It was all coming too fast. It rushed up from my feet, hit me square in the heart, and I could barely breathe. I got up from my perch near Belle and made a beeline for the door. My arm was grabbed just as my fingers hit the cold metal. I didn’t turn.
“Where are you going?”
I was surprised by the gruffness I could hear in his voice.
I thought he’d be happy to see me go, happy to be rid of me now that he had his payment and his family was safe.
“Away.”
He sighed and chuckled a little bit. It sounded bitter. He should be. “I can’t believe you’re being this way,” he hissed. “I thought you, of all people, would understand.”
I barely heard him. All I could see were the faces of his family. His family that needed him, counted on him. If I left, maybe they would be safe. It was really me the Militia wanted, not Maxton.
How was his family not scratching my eyes out right now? Oh, right, they didn’t know yet that I’d ruined their lives. That would come later. But not if I got out of there. I tried to yank from his grasp, my gaze still on the door, but he tightened his grip.
“You’re not leaving. Number one, you can’t just leave. Don’t you remember that secret door we came through? Number two, I’m not letting you leave like this. You know where my family is.”
I gasped and turned my head just slightly. “You think I’d—”
“It would be fair, wouldn’t it? I turned you in so you turn me in? Only, this isn’t just me,” he hissed, yanking me around to face him, but seemed stunned at what he found. He took a second before he spoke, his eyes searching my face in the dim room. “Why…why are you crying?” he growled softly, as if he was truly baffled, but still upset enough for it to manifest in his tone.
Though I didn’t know Maxton all that well, in the days since I met him, I had learned that he didn’t stay angry for long. I could see the anger melting off his face like snow on a hot roof.
Even still, I yanked my arm free. His mood swings were very whiplashy. He went from guilty to angry to concerned in seconds and none of it made sense.
“You can’t keep me here.”
“Oh, yes, I can.” He got closer, one of his palms coming to the door by my head. “And I will until it’s time to go. And then if you’re in such a hurry to get away from me, you can leave, but not until I have time to move my family out of here. They’d be put in confinement for this. We all would.”
“I’m not going to turn you in!” I yelled and saw Belle under his arm watching us with great interest. I closed my eyes tightly and took one deep breath. It was all I could afford if I was going to be on my own now. I opened them to find him searching my face for something. What, I just didn’t know. I lowered my voice to a whisper. “Why do you all of a sudden think I would?” I asked, despising how my voice shook.
His lip curled as he looked back over his shoulder. “I thought I could trust you.”
“You can.”
“I thought you’d understand.”
“I do,” I told him, wondering what I was missing.
“Marshall was born this way. They would have killed him,” he hissed. “We’ve been in hiding almost my entire life to save him.”
What? I felt my brows pinch. I opened my mouth, but he kept going.
“And it was worth it. I’d do it all over again. When my father died, I had to take over and that’s why I worked for Havard. To save them. To save him. To keep them safe from confinement or worse,” he growled gently like he had to growl those words and their truth, but was trying to keep it reined in for me. His family couldn’t hear him, but I almost wished they could. He loved them so very much. “The very place your mother—” He stopped. “I just thought you’d understand what I was doing here and why.”
“Maxton,” I rasped out, “I don’t know what you think of me.” I grimaced. “Actually, I do. You think I would turn your entire, beautiful family—a family I envy and can’t even look at without aching and wanting to burst wide open for what I’ve done to them—into the Militia, just to spite you? Even after you saved me and have kept me safe for days now?”
I couldn’t even be angry. When I finally understood what his problem was, I just felt such…sadness. Another piece of my world crumbled beneath my feet and I tried not to fall between the cracks, walking shakily on the thin slices that were left.
His face softened considerably. “But when I brought out Marshall—”
“I was upset,” I agreed. “I couldn’t believe that I had ruined this for you.” I looked down at his big black boots. “Your family is your secret. They’re why you needed the money. They’re why you needed that job. You turned on Havard to save me because you felt guilty.”
“What Havard was doing was wrong.”
“All right, guys, let’s go!” I heard Belle’s cheerful voice say. She took Ambrose and rolled Marshall’s chair to the other room, but Maxton’s mother stayed.
Maxton and I just stared at each other. His face was only two inches from mine, at best. I closed my eyes once more, unable to handle another second of it. But then I felt his fingers on my jaw, his thumb tilting my head back a little.
“Look at me,” he begged. “Please.” I opened my eyes slowly, not knowing what I’d find, but more guilt-ridden Maxton wasn’t it. His eyes looked me over, like he was searching for every freckle, every ridge and plane, but I somehow felt both hot and comforted in the fact that he wanted to know those freckles and, what I was sure was, imperfections. When his eyes met mine again, his fingers curled under my jawline at the same time and it was a double whammy of pleasure. I was confused in so many ways—by him, my feelings, his…relationship with that woman out there, whatever it was, and a child and… But he looked so sad that it took all that away. “I keep disappointing you. I’m so sorry. My family and Ivan’s family are all I’ve ever had. We’ve always taken care of each other. I’d do anything…”
What would you do to save your family…We had talked about it before.
“I understand. If I had been old enough to do something when my mom—” I nodded, biting my lip to stay strong. “I envy you this. And I’m sorry that I ruined it by coming on your ship—”
“Sophelia, don’t you get it in that gorgeous head of yours?” He chuckled and tilted his own head a little. “If you had never come on board, then I would have never found you, never turned you in. Then I would have never saved you, never left Havard, never been able to get the reward money by pretending to turn you in, and now…being able to save my family.”
I was sure the way my brows were scrunching was in no way cute, but he still smiled as he reached up to smooth the place between them with his thumb. “I don’t—”
“I would have never gotten the money I needed to save my family, to pay the double taxes for Marshall, and for my family and Ivan’s so they can come out of hiding and live a normal life, without you. You…” He cupped both sides of my face. “You saved my family.” He leaned in and I sucked in a breath, not knowing what he was going to do. Feeling his lips pressing a chaste, delicious kiss against my forehead was the single greatest thing I’d ever experienced—next to pancakes.
He lowered his hand and stepped back. “Thank you. I’m sorry that I thought you—” He shook his head, looking down at his boots. “Maybe we can find a way to barter or trade what’s left on my chip for silver for your trip to the Providence—”
“I don’t want it.” He looked up. “The silver, I mean. I’ve got mine. If you can do that for your family, that’s fine. Take care of them. Take care of your family because I couldn’t take care of mine.”
He went to speak once, but stopped. Then nodded and said, “In the meantime, we’ll stay the night here and leave first thing in the morning.”
“We?” I whispered.
“I can’t stay with them. I only check in twice a year. It draws attention to come here. And I don’t want to be here if they come looking for us. Ivan will get them moved out, taken care of. I’ll move on and find s
omething else to do. It was always the plan to get them taken care of and move on.” He smiled, sticking his hands in his pockets. “I can’t bring my shady lifestyle to their doorstep, but it’s still worth it to know they’re safe. Even if that means I only see them on a computer screen from now on.”
People like this still existed?
Wait—what was I talking about? Of course they did. People in the stacks loved their families so much, they just had no means to help them. I had just never met anyone who had actually had the opportunity to change it before. It was so rare.
“I envy you even more, Maxton.”
He smirked, trying to play it off. “Oh? And why’s that?”
“Because your soul, on this soulless planet, sticks out like one star in a starless sky. And it’s beautiful.”
His eyes held me in place, both of us never wavering, letting the air around us crackle with the words we’d spoken and the words yet to speak, and the knowledge that this could, in all honesty, become nothing between us. Or it could become everything.
His mother made a noise behind us and then said, “Come over here, little one.”
Being called “Little one” brought me back to that day and I jolted, it tossing me back to a time that I never wanted to remember.
“You okay?” Maxton asked, but didn’t move, didn’t touch me, didn’t move his eyes from my face.
I nodded and pushed my back away from the door. He followed and I noticed that he stood right next to me, like a guard. I wondered if that was good or bad.
“Child—”
“It’s Sophelia, Mum,” Maxton said. He sounded exasperated.
“How do you know I wasn’t talking to your behind?” she spouted back and I couldn’t hold in my snort.
She swung her gaze back to me and her lips tilted just a bit.
Maxton chuckled, still sounding exasperated. Tired even. “Okay, Mum. You can ‘child’ me all you want to.” He moved around me and leaned in to kiss her cheek. She seemed older, like she’d had him when she was an older lady. “I missed you,” he said low.
“God knows I’ve missed you, boy.” She gave him the look only someone who knew everything that was at stake would give. “And now this girl has brought you back to me.” She looked at me as Maxton leaned back. “Who has saved us all.” She whistled low. “You’re batting two for two.”
“I—” How did she even hear us? “No.”
“I don’t know you, why they want you, or how you came to be with my son.” With? I was sure my cheeks matched perfectly with my hair. “But I can guarantee you that it’s not a mistake and it’s not an accident. Nothing ever is. Everything happens for a reason. God put you in each other’s paths.”
God. I felt my jaw tighten. It wasn’t out of anger; I was just keeping it together. “The same God of Earth? The same God my mother used to pray over food to?”
She smiled a little, but it was barely enough to be called that. “I’m sure it is, Sophelia. Now, let’s get you some clothes that…fit, shall we?” I tried not to take offense at her tone and the obvious implication. “And then we can sit on down for some supper.”
I looked down at myself. “Um.”
Maxton coughed and turned to face me slightly. “Ix-nay on the argue-ay.” He coughed again.
I smiled despite it all. “Oh, you all of sudden speak Pig Latin, too? We could have been speaking in code this whole time?”
“I’ll remember to break it out the next time we need it.” I saw his chest shake with a silent laugh as he winked before turning back to his mother.
“Okay,” I told her.
“Belle!” she yelled. “Quit acting like you’re not listening to everything we’re saying and come find this redheaded girl some clothes.”
We heard a sigh and then Belle rolled around the corner wall. “Oh, poo. You know, Aunt Regalia, you are such a spoilsport!”
Aunt?
“Yes. Aunt.” I said that out loud? My eyes found Maxton’s to find more guilt. “This is Ivan’s granddaughter, Belle. Sorry, I lacked on introductions before. And that little rascal behind her is Ambrose, also Ivan’s.” Ambrose was pushing Maxton’s brother’s chair in and put him beside his mom.
Ambrose propped his arm up on the chair-back. “I’m named after a general in Earth’s Civil War. He invented sideburns.”
“They named sideburns after him, turkey,” Maxton said with a laugh.
I shook my head where Maxton couldn’t see and mouthed to Ambrose, ‘Awesome.’ He smiled and plopped up into the chair next to Marshall.
Maxton leaned down on his haunches. “And this here is Marshall.” Marshall laughed and looked over at me. “Marshall, this is my friend, Sophelia.” It had to have been my imagination how his voice changed, saying my name so softly. He cleared his throat and stood again. “And this is my mom, Regalia. We all call her Mumma ‘cause it’s the only word that Marshall has ever said out loud—when he was trying to call out for Mom.” He smiled and even looked a little embarrassed, not knowing how endearing it all was to me. “We were kids back then and it stuck.”
Belle came and hooked her arms around Maxton’s neck from behind. She was just as tall as he was so it wasn’t a hard feat to accomplish. “Yep, we’ve always been here together.” She looked at me over his shoulder. “Always together.” I gulped. Maxton rolled his eyes. “Just us. Our little family.” Then she yanked his head down and proceeded to noogie him. “And that’s why my brother, the turd, Maxton Elwell Beauregard, deserves to have his behind tanned and his eyes poked out for not coming home and seeing us sooner!”
She let him go with a laugh, as I was left wondering about his name. He lifted up, his dark hair a mussed mess of…gorgeousness that I wanted to fix. He laughed while he swiped at it and then swiped at her arm gently before giving her a hug. She hugged him back, and things changed. She hugged him hard and began to speak, her voice different, croaked. “He’s worried.”
She pulled back, letting him go. I’ll admit that I looked at them, that I looked at Belle’s face, her body language, her everything, to see if there was something I could find to indicate that there was something more than she was letting on.
“He doesn’t have to worry anymore.”
She paused and then her eyes widened. “You mean you got it?”
“Sophelia. She’s the reason you’re going home.” He turned, winked at me, and then left me to the squeals of the female I barely knew who launched herself at me while he went off to play-fight with Ambrose.
Before long, we were sitting around a small table, eating a supper of roast beef, bread with real butter, and green beans. Maxton apologized profusely in hushed whispers and made my pulse race when he took my hand in his, saying he’d had no idea or he would have asked them to change the menu for the night. I shook my head, looking down at my fingers in his. His were so much bigger than mine.
“It’s okay. It actually reminds me of my mom, being like this, sitting at the table, eating together, the sounds of plates and forks hitting each other.” His thumb ran through our fingers across my palm, and I sucked in a startled breath at how good it felt; not just at that, but at the realization that things in this world could feel that good at all.
I lifted my gaze to find him watching our hands, too, before his eyes lifted as well. His smile was slow, knowing, assured yet still so careful. He placed my hand back on my thigh and turned to his plate. I did the same to find everyone watching us. Belle was grinning behind her lips that she had clamped on her teeth, trying not to let it show. Regalia looked between us and I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Ambrose just looked at everyone else, wondering why we weren’t eating yet I’d bet.
“Grace, son,” his mom finally said.
“Yes, ma’am,” Maxton said and sighed. He said a quick one and again, it hit close to home, but at least I was prepared this time. Everything was hitting home in a pleasant way.
After a dinner of them telling Maxton what he’d missed, Regalia insisted that
the dishes could wait since they only had one night with Maxton. So they gathered in the family room to talk to him for a bit before bed, while Belle got me clothes to change into. Not only did she give me some clothes, but she gave me another change of clothes for the road, which I shoved in my bag. I saved them for the morning, not wanting to muss them or taint them somehow in my sleep. I wanted to start tomorrow fresh, in my new clothes.
There weren’t enough beds, so Belle insisted I sleep with her in hers. I didn’t complain since it had been years since I’d spent the night in a bed. I didn’t even complain too much when I woke up in the middle of the night because I was being spooned and someone was snoring into my ear—like right into my ear. And I don’t mean a cute little dainty snore, I mean like a man-snore. I questioned if she and Maxton had traded places for a moment until I looked back and it was still her. She then grimaced and tugged me tighter to her.
“Stop squirming. Man, you’re a worse bed fellow than Ambrose.”
Before I could be offended or find fault in why the situation made me want to laugh, I heard a quiet chuckle in the dark by the door. I shot my gaze over in that general direction before Maxton slid out of the dark into the barely-there light that drifted in from the other room. His eyes stayed on mine as he crept in soundlessly in the silent room and then crouched down beside the bed next to my head.
“I came to check on you.” He licked his lips. “I wasn’t just watching you in the dark or anything creepy like that.” He half-smiled. “Okay, I kind of was. I didn’t want you to wake up here, in this strange place, and be…disorientated or scared.” That bottom lip of his got tugged between his teeth a little. I sat up on my elbow, ignoring his sister-cousin’s groan of displeasure at my displacing her as her arm slid from my shoulder to my stomach. He looked at it with a smile before his eyes returned to mine, a look I couldn’t place in them. “I have a pillow over there. I was just taking a nap against the wall, so my eyes were closed if that helps.”
“So,” I began, but my voice was low and scratchy. I made sure I fixed it, speaking more clearly on the next word. “Belle called you Beauregard?”