“You're right. A court of law is more merciful than the room of women waiting for me now.”
“Be brave. Our Lord has promised us … ”
At that moment Kamal hurried into the room. He was panting. He gave his sister the containers of cosmetics and told her, “I ran all the way and even up the stairs.”
Khadija smiled and said, “Bravo! Bravo! What did Maryam say?”
“She asked me if we had company… and who they were. I told her I didn't know.”
Concern was visible in Khadija's eyes when she asked him, “Was she satisfied with that answer?”
“She asked me to swear by al-Husayn to tell her everything I knew. 1 swore I'd told her everything.”
Aisha laughed. Her hands kept on with their work as she observed, “She'll guess what's happening.”
Khadija was spreading powder on her face and said, “She wasn't born yesterday. It's not likely that anything will escape her. I bet you she'll come visit us tomorrow at the latest to conduct a thorough investigation.”
Kamal should have left the room then, but he did not want to, and perhaps could not, he was so interested in the scene unfolding before his eyes. For the first time in his life he witnessed his sister's face undergo this transformation into a new face altogether, boasting white skin, pink cheeks, and eyelids with delicate black lines along their edges that enhanced her eyes and made them look splendidly clear. Hisheart rejoiced at this new face. He shouted with exc itement, “Sister, now you're just like those beautiful candy bride dolls Papa buys for the festival of the Prophet's Birthday.”
The two girls laughed. Khadija asked him, “Do you like the way I look now?”
He rushed up to her and put his hand out to the tip of her nose, saying, “If only this would go away.”
She evaded his hand and told her sister, “Throw out this slanderer.”
Although he resisted, Aisha seized his hand, dragged him outside, and bolted the door. Then she went back to her beautifying task. The sisters proceeded with their endeavors seriously and silently. Although it was understood in the family that matchmakers would be allowed to meet only Khadija, she told Aisha mischievously, “You need to prepare yourself to meet the visitors too'
Aisha replied as slyly as her sister, “That won't be until you've been escorted to your bridegroom”. Then she corrected herself before Khadija could speak: “Now that the moon is rising how can little stars be seen?”
Her sister cast her a skeptical look and asked, “Which of us is the moon?”
Laughing, Aisha replied, “Me of course.”
Khadija gave her a poke with her elbow and sighed: “I wish you could lend me your nose the way Maryam lent me her powder.”
“Forget your nose, even if only for this one evening. A nose is like a sore that grows larger every time you think about it.”
By then they had practically finished their work as beauticians. Khadija's interest in her appearance waned. Her thoughts shifted fearfully to her pending examination. She was afraid in a new way, not simply because it was a novel situation but because of its serious consequences.
She soon complained, “What's this meeting that's being inflicted on me? Picture yourself in my place, surrounded by strangers. You don't know the least thing about them or their background. Have they come with good intentions or am I just an amusing spectacle for them? What will become of me if they are abusive faultfinders, like me … huh?” She laughed briefly. “What can I do but sit beside them politely and submissively while they stare at me from left and right, front and back? I'll have to obey their orders without the slightest hesitation. If they ask me to stand, I stand. ‘Walk’ I walk. ‘Sit’ - I sit. Nothing will slip by them: the way I sit or stand, if I'm silent or speak, my limbs and features. In addition to putting up with all this abuse, we must be nice to them and lavishly praise their kindness and generosity. Afterward we still won't know whether we've won their approval or displeasure. My, oh my…1 could curse the man who sent them.”
Aisha quickly replied in a tone that revealed her personal interest in the subject: “May no evil harm him.”
“Don't pray for him till we're sure he's ours… Oh, how my heart is pounding….”
Aisha stepped back to be out of range of her sister's elbow before she replied, “Be patient…. You'll find many opportunities in the future to get your revenge for today's frightful meeting. How often they'll be roasted by the fire of your tongue once you're the mistress of the house. Perhaps they'll recall today's inspection and say to themselves, wish that had never happened.'”
Khadja confined her response to a smile. There was no time for a counterattack. In any case, she would not have gotten the salutary delight from it she usually derived, or any pleasure at all, because she was dominated by her terror and anxiously wavering between hope and fear.
When they had finished their work, Khadija paused to give her reflection in the mirror a thorough examination. Aisha, who was two steps behind her, looked back and forth from the reflection to the original.
Khadija began to murmur, “Bless your hands. I look good, don't I? This is the true Khadija. Never mind my nose now. O Lord, may Your wisdom be exalted. It took a little effort, but everything turned out all right. So why…” Then she realized she had said too much and quickly added, “I ask God's forgiveness. May Your wisdom prevail in everything.”
She rtioved a few steps farther away from the mirror, still examining her image carefully. She recited the opening prayer of the Qur an to herself. She turned toward Aisha and said, “Pray for me, girl”. Then she left the room.
24
WITH THE advent of winter, the coffee hour acquired a new aspect represented by the large stove placed in the center of the room. The family clustered around it, the men in their overcoats and the women wrapped up in their shawls. The coffee hour offered them, in addition to the appetizing refreshments and pleasant conversation, a chance to get warm.
Although Fahmy had been sad and silent for the past few days, he seemed ready to spring some important news on the family. Hishesitation and reflection only served to show how momentous and important the news was. After giving the matter a little more thought he decided to reveal it and transfer the burden to his parents and the fates. He said, “I've got some important news for you. Listen.”
All eyes were fixed on him attentively. He was known to be such a sensible young man that everyone expected his news would be as important as he claimed. He continued: “Mr. Hasan Ibrahim, an officer in the Gamaliya police station, who is one of my acquaintances, as you all know, came to see me and asked me to tell my father of his wish to become engaged to Aisha.”
Just as Fahmy had expected, the news affected people in extremely different ways. That was the reason he had hesitated and thought for so long before revealing it. His mother looked at him with intense interest. Yasin whistled, gazed at Aisha flirtatiously, and shook hishead. The young girl bowed her head out of embarrassment and to hide her face from prying eyes that might detect the turmoil of her throbbing heart. Khadija's first reaction was surprise, which soon turned to fear and foreboding. There was no clear reason for either, but she felt like a pupil waiting impatiently for examination results who hears privately of a comrade's success.
The mother asked with an anxiety inappropriate for the topic of a joyous wedding, “Is that all he said?”
Taking care to avoid looking at Khadija, Fahmy replied, “He began by stating he wished to have the honor of asking for the hand of my younger sister.”
“What did you tell him?”
“[naturally thanked him for his good intentions.”
His mother was not questioning him to find out something. She was attempting to conceal her uneasiness and wished time to mull things over. She began to wonder if there might be a connect] on between this request and the ladies who had called on thern a few days before. She remembered then that one had observed before Khadija had appeared, in the context of a general conversation ab
out the family of al-Sayyid Ahmad, that they had heard this gentleman had two daughters. She had understood then that the)/ had come to see both daughters but had turned a deaf ear to the suggestion. Those ladies had been related to the family of a merchant in al-Darb al-Ahmar. Fahmy had said once that the father of the officer, on the other hand, was an employee in the Ministry of Works. This fact did not decisively rule out the possibility of some link between the two families. It was customary for a family to send marriage scouts selected from one of its branches, not from the bridegroom's immediate family, as a precaution. She dearly wished to ask Fahmy about this point but seemed afraid his answer would confirm her fears, thereby putting an end to the hopes of her elder daughter and bringing her a new disappointment.
It so happened that Khadija posed the question for her mother. She veiled her frustration with a listless laugh as the issue troubling her breast emerged in these words: “Perhapshe's the one who sent those ladies to visit us a few days ago?”
Fahmy replied at once, “Of course not. He told me he'd send his mother to us if his request is approved.”
Although he spoke in a way that inspired trust, he was not telling the truth. He had gathered from his conversation with the officer that the ladies were his relatives. Although he loved Aisha and was convinced that his friend the officer was worthy of her, he was unw illing to cause pain to his older sister. He felt a brotherly affection for her and was very upset at her bad luck. Perhaps the disappointment he had suffered played a powerful role in strength-ening th:s affection.
Yasin guffawed and remarked with childish glee, “It seems we'll soon haye two weddings.”
The mother cried out with heartfelt joy, “May our Lord answer you….”
“Will you speak to Daddy for me?” When the question escaped from Fahmy, he was preoccupied with this engagement, but afterward his words sounded odd to him, as though they came not from his tongue but from his memories. These words plunged into his inner depths, before floating to consciousness again with memories clinging to them. He remembered the comparable question he had addressed to his mother in similar circumstances. Hisheart became dispirited, and his pains were inflamed. He felt once more the tyranny that had buried his hopes. He began to tell himself, as he had done repeatedly during the preceding days, how happy he would have felt about the present, how hopeful he would have been about the future, how content he would have been with life as a whole, had it not been for his father's stern will. This memory made it impossible for him to be concerned about anything but himself. He surrendered himself to the sorrow gnawing at hisheart.
The mother thought for a time and then asked, “Wouldn't it be a good idea for us to think about what I can say to your father if he asks me why the officer requested Aisha specifically and didn't ask for Khadija's hand? Since he hasn't seen either one …”
The two girls both focused their attention on their mother's remark. They both remembered their scene at the window. The annoyance Khadija felt at that memory doubled her unhappiness about the current situation. Her heart protested against blind fate, which refused to reward reckless frivolity with anything but good. Aisha felt her flow of delight obstructed by her mother's observation, as if a throat happily swallowing a tasty and delicious morsel had been obstructed by a sharp thorn stuck in the food. Fear quickly sucked the heart out of the happiness that had been making her spirit quiver.
Only Fahmy rebelled against his mother's words. He was not defending Aisha, as it might have seemed, since on such a delicate issue he could not defend Aisha in Khadija's presence. He was angry because of his suppressed sorrow, about which he could not speak openly with his father. Unconsciously addressing his father in the person of his mother, he remarked angrily, “This would be unjust and arbitrary. Reason and intellect provide no support for such an objection. Don't men learn a lot of things about decent women kept secluded from the street by talking to female relatives, whose only goal is the formation of a legal union between a man and a woman?”
Their mother had meant nothing by her remark. She was merely trying to hide behind her husband until she could discover some way out of the bind she found herself in with Aisha and Khadija When Fahmy voiced his objections to her so frankly, she found herself forced to answer with similar frankness: “Don't you think it would be best for us to wait till we hear something from those women who visited us?”
Khadija could not bear to remain silent. Driven by her pride, which forced her to declare that she cared nothing about the matter at all, despite the anxiety and forebodings struggling inside her, she said, “This is one thing and that's quite another. So there's no reason to postpone one because of the other.”
Their mother remarked in a calm but forceful way, “We're all agreed ttiat Aisha's wedding will be delayed until after Khadija's.”
Aisha could only say, gently and submissively, “The matter's not open to discussion.”
Khadija's breast filled with resentment when she heard the gentle tone of Aisha's voice. Perhaps it was this gentleness that angered her most of all. It may have suggested to her that she deserved to be pitied, which she absolutely rejected. It may also have been that she would have liked for Aisha to declare her opposition openly so she could attack her sister and find some outlet for her anger. Aisha had armed herself with that hateful fake sympathy to defend herself from harm, thus doubling Khadija's resentment, which was lying in ambush, waiting for a chance to pop out. Finally she found herself obliged to say, if a bit sharply, “I don't agree that this matter's not open to debate. It's not fair that someone's bad luck should cause you to destroy another person's good luck.”
Fahmy noticed the angry sorrow concealed behind the altruism of Khadija's words. He wrenched himself free from his personal grief. He regretted what he had said in a moment of anger, fearful that Khadija would interpret it to mean he sided openly with her sister. Addressing Khadija, he said, “Telling Papa about Hasan Effendi's request doesn't mean we agree Aisha should marry before you. There would be no harm in our making acceptance of the engagement conditional on postponement of its announcement to an appropriate time.”
Yasin was not convinced it was right to require one marriage to precede the other, but he could not muster enough courage to express his opinion. He found some comfort in making a general statement that could be understood in different ways. He said, “Marriage is the fate of every living creature. Anyone not getting married today will marry tomorrow.”
Kamal had been following the conversation with interest and at this point his shrill voice rang out, asking unexpectedly, “Mother, why is marriage the fate of every creature?”
His mother ignored his question. The only response he received was a loud laugh from Yasin, who made no other comment. Then the mother observed, “I know every girl will marry today or tomorrow, but there are considerations not to be overlooked___”
Kamal tried asking his mother another question: “And will you be getting married too, Mother?”
They all roared with laughter, and this relieved the tension. Yasin seized the favorable opportunity and found the courage to say, “Present the matter to Father. Whatever he says will be final in any case.”
With a curious insistence, Khadija said, “That's the only way. That's the way it has to be.”
She meant what she said, because she knew how impossible it was to conceal a matter like this from her father and firmly believed her father would not allow Aisha to marry first. In addition to these reasons, she also wished to continue pretending indifference to the issue. Although she did not know of the connection between the officer and the visitors, her anxious forebodings had not left her for a moment.
25
ALTHOUGHMRS. AMINA had encountered more than one cause for unhappiness during her life, she had had no experience with this unforeseen problem and its unique character, since it seemed to pertain to one of the essential foundations of happiness in this world. Even so, in her household and in her heart in particular, it had
turned into a cause for anxiety and distress. How right she was when she asked herself, “Who would have suspected that the arrival of a bridegroom, something we have been avidly awaiting, would cause us all this trouble?” Yet that was what had happened.
Several views struggled for control of her mind without her being comfortable about any of them. For a time she thought that agreeing to let Aisha marry before Khadija would destroy her elder daughter's future. On other occasions she thought that stubborn opposition to destiny would create an extremely dangerous situation, with sinister repercussions for both girls. It also troubled her a great deal to close the door in the face of a bridegroom as splendid as the young officer. It was asking a lot to expect that luck wo aid provide another one as good. But what would Kha-dija's position be and what kind of luck and future would she have if the agreement was concluded? Mrs. Amina could not make up her mind. It was especially difficult since all the prospects seemed so bleak, leaving her unable to find any solution. She was ready to cast the whole burden on the shoulders of her husband and felt relieved, despite the apprehension that swept through her every time she was about to bring up a topic she feared might upset him.
She waited until he finished his coffee. Then she said in her soft voice clearly intended to be polite and submissive, “Sir… Fahmy told me one of his friends asked him to present his request to become engaged to Aisha.”
From his place on the sofa he looked down at her on her pallet not far from his feet. His blue eyes were filled with interest and astonishment. He seemed to be asking her, “How can you be talking to me about Aisha when I've been waiting for news about Khadija since hearing about the three women visitors?” He asked, to make sure he had heard correctly, “Aisha?”
“Yes, sir.”
Al-Sayyid Ahmad looked straight ahead of him with annoyance. Then, as though addressing himself, he said, “I decided a long time ago which order to follow.”