“Nope, nothing. It was a decent ride to be honest.”
“Good, but don’t get used to life up there. We’re gonna get Ellis real soon and then you can come home.”
“It’s fuckin’ cold up here, you could’ve warned us.”
“Ah, it’ll toughen you up,” he laughs, sounding more awake.
“Go back to sleep and I’ll work out the best time to call next. We’re safe and I need a beer.”
Which I have in my hand.
“Speak soon and get Harper to call Slade. He’d like to hear from her.”
“Hey, speaking of Slade, I hear he’s not Zach’s real dad? How come no one knows this information?”
“Because it’s not anyone’s business, and anyway, loads of people know. It wasn’t a secret back then, over the years, people move on. He loves the boy, he raised him, he’s his daddy, who the fuck cares.”
“I don’t, I’m just asking.”
“Stay out of it, you’ve got your own problems to deal with. Concentrate on you.”
“Oh, I plan to,” I promise.
“Why does that worry me?”
“Cause you’re getting old and worrying about everything,” I laugh.
“I’m gone. Call me tomorrow and call your mom.”
The line goes dead. It’s not unusual for him to hang up on me. When I bring his age into anything, he runs. It’s fucking hilarious.
Going over to Gabe sitting at the table by the fire, I pull out a chair and take a seat. Heads nod at me and I take a long swig from my beer.
“Where’s your girl?” Gabe asks.
“She’s gone to bed, it’s been a long ride.”
“It’s an ass busting ride for sure,” he grunts and leans back in his chair, stretching his legs out.
“This is Hugo and Zander,” he points out to the two guys sitting at our table and I simply nod.
“Cas didn’t say much, other than you need to keep the girl safe and she’s Slade’s niece.”
“How is Slade?” Zander asks. “It’s been a good few years since I last saw him.”
“He’s good, he’s a Grampa now, he seems to be happy.”
“Good to hear. Well, if you need anything, let me know,” he says, getting up from the table. “I’m heading out, I’ll be back in the morning to sort out the sheds.”
I couldn’t care less what they’re talking about but Gabe tenses and his eyes to flick to mine. Am I not meant to know about the sheds? Now I want to know. I keep my mouth shut and finish my beer.
“See ya.”
That’s it?
Hugo is quick to excuse himself and now I want answers.
“Is something going on?”
Sighing, he narrows his eyes and his jaw ticks rapidly. Everything about him is screaming he’s holding secrets he doesn’t Cas to know.
“If Cas were to ask, I would’ve told him, but he never has, and I’ve never brought it up.”
“What exactly?”
“We have our own lines of business in and out of town and it brings a shit load more money than our part in the runs for Cas.”
I still don’t get it, why keep it hush hush?
“Are you going to elaborate? I’m here for the foreseeable, I could be a help?”
The weariness is palpable between us.
“There’s a club, The Dirty Rats, contrary to their name, they’re loyal and they ride under the radar. Whatever they want, we supply it and make good money from it.”
“Like?”
“Guns, drugs, anything they call in.”
Well fuck me sideways. No wonder he hasn’t brought this up to Cas, why would he bring this up when he doesn’t fucking know about it?
“Look, I’m not here to fuck shit up for you. Cas knows chapters run extra businesses,” I say, the words flowing from me like a stream. “I’m here to keep my old lady safe, that’s all. I could be here for months, I’m gonna need something to do.”
“I’ll be straight with you,” he says, sitting forward. “Cas should know about this, it’d be more money for the club, why are you, the son of our mother chapter VP, going to keep your mouth shut?”
“I’m not about to bite that hand that’s keeping us from a guy who wants my girl. I’m not interested in your club politics here, it’s different everywhere we go. Someday in the future, hopefully real fucking soon, I want to be able to take my girl home, I don’t want to be in another fight.”
Harper is my life now and the northern chapter earning extra money on the side isn’t my concern.
“Okay then, I’m meeting with our go between tomorrow, you can come with and meet him.”
“Who’s your go between?”
I don’t know why I ask, it’s not like I’m going to know him.
“He’s the town’s priest,” he grins.
“I suppose it helps having the big man on your side,” I laugh and then thin fast.
“I take it he’s up for taking a pay-out for a favour?”
He barks out a laugh and brothers turn to see what’s so funny.
“The greedy bastard would sell you his mother if you wanted to pay the good green paper for her. What do you have in mind?”
“I want him to marry me and my old lady.”
Harper
I’m alone when I wake up and the room is freezing when I poke my foot out of the sheets. I don’t know how we’re going to survive up here without the heat we’re used to. Thankfully, we have our own bathroom and not going last night, my bladder is painfully full this morning.
After taking care of business and jumping in the shower real quick, I shove this mornings pills in my purse from my backpack and head downstairs. JJ can’t be far, he wouldn’t have left me alone here.
Only, when I get to the bottom of the stairs, I can’t see him. Two blondes are drinking coffee at the bar and they both smile wearily at me.
“You must be Harper,” one smiles and sips her drink.
I nod. “Have either of you seen Jason? I mean, JJ?”
“He went into town with Gabe, he told me to let you know when you came down and now I have.”
The other woman rolls her eyes and shakes her head behind the older lady’s back. I supress a smile of my own and take the cup of coffee she offers me.
“I’m Claire, and this barrel of laughs is Jackie. It’s nice to meet you.”
I smile and ignore the blatant disgust this older lady has for me even though she has clue who I am. It’s going to be a long day if JJ doesn’t plan on returning any time soon. I sit on one of the stools at the opposite end to the older woman, I try to be friendly. If we’re going to be stuck here I’m going to need to not make enemies on our first day.
“What are we doing here, Jason?”
The church looks empty at first glance, until a priest moves out of the shadows and stands at the top of the aisle, and Gabe and Cassandra are sat on the front pew.
His hand sweeps across my cheek and guides me to look at him.
“Don’t think about them, they’re only here to sign as witnesses. It’s just me, you, and the priest.”
“This is what you’ve been doing today? How? We’ve been here a day.”
“You don’t want to know what the priest does when he’s not preaching to the town. He named a price and I paid it. I want to sleep next to you tonight knowing you’re my wife.”
At least I can take medication for my impulses, Jason has no excuse. I’m starting to believe he really does love me.
“I don’t have a dress.”
“When we get back to Willow’s Peak, we’ll do it properly for the folks and the club. But, I don’t care what you’re wearing, you look beautiful in everything. Are we doing this?”
My spreading smile gives him my answer and he leads me up the aisle. I forget about Gabe and Cassandra, Jason keeps hold of hand as we stand facing each other.
“Today we come together to witness two souls coming together. Marriage isn’t…”
“If you would move it
along, father, I’d appreciate it,” JJ grunts, not taking his eyes off me.
I widen mine, silently telling him not to be rude and his silent answer is to cock his eyebrow back at me. Rolling my lips, I try to hide the building smile. The priest moves it along with a cough and half turns his body to JJ.
“Do you, Jason Carter, take Harper Mae McCarthy to be your lawful wedded wife? To love and to hold, to cherish and to protect all your life?”
I watch him closely, still not believing this is really happening. He doesn’t show any hesitation, his mouth opens, and I can’t actually hear his answer, but I see his lips move.
I can’t believe I’m standing in a church where the priest has taken a backhander to wed us, yet as crazy as it is to say these vows, they flow from my lips like they’re the most natural words to say.
Gabe comes forward with the rings and gives them to JJ. They twinkle in the light and look super new. He wants this, he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. No one else. Just me. My heart is beating so hard I think I’m going to pass out.
I’m not sure how I don’t blackout before the end of the ceremony, if that’s what this is, but when the priest says to JJ he can kiss his bride, I’m picked up off my feet and I’m tightening my legs around his waist, as his lips crash onto mine.
He promised he would make up for the tears he caused me and he has. I don’t doubt his promises, I don’t see the doubt in his eyes any longer.
“I think we’re gonna be very happy, Mrs Carter,” he smiles, breaking the kiss.
“I think you’re right,” I retort, leaning in to kiss my husband again.
My husband.
The last year of my life has been one hell of a ride, but there is not one moment I would change because every second has led us here.
Sparky
I’ve never hated being on lockdown before. I usually love them as I love being at the club anyway, but over the last week I’ve come to hate it with a passion. My only solace is having Bonnie at my side. I would be truly lost if I didn’t have her.
JJ’s been gone for six days and it’s like a piece of me has gone with him. I know he can look out for himself, I know if it come down to it, he would take out anyone who came for him and Harper, but I can’t lose the pit of sick in my stomach that won’t go away because I can’t get past the worry.
The night he rode out of town with her on the back of his bike, I was proud of the man he has become, but for my own selfish reasons, I hated her because she’s the reason he’s gone. Slade’s fucking sister and niece, the two women who blew into town in a whirlwind of craziness and secrets and changed people’s lives forever. Harper’s changed my son’s life and Lily changed Cas’s life completely. He hasn’t said much, but I know it’s getting to him, and then there is Alannah. The look on her face when she heard Lily still cuts me and I wish I could burn it to ashes.
I smell the lingering scent of whiskey and I know Cas is moving to sit beside me. I continue to stare out over Lost Souls land and ask, “Did you ever think we’d worry more about them as men than we did when they were kids?”
It comes out as a chuckle, but I’m asking seriously.
“Yeah, I hear you and raise you a grandkid and a grown daughter you knew nothing about. That’s what I’m dealing with.”
His chuckle dies off and he slips a cigarette between his lips. He doesn’t light it and leaves it to dangle from his mouth.
“Between us all, we had our fair share of parental issues. If there’s one thing I’ve got left in me, it’s to make sure my granddaughter keeps both her parents around her. As for Harper, I haven’t worked that one out yet.”
I don’t particularly want to talk about her.
“We should’ve sent Leo with JJ, the two together are tight and it would keep them both safe. I really do think we’ve underestimated their bond.”
He shakes his head. “I need him close.”
“I need my boy close too, what’s really going on, Cas?”
Cas never keeps anything from me, sometimes I have to be patient and wait for him to open up, but he always does. He snaps the cigarette in two and finally looks at me.
“I’ve got cancer in the lung. If I don’t survive, I need Leo to fully understand what it takes to run the club for when he takes the gavel.”
“You’re training him up?”
“I’ve survived over twenty years as president, my boy was always going to take the gavel after me if he patched in. He did, and he will sit in my chair when I’m gone.” I leap to my feet. This isn’t happening.
“You’re getting help though, right? Fuck, how long have you known? Why didn’t Alannah tell me, she wouldn’t be able to keep a secret of this size?”
“I went for tests just before India had the baby, I got the results a week ago. I’m due to start chemo this week. And, Lana doesn’t know yet.”
I’m speechless.
Fucking speechless.
The last time I felt a shift of this magnitude, Michael had betrayed us, and Cas took his patch.
“Always thought a bullet would take me out, didn’t count on my body failing me this soon.”
“Nah, you’ll beat this.” My voice shakes.
A coldness sweeps up from my feet to my head and I sit back down. My boy is living miles away and my president and best friend has told me he’s dying.
Isn’t life just fucking peachy.
Bonus Scene
Cas and Alannah – Just after JJ and Harper left town.
* * *
I vowed nothing would ever come between me and Alannah. I vowed to my boys that I would never let them down and I vowed to myself I would protect and provide for my family for the rest of my life.
Lily fucking McCarthy.
I was not expecting her to throw I have a daughter in my face. I’ve seen Harper around for over a year now and haven’t even remotely thought she could be mine. The dates do add up, but she left town after we shared one night together. One fucking night. And if I remember right, I pissed her off because I called out another woman’s name. Alannah’s name to be precise. Who isn’t talking to me and hasn’t breathed a word in my direction since she heard Lily open her fucking trap.
I’ve got a woman I spent one night with years ago scowling at me.
I’ve got a daughter who prefers that we don’t change things between us.
And I’ve got one woman who I fucking adore and will lay down my life for who won’t even look at me.
I don’t blame her really, but it’s not like I knew about Harper and hid her away for years. I’m getting sick of everyone looking at me like I’m the one in the wrong. Perhaps they’re not looking at me, I don’t know, I can’t think straight when me and Lana aren’t in a good place.
I swear to all that I believe in, if Lana and I can’t get past this, no one will. I’m not losing her over something I had no control over twenty-five years ago.
I find her in the kitchen with Bonnie and Kristen and all three scowl at me like a trio of witches. God knows I love my wife, but when the women around this club are pissed, even I step back and want to hide.
“It’s time we talked.”
I leave no room in my tone to let her think I won’t come in there and throw her over my shoulder and carry her into my office and turn to head for said office.
I’m short of breath, but I push through the uncomfortableness and lean against my desk. I hear her footsteps coming up the hall and I begin to relax when she steps into the room and closes the door, trapping us both in alone.
“Are you ever going to talk to me again?” I start, trying to collect my breath.
“Of course I am, I just don’t know what to say at the moment.”
It bothers when she remains near the door. She’s always made herself comfortable in here, for fuck sake, this is where I asked her to marry me, and I’m pretty sure she conceived Luca in here too.
“Tell me what you’re thinking.”
“I’m thinking I have no r
ight to be angry or upset because you fathered a child before we got together. I’m thinking you were such a man whore back then I’m not even surprised you slept with Slade’s sister, it’s not even shocking that you don’t remember…”
“I do remember,” I quietly admit. “She was in town visiting Slade the week before you were due home from college. Michael had been riling me up in the back room, going on about you, knowing I wouldn’t jeopardise my patch and she was there when the meeting was over. Shit happened and that night I fucked her, and she was pissed because I called out your name when I came. I was in a bad way and after the rush I felt guilty because she was one of my friend’s sister. I remember her coming back a few months later too, I brushed her off because we were finding our way again and I wasn’t letting anyone come between us.”
I push away from the desk and walk over to her, bracing my arm on the door beside her head.
“It’s always been you, Lana. It always will be. I’ve given you twenty-five years of loyal faithfulness and I’ll give you another twenty-five, if I get that long.”
Her hand cups my cheek and I lean into her touch. I’ve never worried about Alannah leaving me for another man, we were made for each other. What we have is rare and for keeps, and I thought I had forever with her, now that might not be the case and it kills me faster than this cancer I have growing inside me.
“I didn’t finish telling you what I’m thinking.”
“Go on.”
“I’m not angry that shit happened before we got together, I’m not angry at all, I feel like everything is going to be different now. I’m not the only one who has your children, Leo isn’t your eldest child anymore, the first time you were called daddy should’ve been from Harper, not our son. You always had a daughter out there when ours never was. It’s all the small things that build up and change lives.”
“Nothing has to change, babe. She doesn’t want anything from me, or us.”
“You’re too good of a man to let that continue. It’s not going to be us and our boys anymore, it’ll be us, our boys, Harper and Lily…”