me. Hard.
I could taste myself on him, but I couldn’t taste anything else unfamiliar. Maybe I was blowing the whole thing with Isaac out of proportion. Maybe the moisture I’d felt between my legs as I leaned over the toilet was my own.
His tongue played with mine, our own private mating dance that no one else knew. I could hardly breathe as the longing to feel him moving inside me grew into a suffocating need. I needed him like I needed air.
Without warning, he got out of bed and began undressing. My heart raced as I watched him do this thing I’d seen him do a million times. It felt so brand new, yet still so mine.
I slipped my arms out of my robe and discarded it over the side of the bed. Jack sat up on the bed with his back against the headboard. I helped him slip a pillow behind his back.
“Come here,” he said, signaling for me to sit in his lap.
I stared at his erection for a moment, so smooth and thick and exactly the right length. Every nerve in my body sizzled with excitement. Pushing myself up on shaky limbs, I crawled on top of him. I straddled his thighs and his nostrils flared as I swayed my hips back and forth, leaving a trail of my scent over his skin.
He grabbed my waist and pulled me forward, until his cock was pressed against my abdomen. I grabbed the base and stroked the shaft, savoring the wild look in his eyes. I began to slide down to ta
ke him in my mouth, but he stopped me.
“Fuck that. I need to be inside you.”
Without warning, he picked me up and slid me onto his cock. A loud shriek pierced the air and echoed around us. Letting out a dry laugh, he pulled me toward him as I moved up and down. He laid slow, seductive kisses along the valley between my breasts, finding his way to my clavicle, tracing his tongue along the bone to my shoulder. All the while, I used the headboard to steady myself as I screwed him into oblivion.
My hips swayed, rolled, rocked, bobbed, they did everything and anything he wanted as he kissed my mouth, my neck, my shoulders, my breasts. Every part of me rubbed raw by the rasp of his stubble. Every breath I inhaled filled with the warm, distinctly male scent of his skin.
My desire dripped from me, a silky mess that covered his cock. He reached between my legs and softly pinched my clit between two fingers. I gripped the top of the headboard and moaned as he stroked me up and down.
“Oh, fuck!” I breathed. “I’m gonna come.”
“Kiss me,” he hissed.
And I did. I kissed him deeply and madly. As our bodies trembled in the final throes of orgasm, I held his face and kissed him as if it were our last kiss.
When I pulled away, as his erection twitched inside me, I leaned my forehead against his as we both attempted to catch our breaths. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me close. He held me tightly. So tightly. The way I wanted to be held. The way I needed to be held. And as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and buried my face in his neck, I began to lose sight of where I began and he ended.
With tears streaming down my face, I made a silent wish that somehow I would make the Earth spin in the opposite direction. I would turn back the clock so I could hold Junior one more time, and stop myself from making so many stupid mistakes. I imagined myself being pressed into the earth by the force of gravity as the world spun out of control beneath me. Then, Jack showed up and everything stopped. Time stood still and I could breathe again as the Earth released its merciless grip. I didn’t know much, but I knew if I asked him to, Jack would change the laws of nature for me. I had to be willing to move heaven and Earth, and the truth, for him.
I had to wait. I had to talk to Drea and ask her, beg her to tell me what I should do. I had to talk to Isaac and explain that, as beautiful and kind as he was, and though the chemistry between us was very real, I could never love anyone but Jack.
But before I did any of that, I had to take my morning after pills. And in a few days, I would take a pregnancy test, just to eliminate any future surprises.
If I wasn’t pregnant, I would tell Drea everything and ask for her advice.
If I was pregnant, by some cruel and ironic twist of fate, I would have no choice but to tell Jack everything.
Until then, I would savor these moments with him. I would hold him every chance I got. I would tell him and show him how much I loved him. I would do everything I should have been doing for the last two years.
And maybe if I held on tight enough, maybe nothing would ever tear us apart again.
Once Jack and I had packed my things and he’d thrown everything into the back of my SUV, he decided to make a run to the drugstore to get me some Dramamine. He didn’t want to take any chances with my safety, and the Dramamine would quell my nausea long enough for me to drive the Tesla home. As soon as I saw his truck disappear around the corner, I scrambled to the mailbox at the curb and opened it up. It was empty.
There must have been a problem with the order. I ran inside and found my phone on the freshly cleaned kitchen counter. Opening my Postmates app, I saw a notification that the order had been canceled. I opened my text message app and, sure enough, I had multiple text messages from Postmates.
Postmates:
We’re sorry, but company policy requires that an adult be present to accept delivery of certain medications. We are attempting to call you. Please let us know if you would still like to place this order.
Postmates:
We’ve tried contacting you and received no response. If we do not hear back from you in the next few minutes, your order will be cancelled.
Postmates:
We apologize for the inconvenience, but your order has been cancelled. Please try again later.
I stared slack-jawed at the messages as I realized I was officially fucked.
Preorder Bloom (the final book in the Evergreen Series) on iBooks, Nook, Kobo, or Google Play.
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More swoony and angsty books to tide you over at cassialeo.com/books.
Also by Cassia Leo
Stand-alones
Black Box
The Heiress
The Story of Us Series
The Way We Fall (Book #1)
The Way We Break (Book #2)
The Way We Rise (Book #3)
To Portland, With Love (Book #3.5)
Shattered Hearts Series
Forever Ours (Book #1)
Relentless (Book #2)
Pieces of You (Book #3)
Bring Me Home (Book #4)
Abandon (Book #5)
Chasing Abby (Book #6)
Ripped (Book #7)
Unmasked Series
Unmasked Series
Power Players Series
Luke (stand-alone)
Knox (stand-alone)
Chase (stand-alone)
ROMANTIC COMEDY
Anti-Romance
Edible: The Sex Tape (A Short Story)
PARANORMAL ROMANCE
Carrier Spirits Duet
Parallel Spirits (Book #1)
Kindred Spirits (release date to be announced)
For more information, please visit
cassialeo.com/books
About the Author
New York Times bestselling author Cassia Leo loves her coffee, chocolate, and margaritas with salt. When she’s not writing, she spends way too much time re-watching Game of Thrones. When she’s not binge watching, she’s usually enjoying the Oregon rain with a cup of coffee and a book.
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