He turned and looked to where she was directing him. Bringing his eyes back to her, he agreed, “Okay, I’ll go over there. But, Rachel?”
Rachel blinked as he started to swim backward toward the agreed-upon spot.
“When this is over, you better be ready. I want to fuck you almost as bad as I want to hear what you have to say.”
“You want to fuck me?” Her tongue traced her bottom lip as she stared at him while he rested against the ladder. “That sounds…rough.”
She felt Cole’s eyes on her as though he were touching her from across the pool.
“After wrestling with you in and out of my bed and then in this pool, my desire for a nice slow night of making love has suddenly disappeared.” He moved his arm, so he could run a hand through his hair. “Plus, there’s something extremely sexy about you trusting me, and it makes me want to get close to you.” He paused and licked his lips. “Really fucking close. Now, talk.”
Cole wasn’t lying. He did want her, but first, he wanted words. He needed to know what chased her from her sleep every other night. He kept his eyes on the nearly naked and half-submerged woman pressed firmly against the tile wall. Her dark hair was sleeked back from the water, and even though he could see hints of red through it, this was the first time she looked completely natural. She looked vulnerable.
“I met Ben when I was seventeen,” she started.
“Seventeen?” Cole couldn’t stop himself from commenting. When her eyes came to him, he shrugged. “Sorry, I didn’t realize. Go ahead.”
Looking away from him, she continued, “It was the night I graduated, and Mason and Josh came home from college to see me. The graduation ceremony was over, and I was planning to go to the after-party with them.”
“But you didn’t?” Cole questioned, keeping a close eye on her.
“No, I didn’t,” she replied, shaking her head.
“Why?”
Turning to him, she asked him directly, “Do you promise not to get weird or pissed off?”
Cole was surprised by the question. He didn’t have a clue as to why she thought he would get mad at her about something that happened years ago before they had even met. She seemed to need the answer though, so he nodded, wondering what she was about to reveal.
“I…well, I had a huge crush on Josh all the way through high school.” She paused and glared at him, daring him to respond.
He had already suspected that there was history between her and Josh, so it wasn’t that big of a surprise, but it was interesting information just the same. When he remained impassive, she pressed on.
“Well, I was going to go to the after-party that night, but I overheard someone talking…Lisa…”
She seemed to hiss that name, so Cole couldn’t help himself. “Who was Lisa?”
She rolled her eyes and then tartly replied, “Josh’s idiot girlfriend.”
Realizing this was not a good time to laugh at her continued dislike of a girl from her teenage years, Cole remained silent.
“Anyway, she started talking about how amazing the…well…” Rachel stopped and bit her lip. Then, she blurted out, “You know what I mean.”
“Sex? How great the sex was with Josh?”
Cole couldn’t believe he was having this conversation about his business associate and friend. He would probably never look at Josh quite the same, but it was obviously very important to Rachel, so he tried to listen objectively.
“Yes. I got upset. It’s stupid now, but back then, the thought of her with him pissed me off.”
Although he knew the answer, Cole interjected there, “Does it still bother you?”
She turned so quickly he could have sworn her head almost flew off her neck.
“Definitely not. Josh is like a brother to me. That night still bothers me for many reasons, but none of them revolve around Joshua Daniels.”
Cole nodded, believing her one hundred percent. “So, what happened?”
“Well, I went to a different party. I was determined to forget about the boy who broke my heart, so I did what all girls do to forget.”
“Eat ice cream?” he quipped, trying to keep her from becoming too upset by her story.
“No,” Rachel replied caustically. “I drank way too much.”
Cole felt his stomach tighten as he thought about Rachel at seventeen—alone, heartbroken, inebriated, and meeting this Ben guy for the first time. “And then what?” he urged.
Rachel slid down the wall a little until half of her hair was in the water and her chin was touching the surface. “Then, I met Ben.”
Cole told himself to stay where he was and keep his mouth shut. She just needed a moment, but it was quickly becoming apparent that his patience was running thin. He needed to let her know what he wanted. And god, I want it.
Softly, he encouraged her to continue, “Tell me your secrets, Rachel. I need to know you.”
Rachel turned her head to look at the naked man submerged in the water. All she could see were his broad shoulders and head as he leaned against the pool ladder. His eyes were focused on her with such ferocity that she felt he was pulling the information from her through sheer force of will alone.
“Ben was older than me,” she found herself divulging.
“How much older?”
“I was seventeen, and he was twenty,” she confessed.
“He had sex with you when you were seventeen? I’m going to beat this guy’s ass.”
Rachel couldn’t help the small smile that tugged at her lips. “Relax over there, would you? We didn’t do that until I was eighteen…a week later.”
Cole showed his teeth in a fierce scowl. “That does not make me want to kick his ass any less.”
“Oh? And how old were you when you lost your virginity?”
“We are not discussing me,” he pointed out in a surly tone.
“Well, maybe we should.”
“Stop stalling, Rachel. Tell me about Ben.”
She nodded and took a deep breath, and suddenly, she wanted to be closer. First, she had wanted distance, but as she thought about the cruelty of Ben, she found herself inching closer toward Cole, closer toward safety.
“Everything started out fine, like normal. When we met, I was trying to forget about Josh, so I flirted outrageously with Ben. I hadn’t dated anyone else, so I pretty much threw myself at him, and he took what I offered…over and over.”
“Yes, I get the point Rachel. Move on.”
As she got closer to him, she could see his eyebrow twitching, and she knew he was exercising immense control and patience.
“Things were great for a while. He was older, smarter, and to me, he was perfect. Plus, he made me forget about Josh until…” She paused, realizing she was now only an arm’s length away from Cole.
“Until?” he asked.
Rachel looked him straight in the eye as she confessed softly, “Until he started to hurt me.”
Cole wrapped his hands around the metal rails of the ladder. He had guessed it was something along those lines, but to hear the words come out of her mouth, entering the space between them, made him want to find the cowardly fucker and kill him.
She continued looking at him, and the significance of her moving closer was not lost on him. All of a sudden, he wanted to wrap her in his arms and promise her that no one would ever touch her again. That he would take care of her. That he would never let her go.
It was only the skittish look in her eyes, like she was about to bolt, that had him holding his tongue.
Gingerly, Rachel reached out as though she needed something to anchor herself. She placed her wet small palm against his chest and looked up into his eyes. “At first, it was for fun.”
Cole looked down at the woman staring at him and tightened his fingers around the rails. If ever there was a time not to touch, this was it. He didn’t know what he wanted to do—shake her and say, No, you were completely wrong, or hug her close and never let her go.
“At first?” he asked.
&
nbsp; She attempted a flirty smile, but it didn’t reach her eyes. “You know, in the bedroom. I’m sure you’ve—”
“Stop right there. Don’t assume things you don’t know for certain. It only makes a fool out of you and me.”
She lowered her eyes, and he knew she was about to remove her palm from him, but Cole wasn’t about to let her go anywhere. He raised his left hand and placed it firmly over her right.
“I’m not one to judge what others do behind closed doors, but know this. I have never hit a woman—ever. Not inside or outside of a bedroom, not in anger or passion. Is that something you want? Something you need?” He hoped to hell she said—
“No.”
Oh, thank God. He knew he didn’t have that in him. He enjoyed having the power in a situation, but he didn’t want to take it with violence.
“I like being told what to do,” she admitted, staring up at him again.
He could tell that this was her version of baring her soul. He was also aware that he wanted to wrap her up in his arms and never let her go.
“You like to follow orders?” Cole clarified, already knowing this.
Whenever they had been together, any small order he had given her turned her on, and her desire had doubled. This wasn’t news to him. But it is fucking hot to hear out loud.
“Yes. I like to follow yours. It turns me on to please you. To do as you tell me to. To have you instruct me.” Bravely, she kept her eyes locked with his as she continued, “Ben started out the same, but somewhere along the way, he changed. He became possessive, demanding…” She paused, and then she whispered, “Abusive.”
“What did he do, Rachel? Tell me,” he requested, now needing to know everything.
“We were together for a long time—five years.”
Fuck, Cole thought. Now, I really hate the fucker.
“The first two and a half years were fine but casual. We dated and would sometimes stay over at the other’s house. He was just as a boyfriend should be, and one night, as we were…intimate, he told me to do something, and he noticed the way it affected me. After that, he asked me if I wanted to do that more often. I didn’t really understand everything he was talking about, but he convinced me that I should let him lead in the bedroom, and I should follow…or obey as he put it. At first, it was fun, exciting…different. I had a secret no one knew about. I knew it was a good one because nothing that felt that good could be wrong, right?”
Cole couldn’t talk. He wanted to hit someone—preferably Ben or maybe even Josh for not dating her when she was younger and letting her end up with this creep. But he knew that wasn’t fair either. They all had pasts, but—fuck him—he was not enjoying hearing about hers.
“Then, things started to change. After he moved into my apartment, he began to get aggressive. We went to a family dinner one night, and when we got home, Ben got mad at me and pushed me into the wall. He hurt me and then called me a stupid bitch. I couldn’t understand what I did. I didn’t know why he was acting that way.”
Cole could feel her little nails digging into his chest, and he relished the bite they brought because he was feeling murderous. Squeezing her hand where it rested against him, he silently pushed her to continue.
“After that, he became really intense. He started wanting to tie me up during sex. He’d use belts, ties, and handcuffs to hold me down, and while it was exciting, at the same time, his fucked-up mood swings scared the hell out of me. I was terrified to say no because I didn’t want him to hit me. Then, it escalated one night. He came home and told me he had run into Mason. At first, I didn’t understand where he was going with that because he had called and told me to be waiting for him, which meant I had to be naked. So, I waited for him, just like he had asked, knowing this would make him happy. Well, at least, I thought it would.”
She stopped and took a deep breath. Bringing her second hand up to his chest, she gripped him just like she was doing with the other. Cole could tell she was as absorbed in the story as he was because not one part of him or her was focused on their lack of clothing and their intimate proximity.
“He told me to turn around, and I did as he asked me to. When I heard him pull out handcuffs, I knew that he was in a weird mood, and I did not want to be cuffed while he was acting that way. I told him no, but he didn’t listen. Once he had me secured, he taunted me. Finally, he turned me around and told me that Mason had said Josh was back in town and he’d joked about Josh being my old crush,” she spat the word like it was tainted, like it was poison.
When her eyes came up to his, she had tears running down her cheeks.
“I never even knew Josh was back. I didn’t even care, but Ben didn’t believe me.”
Cole brought up his free hand and cupped the back of her neck where her wet hair was pressed to her naked skin. He was letting her know he was there, so she wasn’t alone.
“He threw me on the bed, and I was on my back when he got on top of me. I promised him that Josh was no one and that I didn’t even know he was back in town, but that wasn’t enough. He straddled me and slapped me in the face, and as I lay there beneath him, I let him. I just let him hit me. But instead of that being the wake up call it should have been, I stayed. I stayed with him, naively believing that things would change. It wasn’t until he took his belt to me one night that I knew, if I survived, I couldn’t stay with him a day longer than I had to. I also promised myself I would never let a man hold me down or control me—ever again. “
Lowering his mouth to her forehead, Cole gritted his teeth. Against her cool skin, he whispered, “What happened? How did you leave? Mason?”
She pulled back abruptly and shook her head. “No! And you have to promise me to never tell him.”
Cole nodded, but he knew that, like himself, if Mason ever found out about what had happened to his little sister, he would hunt the man down, and…well, God help Ben. Or not.
“Then how?”
“My father.” She finally smiled up at him. “My wonderful, larger-than-life father. He came over the day I was kicking Ben out and found him hitting me.” Rachel’s smile widened. “He beat the ever-loving shit out of Ben.”
Cole felt his own mouth twitch, but he couldn’t bring himself to smile. “Your father sounds like a very wise man. He managed to stop. I probably would have killed him.”
Finally, she nestled in close to him, and the enormity of trust she was extending was so overwhelming that Cole felt an unfamiliar knotting in his throat. With her hands trapped between them in the water, he stroked a soothing palm down her hair and under the water to the curve of her back where he pulled her in as close as possible.
That was when she softly said, “My father would have loved you.”
Cole closed his eyes and squeezed her tightly. “I don’t know about that. I’m not really the father-loves-me material.”
She tilted up her head and gave him a shy smile he had never seen. “This time, Mr. Madison, you are wrong.”
“Am I?”
“Yes,” she murmured as she nuzzled close to him.
When her tongue flicked his nipple and piercing, he felt the familiar stirrings of desire.
“What do you think you’re doing?”
She did it again and peered up at him with eyes now full of mischief.
“Well, I’ve finished talking. Do you still want to fu—”
“Shh,” he interrupted. “No, I don’t.”
He watched a frown appear on her face as she made a move to push away from him, but Cole wrapped his arms around her waist and hauled her up so her mouth was level with his. He moved his face in close to hers and looked her directly in the eye.
“I want to take you up to my bed, lay you down in it, and slide so deep inside you that I have trouble remembering what it’s like to be apart from you. And, Rachel?”
“Yes?”
“I want you to let me.”
As he pressed his mouth to hers, he was happy to find that she had agreed.
It was
Thursday morning, and the sun was shining down through the shop window. If Rachel was honest, she was feeling pretty fantastic. As she stood behind the counter, arranging a vase of calla lilies, she thought back to last night with a smile.
When they had finally reached Cole’s bedroom, he had made good on his promise, and he had effectively made her forget what it was like to ever be apart from him. He had also managed to chase all the demons from her sleep. She had no doubt it had to do with the fact that he had wrapped her up in his arms and held her all night.
The man has such a wonderful soft side to him—like that look I keep seeing, the one he shows when he thinks I’m not looking. Hmm…
Tonight was the night of the function down at the Shedd Aquarium. She’d already arranged with Mason to have the night off at Exquisite, so she was going to close the shop early to get her hair done.
She’d also decided to go ahead and hire Katie.
She’s perfect. So what if it’s quick and impulsive? I like her, so it’s completely justifiable, she thought as she imagined Mason ruminating over the reasons for looking at several other candidates.
Placing the vase in the back display cabinet, Rachel moved around the shop, singing one of the old songs her father used to love. Of course, she was adding her own personal flair just for fun.
“Stars shinin’ bright above me.” She started as she hummed Dream a Little Dream Of Me.
Picking up the broom, she found herself twirling it in her hand as she was possibly—actually, definitely—dancing with it.
Oh god, Rachel thought as she stopped abruptly. He’s reduced me to moon-eyed teenage girl!
“Ahh, the classics. Mama Cass. Don’t stop on my account. Please continue.”
Spinning around on her toes, Rachel snapped her mouth shut as she came face-to-face with Josh. She was not pleased to see him standing just inside the shop door, bearing witness to her horrible pseudo-singing audition. With his shoulder propped against a display stand, he was staring at her with one annoyingly amused grin.
“What are you doing here, Josh?” she demanded as she leaned the broom handle up against the wall. “And how did I not hear the bells on the door?”