“I’m okay.” From what I could see, he didn’t have any visible bumps or bruises on him, especially on his forearms, which I recalled the wire had been slashed in several places. “How about you? That fall you took was pretty bad.”
He smiled a little. “I’m not hurt.”
“Good. I was worried. I mean, I thought maybe your folks caught you coming back, and saw how your clothes were torn up, and they’d grounded you for life or something.” I waited for him to confirm or deny that, but he only watched my face. “So, is your name Jesse? I mean, are you Jesse Raven?”
“I am.” He inclined his head. “How did you learn my name?”
“I didn’t tell anyone about what happened,” I said quickly. “I just described you to some friends at school.”
“Why did you come back here, Catlyn?”
“I felt like taking a ride.” He wasn’t smiling anymore, and I felt anxious and annoyed at the same time. I had wanted to see him and talk to him so badly; didn’t he feel the same? “This is our property, you know. I am allowed to ride on it.”
“You are?” He looked skeptical. “By yourself, in the middle of the night?”
“No,” I had to admit, “but I couldn’t sleep, and, well, it doesn’t matter. Why did you come back?”
“I lost something. You shouldn’t come here again.” He turned his back on me. “It’s dangerous to ride in the dark.”
For me, he meant, not him. “You’re the one who got bucked off into a fence.”
He didn’t look at me. “I should go.” But he didn’t move, either.
“Maybe you should. There’s just one thing I want to know.” I walked around him to face him. “What happened after I passed out that night, Jesse?”
Six
Nothing.” Jesse studied my face. “You think that I did something to you? To hurt you? I would never.”
“In case you forgot”—I pointed across the pasture—“you left me over there. Unconscious. Alone. Under a tree.”
“I left you only to go and retrieve what was needed to repair the damage I caused.” He gestured at the fence. “When it was finished, I stayed with you for as long as I could. I could not wake you.” He hesitated, and then added, “I would have taken you home, Catlyn, but I didn’t think it would be wise.”
“Good call.” Even if he could have held me while riding—no way was he strong enough to carry me on foot all the way back to the house—he would have had to leave Sali behind. I didn’t even want to think about how Trick would have reacted to finding a strange boy carrying my limp body up to the front door. “You could have tried harder to wake me up, though. What if a bear had come along and decided I’d make a great late-night snack?”
“There are no bears out here,” he assured me. “Even if there were, they would not try to cross the barbed wire.”
“That’s another thing.” I showed him my palms. “You remember how I cut my hands, getting you untangled? When I woke up that morning, the scratches were gone. And you, you were all torn up, worse than me, and now you look like it never happened. I know I didn’t dream any of it because you just said you repaired the fence. So how did you fix the two of us?”
“I did nothing.” He gave me a suspicious look. “I thought it was something you did.”
“I saw you get thrown from your horse, I helped you out of the wire, I passed out, and I woke up under the tree. That was it. So.” I spread out my hands. “Wasn’t me.”
“I’ve told you everything that I did,” he assured me. “I feel as frustrated as you. I can’t stop thinking about that night. That’s why I rode out here tonight. I thought if I did, I’d find something that would make sense of it.”
“I’ve been driving myself crazy, too.” Now I felt guilty for snapping at him. “Did your parents catch you coming in late? Were they angry?”
“I didn’t disturb them.” He shrugged. “If they knew, they wouldn’t be angry.”
“You can’t be sure. Maybe your mom found the blood on your clothes and thought you got into a fight.” As he gave me a sharp look, I added, “The sheriff showed up the next morning to talk to us. He acted like he knew something about your accident, and even implied one of my brothers might have been responsible. I thought maybe your parents had sent him over.”
“James Yamah came to your house.” He said it oddly, as if he didn’t believe me.
“I didn’t say a word,” I assured him. “I haven’t even told my brothers. Which, by the way, makes me feel like a real jerk. I think the sheriff believes one of my brothers had found you trespassing and beat you up.”
“If he thought that were true, he wouldn’t have come to talk to your brothers,” he told me. “He would have arrested them.”
I rubbed the back of my neck. “That makes me feel so much better.”
The black stallion squealed, and Jesse and I walked over to where he was tethered on the other side of the fence. Jesse calmed him by stroking his nose and murmuring to him in a strange language.
I could have stood there and listened to him play horse whisperer for the rest of the night, but there were a few more things I needed to know. “Why do you think the sheriff came out here? Did you tell anyone about that night?”
“No, but Yamah knows that I sometimes come to the mainland to ride.” Jesse adjusted the black’s bridle. “He doesn’t trust outsiders, and he’s very protective of my family and our privacy. He believes that our wealth attracts the wrong sort of attention.”
Now I felt very glad I hadn’t admitted anything to the sheriff. “Is that why your parents don’t let you go to school? Because you’re so rich?”
“I cannot attend school because of my condition.” He touched his fingers to his jaw. “If I go outside during the day, my skin burns.”
“So does mine,” I told him. “Haven’t you ever heard of sunscreen?”
“It would not help,” he said. “For me, the sun is like fire. Any direct exposure to its rays would kill me in a few minutes.”
“Are you serious?” I’d never heard of such a thing. “That’s horrible. Isn’t there some kind of medication or treatment the doctors can give you?”
“There’s no cure.” He looked up at the stars and then at me. “You ride by moonlight, and live in the sun. When do you sleep, Catlyn?”
He often talked the way the old poetry sounded when someone read it out loud, but I was starting to get used to it. “I don’t do this all the time. Only when I feel restless.”
“Are you tired now?” When I shook my head, he held out his hand. “Will you walk with me? I want to show you something.”
I had my hand in his before I thought about it, and shivered a little as I felt his cool fingers curl around mine. “I can’t leave Sali alone too long. She doesn’t like it.”
“Neither does Prince.” As Jesse said his name, the black snorted. “But we won’t go far.”
As we walked away from the horses, part of me stood off to one side and shrieked silently in my head: You’re alone with a boy. You’re holding his hand. This doesn’t happen to you. Boys don’t notice you. Boys don’t like you.
That last part wasn’t true, or at least, I was almost sure it wasn’t. Having a boyfriend was impossible when you moved across the country every six months. Besides, Jesse wasn’t my boyfriend. He was a boy I’d met twice. A boy I’d helped. Who was holding my hand, which I knew would start sweating all over his any second now.
Why couldn’t I have been born beautiful and brave and boy-familiar? Or turned into a supermodel just for, say, the next fifteen minutes?
He led me along the fence line, ducking his head now and then before he stopped near some vines hanging down from a tree branch. The vines had formed a web between the oak and the fence, latching onto the ties and wire with tendrils that had curled clockwise in tight coils. It was probably a weed, I thought, until I saw the big splashes of white against the broad, heart-shaped leaves and smelled a soft, delicious perfume.
“What are the
se?” I touched the petals of one of the snow-white flowers with my fingertip, tracing the five-pointed star the inner folds formed.
“Ipomoea alba,” Jesse said.
The Latin made me chuckle. “Do you know that in English?”
“Moonflowers.”
“Really. Star flower would have been a better name.” I bent over to breathe in the bloom’s fragrance, which smelled better than any perfume I’d ever tried. “I’ve never noticed these before now.”
“You wouldn’t. This variety only blooms after midnight.” He plucked one flower from the vine and held it up beside my cheek. “I thought so.”
“You thought what?”
“Your skin.” He tucked the bloom in my hair. “It’s almost the same color as the petals.”
If anyone else had said or done such a thing I would have been stuttering with embarrassment, but Jesse made it feel natural. As if I went around every day having boys put flowers in my hair and pay me outrageous compliments. “Hmmmm. I think that makes me Snow White.”
“Only if you have a wicked stepmother, small friends, and a taste for bad apples,” he joked.
I was not going to babble or giggle, no matter how badly I wanted to. “So how do you know all this stuff about moonflowers?”
“My mother grows them on the island,” he said. “She’s a devoted gardener.” His eyes shifted. “What is that?”
I followed his gaze to a bunch of dry-looking white bulbs hanging in a bunch around the top of one fence post. “Garlic. My brother believes in using organic pest control.”
“Pest control?”
I nodded. “Trick always hangs bunches of them on the fences wherever we live. The horses don’t like the smell, so they stay clear of the wire, and it keeps termites from infesting the wood. He hangs it all over the place.”
“The wire he used for the fence is made of iron,” he told me. “Why did he choose that?”
“I don’t know. Maybe it was cheaper.” I tried to remember what Trick had said about the fencing, but it wasn’t something we’d really discussed. “I think he special-ordered it before we moved here.”
“Did he.” Jesse moved away from the moonflowers, from me. “You should go home now, Catlyn.”
He didn’t like that Trick had fenced in our property; maybe he wanted it to stay open so he could ride wherever he wanted whenever he wanted. But we had the right to protect our land and horses, and Jesse had plenty of property to use on the other side of the fence.
As I turned away to start walking back to Sali, I felt the lump of the ring under my T-shirt, and reached up to tug the chain out.
“I have something I think belongs to you.” I fumbled a bit with the clasp before I released it. Once I slid the ring free, I held it out to him.
He stared at it. “You found my ring.”
“You must have dropped it in the grass when you fell. I showed it to my friends at school,” I added. “That’s how I found out your name. They said it might belong to your family.”
“You carry the protection of St. Christopher.” He held up my medal, turning it over before he glanced down at me. “Are you a believer?”
“You mean, do I go to church and pray and all that?” I shook my head. “Do you?”
He didn’t answer, but reached for the ring. I turned my hand over, and then somehow our fingers meshed and we were both holding it. After a few seconds I tried to let go, but I couldn’t. It was as if my hand and the ring belonged to him now.
The ring grew warm between our palms as we looked at each other, and the perfume of the moonflowers grew thick as more of the flowers unfurled and opened.
His fingers tightened. “Catlyn.”
“I know.” I felt it, too, just as I had the first time we met. Everything about this had been accidental, unplanned, and yet I had the strangest feeling of finally arriving at something important. As if everything in my life had happened simply to bring me here so that we could meet and be together. Meeting him had turned my world upside down … and made it right. “What is this, Jesse?”
“If I knew, I’d tell you.” He sounded as confused and unsettled as I felt, and abruptly took his hand away. “It would be better if you forget about me, Catlyn. I can’t come here again.”
Now I felt angry. “Why not?” I knew he’d felt the same connection I did. Why wouldn’t he admit it?
He didn’t answer me, but walked away and vaulted over the fence. He mounted his horse with one easy, fluid movement, glanced back at me, and then rode off.
My blood pounded in my ears as I hurried over to Sali, untying the reins and swinging up onto her back. I’d never tried to jump a fence with her but I was pretty sure she could clear it. Or I could ride around to the front gate and go out that way. It would be safer for both of us. I’d have to ride fast to catch up with him, but then—
What am I doing?
I lowered the reins and closed my eyes for a moment. I felt so furious that I was shaking. I had every intention of going after him, of chasing after a boy I didn’t know, a boy who didn’t want to know me.
I was behaving like a lovesick idiot.
I turned Sali and rode her at a slow walk back to the barn. I’d let myself get some kind of silly secret crush on Jesse Raven; that’s why I was acting so crazy. I’d always pitied girls who mooned over boys who hardly knew they were alive, and now I’d turned into one.
Well, at least he’d said that he wouldn’t be back, so I’d never have to see him again. Or listen to his poetry voice, or look into his shadow eyes. Everything in my life could go back to normal. I’d forget about Jesse Raven, settle down and focus on what was really important: the farm, school, friends, having fun …
By the time we reached the barn I felt so tired I could have fallen off Sali and slept wherever I landed. It made me awkward as I dismounted, and I pulled the pad askew, but Sali just swung her head around and gave me a mildly reproving stare.
“Sorry, girl.” I got my feet under me and leaned against her for a moment. “It’s okay. We’ll be okay.”
“Not if Trick hears about this.”
I looked over Sali’s back and saw Gray standing just inside the barn doors. The sight of him shocked me so much I could hardly speak. “What are you doing out here?”
“Waiting for you.” He came and took the reins from me. “Come on. We have to talk.”
“Talk about what?” I followed him as he led Sali back to her stall. “I’m going to bed.”
He looped Sali’s bridle to a stall rail and unbuckled my bareback pad. “Trick told you, no riding at night.”
I grabbed the pad away from him. “No, he said it’s dangerous. I agreed.”
“Same thing.” My brother tossed a towel at me. “Dry her back; she’s sweaty.”
I could bicker with him, or I could make peace. “It was just this once, okay?”
“No, it wasn’t.”
“How would you know?” I rubbed the towel over Sali’s back. “You never get up at night.”
Gray didn’t say anything else until we finished with Sali and put her in her stall. Then he caught my arm before I could walk out.
“Listen,” he said. “I won’t tell big brother, as long as you do something for me.”
“Let me guess: your laundry, forever?” I imagined myself folding his T-shirts, jeans and boxers for the rest of eternity. “I’d rather be grounded, thanks.”
“I need a copy of my last physical,” he said, astounding me again. “The one I took right before we moved.”
“That’s probably in with our school transcripts,” I told him. “Get it yourself.”
Gray shook his head. “He keeps our medical stuff locked in his desk.”
Suddenly I understood. He didn’t just want me to get his physical, he wanted me to break into our brother’s desk and steal it. “You’ve got to be kidding.”
“I need it, Cat.”
“For what?” I demanded. “You’ve had all your shots. You’re not sick. All it proba
bly says is surly, oversize grump in need of a haircut.”
“I have to turn it in with some forms.” His expression grew stubborn. “I’m going to try out for football.”
My jaw dropped. “Trick already said you couldn’t.” And Gray never defied our brother. Not once in my memory.
“Yeah. The same way he said no riding after dark.” For someone who was behaving like he’d been possessed by mind-controlling aliens, he seemed remarkably calm. “You should understand why.”
“What?” I stared at him. “Who are you, and what have you done with my brother Grayson?”
He made an impatient sound. “We always do whatever Trick says. He wants to move, we move. He wants us to live in the country, we live there. He makes all the decisions and we just go along with it.”
“That’s because he’s our guardian, stupid,” I said. “We have to do what he says.”
“I’ll be seventeen in a couple of months,” Gray said.
He had a point there. “Then wait another year, until you turn eighteen,” I told him, “when he can’t stop you and you don’t have to lie to him and make me steal stuff.”
“No.”
I couldn’t believe he was being this stubborn about, of all things, football. “If you do this, he’s going to find out, Gray.”
“I don’t care.”
He didn’t; I could see that. I also suspected that if I didn’t help him he’d make a mess of it. “All right. I’ll do it. When Trick finds out he’s going to ground you until you graduate, but that’ll be your problem, not mine.” As he grinned I held out my hand. “By the way, this makes us even. Forever. Promise.”
He shook hands. “I promise.”
Seven
After being rejected by Jesse Raven and caught by Gray, I expected to toss and turn until dawn. Instead I fell asleep as soon as my head touched my pillow. I also dreamed, of riding through the night down an endless stretch of dark land between armies of gigantic black oaks. This time I was chasing a shadow instead of a boy. The shadow had no shape, so I couldn’t tell what it was, but it moved like nothing I’d ever seen.