“I know, and I love you for it, Rach.”
Chapter 33
-Ledger-
I’d been dragging through work as if the shovels weighed a hundred pounds, and we were digging through cement. I was sure my grumpy boss had noticed. I knew damn well that I had to push aside my mood and work harder or risk losing the job. But it was tough.
Mike was a welcome sight standing up on the pier. He’d already locked up the bikes for the day. He glanced my direction and pushed his sunglasses up on his head. “There you are. Haven’t seen you in a week. What’s new?” He stopped and watched me walk toward him. “Why are you walking like a kid who just had his bike stolen?”
I reached him.
“Uh oh, something’s up. I knew it. I was feeling it in my bones. What happened?”
“You got a minute? It might take some time to explain.”
“Sure do.” He limped over to the bench and waved his hand over it. “Step into my office.”
I walked over, sat down and stretched my legs out in front of me. The ocean breeze and the site of the seagulls flying over the water always had a healing effect. I was going to miss it.
“I came by to tell you I’m moving inland next week. The rents are cheaper and most of Frank’s work is that direction. My truck is about ready to take its last breath as it is. The commute is only pushing it closer to the grave.”
“Sorry to hear that, Ledger. I really enjoy our talks.”
“Me too, Mike. I badly needed a friend, and you filled that spot perfectly.”
He hesitated, but I knew what question was coming next. “What about Jacy?”
“She’s another reason I’m leaving the beach. I think she’d be more at ease if I wasn’t around.” I smoothed my fingers over my beard. “I wasn’t being completely honest with Jacy. Now she knows everything. It’s over. I never deserved her anyway.”
“Nonsense. What were you keeping from her?”
“I came to Rockwood Beach with a purpose. I wanted to meet the woman I fell in love with while I was in prison.”
Mike tilted his head and looked at me. “I’m not following.”
“Her ex-husband was my cellmate. For two years I listened to stories about his wife.”
“Ah, I see. And you fell in love with the woman in the stories.”
A seagull landed on the railing directly in front of us. Mike reached into his pocket and pulled out a bag of crackers. “This is Jo Jo. He visits me every afternoon for his crackers.” He held out a cracker and the bird plucked it from his fingers. “So you came to Rockwood Beach to see if the woman you’d imagined actually existed. And, I guess it’s easy to assume that the real woman was even better than the one in your mind.” He continued to hand feed the bird.
“You understand me too well. Yes, Jacy is unbelievable. I’ve never met anyone like her. There were times when I’d think James, that’s her ex, was just making her up. I thought there wasn’t any way a woman like her could exist, let alone be married to an asshole like him. But she was real. Very real. And just as amazing as he’d described. For a long time, I listened to his stories with envy, but I never thought about finding her, or meeting her.” I pulled my feet toward me and leaned my arms on my thighs. “But the more I got to know the man, and the more stories he told, I realized she’d been through hell with the guy. My heart broke for her as I learned that not only had he abused her physically, but he’d caused the death of their newborn baby girl.”
Mike’s face whipped toward me. “Jacy had a daughter?”
I nodded. “James was drunk and knocked over the bassinet.”
He flopped back against the bench. “Poor kid. I could tell she’d been through a lot but I had no idea.” The bird, satisfied that the crackers were gone, flew off.
I took a deep breath. “I know it sounds weird, but I came here to meet her, to make sure she was all right. I came to see if she’d learned to smile again or if what James had done had ruined her spirit for good. I came to meet the woman I fell in love with. I hadn’t expected more than that.”
Mike rubbed his chin in thought. “Remember the day we met and you told me I should lead with my time in the war, with the ladies?”
“I remember.”
“You should have led with that. When you met Jacy, and you realized this was going to be more than just meeting the woman you admired all those months, you should have told her. I think it might have saved you the pain that you’re both going through right now.”
“As always, you’re right. But it’s too late now. I’ve lost her.”
Chapter 34
-Jacy-
Somehow, I’d gotten through the work day. I had just been going through the motions, propping up polite smiles and short conversations with my customers but I was relieved when it was time to close up. I would get back into my regular life and routine eventually, but I knew it was going to take some time. Everything had been going smoothly. Yes, I had been alone and still dealing with molasses mornings, but I was all right with that. Then, I went and messed it up by throwing my trust and my heart to someone who I never really knew. I wouldn’t make that mistake again. And I was determined to stop thinking about Ledger . . . eventually.
I’d changed up my usual morning routine of walking toward the pier with Rex. We’d started walking the opposite way, just to avoid Bombay Cottage. I didn’t want to run into Ledger. I worried that seeing him would weaken my resolve to stay clear of him for good.
I parked my car and climbed out. Heavy clouds had dropped rain intermittently, and the seagulls were doing their usual nervous dance around the shore, squawking with alarm to let everyone know that there was a storm at sea. It was the perfect afternoon to stay inside and work on purchase orders and read a book. It wasn’t an exciting life, but solitude was a lot easier and less complicated than the alternative.
Rex barked and came running out to greet me. His black coat was wet. “What on earth? Why are you outside?” While I was at work, Rex stayed inside to wait for my return.
I quickly went through the morning in my head. Occasionally, Rex would hang out in the yard while I got dressed. But not today. I was sure of it. We’d gone on our walk and then Rex had trotted happily to his pillow to plop down for his long morning nap. I raced around to the back door, the one that overlooked the beach, certain that I’d left it ajar in my morning muddle.
It was closed. I stared down at my dog. He was sitting obediently smiling up at me, letting me know he forgave me for leaving him outside all morning. “Guess I’m losing my mind, Rex. I hope you weren’t terrorizing the lizards and birds too much.”
I unlocked the back door and went inside. Rex stayed on the back stoop, wagging his tail. But it wasn’t a happy wag. “Come on, I’ll give you a treat to make up for the rough morning.”
Reluctantly, he got up. Then he rushed ahead toward the kitchen to wait for his bone. I dropped my stuff on the small table behind the couch and heard Rex growl.
“So now you’re going to be in a bad mood just because—” I stopped as I rounded the corner into the kitchen. I grabbed the edge of the wall to keep myself upright as the blood rushed from my head. “What—are you—doing here?” I could barely get the words out.
“Is that any kind of greeting for your husband?”
I swayed on my feet. Rex came to sit next to me. “You’re not my husband anymore. I want you to get out of my house.” I took a deep breath. I needed to get a grip on myself. The last thing I wanted was to look weak and scared in front of James. He thrived on weak and scared. “Why are you out already?” I kept the waver in my voice to a low tremble.
“I shouldn’t have been in there in the first place. Dad’s lawyers got my sentence shortened, told them it was cruel and unusual punishment for a man who had to live with the guilt of having accidentally killed his own
daughter.”
I blinked hard. No tears, I reminded myself. No tears.
James leaned back against the kitchen counter. He looked thinner and harsher than I remembered. I wondered how I’d ever fallen for him in the first place. His high school hero persona had masked the real man beneath. “Come on, baby, don’t you think we should at least talk about things?” He pressed his hand against his chest. “I mean, I suffered too. I have to deal with what happened every single day.”
I shook my head. “I hope you’re suffering. I really hope you are.” My throat tightened as my mind shot back to that horrible day. “But there’s nothing to talk about. You can’t be here. I don’t want you anywhere near me. Ever. Get out.”
“Guess I’m in the way, huh?” The cruel, taunting tone I remembered so well had returned. It sent a chill through me. James reached behind him on the counter and my heart stopped, thinking he had a knife or a gun. His hand emerged with a piece of folded paper, a letter of some sort.
“This was shoved under the front door. I noticed it as I climbed through the window. You really should keep those windows locked. You never know who might break in.”
I locked my knees to keep from falling to the floor. There was no doubt in my mind that he was still the same dangerous, conceited monster.
James stared down at the paper. His lips pulled tight with anger as he read the letter out loud.
“Dear Jacy, I just wanted to let you know that I’ll be leaving Rockwood Beach. You had a good, quiet life here, and the last thing I ever wanted to do was disturb that. You won’t have to worry about seeing me again. I wish I’d been honest with you in the first place. I’m sorry. I never came here to harm you or cause you trouble. I came here to see for myself, to prove to myself that angels like you do exist. It gives me hope that I can make something of myself, that I can shrug off all the bad and focus on good. I wish you all the best. Know that I will never forget you. Ledger”
I couldn’t stop the tears from forming.
James’s face was tight when he looked up at me from the letter. “No tears for your husband’s homecoming, but for this sappy mush, you cry? I’m going to go out on a limb, since the name is so damn weird, and assume that you have been fucking my lowlife cellmate. How the hell did that happen? I knew there was something not right with that asshole, always asking about you, only ever listening when I was talking about you.” A sinister laugh shot from his mouth. “I knew he wanted badly just to kill me in my sleep or pound me against the wall, especially after I told him about that day, about how all of it was a mistake and that I didn’t belong in jail with a piece of trash like him.” Another ill-timed laugh. “I was sort of disappointed he never took a swing at me. Not that he’d have had a fucking chance against me, but I wanted him to be stuck in that cell longer. Would have served him right.”
James crumpled the letter up and threw it at me. Rex barked sharply. James grinned meanly down at him. “Still coddling mangy dogs. Especially Cain. He is mangier than the rest. Some things never change.”
“No, they certainly don’t. My god, you’re even worse than when you went in.”
I swallowed back the bitter taste in my throat and took a deep breath to keep from throwing up. James was still in the same fierce physical shape from high school, from his football playing days. If I turned and ran, he’d tackle me. He’d hurt me or worse. I was sure of it.
“Exactly what the hell is going on between you and that lowlife? I have a right to know.”
“When it comes to my life, you have no rights at all.” I pulled out my phone. “I’m going to call the police.”
He took three sharp steps toward me. Rex snarled. “I will fucking hurt that dog,” James said through gritted teeth. “Give me the phone and put that animal outside. I just want to talk.”
I knew James well enough to be worried about Rex. But I held tightly to the phone and blindly searched for the numbers I needed for the police. I walked Rex to the back door with a plan to run, hoping I’d have a better chance once I was outside.
My hand was shaking as I reached for the doorknob. I swung it open. “Run, Rex!” I cried and took off behind him.
I hadn’t heard James creep up behind me. I opened my mouth to scream but his big hand covered it, stifling any sound. He smacked my wrist hard, and the phone flew into the bushes. Rex looked back just as James dragged me inside and slammed the door shut.
I screamed the second his hand left my mouth. No one would hear me. I swung my fists at him and managed to clip his chin, but it only made him yank me along harder. I knew enough not to make him any angrier. He would only get more violent.
He threw me hard on the couch and stared down at me, his nostrils flared with rage.
“So, sweetheart, let’s talk about how you came to know Ledger. Then you can tell me where he lives because I’m going to fucking kill him.”
Chapter 35
-Ledger-
As much as I needed the money, I was just fine with the work day being cut short by bad weather. The truck sputtered and rumbled a few seconds after I turned it off and then finally took its last breath. I climbed out and headed to my door. I had an unexpected visitor.
Rex came bounding toward me. My heart raced ahead as I looked around for Jacy. I’d left the letter under her door this morning before work. I really hadn’t expected to hear from her because of the letter. It was just my way of feeling a little closure. I needed to tell her good-bye.
Rex hopped up on his back legs and pressed his wet front paws against me. I patted him. “Where’s Jacy? Still on the beach. I’ll bet you aren’t supposed to be up here.” I led him along the side of the cottage to the beach side of the house. I stared down at the sand. There was no sign of Jacy.
“Did you get out of the house, buddy? You better head back home before you get in trouble.”
Rex whined softly as if he needed me to understand him. He trotted to the steps, looked back at me and barked.
“Go on, Rex, before the rain starts again.”
The dog didn’t budge. I swept my gaze over the beach and across the hill to Jacy’s house. A chill ran through me that had nothing to do with the stormy weather. I looked back at Rex. He was waiting. He wanted me to follow him.
Adrenaline pumped in my veins as I considered the idea that something was wrong, that Jacy was in some kind of trouble. I followed Rex down the steps. He wagged his tail in triumph that he’d gotten the outcome he hoped for. I ran toward Jacy’s house and hoped to hell that the jolt of worry I felt was for nothing.
Rex glanced back and barked one more time before racing up the steps to Jacy’s house. It looked quiet and dark. I knocked. The door didn’t open, but I heard movement inside. “Jacy, I’ve just brought Rex back.”
The door opened. I knew, instantly, from the pallor of her skin and fright in her eyes that something was wrong. Rex sat obediently next to me but seemed afraid to go inside. “I, uh, I found Rex at my door. Is everything all right?”
“Everything’s fine, but I’ll have to cancel our dinner date. I’ve got a headache.” The waver in her voice and the odd mention of a date sent more adrenaline pumping through my body. I tried to get a look inside, but she held the door open less than a foot.
“Right, the dinner date. No problem.” As she went to close the door, I pushed my foot inside. “Get back, Jacy!”
She gasped and jumped out of the way as I threw open the door.
“He has a knife!” she screamed.
I saw the blade and the hand before I noticed who was holding it. I jumped clear of the tip. It grazed my shirt but didn’t cut me. “Get out, Jacy. Just run!” I lunged at James. Again the blade flashed through the air, but my fist met his forearm as it arced in front of me. He sliced my shoulder before losing his grip on the knife. It took me a second to catch my breath from the stinging
pain.
Jacy ran for the back door, but James snatched her by the hair and circled his big arm around her waist. “Get the fuck out of here, Cain. This is between my wife and me. You shouldn’t even be here.”
The terrified look on Jacy’s face sent a rush of rage through me. I flew at James. My plan worked. Even with blood pouring down my arm, he knew he’d need both his arms to fight me off. He released Jacy. She stumbled out of the way as I slammed into James hard enough to send him onto his ass.
He jumped up fast, that ugly, mean grin I knew too well, slathered across his face. “Oh, I’ve been fucking waiting for this, Cain.”
His fist plowed into my stomach, pushing the wind out of me. There was no time to recover my breath. I caught him off guard with my quick right hook. I heard his jaw snap shut as my knuckles slammed into his chin. My lungs finally filled with air.
He came at me like a fucking mad man with eyes bulging and blood seeping from his mouth. I threw my fist into his chest. He stumbled back, trying to suck in air like a landed fish. I took advantage of his state of shock. I wrapped my hand around his throat and shoved him hard enough against the wall that his head snapped forward and back.
He tried hard to pry my hand off his throat, but my hatred for him made me hold him as tight as a fucking steel trap. His eyes bulged and blood and spit sprayed from his mouth.
I pushed my face closer to his. “You wanted to show her what suffocation felt like? Isn’t that what you fucking told me? Now you can experience her horror firsthand. Only I’m not letting go, even if your lips turn fucking blue.” I clamped my fingers so tightly around his throat my hand was cramping up and growing numb.
I could hear sirens in the distance, and a thin, frail voice behind me as I stared at that asshole in my grip and pictured myself choking the life out of him. But the voice floated through again.