Page 6 of His Selfish Love


  “I’ll take it,” I say, snapping it up.

  “Go see Tal and he’ll show you the ropes.”

  Hold on.

  “The ropes? Why do you need ropes in a bar?”

  Will I have to tie people up or something?

  It goes quiet and then they all burst out laughing, and I don’t know why.

  “Are you serious?” Cas asks, his laughter subsiding.

  I keep my mouth closed and Leo speaks for me. “She’s not the brightest.”

  “Hey,” Slade snaps and Leo looks like he forgot my uncle was in here.

  “I meant, he’ll show you what to do. Go wake his ass up, he’s staying in room six.”

  “Thanks.”

  “And tell him to do a food run, he can go with Rome and Curt, write them a list of what you need, your fruit and shit.”

  This cuts out the laughter in the room and I slip out before he changes his mind. JJ’s door is opposite Tal’s and since he wasn’t downstairs, I’m hoping he isn’t up here, especially if he’s with some other woman.

  Before knocking on Tal’s door, I slip into my room and write my list. Together with enough cash to pay for my haul, I head back to Tal’s door and knock.

  I end up knocking three times before the door swings open and takes my breath away.

  In his tight boxers, he braces himself on the doorframe leaving his tattoos on full display for me to see.

  “Can I help you?”

  He’s not happy, and still looks half asleep. I gulp thickly and stutter.

  “I…um…”

  “Spit it out, I’ve got some sleeping to do,” he says, his face then softening. “Unless, you want to join me?” he smirks.

  Before my breakdown I would’ve been all over him like a rash if I weren’t crazy over JJ. If I remember rightly, we were going to hook up once and then I dropped him because JJ wanted me.

  “You’ve got to show me how to work the bar,” I say.

  “Do I now?”

  “Yeah, and I’ve written you a list of what I need from the store.”

  “For what?”

  He steps closer to me and I smell beer and faint cologne on him. I step back, not sure what he’s doing.

  “You’re being serious?”

  Did he think I was using a ruse to get into his snugly fit boxers?

  “Why would I be joking?”

  Shaking the sleep from his eyes, he steps back and leans against the doorframe again. He roams the length of my body with his eyes and it makes me itch.

  “What do you want, Harper?”

  I spin around, and JJ is standing in his doorway, a cigarette hanging from his mouth and a lighter in his hand ready to light up looking too hot for this time of the day.

  “I have a list for Tal, things I need from the store.”

  He looks from me to the prospect and his eyes narrow.

  “Why are you still here, prospect, and not in town running her errands?”

  “I don’t answer to her.”

  JJ stands taller and I notice how broad his shoulders are. I’ve always seen his hotness, but this morning, I’m seeing a lot of danger too.

  “You’ve been prospecting long enough to know she wouldn’t have come to you unless she was told.” He looks back to me. “Who told you to tell our prospect to get what’s on your list?”

  “Cas.”

  “What’s on the list, babe?”

  “Fruit, oatmeal, vegetables, yoghurt, stuff like that.”

  “When a brother’s niece who was instructed by the president asks you to do something, you fuckin’ do it.”

  Tal nods and mashes his lips together. He takes the list from me and stiffly grunts, “I’ll leave in ten.”

  Then he’s closing his door and I’m left with JJ staring straight at me.

  “Thanks,” I mutter.

  “No worries,” he says, his voice soft, the softest I’ve ever heard from him. “Anything you need, let me know.”

  I barely nod at him and turn my back to him. I can work out while I wait for my groceries. Good food and exercise is crucial to my mental well-being. Hot sex that I could be having with JJ is not. I must remember that.

  Past

  His sweat pours from his brow and splashes onto my cheek as he pounds into me. It’s hot and sticky tonight and our movements have been lazy and slow, intense and the most powerful build up I’ve experienced during sex. I’m two seconds away from euphoria as my climax peaks. With one last thrust, he hits the spot and I’m seeing stars.

  His chest bumps against mine as he pants, letting all the air in his lungs out in a rush, and he rolls off and lays beside me.

  I brace myself for him to continue rolling over until he’s pulling himself up and sitting on the edge of the bed. That’s what he usually does after he’s finished with me. It could be the heat, or it could be him finally coming around to the prospect of us being together, but he doesn’t go anywhere.

  “I can’t believe how hot it is tonight,” he moans, rolling back onto his side and throwing his arm over my stomach. He kicks his legs out wide across the bed, not caring that he’s as naked as the day he was born.

  If I had the energy to move, I still wouldn’t. I wouldn’t do anything that broke this spell he seems to be under tonight.

  “I heard there is a storm rolling in, hopefully it breaks the heat,” I tell him, mid yawn.

  “Urgh,” he groans. “I hate riding in the rain.”

  Then stay here with me, I silently scream at him. For one night it would be nice to see him wake up next to me the next morning.

  “It might cool you down if you get caught in a downpour.”

  He lifts his head and cocks his eyebrow.

  “Are you saying I’ve got to go, babe?”

  “What? No!”

  He laughs and lays his head back down on the pillow and I relax.

  “What do you do when we’re not hooking up?” he asks.

  My heart lurches. He never asks about my life, unless it’s to do with sex.

  I roll onto my side to face him and pull the sheet up around me.

  “I work in Kristen’s shop, get paid and spend it on bills and at Josies.”

  My life is not at all exciting and colourful.

  “Why doesn’t your mom pay the bills?”

  “You’ve met her, right?” I chuckle sadly. “She helps out sometimes, but not often.”

  His eyes bore into mine and I hold contact. This is nice, too nice.

  “What do you do when we’re not hooking up?” I throw back at him, and then wish I hadn’t.

  “If I told you, I’d have to kill you,” he grins, and I can feel the secrets he’s harbouring.

  My instincts are piping up telling me to initiate sex again to make sure he doesn’t leave. I’ve known for a long while that sex is a powerful tool when it comes to the opposite sex. Yet, neither of us move, the heat plastering us to the sheets.

  He’s too relaxed to move and for once, I’d like him to stay off his own back and not because I’m laying on mine.

  “If I stay tonight, will you read too much into it?” he asks.

  “Actually, I was going to ask if you were leaving soon? I don’t like you cramping my style, you know, I like my own space, blah blah blah,” I laugh, not being able to keep a straight face.

  “Shut up, Harps,” he snorts, totally amused.

  “Hey, if you’re staying, you gotta shut up, I’m a crazy bitch when I don’t get enough sleep.”

  “Just when you don’t get enough sleep?” he quips.

  “Hey!”

  I’m lost in the moment with him when his phone rings, my stomach dips and I feel sick. He reaches over the bed and pulls his phone out of his cut pocket and I catch a girl’s name on the screen before he angles the phone so I can’t see anything. He rejects the call and starts typing out a text.

  “What does Piper want?”

  Her name burns into my tongue like acid and anger starts to boil inside me.

&nbsp
; “I don’t know, I didn’t answer the phone,” he grunts.

  “Why are you texting her then?”

  “Fuck, babe. It’s none of your business.”

  This is what I was waiting for. I should have had sex with him again, he never answers the phone when we’re busy with our bodies.

  He sits up when he’s done with his phone and drags on his jeans, forgetting his boxers are around here somewhere, and then he throws on his hoodie.

  “I thought you were staying tonight?” I mutter sarcastically.

  “Shit changes, I’ve gotta go.”

  “Are you going to her?”

  I can’t help myself. The words are out of my mouth before I can control myself and it’s only a matter of seconds before he’s at the door.

  JJ doesn’t do this kind of talk. He bails like a pussy.

  “Jesus, Harper,” he snaps. “I’ve been with you for the last three hours, and it’s hot as fucking hell, what makes you think I have the fucking energy to go to someone else. I’m pretty sure if I wanted pussy right now, I’d slide in yours.”

  “Like I’d fucking let you.”

  “Sometimes I think I should make you my old lady, we fucking fight like we’re together.”

  He heaves himself off the bed and hops around as he puts his socks and boots on.

  “How many girl’s numbers do you have saved on your phone?”

  “I don’t know, I don’t count them.”

  I jump up onto my knees and grab his phone from the nightstand and crawl over to the window. It’s already open and he catches on quickly.

  “Harper, don’t you dare. I haven’t got time for your dramatics tonight.”

  “Why? Have you got to get back to Piper?”

  I dangle the phone outside the window and he climbs back on the bed. There’s about three or four feet between us and I’m seething. He was staying with me.

  “If you must know, she keeps calling cause Leo is ignoring her.”

  “Why would he do that?”

  “Because he’s seeing someone.”

  “Bullshit.”

  “It’s true. Now give me my phone back,” he yells, and I shut down.

  JJ doesn’t have friends, he has his brothers and then he has women he can treat like shit because we all keep running back to him.

  I’ve had enough.

  All I wanted was to feel like I meant a little more than a hook-up to him and he still couldn’t give me that as soon as another girl came calling.

  I drop his phone as he lunges across the bed and a few seconds later, we hear the thud and sounds of breaking plastic hitting the ground.

  “You’re such a bitch,” he roars, and I jump back.

  “Oh, I’m so sorry, Jason.”

  He’s off the bed and crossing the room in such a rush he forgets to pick up his keys. I don’t bother calling out to him to let him know. I grab them myself and lean out the window.

  The front door slams shut beneath me and he struts up the path towards his bike completely ignoring the smashed-up phone. He pats his pockets down and comes to a stop when he realises his mistake. He slowly turns around and my smile isn’t friendly.

  “Forget something?” I shout down, twirling the key ring around my finger.

  His mouth opens but nothing comes out. He shakes his head and turns back to his bike. He fiddles around with something and then his bike is roaring to life.

  “Keep them, they can be a reminder of me for you cause I ain’t coming back.”

  I throw them at him and they land a few feet from his bike. The prick doesn’t pick them up, he revs his engine and pulls away.

  Fucking men.

  JJ

  Bracing my arms on my knees, I sit on the table using the chair closest to me as a foot rest. It’s been thirty-six minutes since Tal started showing Harper how to work the bar, and he’s touched her three times. A hand on her shoulder as he moves behind her, a touch on her hip and another to the small of her back as he smiled at her, and she fucking smiled back, and I scowled.

  The fucker isn’t even trying to hide he’s checking out her ass as he tells her to move a box from one end of the bar to the other. He’s certainly lightened up since this morning.

  He takes the box from her before she can set it down and his hand brushes against hers, a total move on her, and yet, it doesn’t register on her radar.

  He isn’t affecting her, not one little bit. I’ve been a certified asshole to her, but I know what affects her and what doesn’t. Harper needs to really feel; the simple touches aren’t enough for her. She always needs more.

  I’m jolted forward when the chair is kicked out from under my boots. I quickly right myself and glare at Leo, who is alone for once, no India or baby in sight.

  “If she catches you staring, she’ll think you care,” he chuckles.

  He sits on the chair he kicked out from under me and swipes one of my smokes off the table. That’s another thing, since India came back pregnant, Leo doesn’t smoke much, if at all, this is the first cigarette I’ve seen him light in the last couple of weeks.

  “I don’t like her working behind the bar,” I tell him, returning to the all-too-comfortable scene behind said bar.

  “Why? I wasn’t aware you liked her at all.”

  “Everyone’s watching her,” I mumble.

  I don’t take my eyes away from her and go with the shove Leo delivers to my arm.

  “Brother? You’re the only one watching her, although…” he trails off to nothing.

  “Although, what?” I demand to know.

  “Yoga,” he says as if I’m meant to know what that shit means.

  “Huh?”

  “She had an audience from what I’ve heard, while she was working out. If you don’t like people watching her, don’t go outside in the mornings if she makes it a regular thing.”

  “Like, tight workout clothes?”

  “Ha. I knew you were full of shit. If you’re like this over her, make her your girl.”

  Yeah, that’s not going to happen. It was only last night when she was throwing me out of her room.

  “She won’t even be my friend.”

  I sound pathetic. Like fuck should I give a fuck, but I fucking do.

  Shit.

  I’m screwed.

  “Brother, you had her running around after you for months, are you telling me you can’t pull her in again?”

  I open my mouth to tell him of course I can, but it’s not like that, not anymore. Her trust in me is gone and I need to gain it back. I’m not sure I ever truly had it but I had something, which is better than the nothing she is offering me now.

  However, off to the side of my vision, I see Tal getting too close to Harper again. This time, he has both his hands on her and they linger. They don’t move, and more importantly, she doesn’t tell him to get off her. I’m losing my damn mind.

  “Hands the fuck off, prospect,” I yell across the bar and he doesn’t hesitate. He jumps back and drops his hands.

  I don’t give a fuck if Harper is now scowling at me. I want her to come at me, yell and holler, let me know she’s not completely changed now. Also, at least she’ll be talking to me.

  “I’m not doing anything and she doesn’t belong to anyone,” Tal hollers back, feeling brave tonight.

  I’m leaping off the table before I can take my next breath and darting across the bar. I vaguely hear Leo close behind me, but I’m focused on Tal, even Harper isn’t registering on my radar. I’d love a reason to smash this prospect in the face and he’s giving me one when it comes to a brother’s niece being taken advantaged of. Okay, so that’s stretching the truth but still, he isn’t touching her anymore.

  “You got a problem, prospect?”

  I round the bar, and he steps in front of Harper, as if I would hurt her. It angers me further when he squares his shoulders.

  “Well?” I hiss, getting in his face.

  We’re evenly matched, size and height, I could take him if I really wa
nted to. Right now, I really fucking want to. He’s a fucking pretty boy with his clean-shaven face and baby blue eyes. I want to wipe the croaked grin off his face.

  “What’s going on here?”

  I release a heavy sigh and refuse to drop my eyes from his first.

  “Your son is being a jerk,” Harper spits out.

  “Nothing new,” Dad says. “Though, it’s normally for a good reason.”

  Tal is the first to back off and the corner of my mouth tilts in satisfaction. The fucker has nothing on me.

  “He had his hands all over Harper, I was looking out for her.”

  It’s the truth, it’s just a pussy excuse to use because I didn’t like it.

  “Did he now?”

  Now, I truly smile. He won’t be going near her again, not now Slade knows. He won’t want a prospect near her. He didn’t even want a patched in brother with his daughter. Prospects are nothing.

  “Oh, come on, seriously?” Harper groans, stepping in front of Slade.

  “He wasn’t doing anything, and even if he was and I didn’t like it, I’d tell him myself. I don’t need you to rush in and save me.”

  Slade turns on her and full on scowls.

  “No? You just need my money to help you, you need me to help when you need a good hospital and enough cash to pay for your meds.”

  This has taken a drastic turn I wasn’t expecting. Slade isn’t usually this vindictive, he may as well be slicing her throat open for the same effect it’s having on her.

  Not one tear leaves her eyes as she spins on her heels and disappears outside. Slade doesn’t falter, he turns to the prospect and his eyes darken.

  “I don’t have much say when it comes to who she sees, but she won’t have anything to do with a prospect. Earn the patch and it might be different, if that’s what she wants. If I hear you’ve been sniffing around her, you’ll never get my vote.”

  After saying his piece, he leaves the bar and I catch my dad’s eye. He jerks his chin to the door and I follow him outside. I don’t see Harper anywhere and then I feel dad’s large hand slapping me across the back of the head.

  “I didn’t have to ask what was going on back there, I already fuckin’ knew, you idiot.”

  “I don’t know what you’re going on about, father dearest.”