“Wayne!” Sage screamed and pointed at a car that had veered into their lane. “Look out.”
Eric swerved to avoid the vehicle just in time, missing it by inches. His hand came out to steady Sage as he maneuvered back into his lane after the danger had passed. He swore and kept on swearing. In the past he might have questioned the value of his own life, but he’d be damned if another person he cared about was hurt because he failed to protect them. “Are you okay?” he growled.
“I’m fine,” she said breathlessly, “but maybe we should hold off on talking about anything important until we get there.”
“Sorry, I—”
“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault that guy doesn’t know how to drive.” She took several audible deep breaths. “Well, that woke me up.”
Eric hated that his need to clear his conscience had almost gotten Sage hurt. Because I’m turned on and turned inside out. He’d gotten stupid drunk on their kiss and nearly forgotten that all it would take was one touch for her to realize his scar was fake.
One touch could end it all before he had a chance to explain it to her.
Every time she looked at him, he saw the flaw in his plan to keep his two lives separate. What neither he nor Reggie had taken into account was that he wanted Sage to be part of his other life as well. There had to be a way to tell her that would make that possible. She’s right, though—this isn’t the time or place for that conversation. “We’re almost there.”
She laughed nervously. “Good.”
He didn’t like the worried look in her eyes, nor the knowledge that he’d put it there. “At this time of year, the fields around Stonehenge should be colorful. Beyond the surrounding grassland, there are pink pyramidal orchids, sainfoins, even a field of blue scabious.”
“How do you know that?”
“I googled it,” he said with a shrug and glanced at her quickly.
Her smile returned. “Thank you. Did you read how volunteers planted seeds by hand?”
“I didn’t get that in-depth.”
“Reintroduction of native plants was a labor of love for the local preservationists. The ground had been overfarmed. The soil was dry and blowing away. Once the chalk grass took, wildlife began to return to the area. You know you’re doing something right when the birds return. And the insects. The Adonis blue butterfly hadn’t been seen in decades but was sighted there once again in 2008. Although some credit that to the reintroduction of some of the wildflowers. No one knows for sure, though, because nature is all about balance. We often don’t see how, but everything works together in harmony if we let it. Livestock can graze there again because locals took the time to understand and address the real ecological issues. It’s a success story for both humanity and nature.” She paused. “You probably don’t find this as interesting as I do.”
Eric pulled into a spot in Stonehenge’s parking lot. “Sage?”
“Yes?”
Try as he might, he couldn’t not touch her. He ached for her—ached like some smitten teen. Being with her was bringing him back to life, and it felt damn good. He traced her open lips with one of his thumbs. “You are the least boring person I’ve ever met. I love your passion and to look at things through your eyes. Anyone else would have come here and focused on the mystical history of it. You see more.”
“I’m interested in that aspect as well, at least as far as what it says about the people who built it and those who come to see it. I wonder what they were seeking—what visitors still are.” Her breath was a tickle on his skin. “There are skeletons buried around and under the stones. I wonder if they found what they were looking for.”
If anyone had told him that he could be turned on by hearing a woman talk about ancient bones, he wouldn’t have believed it, but she was mesmerizing. Her voice was a soft caress of its own. “What are you hoping to find here?”
She blushed but held his gaze.
He could barely breathe. He knew what she wanted, because his body was throbbing and hungry for the same. He would tell her the truth, but couldn’t it wait until after they had this day together? “Come on, let’s go check out what’s here, then we’ll head to Bath.”
She nodded.
It wasn’t easy to pull away from her, but he sprinted over to the passenger side to open her door. Her hand was back in his a second later. They stood there for a moment simply looking into each other’s eyes.
She licked her bottom lip. “Are you ready?”
Eric lost the battle raging within him and pulled her to him for a rough, deep kiss that left them both shaken. “I am now.”
Hand in hand, they followed the crowd toward a path. As he always did, he kept her on his side without the scar. She was too smart to not realize what it was if he let her have an extended look. “Even if the stones fly up and start circling us, it wouldn’t compare to how good kissing you feels.”
“I agree.” She laughed and leaned against him as they walked. “However, full disclosure: if the stones start flying around, I’ll probably piss myself.”
He echoed her laugh and hugged her closer.
Chapter Eight
Later that day, Sage waved away a waiter’s offer of another glass of wine. Wayne wasn’t drinking, and she was already laughing so hard her sides hurt. He had a way of describing a scene and mimicking the voices of the people involved that brought his stories to life. After a while their conversation grew more serious. She asked him about his family. At first he looked as if he would tell her he didn’t want to talk about them, but then he seemed to change his mind.
“I have two brothers and two sisters. Brett is the oldest. He’s ultraresponsible. He’d drop everything to help any member of the family, but there is a price for his assistance—a long, mind-numbing lecture meant to ensure you don’t make the same mistake again.”
“And your other brother?”
“Spencer is a carbon copy of Brett but in denial about it. Not as helpful. No long lectures, but every bit as determined to prove he is king of the hill. It was exhausting to watch.”
“Sounds like you don’t get along.”
“I don’t see them enough to feel one way or the other.”
“Never?”
“Weddings, funerals. That kind of thing.”
“What about your sisters?”
“I have two: Nicolette and Rachelle, but only one that I see lately—Rachelle. You’d like her. She reminds me of you in some ways.”
Sage held her breath. This was an entirely new side of Wayne; she didn’t want to say anything that would close a door to it.
He continued, “She sees good in everyone—even when there isn’t any there.”
“Did the two of you get close when—when . . .” Sage left the question unfinished when Wayne turned the scarred side of his face away from her again. She sat back in her chair and decided to lighten the mood. “This was the most fun I’ve had on a date in a long, long time.”
The corner of his mouth twitched with humor, and his eyes narrowed. “Not ever?”
She would let him wonder. A little challenge would be good for him. “Well, Allen Bickerby did take me frog hunting.”
“That’s my competition?” He turned her hand over, caressing the inside of her wrist.
“It was really entertaining. We released them all at the end, but we counted our stashes first. Of course, I caught more.”
“Bastard. He let you win just to soften you up.” Wayne leaned in until his lips hovered over hers. “Tell me you didn’t kiss him.”
“Is that any of your business?” she asked playfully, although when he looked at her that way, it was difficult to remember what they were talking about.
His grin was wide and irresistible. “I’m beginning to think it should be.” He traced the line of her jaw. “I don’t like the idea of you with anyone else.”
“I was twelve. And I wasn’t with him.”
He bent closer still. “I still don’t like it.”
“I hear he??
?s married now and already starting to bald.”
“How bald?” he asked with a twinkle in his eyes.
She laughed. “You’re bad.”
“You brought it up. Married, huh? I bet he can’t bounce a quarter off his abs.”
“And you can?” Sage rolled her eyes. This was another side of Wayne—the strutting-peacock one. Was that who he was before his accident? In an attempt at humor, she gave him a once-over, but as she did she realized that he kept the scarred side of his face angled away from her.
“You’re welcome to try later.” The purr was back in his voice.
Rather than answering, she picked up her glass of water and gulped some down. Slow. We’re taking it slow. Her body had other ideas. It was humming for his touch.
A waiter cleared away their plates and offered a dessert menu. They both declined. When the check came, Sage reached for it. Yes, she was short on rent money, but she did have a credit card she kept with her for emergencies.
He took hold of the check. “I have it.”
“No,” she said, not releasing it to him. “You paid for Stonehenge and the Roman baths. Let me get this.”
“Sage, I asked you to come out with me today—I’m paying for the meal.”
“Wayne”—she said his name in the same tone—“I had a great day, and the food was incredible. I want to contribute.” When he still didn’t let the check go, she added, “It’s important to me.”
He lowered his hand then. “Despite how I appear, I can afford it.”
His mood seemed to deflate, and Sage worried that she had embarrassed him. She hadn’t meant to imply he didn’t have the money for the bill. Some men were proud about things like that. She put her credit card down on the check while hoping to think of something to say to make him feel better. “I didn’t warn you about the 5 percent chance that I might be bullish about paying for my meal. This isn’t about you—it’s about me. I don’t like accepting too much from other people.”
He placed his hand over hers. “Because you see it as a form of control.”
Her eyes flew to his. How did he understand her so well? “Yes. My freedom is important to me.”
“I would never clip your wings, Sage. I’d rather fly with you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I’d like that.” Believing him would mean opening herself up to potentially being hurt deeply. Was she ready for that?
The waiter took the bill, then returned it a moment later. Sage released Wayne’s hand long enough to sign the slip and return her card to her purse.
The drive back to her apartment was comfortable and full of light conversation. It was as if neither wanted to risk ruining what had been a perfect day together. He walked her inside, all the way to the door of her apartment. She unlocked the door and held it open behind her.
He leaned in. Sage licked her bottom lip in anticipation. One moment stretched to two. She was tempted to throw herself into his arms. Wasn’t it what they both wanted?
Their ragged breaths mingled.
“Do you want to come in?” she asked, giving in to the temptation of him.
He frowned. It wasn’t the reaction she’d hoped for. “Of course I do, but I can’t do that to you. I’m not the man you think I am.” His hand went back to the side of his face he still had slightly averted. “I’m not yet even the man I want to be, but I’m working on it.”
“You’re already pretty damn wonderful in my book.” She stepped forward and hugged him then, in the same way he’d held her when she’d told him about her parents. His arms wrapped around her tightly. She’d been with men who had seemed to have their lives together, but being with them had lacked the level of connection she felt with Wayne. She felt his confusion and his pain as clearly as her own.
They were two lost souls who found acceptance and comfort in each other. Only with him could she admit to herself that her family’s rejection had left her with a real fear of being abandoned again. A real fear—one that affected how she lived her life and how many people she let into it. Bella had once asked her why she didn’t stay in touch with any of the people she helped. Sage had claimed it was part of the process, but the truth was she walked away from them so they couldn’t walk away from her. In Wayne’s arms, she could face that side of herself without shame. They were both works in progress.
She raised her face from his chest to look at him, and the nature of the embrace changed. Desire darkened his eyes. Evidence of his excitement nudged against her.
“Sage. I’m—”
She placed two fingers over his mouth. She didn’t want to talk anymore. So much of her life had centered on how other people felt and trying to make them happy. She wanted to be selfish just this once. She’d encouraged countless others to take risks and follow their hearts. Her heart told her that this chance might not come again and she would regret not being with him more than whatever consequence the next day held.
He met the kiss halfway. All thinking, doubting, justifying stopped, and there was just him and the way he made her feel. He claimed her mouth like a man who had waited his whole life for the taste of her. She kissed him back with matching fervor.
His hands sought hers and raised them to her sides while he backed her up against the wall just inside her door. She writhed against him, desperate to feel more of him.
Just when she thought they were at the point of no return, he raised his head and pushed back from her. She was grateful for the support of the wall.
“I have to go,” he said, then strode out of her apartment.
She moved away from the wall to the doorway just in time to see him disappear around the corner. She closed the door slowly and hugged herself.
Frustration and embarrassment battered her. She’d never thrown herself at any man. His refusal cut her to the core.
Just as his departure did.
I’m a woman with abandonment issues chasing a man who keeps running away. There is something seriously wrong with me.
Eric was still cursing himself when he parked in his hidden garage. He stormed to the changing area and tore the fake scar from his face, flinging it to the ground. He met his eyes in the mirror and hated the man who stared back at him.
He stripped and stood before the closets of clothing. He didn’t want to be a fucked-up rich man with a fake scar. He put his fist through the door of the dresser that held his nice clothing. In disgust, he began to throw his makeup and prosthetic scars into a trash barrel that he then sent flying with a kick.
“Bad day?” Reggie asked as he walked toward him.
“Who the fuck am I, Reggie?” Eric growled. “I don’t want to be any of these men.”
Reggie looked at the broken door of the dresser, then at Eric’s bloodied knuckles. “I take it your date didn’t go well.”
Eric covered his face with both hands briefly. “It was fucking fantastic.”
“Okaaaay.” Reggie drew out the word. “So, what’s the problem?”
“I’m the problem. How the fuck do I tell her the truth? Which part of the real me could any woman love?” When Reggie opened his mouth to say something, Eric growled, “If you fucking say my money, I may punch you.”
Reggie held both hands up in mock surrender. “Want my opinion?”
Eric sighed and sat on the corner of the sink. “Sure.”
“I don’t think you’re ready to date. You’re still too messed up.”
Rubbing his throbbing temple, Eric said, “Thanks,” with a hefty dose of sarcasm.
“I’m just saying your moods are all over the place. This morning you were all smiles. Now”—he gestured to the broken furniture—“you’re making extra work for me. You might need a little more time to figure this out.”
“This morning I thought I could be with her as Wayne and then, I don’t know, explain everything to her when I was ready. Then we had a perfect day together and I realized how many ways this could go wrong. I don’t want to lose her. I think she’s the one, Reggie.”
“
Oh, shit.”
“I’ve never felt so sure of anything—not even with Jasmine. How long did it take you to decide your wife was the one for you?”
“Not long. I still have no clue why she chose me, but I’m not buying her glasses.”
Eric looked at the three wardrobes in front of him. “How the hell do I explain this to Sage?”
“Didn’t you say she’s a plant psychologist?”
“Yes.”
Reggie made a face. “So she’s already a little—out there.”
Eric tensed. “No, she’s not. She studied botany and uses that knowledge to help people.”
“By cheering their plants up.”
“Fuck you.”
“Hey, I’m not putting her down. In your case, normal probably wouldn’t work. She’s an odd duck. You’re an odd duck. I’ve seen worse matches.”
Eric stood. He was done with the conversation. He opened the broken door of the wardrobe, pulled out a pair of slacks, and stepped into them. “Anything I should know before I head in?”
“Your grandmother came by. She’d heard you were back.”
“Of course she did.”
“I told her you’d call her tonight.”
Eric stopped midway through putting his shirt on. “Why the hell would you tell her that?”
“It’s time, Eric.”
He was right, but that didn’t make the idea of adding a conversation with Delinda to the day sound any more appealing. “I’m already in a shitty mood. I guess this is as good a time as any.”
Reggie pocketed his hands in the front of his jeans and made a face. “I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but go easy on her.”
Eric stepped into his shoes. “Keep talking like that and I’m going to start to think you’re on her payroll.”
“I don’t need money. Living here costs nothing, so I’ve invested my salary every year. And you pay me well. I mean, really well. You’re generous to a fault.”
“Whatever.” It was difficult to tell if Reggie was joking, and, honestly, Eric didn’t care. Reggie could have it all if he wanted. “Anything else I need to know?”