"Yes, I'm Buck,” the man holding her hand said at last. He placed his other hand on the dark-haired woman's shoulder. “And this is Sally Miller. Sally Peters now. She's my wife."
CHAPTER 9
The smile melted from Caitleen's face like wax from a burning candle. A vast and unrelenting buzzing filled her ears. While she was certain people were talking around her, she could not make out their words. Numbly, she pulled her hand from Buck Peters’ grasp and felt it fall woodenly to her side.
"I see,” she managed at last to say through a mouth that suddenly felt filled with dust.
"Caitleen, I'm real sorry,” Buck Peters said gently. “I didn't get the telegram saying you were coming. We owe you a mighty big apology."
"Heavens, don't be absurd. You had no idea I was coming. You had every right to do as you pleased,” Caite heard herself say, forcing a smile onto her face. She clapped her hands briskly together to disguise her embarrassment. “I shall just go and pack my belongings."
Turning, she left the kitchen before anyone could stop her. She expected to feel tears as she hurried down the hallway to Buck's room, but instead, her eyes felt as hot and dry as an oven. She hurdled through the door, immediately seeking out her trunk. She began to toss her belongings inside carelessly, wanting only to keep moving. Anything to keep herself from thinking about the humiliation she had just endured, and the predicament in which she found herself.
When she heard the soft rap on the door behind her, Caite's first thought was to remain silent. Perhaps whoever had decided to intrude upon her shame would take the hint and go away. She did not think she could bear to hear well-meant advice, or worse, words of consolation.
"Caitleen?” she did not recognize the musical voice, but Caite knew whose it was.
"Yes?” she asked brightly, turning from her trunk to face Sally.
"I came to see if you are all right,” the dark-haired woman explained quietly.
Caite laughed hollowly. “Certainly. I shall be all packed up in a few more minutes..."
Sally crossed the room on cat feet and placed her tanned hand across Caite's much paler one. The women locked gazes. Sally's cornflower-blue eyes were filled with compassion. At the sight of such obvious sympathy, Caite felt the cursed fickle tears spring into her eyes.
"You don't have to leave,” Sally said gently.
Caite laughed again, bitterness tingeing her voice this time. “Of course I have to leave, Sally. The man I came to marry has a wife. There's no place for me here."
"Still, you're welcome to stay,” Sally replied calmly, moving aside to allow Caite to finish throwing garments into the trunk. “That is, if you have no place else to go."
At those words, Caite sank wearily down onto the bed. The bed, she realized too late, which Buck would share with Sally. She did not have the strength to rise.
"I do not have a place to go,” she said quietly. “But I cannot stay here."
Sally sat down next to Caite and took her hand. “Of course you can.” She gave a gentle smile. “Buck tells me there's plenty of space at Heatherfield. There's a lovely room just off the kitchen. It isn't as large as this room, but I'm sure you'll like it."
"You would not find my presence ... awkward?"
Sally's brow furrowed in curiosity. “Would you feel awkward?"
I certainly would, Caite thought, but not for the reasons Sally might think. “I don't know Buck Peters, even though I had intended to marry him. I certainly harbor no jealousy toward you, if that is what you're thinking. In fact, I'm happy for you both."
"I know how strange and terrible this must seem to you."
Caite shook her head. Now that she had time to think about the situation, she was really quite relieved. She had been more apprehensive about marrying a stranger than she had thought. “Strange, yes. Terrible, no."
Sally clapped her hands gleefully like a child, and gave Caite a swift hug. “Then you'll stay?"
"I can't impose on you..."
"Buck signed a contract that said he would provide for you,” Sally interrupted. “When we found out you were here, he was very certain he wanted to hold up his end of the agreement."
"But he signed that contract long before he knew I was coming!” Caite protested. Already she knew Sally would not take no for an answer. Despite her delicate appearance, this woman was as tough as shoe leather.
"He signed the contract saying he would provide for the woman Pastor Jonas sent. Here you are."
"Buck is a good man,” Caite said. “But he is really under no obligation to me at all."
Sally chewed her lower lip thoughtfully. “Stay then until you have a place to go."
"Pardon?"
Sally repeated herself. “When you have a place to go, then make plans to leave. Until then, you are welcome here, Caitleen."
Caite thought hard for a moment. Staying at Heatherfield meant staying close to Jed. Could she endure the torture of being so close to him and remembering what had passed between them, yet knowing he did not care for her? What were her choices? Returning home meant marriage to Drake Hammond. Since she could not very well go off to pan for gold, she supposed being an old maid school teacher was her only option.
"I shall stay,” she decided suddenly. “But only until I have a place to go."
She would just have to make sure she found a place soon.
* * * *
Jed's excitement burbled in his chest like a stream running through a meadow. His father had a wife! Buck no longer needed a mail-order bride. Jed paced the length of the front porch, his long legs eating up the floor. He reached the end and turned back, his thoughts keeping pace with his strides.
Jed had been just as surprised as everyone else when Buck had arrived at the ranch with Sally beside him. And, like everyone else, his thoughts had turned immediately to Caitleen and how she would take the news. Unlike the others, however, Jed's thoughts took a different twist.
Sure, he supposed Caite might be upset and embarrassed. But heck, she'd get over it. Especially once she saw, as he did, that the situation couldn't be more perfect. Once she saw that now they could be married.
Jed stopped his pacing, and leaned on the porch railing. Married? Did he really want to marry the little firebrand?
"Heck, yes!” he whooped, unable to keep the excitement bottled up inside him any longer.
Caitleen O'Neal was everything a man could want in a woman, and more. She was smart, passionate and beautiful. She was strong-willed, but so was he. He thought of the way she had moved beneath him and felt the stir of arousal in his groin. She was a sensuous lover, a great hand at checkers, and her appetite proved she would always set a good table. He'd be a fool not to marry the woman. Besides, he had taken her virginity. It was his duty.
"Caite has decided to stay on with us,” his father's new wife told him from the doorway. Jed turned.
"Just until I find a place to go,” Caite added. Her smile was not as bright as Sally's.
"We just finished telling the others,” Sally told him. “We wanted you to know, too."
"I'm glad to hear it.” Jed's heart beat faster at the sight of Caite's lovely green eyes flashing at him. He needed to talk to her alone.
The women had turned to go back inside the house. Without wanting to seem too obvious, Jed followed close behind. He managed to grasp Caite's elbow just before she followed Sally into the kitchen.
"Can I talk to you for a minute, Caite?"
"You go ahead,” Caitleen told Sally. “I shall be in directly."
"Don't be too long,” Sally smiled. “My mouth is watering to try some of your bubble-up bread!"
When Sally had gone inside, Caite turned to Jed. Her jaw was clenched firmly. “I've decided to become a school teacher. I shall do my best to secure a post in Lonesome or Staghorn as soon as possible. I promise I will not be here much longer."
"That's not why I wanted to talk to you.” Jed couldn't keep the foolish grin from spreading across his face like syrup on a
flapjack. Couldn't she see by his expression what he wanted to talk to her about? Gorry, he hadn't felt this clumsy since he'd been about twelve or so.
"Oh?” There it was—the cocked eyebrow. He wanted to take her face in his hands and plant a kiss right in that spot. Heck, in every spot!
"Do you think we could go outside for a minute?"
"I promised I'd make bubble-up bread,” Caite replied coolly. “I don't have time to lollygag about, Jed."
Jed pulled gently on her elbow. “Just come."
"Fine.” She sighed in exasperation, carefully extracted herself from his grasp and followed him outside.
"Over here.” Jed indicated the side of the house furthest away from the kitchen. He didn't want their voices to carry. When he announced their nuptials, he wanted everyone to be surprised.
Caite stood in front of him, arms folded. “Yes?"
This was it. Jed took a deep breath, feeling suddenly as skittish as a newborn colt. Another sappy grin filled his face.
"I reckon you were surprised when Pa came home with a wife.” He could have kicked himself for sounding so stupid.
"Your powers of observation are amazing."
"Well, it just works out perfect after all, though, doesn't it?"
Suspicion was clearly stamped across her lovely features. “What are you trying to say?"
"Now we can get married,” Jed said, and braced himself for her tears of joy.
Caitleen did not cry. Her face paled dramatically, and her fists clenched at her sides, but nary a tear showed itself within the depths of her captivating green eyes. Instead, she whipped out a hand and slapped his cheek.
"What the heck was that for?” Jed growled, holding his face.
"You unbelievable blackguard!” Caite cried. “How dare you assume such a thing?"
She had slapped the smile right off his lips. “I thought you'd want to get hitched!"
"To you?” Caite was incredulous.
"Yeah, to me!” Jed retorted. She really had him riled now. “That's what you wanted all along, isn't it?"
Caite sputtered, her face turning red. “You horrible, horrible man!"
"You're repeating yourself,” Jed remarked rudely. Where were her tears of joy?
"You told me to my face that you do not care for me,” Caite snapped. “So please do not insult me with this farce about marriage!"
"It's my duty to marry you.” The entire situation had been torn from his hands. Blast this woman, but she made his hackles rise.
"Your duty!” Caite shrieked. “To the devil with you, Jed Peters! To blazes with you and your duty!"
"C'mon, Caitleen,” Jed said, wanting to get the conversation back on track. “You don't have much choice anyway."
"No choice? What is your rationale for that ludicrous statement?"
Now he felt uncomfortable, but if she were going to force him to point out the obvious, well, then, he'd oblige. “You remember what happened at the cabin, Caitleen. No man wants used goods. No decent man anyway."
She blanched, the color leaching from her cheeks and throat. “Your father is a decent man. You were willing for me to marry him."
Jed shrugged. “You were a mail-order bride. He was expecting someone who'd strayed a little, Caite. Any man you meet in Lonesome or Staghorn is going to expect the maiden schoolteacher to actually be a maiden. You'd have a mighty hard time describing why you're not. Why not just let me marry you?"
"I would not marry you if you put a gun to my head.” Caite's fabulous emerald eyes narrowing in an expression he recognized all too well. “I would not marry you if God himself decreed that we should wed."
Jed stepped back from the palpable force of her fury. “Caite, listen..."
He did not have time to explain himself, or to apologize for losing his temper and saying things he did not mean. Caite had turned on her heel and left him in the dirt, with only a few pecking chickens at his feet for company.
Damn.
* * * *
Let him marry her, indeed! Caite fumed and seethed as she whirled around the corner of the house. No choice, he had said. To blazes and back with his choice, and his duty.
Just a short time ago she had been delighted at the thought of marrying Jed. That was before she had discovered that behind his handsome face and appealing body lurked the soul of a scoundrel as black as a hundred Drake Hammonds. She certainly did not need his cheap favors.
"Caitleen!"
He had had the nerve to follow her. Caite halted in disbelief. The man had actually come after her.
"I have nothing more to say to you,” she replied, calmer now. As always, her anger had blown through her and away like a summer storm. It was the one good thing about having inherited her father's temper.
"I just want to know one thing,” Jed said. “Why not?"
"Why not what?” she asked, although she knew.
"Why won't you marry me?"
Could that be a hint of despair in his handsome green eyes? Of course not. He had already said he did not care for her. Whether he was lying or telling the truth, she was no better off. She would no more join her life with a liar than she would with a man who did not love her. Her decision to marry a stranger had ended with her obligation to marry Buck Peters. If she ever chose to marry, Caite determined it would be for the right reasons.
"If I have to explain my reasons for not wishing to marry you, then you would not understand,” she said icily.
"I reckon I do understand,” Jed retorted. “You think I'm some dumb cowboy, don't you?"
"Of course not!” she replied, taken aback by his comment. She had never thought him unintelligent. Stubborn and arrogant, yes, but never stupid.
"You didn't seem to mind my rough edges at the cabin,” he continued, advancing on her by a step.
"I have no idea where you got the idea I thought you were dumb,” she remarked in a low voice, mindful all at once they were very close to the house. “But you are certainly no gentleman to remind me of what happened at the cabin!"
"That's the problem, ain't it?” Jed continued, his drawl becoming thicker. “I ain't no gentleman. A gentleman sure'n blazes wouldn't do this!"
Before Caite could stop him, he had pulled her into his arms and crushed his mouth down to hers. Her every protest fled under the onslaught of his lip-bruising kiss. Of their own accord, her arms wound around his neck. The very air in her lungs flowed from her into him and back again, making breathing unnecessary. The kiss seemed to go on forever.
Forever was cut short as Jed pulled away from her abruptly. He was breathing as hard as she, Caite noted with pleasure. She would have been hard pressed to notice much else, even as she was still reeling from the effects of his kiss. Except of course, Jed's arousal nudging her belly. She had no trouble noticing that.
Who was she trying to fool? No one had ever made her feel the way Jed did, and she could easily believe no one ever would. She may be relatively inexperienced in the ways of love, but she knew enough to realize the sparks she felt flying between them had to be unique.
"You are no gentleman,” she murmured, tipping her face to his for another kiss.
"And I don't reckon I ever will be,” Jed replied, obliging her.
Caite laid her head gently against his chest for a moment, enjoying the sound of his heart beating through the homespun cloth of his shirt. She felt so right in his arms, so safe. She sighed. Love certainly was a confusing emotion. From anger to ecstasy in the span of a few minutes ... it was enough to make her head spin. And yet, her fury had been fueled by knowing she'd fallen in love with him. She shook her her head and gave a little chuckle at her foolishness. Loving Jed would always be like galloping on a runaway horse, but she guessed she wouldn't have it any other way.
"Isn't there something you'd like to tell me?” She asked playfully. The words ‘I love you’ rose to her lips, but faded away when she saw the puzzled look on his face.
"Like what?"
Caite turned her face to Jed's ag
ain. Her stomach had begun to drop to her toes. A sickening suspicion filled her. Had she gone and made a fool of herself for him ... again?
"Like why you want to marry me?” She moved out of his embrace.
"There are lots of reasons to get hitched,” Jed hedged. Supreme discomfort had become apparent all over his face.
"Such as?” She wanted to sit down before she fell down, but she refused to allow her knees to bend. She might have to hear him break her heart again, but she would do it standing proudly.
"You're a good match at checkers,” Jed said. If he was trying to make a joke—and Caite was not certain he was—he had failed. Miserably.
"And that is a reason to marry someone?"
"Well, you're a good match in bed, too."
At the callousness of his comment, the air pressed from her lungs in a soundless wheeze. She was chilled despite the day's heat. She was paralyzed by her own stupidity. She had been a fool again and again for this man. When would she learn her lesson?
"That is all?” Those are your only reasons, those and your damnable duty?” she asked, not certain she had managed to speak aloud until he answered her.
"Look, Caite,” Jed said, taking both her hands gently in his. “I can't promise to love you forever. I can't promise you that. But I can promise you're the only woman I'm making love to. I can promise you're the one I'll come home to every night. I can promise to provide for you and our babies. That's what I can promise. Isn't that good enough?"
Caite carefully removed her hands from his grasp. “No, Jed, it is not."
"Why not, Caitleen?” She might have thought he were pleading, had she not known the truth of his heart.
Because I want hearts and roses and love songs, she wanted to scream. I want dancing in bare feet under the stars while the babies sleep. I want laughter in the summer rain. I want warm feet next to mine and warm arms around me on winter nights. I want to be loved!
She had escaped being forced to wed a scoundrel, and she'd escaped one loveless marriage by pure fate. She wasn't about to force herself into another one now.
"I told you before,” she replied quietly. “If I have to explain the reasons why, then you just do not understand."