"I plead your mercy, my prince."
"No, Aeris. My mercy is not sufficient. We are playing a dangerous game here in Alyria. Show this reaction in front of Rosten, and you might find yourself in his interrogation room."
I nodded. "I understand. But –"
"No." He gave my hands a squeeze so fierce, I winced. "You, my lovely fetchencarry, will stand by my side while I witness this thing. You will keep yourself without expression. Without emotion. And you will carry the sight of it in your mind forever."
"And what good will it serve?"
He didn't appear to take umbrage at my insolence. "It will serve the most good. It will make you unable to forget."
We walked the distance, on the street, without fanfare. We went alone. People lined the streets to watch us pass, but there was no cheering and throwing of flowers. By the time we got to the House of the Book, the crowd lining the streets had joined behind us and followed.
The building itself had been washed clean of its previous decorations. Not even a smudge remained. The stone platform in front of the building held a tall pole with piles of cut brush at the base. A black-cloaked form had been lashed to the base. The woman.
I followed Daelyn up the carved stone steps to the top of the platform, where Rosten waited surrounded by the other members of the Council of the Book. Rosten's cheeks were painted in hectic spots of red, and his eyes shone with barely suppressed glee. He'd dressed for the occasion in garments a bit less somber than his norm. He greeted Daelyn with a low, sweeping bow and gave me a sardonic smile.
"My prince," Rosten said.
"Lord Rosten." Daelyn sounded and looked bored. He gave a little wave of his hand. "Let's get this over with, shall we?"
"You came without the rest of your retinue today?" Rosten's beady eyes scanned the crowd, as though to seek them.
Daelyn yawned. "I believe Lord Akean went on a hunt outside the city walls with Lords Vermonte and Gilder. Lord Freet, as I'm sure you know, has gone to his estate in the country to spend the winter. As for the rest, I've no doubt they're otherwise occupied."
"I put out a decree that the whole of the city was to witness this burning." Rosten sounded more petulant than I'm sure he liked.
Daelyn gave him a raised eyebrow. "And it does seem as most of the common folk are here at your demand. Surely, my dear Lord Rosten, you don't mean to tell me you meant to command my men as well?"
Rosten had meant to do exactly that, I was certain, but he couldn't admit it. "Of course not, my prince."
"Good." Daelyn's smile was cold. "Because for a moment I feared you might be overstepping yourself."
Rosten gave another low bow. "Never, my prince."
"Let's move on with this, please. 'Tis chillsome."
"You'll feel warm enough when the blaze begins, I'll wager." gestured over his shoulder. "Lord Adamantane, please bring forth the charges against this creature."
The fat bastard Adamantane waddled forth with a scroll rolled between two ornate handles of carved ebony and gold. "My pleasure."
Rosten made another gesture. "Lord Simelbon, the evidence, if you please."
Simelbon lifted his bundle. No scroll for him. He carried a child.
The crowd muttered as he held up the babe for all to view. As the chill air hit it, the infant began to wail. Its thin cries rose into the gray sky.
Rosten began to read from the scroll. "This folly before you has committed the crime of insolence and dishonesty! She has given birth to a female child and declared it to be a son! And for this crime, the Council of the Book has ordered the punishment of death by burning! Let this be a lesson to all who watch!"
Beneath the cover of our fur cloaks, Daelyn's hand crept into mine and squeezed. Together, we watched one of Rosten's minions take the jug of oil and splash it on the brush. I stole a glance at Daelyn's face. His eyes were blank, his face in careful lines of inexpression. Only his hand, gripping mine to numbness, betrayed his true feelings.
"We give an additional warning to any who would try to dupe their betters," Rosten's strong voice carried out over the crowd but couldn't dampen the noise of infant's wailing. He gestured to Simelbon. "Give the child back to its mother."
Horrified, I almost stepped forward. Only Daelyn's strong grip stopped me. A nearly imperceptible nod of his head kept me still. I watched in mute horror as Simelbon gave the squalling baby to Rosten's man, who attached the child to the pole with more long strands of cord.
The child's cries had become frantic and choking. In the crowd, I saw many faces with the shadow of concern on them. From the women covered in their veils, I could see nothing.
I could no longer feel my fingers in Daelyn's grip. I wished I could feel nothing else. Tears burned my eyes but, mindful of Rosten's beady gaze upon me, I blinked and blinked until I forced them away. I kept my gaze blank, my face steady, but inside I was screaming. I couldn't watch but could not risk looking away.
Rosten himself stepped up to set fire to the brush. In moments, fed by the oil, flames licked at the black bundle squirming in its ties. Thick, black smoke mercifully obscured the sight, but it could not take away the sounds. I wanted desperately to clap my hands over my ears but could do nothing but stand and watch them murder the mother and her baby for the crime of wanting better for her child.
Beside me, Daelyn trembled though his face remained as blank as new parchment. I could see he wasn't really looking at the scene before us. He'd gone far away. I envied and hated him for that talent.
It seemed we stood forever in the cold air with the heat of the fire on our faces and the crowd hooting and stamping on the street below us. After a time, the screaming stopped and only the noise of the flames themselves came carried on the breeze. My fingers had gone from numbness to agony, but I didn't ask Daelyn to loosen his grip.
"Well, Rosten, if that's all," Dae said at last in a voice that belied the tension vibrating in every inch of his body.
Rosten seemed disappointed. "For now, my lord prince."
Daelyn gave a thin, insincere smile. "I'm sure you'll have this platform reeking like a country barbecue before long. Good day, Rosten."
The walk back to the White Palace was swift and unencumbered by citizens. We said nothing on the walk and went straight to his chambers. The heavy door slammed shut behind us. Daelyn let go of my hand and took several steps forward to shrug off his cloak. I cradled my throbbing hand with the other and worked the fingers to be certain they'd not broken from the strength of his grip. I was looking at myself, and so didn't see him make his way into the privy chamber, but the noise from inside drew my attention.
I ran to the doorway, then to where he'd fallen on his knees to the floor. "My prince! Are you all right?"
His teeth chattered like dice in a cup. I gathered him into my arms. At first he lay limp, as though dead or unconscious, but then his arms came around my neck and he gripped me like a drowning man.
I didn't know what to say, or what to do, and so I only held him, and stroked his hair, and murmured wordless sympathies. He continued to shake, and I rocked him in my arms, helpless to do anything else.
I felt a wet heat on my leg and shifted his weight, slight as it was. A crimson rose had bloomed upon my thigh, and the sight of it had me scrambling to pull him upright. "Daelyn!"
I helped him to stand and searched for the wound that could have so afflicted him. The blood was dark and thick. I put my hand low on his back, and it came away sticky and red. He'd stopped weeping, but the bleak look in his eyes worried me more than the tears had. He looked dead...or contemplating how to find death.
I reached for the laces at his throat and took his jacket from him. He didn't protest. I tossed the garment to the floor and pulled his shirt from the waist of his trousers. The tails were soaked with blood. I yanked the shirt over his head and left him in his undertunic while I fumbled at the laces of his waistband.
His fingers crept over mine and stopped me. "I'm not dying."
"But th
e blood –" I stopped, stunned into a realization I could not believe I'd only just made.
Daelyn put his fingers in his waistband and pushed his trousers off his hips. The briefs he wore beneath had also gone dark with blood. He lifted his undertunic over his head and stood before me without shame, his breasts smaller than mine and unbound. He pushed down his briefs, and I saw the path of the blood marking his thighs and tangling the pale thatch of hair between his thighs.
He was the same as me.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Daelyn put a hand between his legs and looked at the blood on his fingers. "The curse of women."
"Invisible Mother," I breathed, half in prayer, half in curse. "Does Lir know?"
Daelyn nodded slowly. "The only one who does. And now you. Now you understand why what happened today so affected me."
I realized I was shaking. "I didn't think....I never thought...."
"You didn't wonder what I meant when I said I understood you?"
I shook my head. "I never would have thought such a thing. When did you know about me?"
Daelyn bent and turned on the taps of the large tub. "I think I knew that day in the market, though of course I couldn't be certain. You make a fine lad."
I couldn't believe I found a smile, but I did. "But I didn't fool you."
"Only because I knew what ailed you that day, for I've felt it too. No man whose worst complaint is the trots after eating too much rich food can comprehend what the pain is like for a woman." At this, he grimaced and gripped the side of the tub while he pressed a hand to his belly. "If men had to go through this, the entire nation would shut down once a month."
I went and got a cloth and a basin of water from the sideboard and began to wipe away the drying blood on his back. His, for despite knowing the truth, I still thought of him as I did myself. We had been male too long to take on the feminine immediately.
"Does Lir know? About me?"
He looked at me over his shoulder. "I haven't told him, though I'd guess he suspects. It will be up to you to share your secret with him, if you trust him to keep it."
"You trust him."
"Ah, but I've known Lir since childhood. I love Lir, and know he loves me. He would never betray me."
"And me?" I helped Dae get into the tub and sink into the water. "Would he betray me, do you think?"
"Lir is loyal, and he is honest. But I can't promise he'd never betray you, if by doing so he accomplished something greater."
"Like what?"
Daelyn sighed as he sank up to his chin. "There's much at stake in Alyria. And Lir is part of that."
I washed his back in slow circles while I crouched by the side of the tub. "You have to let me help you."
He slid in the water to look at me. "Like you helped before? No."
I'd rather he slapped me. "Why not? You know my truth. I know yours. We fight for the same justice, Daelyn!"
"No, Aeris. It's far too dangerous." His blue eyes went steely gray. The weakness he'd shown before had faded, replaced by the Daelyn I'd come to know.
"You don't trust me." I got up from the tub and dried off my hands.
"Can you give me any reason why I should?"
I didn't like the sulk I felt on my face, but left it there. "If you doubted my loyalty you'd not have exposed your secret to me."
"I don't doubt your loyalty." Daelyn's voice was cold. "But you are headstrong. And there is too much at stake for you to just go in swinging your fists."
"Then why take me away from the market? Why bother with me at all?"
I'd asked the questions before. He gave me no better answer this time.
"I took you from there because I think you'll do great things."
"Then why not let me do them?" Frustration cracked my voice.
Daelyn sighed and closed his eyes as though in pain. "In time."
I might've said more, but the sound of Daelyn's chamber door opening had me going to the door. Lir stumbled in. He stank of lamp fuel, and soot marred his cheeks. He wore a crazed grin.
"Dae!" He stopped when he saw me.
When our eyes met, it was as though a spark of lightning crackled between them. The night we'd shared was hazy, but I couldn't forget it. Lir looked past me, into the privy chamber, and his brows met as he frowned. "Daelyn?"
Dae had wrapped himself in a plush robe. "I'm fine, Lir. Aeris and I have been...talking."
Lir looked from Dae to me, and back again. "He knows?"
"I know." I stepped further into the room. Once again they were discussing me as though I weren't there, and I couldn't stand it any longer.
Lir laughed aloud, though it was clear his humor did not come from what I'd said. He gripped Daelyn's arms and whirled him around in a merry jig that ended with Lir slipping on the wet floor and nearly falling. Daelyn extricated himself from Lir's grip.
"Control yourself, Lir! What by Sinder's Arrow have you been doing?"
"There is an effigy of Rosten burning on the platform in front of the House of the Book even as we speak. Every poetry house in the city is plastered with the latest poster, and hundreds of newsletters are stuffing every postbox in every home we could get to!"
"You worked fast." Daelyn smiled. "And were any of you caught?"
"Everyone was too caught up with the earlier burning to monitor the houses, and later, when Rosten sent all his men scurrying to tear down the parchments, he left the platform unattended. It was an easy task to put up the dummy and set it aflame."
"Do you think it will do any good?" I asked.
Both of them looked at me with surprise on their faces. Lir's eyes narrowed. Daelyn's looked assessing.
"And what do you know about it?" Lir challenged.
I hadn't meant my words to poke him, not when I could still swallow and taste him on my tongue. His tone riled me, though, and made me respond in temper.
"I mean do you think these papers are really going to change the way most men think? Do you think burning Rosten in effigy is going to do anything but make him redouble his efforts?"
Lir began to speak, but Daelyn held up a hand for him to stay silent. It chafed him, I could see that, but he obeyed. Dae pointed to me.
"Rosten plans to take over the provinces, one by one and then put himself upon the throne of Alyria." I bit my lower lip. "If you don't spawn a son soon, Dae, he's going to urge the council to name him King instead."
"You heard him say this?" Dae's voice was like ice. "The first part, yes. Not the second. But I can guess that."
"The lad is shrewd." Dae looked at Lir, whose mad grin had disappeared. "And he's right. We need more than taunts and name calling to raise this rebellion. Rosten's gaining too much power."
"This can't be a game any more," I said. "If it ever was."
"How can you ask me that?" Daelyn pulled open his robe and exposed himself to my eyes. "When you know what I am? How could this be anything more serious to me? This is my life!"
"It's more than just your life," I told him. "It's the life of every woman in Alyria."
"You think I don't know that?" He sounded broken and bleak again. Tears glistened in his eyes. "You stood beside me today and watched that woman and her child burn. I know what's at stake here, Aeris. And I also know we can't change a hundred years of history overnight. Maybe not even in this lifetime."
"If you don't hope to do it in this life time," I asked bitterly, "what do you hope to do?"
I couldn't stand to look at either of them any more. I fled Daelyn's chambers, not heeding his cry for me to return. My feet pounded the marble corridors, and my breath pounded in my lungs. I was crying, my vision blurred, but still I ran, out into the falling night where the frigid air dashed the tears from my cheeks and made me gasp for breath.
The night had turned cold, real cold, not just a chill. I wouldn't be surprised to see frost painting the windows in the morning. The running had warmed me enough so I barely shivered, but I knew if I stopped moving the cold would cut through me like a kn
ife.
Just inside the fight gate I saw a dim shape that looked familiar. I moved closer. Ichabod had left the weapons rack outside. The negligence would surely earn him a beating, but I was thankful for his lack of attention. I needed this now.
I lifted a rapier from one of the pegs and let my wrist twist the blade through the air so swiftly it made a thin noise. I slashed, then thrust. It felt good to move my muscles, to work them in the regular patterns of the fight. I set my stance and began from the Standing Crane, then moved swiftly through the motions of the Leaping Tiger and Laughing Monkey.
With no light but that from the stars, I felt shielded. Safe. I felt powerful with the blade in my hand and the strength of my body performing its rituals. Nobody could take that from me, not Rosten and his Council of the Book. Not Lir with his damned mocking eyes. Not Daelyn with his lack of trust.