She was trying so damn hard to make me fall in love with my unborn baby. It was cute. Damn. Why did I find that so adorable?
I read her social posts, full of humor about being pregnant and sick. Even though I knew her media team was managing them, they were somehow intimate and sweet. When it came right down to it, I loved everything about her.
Life would have been simpler if I could have gotten over her. It was a selfish thought, I knew. I kept hoping it would happen. And only grew more miserable at the thought of losing her.
As the gender reveal approached, I grew more and more apprehensive. I should have told her months ago when I flew to England to tell her the night I found out about the baby. Now I'd waited too long and found myself conflicted. How did I tell her I loved her now? In a song? Written in the sky? Blurt it out? Take her in my arms and tell her straight out, softly, intimately, I love you.
What if this baby was a boy? She'd get her bonus for having an heir. The Dead Duke would give her Sid's cure and she could walk. We both could. The thought of her leaving me tore me up. How would I live without her? I'd been such a douche.
A week before I left for England, my PI found something in China. He turned up a connection between Bird and Sid's biological mother. He had proof they knew each other. People who reported they'd been on very friendly terms. And something else—Will Bird was adopted. The Dead Duke had been instrumental in arranging it.
We had enough circumstantial evidence now to build a case that Bird was likely Sid's dad. But what we really needed was a DNA test. I held on to the information. I wanted to give it to Haley in person. This was something we needed to discuss.
Damn. This could all fall apart so easily. I had a gut feeling that I had to arrange for Sid to meet Bird. That if they met, Bird would see himself in her. That if I dropped enough hints and laid enough groundwork, he'd realize Sid was his daughter. Barring that…
Hell, I hoped I didn't have to be more obvious.
The gender-reveal party would be the perfect place to bring them together.
On another front, I was still trying to puzzle out how much the Dead Duke was controlling us from the grave. Haley's reaction to being pregnant and her claims that she was as surprised as I was that she'd gotten pregnant seemed genuine. She claimed she'd taken her pills. I'd seen her take them on many occasions. The results came back from the lab—the pills were genuine. Not placebos.
Now, it was true that someone could have replaced one pill, one she'd already taken. But how would they have done that? And why not replace the entire pill card to ensure she got a placebo enough times for it to be effective?
Checking the pills had been a wild goose chase to begin with. Tampering with them had seemed like an improbable plot from the beginning. How could the Dead Duke have assured that Haley would get pregnant? Was she innocent, as she claimed?
The doubt. That damn lingering doubt drove me crazy. I wasn't big on faith. I liked fact.
Haley sent me a canister of Duke of Witham tea as a surprise. Something to remind me of her. And the castle. It was a diligent, if futile, attempt to make me homesick for a place I barely knew.
I didn't care for the stuff. I wasn't fond of tea in general. One evening in early June, a cold, rainy front came through. Though it had been unusually hot the last few Junes, it wasn't odd for June to be cool in Seattle. I was working late, as usual. I sat in my office overlooking Puget Sound, watching the raindrops splashing in the water and decided, what the hell? Now was as good a time as any for a cup of that damn tea.
I made myself a cup and Britished it up with milk. I was trying. I really was. One sip and I was about to lose my resolve to drink it. I was ready to toss it and make a cup of nice dark roast coffee. The aroma of the tea reminded me too much of Haley and how much I missed her. That had essentially been the point.
Jennifer, my office assistant, was working late with me. She'd stepped out for a minute to grab some paperwork I needed. She knocked on the door when she returned. "Boss? Got it."
I waved her inside.
"Something smells good in here." She inhaled deeply. "Is that tea?"
I groused and held up my cup. "It is." I wrinkled my nose. "Haley sent it over for me from the castle. She's trying to turn me into a Brit." I nodded toward my coffee machine and the canister of tea sitting by it. "Help yourself."
Jennifer loved tea. She took me up on my offer without hesitating and headed for the machine to make herself a cup of hot water to steep it in. I had half a mind to give the rest of the tea to her. I watched as she opened the canister and took a deep whiff of it.
"Mmmmmm…delicious." She scooped a large scoop of the loose-leaf tea into an infuser and dropped it in her cup. "This is a blend I haven't seen before."
"It's Haley's favorite. She drinks it all the time."
"What is it?" Jennifer was something of an aficionado.
"A special custom castle blend—Duke of Witham tea," I said sourly.
Jennifer laughed and got a look on her face like she was about to tease me.
"Don't say it! Don't even think it," I warned her. "I didn't name the damn stuff. Blame the narcissistic name on one of my predecessors."
"I wasn't going to say a thing, boss." She looked too apparently innocent to be telling the truth. "Just…irreconcilable differences already? A coffee man should never marry a tea gal."
She studied the tea in the canister and finally took a sip out of her cup. "Red clover. It's definitely heavy on red clover. The sweet honey flavor gives it away."
She squinted and smacked her mouth in that way people do when they're trying to figure out what they're tasting. She was trying to guess the secret ingredients. Which was typical for her.
Red clover meant nothing to me. Jennifer was a master gardener. She grew a huge variety of herbs and flowers in her garden. And was a bit of an herbalist as a hobby. She believed in natural remedies and liked to grow her own ingredients as much as possible.
"Makes sense," she said. "England has a lot of red clover." She took another sip. "This really is sublime. A very nice blend."
She was just begging me to ask her.
"Go on." I grinned at her. "You're dying to tell me. Red clover must have some medicinal properties."
She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, it's used for a lot of things." She tried to look modest about her knowledge of plants. And failed. "You find red clover tea in all the good health food stores."
She got a devilish twinkle in her eyes. "Women use it to control symptoms of PMS and menopause. Some even believe it enhances fertility. Which hasn't been proven, I don't think."
She paused. "Unless you're on the pill. You have to be careful with it then. Red clover tea absolutely negates the effects of the hormones in the pill. It's the equivalent of poking a hole in a condom. You'll get rid of PMS, all right. For nine months." She shook her head and laughed softly.
I paled. Shit. Haley drank it by the gallon.
"Riggins? Are you okay?"
"Fine." I stared at my cup of tea as if it were poison.
Or maybe it was absolution. I had no doubt that Haley didn't know there was red clover in the tea. Even if she had, I'd bet she had no idea what its properties were. Why would she? Mystery solved. Haley was innocent on all charges of conspiring to get pregnant. She'd been conned as seriously as I had. But she'd been smart enough to realize the extent of the Dead Duke's manipulation before I had.
I mumbled a string of curses beneath my breath. The Dead Duke had struck again. Damn, that man was diabolical. He couldn't have predicted how much Haley would love that tea. But he certainly could have left instructions to serve it to her at every opportunity. Just in case we'd decided to try to thwart his plans for an heir.
What other snares had the Dead Duke set? That was the question. And how was I going to tell Haley about the tea? How would I apologize for doubting her and accusing her of deliberately getting pregnant?
I couldn't wait to get back to her. I wouldn't say I'd given up fighting the Dead
Duke's will. But I was less certain about fighting fate. If it demanded I love Haley, I would. And suffer the consequences and sacrifices that came with it.
I had to tell her this time. No more letting circumstance get in the way.
I chartered a private jet to take me to England, as usual. I invited Sid along. There was no reason for her to fly commercial when our schedules coincided.
I liked Haley's little sis. As close as she and Haley were, I was sure she knew of the difficulties between us. I expected she would be distant and cold to me. Surprisingly, there was little tension between us. Haley had said that Sid had one of the kindest, most forgiving souls in the world. I was beginning to believe her.
Sid's excitement and awe of flying on a private jet was cute and almost infectious. I'd taken the luxury for granted for a long time. She made me see how lucky I was.
Sid was Sid and full of her usual excited chatter. She talked incessantly about the gender-reveal party and how eager she was to become an aunt. It was hard to resist her enthusiasm.
"Haley's going to be the most perfect mom," Sid said after our dinner onboard the plane. "Look at me! She raised me all by herself since Dad died. And did a pretty good job, I'd say." She gave me her signature sunny smile and a pointed look.
"Good to know she can handle a teenager when the time comes," I said dryly. "But can she manage a baby?"
"You're a tough nut, Riggins!" Sid shook her head and waved a hand at me dismissively. "She's only four years older than I am. But she's been a little mother to me since my parents brought me home."
At the mention of her adoption, I hesitated, feeling guilty for knowing what I did and not sharing it with her. If she was going to be the pawn that drew the truth out, she had a right to know the moves I was about to make. Even before Haley did, I decided. I didn't think I'd get a better opportunity to talk to Sid. She'd handed me my opening.
"Speaking of your adoption…I have something to tell you. I haven't even told Haley yet. We may have found your father."
Her face lit up. She was full of questions. I told her everything I knew, including my suspicions that Will Bird was her half-brother and Bird her father.
When I was finished, she jumped up, threw her arms around my neck, and hugged me fiercely.
"You're brilliant! You're a genius, Riggins."
"I wouldn't go that far," I said. "We don't know for sure. It's just an educated guess—"
She kissed me on the cheek and returned to her own chair, glowing with excitement. "Haley and I have been trying to find the connection for months. She's been playing detective. Or she was until she got so sick."
I nodded. "I know. I wanted to tell her about this latest development in person. Which is why she doesn't know about it yet. It's all circumstantial. The question is—what do you want to do?"
She answered without hesitation. "Meet Bird and Will, of course! As soon as possible. And find out for sure."
I nodded. How could I stop her? If I were her, I'd want the same thing. "Just go carefully around Haley. She'd had you all to herself all these years. If she has to share you with a brother—"
Sid shook her head. "She has nothing to worry about there! She'll always be my big sis."
"Don't get your hopes up too high," I said. "There's still a good chance we're wrong."
"I know," she said soberly. "But this is the closest we've come." She broke into a beautiful smile. "Tell me about Bird. Is he a good guy?"
I shrugged teasingly. "He's a hell of a gamekeeper."
"But as a father?" She looked suddenly uncertain and expectant.
"You'll have to judge for yourself," I said as kindly as I could, sympathizing with her. There was still a part of me that wanted to meet my father. And give him hell. "Bird is a decent guy as far as I can tell."
Which was more than I could say for my late departed dad.
"Good," Sid said. "If he is my bio dad, he has a lot to live up to. My dad was the best." Her voice cracked.
I got out of my chair, put my arm around her, and hugged her. I was going to be a dad and influence a life. Someday my kid could be sitting around making a commentary about my fathering skills. The thought scared the crap out of me.
Chapter 11
Haley
I was like a kid waiting for Christmas as I waited for their car to arrive. When it pulled into the drive, my heart danced with joy. I dashed onto the front steps of the castle to meet them. I had a moment's panic—who would I greet first? The husband I missed beyond reason? Or the sister I'd give my life for?
Sid made the choice for me. She popped out of the car first and ran to me, nearly knocking me over as she hugged me. "Hale! Finally! It felt like I was never going to see you again. It's been forever."
I was so relieved to see her looking healthy and strong that my knees nearly buckled. I knew her and the disease well enough to immediately recognize any signs of relapse. Which I'd worried she would keep from me, particularly while I was feeling unwell. But she glowed with beautiful health.
I hugged her with tears in my eyes. "Missed you, too. I have so much to show you and tell you and talk to you about." I looked over her shoulder as Riggins stepped out of the car.
As always, the sight of him sent my heart skittering off course. Since we met, it felt like it beat only for him. Like he really was my other half.
Our eyes met. There was that instant spark between us. We could both try to deny it, but it was there, as it had been from nearly the beginning. The baby in my womb leaped and fluttered.
"The baby's moving." I moved Sid's hand to my bump so she could feel the tiny movements that were only just becoming strong enough for the outside world to see and feel. But my eyes didn't leave Riggins.
He came to me in quick strides. He caught Sid by the arm and gently pried her loose from me. "Sorry, sis. It's my turn now. Husbandly privileges." He pulled me into a kiss that took my breath away.
I melted into him, kissing him back, startled and pleased by the passionate way his lips possessed mine.
"I missed you, duchess," he whispered into my ear. "More than I thought possible."
Just then, the baby decided to introduce itself to its daddy and kicked hard enough into Riggins' rock-hard abs that his eyes grew wide with wonder as he felt the tiny movement.
"Was that what I think it was?" He sounded as amazed as he looked at my blouse stretched tight over my belly.
I nodded and moved his hand to my bump where the baby continued to kick. "Someone's jealous."
"Someone sure the hell is." Riggins laughed and bent to speak to my bump. "Daddy's home, baby. You're going to have to share Mommy now." He paused, staring at my stomach. "This kid is strong. And ferocious."
I nodded. "Like someone else I know."
Riggins looked happy and tender. Maybe…maybe he could fall in love with our baby. Maybe he was already.
Riggins held my hand as I showed Sid into the castle and watched her eyes go wide.
"Wow. Seeing pictures is one thing," she said. "Seeing it in person is something else. This place is beyond awesome."
I nodded and noticed Gibson standing by, waiting to be acknowledged. "Sid, I want you to meet our butler, Gibson. Gibson, my sister, Sid."
Before I could say more, Riggins interrupted. "I'm sure Sid would like to freshen up after her trip. I know I would. Would you show her to her room, Gibson?"
"My pleasure, sir," Gibson said. "This way, ma'am."
Sid gave me a quick, questioning look. It was clear she felt fresh enough already and ready to catch up with me. I, however, knew Riggins' intention. Or hoped I knew, anyway. It was the same as mine. A celibate life was no way for a married duchess to live. Now that I was no longer sick all the time, my libido had returned with a vengeance. I wanted nothing more than to direct the force of my passion at the hot, desirable man by my side, the man who belonged to me for at least as long as the sex of our baby was up in the air.
Riggins took my arm. "The duchess and I have a lo
t to catch up on. We'll meet in the library for tea in an hour. Sound good?"
Sid nodded, reluctantly. She was outnumbered.
"Very good, sir," Gibson said, directing her to the prime guestroom down the opposite hall from our suite.
The guestroom location was a matter of architecture more than convenience. The walls of the castle were thick and privacy not so much a concern.
Riggins propelled me to his room with his hand, squeezing mine. He closed the door behind him.
We stood facing each other, panting, in heat, both of us. Our gazes held. I was looking for something. The same thing I looked for every time he looked at me. If I had previously tried to mask my feelings from him, I gave up now. What was the point?
I loved him desperately. I should have told him. If that made me look desperate or scared him away, so be it. The time for game playing was over. We were having a child together. Whether we wanted to be or not, we'd always be bound to each other by it. Whether we went our separate ways or stayed together.
I voted for together. I had from the beginning. I'd thought, so many times, that he was coming around, too. Now I stared openly into his eyes, letting my heart shine in them.
He looked at me, too, with his eyes wide open so that the depths of them were pure and honest. He took my face in his strong, tender grip and tilted my face to his, leaning in until we were inches apart. "I have something to tell you. Many things to tell you. Things I should have told you a long time ago. Some of them can wait. Some of them I had my reasons for keeping to myself.
"One thing you absolutely have to know now." He leaned his forehead against mine. "I've been a stupid fool denying what's been obvious for so long." He swallowed and took a deep breath. "I love you, Haley."
My heart nearly burst. Can joy actually kill you? Can you die from happiness? The way my heart was pounding I thought it was possible, if not probable.
As I opened my mouth to respond in kind, his kiss came down on mine. One hand slid behind my head as he held my mouth captive. Not that I was in any danger of trying to escape. I kissed him back with the full force of my delirious joy and wrapped my arms and my whole self around him. As much as was possible with the baby between us.