"Saige? Saige, come 'ere!" My mum yells strangely as I topple my chair to get to her.
Staring at the police officer in the doorway, I have a horrible flashback tackle me as I stop dead with fear. "What's wrong?" I croak with my suddenly dry throat.
"We're investigating a missing person’s report as a courtesy to the Midland PD."
"For me?" I ask dumbfounded.
"Are you Saige Masters?" The officer asks as both my mum and I say yes. "An official report was made yesterday at 4:00, 24 hours after your disappearance, but from what I understand due to recent events concerning you, an active search was underway before that."
"What recent events?" My mum asks looking between me and the cop. "What does tha mean?"
"I'm not missing," I change the subject desperately. "I've just been here at my mum's house since Friday night." Holy. Shit. "I didn't realize, um, maybe I should've called. Was it Selena Heart who made the report?"
"I really don't know," he looks down at his notes. "Can I see some ID Miss Masters, then I'll be on my way. I'll let dispatch know you've be found and they'll relay the message to Midland PD."
Nodding, I can't move until my mum actually shoves me. I never thought to call anyone, and I’m so fucking dead for this. God, Selena's going to kill me.
"Here," I hand over my ID to the cop talking in his shoulder radio my name, date of birth, and my driver's license number. Listening to the reply squawking, my mum is silent but her stare is deadly.
"Okay. That's it then. Have a good night ladies, and maybe you should call home to let everyone know you're okay in case Midland PD doesn't relay the message quick enough."
"Thank you. Um, I'm sorry, sir," I mumble embarrassed because I really don't know what to say in this situation.
"Have a good night," he nods walking away before my mother shuts the door.
"Well, that was ex'citin'. Kidnappin' me own daught'er," she laughs. "I guess ye bet'ter make that call on the telly, no?"
"I’m so dead," I mumble walking to the living room phone.
Dialing, my mum leans in the doorway and watches with amusement in her eyes. We'll see how amused she is in about 10 seconds.
"Hello?!"
"Hi, Sel-"
"You. Fucking. Asshole!" She screams and cries at the same time. "Are you alright?!" She keeps yelling.
"I'm fine! Sorry. I'm at my mum's."
"Your Mom's? All the way in New Haven? What the fuck were you thinking?" She keeps screaming and even when I try to explain she keeps yelling over me. "What the fuck have you been doing?"
"Taking wallpaper off the walls," I say stupidly with a flinch knowing she's going to freak again, which she does.
"Wallpaper?! I thought you were DEAD!" She screams loud enough that my mum actually laughs before walking away.
"I'm sor-"
"I thought you were dead, Saige. I've been crying for 2 fucking days thinking you were dead. I imagined the worst goddamn things and I thought I was going to have to identify your body," she cries in a big sob. "Everyone we know has been looking for you. And I- She's alive!" She suddenly screams again.
"Who's that?" I ask quietly but the phone is being muffled like she’s holding it against her chest. "Selena! Who are you talking to?"
"Mike says he's firing your ass tomorrow when he sees you," Selena says hopefully joking.
"I'm so sorry. I just ended up here and my mum and I redecorated her kitchen and it’s been fun," I smile just as my mum plops down on her couch to listen with her plate of food in her lap.
"And you couldn't call?"
"I forgot my cell at your-"
"No fucking shit," Selena cuts me off again. "By the way, I love that Grif is your password," she says calming down a little. "Why isn't your mom's number in your phone? When are you coming home? We've been going crazy, Saige."
Trying to speak I finally jump in when she takes a breath. "Ah, I was leaving in about half an hour, so I’ll be back like 9-9:30."
Exhaling deeply in the phone, Selena says sweetly, "I love you, kiddo. But if you ever scare me like this again, I will never, ever speak to you again. Got it?"
"Yes. I'm really sorry. I just started driving and I didn't think to call. I didn't think you'd be worried-"
"About you? Really? You're living in my house, we have a fight, you leave for a little break you said and I don't see or hear from you again for 2 goddamn days. And you don't think I'd freak out a little? EVERYONE freaked out!" She screams.
"I'm sorry," I mumble again because that's about all I have in me at the moment.
"Get your ass back here so I can yell at you in person. Mikes waiting here for you and I have some calls to make."
"Okay. I'm-"
"Sorry. I know. Drive carefully but hurry the hell up!" She yells one last time before slamming the phone down in my ear. Shiiiiit.
Looking at my mum, she's so amused by all this I want to be mad at her for something. Instead, I exhale slowly and try to fight the adrenaline coursing through my veins.
"Ye didna tell anyone where ye went? Yer a daft cow, Saige," she laughs shaking her head. "Well, come on then. Finish yer supper and get goin'," she rises walking toward her kitchen.
"I'm not really hungry anymore," I call to her back headed for the stairs to get my clothes.
"Get yer crap, then yer finish'in yer supper before the drive," she yells up the stairs.
20 minutes later after a very uneventful goodbye with the promise that I'll be back in 3 weeks, I'm driving away from my mum's.
Still a little overwhelmed by Selena's reaction, and the police, and by the 'everyone' she mentioned, I'm driving a little faster than usual, and I'm thinking a little too much.
But once on the highway, I crank the radio and sing along to Demons by Imagine Dragons to block out thoughts of the impending explosion I'll feel once I enter Selena’s apartment.
God, I'm just desperate enough to hope Griffin is home so I can grab and hug him like a shield from his angry mom when I return.
*****
Pulling into the closest spot to her building, I'm only about 15 car lengths away from the front doors in the dark but that's when I realize I'm still afraid of the dark.
I didn't know I was scared still because I’ve worked my few shifts in the afternoon, and I haven't really left to go out at night before.
But here I am suddenly- scared to get out of my car.
Wishing I had my cell phone to ask Selena to meet me, I work up the nerve slowly with my hand on the door handle. Holding my purse tightly with my keys, I breathe in a quick burst of energy, throw open the door, hit the alarm and start running when I see no one else walking out front.
Running for my life, I see a huge man step onto the sidewalk and I stop so quickly my runners actually skid for a second as the air leaves my lungs on a strangled scream.
"It's just me. It's Malcolm!" He yells with his hands raised and out in front of him. "Saige, its Malcolm," he tries again as I slowly shake my head to clear it.
Looking up at him, he's huge. He blocks out whatever moonlight there is, and he seems to devour the street lights around us.
Shaking, I can't find my voice and he doesn't speak or move toward me. Standing 5 feet away, Malcolm looks like the intimidating bastard I remember and he's scary as shit like this...
Until he smiles slightly and says, "Welcome back."
Whoosh... I lose my air once again.
When he smiles he looks so different. Kind of good looking, but more like safe or something. All the huge and intimidating that goes with his stern face and body disappears to be replaced with a kindness I feel in my soul.
"I'm afraid of night now," I say so suddenly I cringe in my own skin at the confession.
Nodding as his smile fades he asks softly, "Is that why you sat in your car for the last 20 minutes?" 20? I thought it was like 2 minutes while I sucked up the bravery to get out.
"Why are you here?" I ask instead of answering.
"Selena
told me you'd be home between 9 and 9:30, so I was waiting on the steps of her building since 9 in case you were scared."
"I'm afraid of night now," I whisper again to his knowing nod.
This is so weird suddenly, I feel like I'm confessing my sins, or taking comfort in a counsellor as I speak. He doesn't seem surprised by anything I say, and he isn't reacting or saying meaningless platitudes like most people do. Malcolm hasn't even said 'you'll be fine' like everyone else does.
"Would you like me to walk you inside?" He again asks so gently, I'm immediately relieved but saddened for some reason.
Tearing up, I nod my head but don't move.
I feel trapped in the fear of darkness but also completely safe with Malcolm. Stuck in this moment, I don’t know how to move forward.
"You're so big," I mumble stupidly.
"Yes," he replies calmly.
With a quick grin he turns sideways and extends his arm toward the walkway of Selena's building but otherwise doesn't move forward. He's waiting for me and I still can't move into his huge shadow.
Staring, I ask all I can. "Why are you here?"
"I was worried about you, and I wanted to make sure you got home safely."
"How do you know I was away?"
"Selena called me yesterday morning when you didn't come home."
"Do you know why she called you?"
"She was scared to death so she was calling anyone she could think of," he says in a calm voice again mirroring my calm questions. "She wondered if I had heard from you about the gift I sent, and when I told her I hadn't she started to cry. So I pushed her for information and that's when I learned you were missing- we thought," he adds with a huff and the first sign of any emotion other than calm.
"I wasn't missing," I mumble again.
"But we didn't know that, Saige," he waits until I nod silently.
"Um, I should go in. I'm really sorry for this." Walking toward the doors, I add, "I'm sorry you were involved in this."
"No problem," he speaks beside me as we advance on the apartment walkway. "But you definitely owe me a coffee now. I'll pick you up tomorrow after you're finished work."
"But-"
"It's the least you owe me, don't you think?" He grins again and I don't really have an argument for coffee.
"I'll smell like the restaurant," I say so stupidly as an argument against coffee I blush like an idiot.
"That's okay," he grins at my embarrassment.
Opening the main door, I use the key Selena gave me and when I turn to Malcolm he nods me further inside.
"I'm taking you to her door," he continues walking to the elevator.
Once inside, pushing myself against the back mirror wall, I glance at him looking down at me. "You're not afraid of me, Saige," he says as a statement I actually agree with.
When his phone rings, he answers just as the elevator opens. "We're in the hallway," he says as Selena's door is flung open and Malcolm hangs up. Still holding the elevator doors with his hand, Malcolm nods toward Selena to make me move.
"See you tomorrow, Saige," he says as he lets the door close.
"Wait!" I yell at the closed door before I hear Selena call my name.
Turning quickly around, I'm engulfed in a hug so tight I'm nearly suffocated. Looking around her, I see Mike standing in the doorway leaning with a scowl on his face.
"You are such an asshole. I want to beat the shit out of you and hug you, then beat the shit out of you again," Selena moans against me pulling me towards her apartment.
"Hi," I mumble to Mike who hugs me as well.
"I'm glad you're okay, Saige. But wow, you scared the hell out of us."
"I know. I'm sorry. I just didn't think about calling when I was with my mum. We were so busy and time flew by."
Being pulled to the couch by Selena, Mike walks into her kitchen as she stares at me. Not speaking and feeling totally awkward, I attempt to apologize again but she cuts me off.
"I get it. It was just so intense here. You didn't come home after a few hours so Mike and I stayed put waiting. Then night came and we started calling you only to realize your cell was vibrating on the table. Then nothing still. So by 3 in the morning I was freaking and Mike called Tyler to see if he'd heard from you."
"Why Tyler?" I gasp.
"Who else would you go see if you weren't with us? It's not like you have other friends or another ex-boyfriend," she replies like I'm an idiot for asking. "So Tyler drove around for a bit, called me all the time, and Mike called Kyle just in case, though I doubted you'd be with him."
Watching Mike walk toward us with drinks, I gratefully accept mine and chug half the vodka and orange while they drink their own.
"Why did you call Malcolm?"
Huffing, Selena moans, "There was no one else to call. I really didn't think you would, but I wanted to see if you maybe called him to thank him and told him where you were going. I didn't know, but I was desperate, Saige. The police were called at midnight, but they wouldn't do anything about it until 24 hours had passed, even with what happened to you just a few weeks ago," Selena growls. "Anyway, Malcolm hadn't heard from you either, but he was very concerned. He asked questions and kept me updated and tried to find you himself."
"How? He doesn't even know me," I cry out feeling so confused by all this suddenly. Between calling three of the four men I kind of know what the hell did she think I was doing? "I don't understand this. I mean I get you were worried, but why the hell did you get Tyler, Kyle, and Malcolm involved? Where did you think I was?"
"I didn't have a fucking clue, so I called whoever I could," she says angrily. "Tyler, the useless dick, couldn't remember your Mom's maiden name, and I know she changed it after your parents divorced, so unless we drove to New Haven to an address Tyler only vaguely remembered how to get to, we didn't know what else to do. It was this morning when I was talking to Malcolm again that he questioned your family so I mentioned your mom, and he remembered her maiden name was MacTavish right away. It was actually Malcolm who called to tell me the police were contacting the New Haven PD for him as soon as possible."
"How did he know?"
"He knew nothing, Saige- that's the point. No one did. But his friend is a cop so once they figured out who your mom was they sent in the call to the New Haven police. And that was ALL Malcolm. I wouldn't have known what the fuck to do after you didn't come home again last night," she huffs before taking another breath for more. "I was so scared you were hurt again," she cries, gulping back her drink as I reach for her.
"I'm so sorry. I literally just started driving, forgot my phone and ended up at my mum's. I didn't even think to call you because the only person I've ever checked in with was Tyler, and he doesn't care anymore."
"He cares, Saige. Tyler was frantic to find you, too. He called Kyle and together they called some of your old classmates to ask if anyone had seen you. But no one had and there was nothing to do but wait. God, he's such an asshole it was really awkward with him on the phone all the time," she huffs for the hundredth time. "Anyway, I'm glad you're okay. And please don't ever do anything like that again."
"I won't. I just never thought to call, but I will from now on, okay?"
"Okay," she nods taking my hand.
"Where's Griffin?"
"With my mom again."
"I'm so sorry, Selena." Looking at Mike, I apologize as well.
"It's okay. I'm gonna get going though. I'm working the entire 11-11 tomorrow. Have a good night," he leans over to hug me. "And you, get some sleep," he pushes hugging Selena.
"I will," she nods standing but I shake my head for her to sit. Walking Mike to the door, I don't want to apologize again, but other than an 'I'm sorry for all this' I don't know what else to say.
"Are you working tomorrow at 1:00?"
"Yes."
"Okay. I'll see you then."
"Thank you. For everything," I smile as we hug before he leaves.
Closing the door, Selena rises and says si
mply, "I'm going to bed," in a tired, almost sad voice I don't recognize from her.
Feeling totally uncomfortable with her suddenly, I ask the only thing I can think of. "Are we okay?"
"Of course. I'm just tired, Saige. This has been a shit weekend for me. But DON'T apologize again or I'll go mental. Sleep well, kiddo," she adds walking away for the bathroom.
Holy shit. My brain is spinning and I feel so badly for everyone. I really didn't think when I left Selena's without a word.
Thinking of Malcolm suddenly as I finish my vodka and orange I'm so overwhelmed by him, I don't really know what to do anymore. He was so sweet to be here and to help and to just be whatever he was being.
I'm sure having coffee is just coffee, but I don't feel ready for coffee. I mean what's the acceptable timeframe to have coffee with someone after a 4 year breakup? I don't know. But I kind of want to have coffee with Malcolm even though I kind of don't.
CHAPTER 14
Back at work, no one is talking to me about anything concerning me, which I'm both grateful for and weirded out by. Selena was only slightly grumpy with me today before work, Mike was normal-ish when I walked in, and Hershal touched my cheek gently when he welcomed me back. Even Kelsey smiled and said hi only, which again is good, but so weird for her I don't know what's going on.
No one is asking anything, and I'm grateful enough to try to be normal around everyone so they don't start asking.
"Are you excited about your coffee date?" Selena giggles, suddenly much less grumpy with me.
"No. Yes," I admit with an embarrassed grin. "I haven't had coffee with someone since I was 18, so I'm definitely nervous."
"Don't be. Just remember coffee means coffee. He didn't ask you to dinner which means more, and he didn't pick you up at home at 8:00, or for dinner and a movie which means more. He's meeting you here to take you for coffee."
"I know, but-"
"Don't over think, Saige. He's a really nice guy and Its. Just. Coffee," she glares until I nod my head. "Good. Only a half hour to go," she reminds me making me nervous all over again.