‘You’re not the only one.’
She perches on the side of the bath and looks up at me. ‘Do you think he’ll leave Laura?’
‘I don’t know.’
‘Bloody hell. Childhood sweethearts . . . Over. Kaput!’
I glance down at her, unhappily.
‘Will you be able to cope with all the press?’ she asks.
‘What do you mean?’ I sit down on the toilet seat. I don’t like being on a different level to her while we’re having this conversation.
‘Well, you know, Will and Laura are in the papers all the time. They’re one of Britain’s hottest young celebrity couples. The tabloids are going to go bonkers if they break up.’
I look away from Holly and stare at the door. I’m starting to feel quite nauseous.
‘Still . . .’ She nudges me, trying to perk me up. ‘You’ll be William Trust’s hot new American girlfriend. Ooh, it’ll be like a Jennifer Aniston, Brad Pitt, Angelina Jolie scenario!’
‘What? And I’m supposed to be Angelina Jolie? Are you kidding me? Everyone hated her when all that came out! Jennifer Aniston was like a freakin’ saint!’
‘Everyone likes Angelina Jolie now, though,’ Holly says, defensively.
‘Yeah, but that took ages! I can’t believe we’re actually talking about this, anyway. Fancy comparing me to Angelina Jolie.’
‘Well, you do have long, dark hair. And Will looks a little bit like Brad Pitt.’
‘He does not! I think he looks more like Leonardo DiCaprio.’
Holly considers this thoughtfully. ‘Yeah, I know what you mean.’
‘Anyway!’ I snap. ‘I don’t know how we got onto that, but you’re basically telling me that if I break up Will and Laura’s happy relationship, then the whole of Britain will hate me forever.’
‘Not forever, maybe just a couple of years.’
‘Great.’
I go to the track that morning feeling tense and anxious. I don’t know what he’ll be like when I see him again, but thankfully I don’t have to wait too long. Will walks through the doors and momentarily falters when we make eye contact. Then he continues to walk towards me, raising his hand in a half wave at some of the sponsors to his right.
‘Hi,’ he says, meeting my eyes for a moment before looking away. He hasn’t shaved this morning and stubble graces his jaw.
‘You look tired,’ I say, wanting to reach over and stroke his face.
‘Mmm. Didn’t get much sleep.’ He stares down at the table.
‘At least it’s not my fault this time.’ I’m trying to make light of the situation.
‘Yeah, it is.’ He looks up at me and his expression is so troubled that my heart goes out to him.
‘What can I get you?’ I change the subject in the hope that it’ll put him out of his misery.
‘Daisy—’ he starts, but at that moment Gertrude comes out of the kitchen with more breakfast supplies. ‘Just the usual, please,’ he says, folding his arms and glancing around behind him while I put his breakfast together.
‘Here you go.’
‘Thanks.’
He takes his plate and goes to a table, but five minutes later gets up again and heads upstairs to his room. I look over to see he’s barely touched his muesli. I toy with the idea of going to see him, but I honestly don’t know what to say. After weeks of dreaming about him, this has come to a head in a way that I never expected. I don’t want to be the person who breaks Laura’s heart. I don’t want the whole of Britain to hate me. I don’t want to be the other woman. There is no clean way out of this. All I know is that I like him. Really like him. And somehow, somewhere, there’s got to be a resolution.
I want to stay away from the pits during qualifying to allow Will to concentrate, but Holly has other ideas.
‘Come on,’ she says, after the first two qualifying sessions have taken place. ‘Will is quickest, but Luis is ridiculously close. Q3 is going to be really exciting.’
‘I don’t want to distract him,’ I say.
She grins at me. ‘Daisy, are we talking about the same guy? He’s far too focussed to let you put him off! He’s the quickest out there, for goodness’ sake.’
Now I feel a bit silly.
‘Okay, let’s go,’ I tell her.
Will is sitting in his car, watching the television screen above his head, when we arrive. I look through to the other garage to see Luis is doing the same. I stare at the back of Will’s navy blue and silver helmet, willing him to do well. Luis goes out first and, shortly afterwards, the mechanics send Will out. I’m tense as the television cameras follow Will’s lap. It doesn’t matter that he was quickest in the last qualifying session. Any one of the nine remaining drivers could easily swipe pole position in the last lap. And then my head starts to spin and I feel dizzy again. Think of something else, think of something else, think of something else . . .
‘YAY!’ Applause breaks out in the garages.
‘Who? What?’ I ask, glancing up at the television screens.
‘Luis!’ Holly shrieks with delight. ‘He’s on pole!’
My face breaks into a grin. ‘Where’s Will?’
‘Hang on,’ she says, eyes glued to the screen. I look up just in time to see Will beat Luis’s lap time.
‘Pole!’ Holly and I shout at the same time. So that relegates Luis down to second. Another stellar one/two start tomorrow.
The cars roar down the pit lane and turn into the garages. Happiness bubbles over inside me as I watch Will leap out of his car to back slaps from his team-mates. He rips off his helmet and is grinning as he pushes his damp hair back, then he glances my way, before turning his attention to Simon.
‘Simon is going to be so pleased,’ Holly says, watching as the team boss pats Will on his arm. ‘As long as Will and Luis don’t take each other out again tomorrow,’ she adds darkly.
I glance through to Luis’s garage to see him having an intense discussion with his engineer, then I hear Simon’s voice behind me. ‘Maybe you should go the whole hog and grow a beard, if that’s the result you’re going to get.’
Simon and Will are at the nearby catering table. Will shakes his head good-naturedly as he helps himself to a glass of orange squash.
‘Ah, Holly, there you are,’ Simon says. ‘Did you manage to sort out that thing for me?’
‘Er, yeah.’ She looks uncomfortable as she follows him out of the garages.
I turn to Will. He scratches his stubble and raises his eyebrows. ‘Guess I’d better shave before the race tomorrow.’
‘Don’t,’ I whisper, checking no one is in earshot. ‘I think you look really sexy like that.’
He chuckles and looks down at a platter of biscuits.
‘Still no goddamn custard creams, bun tart!’
I spin around to see Luis.
‘My mother would be so disappointed in you.’ He squeezes himself between Will and I. ‘What were you two gossiping about?’
‘Nothing,’ we both say in unison.
‘Doesn’t look like nothing to me,’ he says.
‘Well, if you must know,’ I reply, ‘we were talking about Will not having a shave this morning.’
‘Yeah, what’s with that?’ Luis studies him.
Will shrugs. ‘Just didn’t get around to it.’
‘No girlfriend here to keep you in check, hey?’
Will glares at him and stalks out of the garage.
I give Luis a look.
‘What’s up with him?’ he asks innocently.
‘You don’t want to know.’ I make to leave, but Luis pulls me back.
‘Hey, where are you going?’
‘Back to work.’
‘Stay and chat to me a minute.’
I pause. ‘Okay, what do you want to chat about?’
‘What’s going on with you two?’ He nods towards the door that Will has just walked out of.
‘Nothing,’ I snap, then change the subject. ‘I just saw Simon grab Holly.’
‘What, literally?’
‘No, no, he just wanted to talk to her in private.’
‘Bet she’s pissed off Catalina’s here.’
‘She is.’ I glance at the door. I wonder if I can catch up with Will before he retires to his room again? ‘I’d better get on,’ I tell Luis. But when I walk out into the bright sunlight, Will is nowhere to be seen.
Chapter 16
Holly and I are in the lobby, waiting for the lads to come down. I don’t want to go out tonight, but I heard Will is attending some charity event anyway, so I need something to take my mind off him.
The lift beeps to announce its arrival. ‘Here they are,’ Holly says. ‘Hurry up! You take longer than us to get ready!’ she shouts as they pile out of the ornately carved golden lift doors. I start when I see Will with them, wearing a slim-fitting, expensive-looking black suit with a white shirt.
‘What are you doing?’ I ask in surprise. ‘Aren’t you going to some event tonight?’
‘Yeah, I am. I’m just waiting for Simon.’
‘Oh.’ The disappointment is even more immense after that little spark of hope.
‘Nice dress,’ he comments.
‘Thanks,’ I answer absent-mindedly. I’m wearing a red dress with a hemline that falls just above my knee. Everyone starts to move outside to the waiting cars. I stay where I am, reluctant to leave Will.
‘Hey,’ he says quietly, ‘we still need to talk.’
‘Mmm.’ I look at him, then glance awkwardly after the others. ‘Are you sure you can’t come with us?’ I ask quickly.
‘No.’ He shakes his head. ‘I don’t think I’ll be out late, though. What about you?’
‘Um, I don’t know.’ I see Holly looking back at me through the enormous lobby windows as the lads pile into the waiting cars. I feel horribly on edge.
‘I could text you when I get back? See where you are?’ Will suggests.
The weight lifts off my shoulders. ‘That’s a good idea,’ I say, breathing a sigh of relief. ‘I’d better go.’
‘Okay.’ And then he ever-so-lightly traces his thumb down my bare arm, making the hairs stand up on the back of my neck. I look around nervously to make sure no one saw and then hurry outside to join the others.
The wait for that text is torturous.
‘Why don’t you just go back to the hotel?’ Holly snaps eventually. She’s not very impressed with me. She knows my mind is on other things.
‘Maybe I should.’
‘Go on, then.’ She waves me away as I slide out of the booth we’re sitting in.
‘Sorry,’ I apologise, but she doesn’t answer.
I’ve been checking my phone constantly for the last two hours, but haven’t heard anything from Will. There’s every chance he’s changed his mind and doesn’t want to see me after all, but I’m trying not to think about that. I just want to see him, to find out where his head is at. There’s so much we need to talk about.
I get back to my hotel room and pace the floor, then lie down on the bed and turn on the television. I can’t be bothered to change out of my dress. I flick through the channels until I come across The Beach. Leonardo DiCaprio with his top off, that should take my mind off things, right? But no, it doesn’t.
When I hear a key turn in the lock after forty-five minutes, I sit up, startled. But it’s just Holly arriving back.
‘You’re early?’ I say.
‘Yeah.’ She doesn’t look that happy. ‘He hasn’t texted you, then?’ she asks wryly.
‘No, not yet.’ What if he’s not going to?
She comes in and kicks off her shoes. Suddenly there’s a knock at the door. She turns back to answer it.
‘Oh, hello!’ She sounds surprised.
‘Is Daisy there?’ I hear Will ask, and I sit upright in bed.
He’s here!
‘I was wondering if she knows where my team shirts are.’
‘Sure you were,’ Holly says wryly, stepping aside to let him pass.
I stand up and give her an annoyed little look for making Will feel uncomfortable. ‘Do you want me to come and have a look for them?’ I ask.
‘Sure, if that’s okay.’
‘She knows,’ I say to Will once we’re in the lift.
‘She knows?’ he looks at me in horror. ‘You told her?’
‘Yeah,’ I say nonchalantly. ‘She won’t tell anyone.’
‘You told her about me, yet you won’t even tell her who you used to work for?’
I shift on my feet. I actually feel quite guilty that Luis knows about Johnny when Will doesn’t.
He doesn’t say anything else, though, and soon we arrive at his room.
‘Have you really lost your team shirts or was that just an excuse?’ I ask.
‘The latter,’ he says bluntly, unlocking the door.
‘I thought you were going to text me?’
‘I forgot to charge my phone.’
His suite is messier than it was yesterday evening. Clothes are trailed across the bed and sofa.
‘Couldn’t you decide what to wear tonight?’ I ask him as I survey the scene.
‘Er, no, I just couldn’t find my shirt.’
‘You shaved, then.’ I glance at his face.
‘Thought I’d better.’
Shame. I twirl my hair around my fingers and stand there, waiting for him to say something.
‘Sit down, sit down,’ he says eventually, bundling up the clothes from the sofa and chucking them through onto his bed. ‘Actually, I’m just going to put on something a little less poncey.’ He goes into the bedroom and returns a short while later wearing jeans and a black T-shirt. He sits down at the other end of the sofa.
‘Here we are again,’ I say.
He raises his eyebrows and smiles. ‘Fancy a burger?’
I laugh. ‘No thanks.’
He leans back against the armrest and puts his feet up on the sofa so they’re nearly touching my bum. I’m sitting with my legs crossed. I glance across at him.
‘Comfy, there?’
‘Yeah, not bad.’
I take my shoes off and do the same so I’m facing him, my knees in between his. We’re not touching, but are not far off.
‘How was the do tonight?’ I feel more comfortable sticking to small talk for the moment. I’m sure Will’s the same.
‘It was alright.’
‘You have to go to a lot of those things during race weekends, don’t you?’
‘A fair few. And a fair few when I’m not racing, too.’
‘Is that because your girlfriend organises a lot of them?’ My stomach tenses up.
‘One of the reasons.’
‘Have you spoken to her about any of this?’ So much for small talk.
‘No.’ He frowns. ‘Not yet.’
‘Not yet?’
‘I’m not going to cheat on her, if that’s what you’re asking. Not that I expect anything to happen between us,’ he hurriedly adds. ‘I just mean . . .’
‘I know what you mean.’
He sighs.
‘Was she your first girlfriend?’
He nods. ‘Yeah.’
‘You’ve never been with anyone else?’
‘Well . . . You’re going to think I’m a bastard, but I was unfaithful to her, once. I told her about it,’ he hastens to add. ‘And she forgave me. Well,’ he humphs, ‘only after she’d got me back by sleeping with someone else.’
That’s a bit feisty of her. I wouldn’t have expected her to have it in her.
‘Who did you cheat on her with?’ I ask.
‘She was just a girl,’ he replies. That’s not very specific, is it? ‘I haven’t done it since.’
I stare across at him and then ask a pertinent question, ‘Are you going to end it with Laura?’
He meets my eyes before replying, ‘I guess that depends on you.’
‘Me?’
He shakes his head. ‘I don’t even know how you feel about me.’
I lean my head against the
sofa, coyly. ‘I can’t believe you can’t tell.’
My knees fall to one side so they’re resting against his. He closes his other knee in on me so we’re lying there, intertwined. I’m all jittery inside. He reaches over and takes my hand, pushing his fingers through mine. It’s blissful, like I’m experiencing my first high school crush all over again.
We lie there in silence for a moment, just staring at each other. An image of Laura’s face flicks through my mind and I feel a twinge of guilt before pushing it out again.
Eventually I sit up and he does, too. I tuck my legs back underneath myself and move closer to him on the sofa, so my knees are touching his left thigh. He casually rests his right ankle on his opposite knee and takes my hand again, looking at me sideways. I sit there and let him trace his forefinger in circles on my palm.
‘Do you remember when I fell off my scooter?’ I ask, smiling.
‘Mmm.’ His tone is wry.
‘You held my hand, like you’re doing now.’
‘Did I?’
‘Yes. That was the moment I fell for you.’
‘Seriously?’ He raises his eyebrows in surprise.
‘Yep. Instantly.’
‘Huh.’
‘What about you?’ I ask.
He thinks for a moment. ‘I think it was at your nonna’s place. When you came out of the house wearing that green jumper. It matched the colour of your eyes, and you had your hair down . . .’
I gaze across at him, but his expression changes and he looks away. His grip on my hand goes limp.
I take my hand away and move back a little on the sofa so I’m no longer touching him. ‘Do you want me to go?’ It’s like déjà vu, this.
‘No,’ he replies, looking across at me with regret in his eyes. ‘But I think you should. You know, until I sort it out with . . .’ His voice trails off and I’m glad he doesn’t say her name.
‘Of course. I understand.’ I get to my feet and walk to the door. ‘Good luck for the race tomorrow,’ I say as he stands up and comes to the door.
‘You’ll see me in the morning.’ He smiles ruefully.
‘Okay, well, night.’ I reach for the door handle, but he leans against the door, folding his arms and staring at me.
‘What?’ I ask.
‘Maybe we should have a goodnight kiss . . .’
I don’t speak, just stare at him, and my silence appears to be all the encouragement he needs to move forward and take my face in his hands.