“Hi, honey. How was your day?” She greeted Rand cheerfully, belying the discomfort of her aching muscles. Her eyes narrowed as they fell on Carl. She could tell Rand of her foolishness herself; Carl didn’t need to do it for her.
“I’m fine,” Rand answered shortly. “What’s this Carl is telling me about you working outside all day?”
“It wasn’t all day,” she denied, and winced from a shooting pain in her back. “It seems certain people are cursed with loose tongues around here. Isn’t that right, Carl?”
The older man shuffled his feet, avoiding her eyes. “I’ll be going home now.” He turned to leave, but not before Karen saw the smile that crinkled the crow’s-feet about his eyes.
Karen moved closer to Rand, wrapping her arms around his waist, then groaned softly. “Kiss me if you must, but please be gentle.”
Rand scowled. “You crazy little fool. What were you doing, shoveling hard dirt?” He was both bemused and angry. He released her, and instantly Karen missed the warmth of his touch.
“I thought I’d plant a garden,” she explained, flexing her overworked muscles, then flinching because even the slightest movement hurt. “My mother had a big garden every year. I don’t think I ever realized how much work she put into it. The most I did was pull weeds. Believe me, I appreciate her efforts more fully now.”
“If you wanted a garden, why didn’t you say something?” he questioned, the irritation leaving his face. “I could have had someone come and rototill for you.” He brought her back into the circle of his arms, his fingers gently rubbing the back of her neck.
His touch did insane things to her equilibrium, and she swayed against him. “I don’t know,” she responded huskily, her eyes closed, savoring the gentle caress of his hands. “I forgot, I guess.” Clear thinking was almost impossible when Rand was holding her like this. His hands molded over her buttocks, lifting her pliant body against him. “Don’t stop,” she pleaded.
Rand’s voice was low and husky as he murmured against her skin. “I have no intention of stopping.”
Karen gave a sighing laugh. “I was referring to the massage. I could use a good rubdown.”
With soft kisses, Rand closed her eyes. Again, the pressure of his arms increased as he lifted and carried her into the bedroom.
His fingers were soothing and gentle as he manipulated the sore muscles. Her flesh responded to the overwhelming comfort of his touch. She was encompassed in warmth; a fury of sensation assaulted her, and she yearned to roll over and bring his mouth to hers. Anything to satisfy this aching void he was creating within her. A small cry of pleasure slipped from her parted lips. But if Rand knew what he was doing to her, he ignored her plea until she released another soft moan.
His hand settled over her shoulder to gently turn her. Karen stared for a moment at the intensity that burned from his eyes. “You know what I want,” he murmured thickly before lowering his mouth to hers.
A long time later, they rested, Karen’s head nestled in the crook of Rand’s arm. His fingers continued to explore her body by leisurely tracing an imaginary line around her breasts. The rounded flesh seemed to swell at his caress.
The meandering pattern followed down her abdomen. “I believe you’re gaining weight.”
“I know.” She smiled, leisurely reveling in the power of his touch to arouse her. “It’s Dorothy’s recipes, but if you notice it, too, then it’s time to go on a diet.”
“Just as long as you only abstain from food,” he whispered, claiming her mouth in a searing kiss that left her breathless.
Rand’s breathing wasn’t any more even, and when he spoke, there was a hoarse quality to his voice. “I have some news.”
“Good or bad?”
A smile lifted the corners of his full mouth. “I’ll let you decide. I’ve been asked to participate in a lecture series across the country. The schedule isn’t completed yet, but I imagine I’ll be gone two, possibly three weeks.”
The smile died on Karen’s face, and she closed her eyes to block the loneliness a long separation would bring. Tears burned for release, and she brushed them away, angry with herself for being so emotional. “Will Cora be with you?” she questioned after a while.
“Of course Cora will be with me.” His voice held a mocking note. “We are partners, you know.”
“I thought we were partners, too? Remember me? I’m the wife you promised to love and cherish. I don’t exactly relish twiddling my thumbs for several weeks while you go gallivanting across the country with another woman.”
A scowl darkened Rand’s face. “Karen, this isn’t like you. Cora isn’t another woman in the sense you’re implying.”
“Not from lack of trying, I bet,” she snapped childishly, pulling herself from his arms and sitting upright.
“Karen?” Rand’s voice held a puzzled note. His hands slipped over her shoulders to bring her back. “As for us being partners, if you recall …”
Abruptly, Karen twisted away. “Are you going to throw the fact you didn’t want to marry me in my face every time we have an argument? You don’t need to tell me your feelings on the matter. Believe me, actions speak louder than words.”
“Karen, would you kindly listen to me?” he demanded, his mouth thinning angrily.
With her back facing him, she responded stiffly, “I’m listening.”
“You could have fooled me,” Rand murmured under his breath. Then he began again slowly. “Now, what I’ve been trying to say is this: Cora and I have been invited to participate in a lecture series. We have accepted the invitation. But there is no reason why you should stay here without me. I want you to accompany me on this trip.”
“Oh.” The anger drained from her all in one breath. “Oh,” she said again, feeling chagrined and stupid. What was the matter with her? Why was she acting like such a shrew? “In that case, I’d like to do two things,” she said softly, swallowing her pride. “First, I want to apologize for being so hotheaded, and second, I want you to know how very pleased I’d be to travel with you.”
“Good,” Rand said simply, holding her again.
Suddenly Karen came to the realization that Rand was trusting her now as he’d never done before.
Karen woke the next morning stiff and more than a little sore. When she started to get out of bed, she moaned as her stomach heaved unsteadily. Lying back against the pillow, she took deep breaths, afraid she would be sick.
“Rand,” she murmured tightly, “I think I really must have done too much yesterday. I feel awful.”
Tenderly, he brushed the hair from her face and kissed her forehead. “Stay in bed. I’ll phone later and see how you’re feeling.”
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me. Oh, if I’m not here, don’t worry. Judy and I are taking the boys to Point Defiance Zoo. I’d hate to disappoint them.”
“They can make the trip without you,” Rand said, tucking in his shirt. His brow was knit with concern.
“I won’t go unless I feel better,” she promised.
Rand’s kiss was gentle as he tucked the blankets over her shoulders.
Karen watched him go, her heart full of love. After several weeks of married life, she was beginning to discover the joys and benefits of being Rand’s wife. As he claimed, his hours were often long as he worked with Cora on a textbook they were compiling. Karen often waited up for him on the sofa, sometimes falling asleep. She’d been so tired lately. Rand woke her, rousing her by spreading tender kisses over her face. Drowsily, Karen would loop her arms around his neck and direct him to her moist lips. The evenings he was home, Karen would read aloud while they sat together, Rand’s arms securely wrapped around her. Their taste in literature was surprisingly similar, and they explored everything from Kipling to Tolkien. In bed, she desired him as much as he desired her. Rand was the perfect lover, patient, tender, coaxing. They never spoke of the reasons for their marriage, but it was almost as if their love and need for each other had brought them together.
> After a two-hour tour of the zoo and park, they were all hungry and tired. Dark clouds began rolling in to threaten the picnic that had been planned and packed so carefully.
“I wanna stay,” Carter objected, ignoring the first drops of rain.
“We aren’t going to let a little rain stop us, are we?” James echoed his dissatisfaction.
A few intermittent drops quickly became a fierce downpour, and the four ran to the parking lot without further discussion.
“I still want to have a picnic.” Carter’s voice dripped with disappointment as he climbed into the backseat of the car.
“Let’s wait a few minutes; maybe it’ll stop,” Karen offered encouragingly. “If not, we’ll have a special picnic at my house.”
“All right!” both boys chimed.
“If we’re going to wait here, I’ll pour us some coffee.” Judy opened the top of the thermos, and Karen’s stomach pitched at the aroma.
She shook her head dismissively. “None for me, thanks. I don’t know what it is, but coffee doesn’t agree with my stomach lately.”
Judy jerked her head up, and the liquid sloshed over the side of the cup and onto the seat. “Karen,” she whispered in disbelief, eyeing her sister intently, “the first few months I was pregnant with James, I couldn’t tolerate the taste or smell of coffee. I knew almost immediately when I was going to have Carter because the same thing happened. Even before the doctor confirmed my condition.”
Karen gave a low laugh. “Well, I’m not pregnant. In fact, I’m sure I’m not,” she said, more to assure herself than Judy. “Oh, heavens! Rand would be furious.”
“What’s pregnant?” Carter questioned, leaning over from the backseat.
“I’ll explain later,” Judy promised, studying Karen’s worried expression.
A half-hour later, the four were positioned under Karen’s dining-room table, eating their lunch, when Rand entered through the front door.
“Karen, I’m home,” he announced, shaking the rain off his umbrella.
Normally, Karen was there to greet Rand, but James and Carter were intent on playing a game of hide-and-seek.
“I’m here,” squeaked James in an attempt to imitate Karen.
“James? Carter? Okay, boys, what tricks are you up to now? I suppose you’ve got your aunt tied up outside somewhere.” He arched an amused brow toward the sound of their voices.
“Rand’s certainly got my boys pegged,” Judy whispered.
“We’re under the table.” Karen laughed as she watched his dark trousered leg walk toward her.
“Under the what?”
“Come and join us; we’re having a picnic,” Judy explained, stifling her own laughter.
“It’s times like these that make me wonder just exactly what kind of a family I married into.” His face was smiling as he knelt down. “Just what will be required of me before I can talk to my wife?” he quizzed suspiciously.
“I’m here, Rand.” Karen edged her way between bodies, sandwiches, and Number Nine to meet her husband. “Sit down and make yourself at home,” she invited, and placed a welcoming kiss on his puzzled brow.
“May I remind you, I am home!” Humor glinted briefly in his expression. “I’m almost afraid to ask this, but just why are you eating your lunch under the table?”
“Because it’s raining,” the boys explained simultaneously.
“True,” he reasoned, “but not inside the house.”
“Well, it wouldn’t be a picnic on top of the table, would it?” Karen asked him with an impatient sigh.
“There’s logic in this someplace, but I swear it’s beyond me.” The humor in his smile held a wealth of love and warmth.
Karen regarded him curiously. “You’re home awfully early. Is anything wrong?”
“Can’t a husband come home early? May I remind you we’ve only been married a short while.” His husky voice held a suggestive note, and Karen flushed.
“Finish your lunch, boys.” Judy tipped her head back and winked knowingly at her sister. “It’s time we left.”
“There’s no need to rush,” Karen said, but she didn’t insist they stay. Rand was rarely home early, and she selfishly wanted him to herself.
The picnic items were quickly packed while the boys protested. Judy ushered them out the door, and it suddenly became very quiet without the chatter of the two boys.
“Would you like some lunch? Are you hungry?” Rand stood beside her, and she turned, sliding her arms around his middle. Tilting her head back, she watched his expression alter.
“Starving.” His mouth explored the side of her neck and sent shivers of delight shooting down her body.
“What would you like?” She melted against him, her heart thundering wildly.
“Don’t ask silly questions,” he whispered before claiming her mouth in a flaming kiss that left her weak and clinging. When he led her into their bedroom, Karen had no intention of protesting.
The nagging suspicion Karen was pregnant became a reality as the days passed. She’d refused to acknowledge the early signs, but there could be no denying the slight thickening of her waist or the added fullness of her breasts. Now it wasn’t only coffee that upset her stomach; the smell of certain foods, especially bacon, would cause her to wretch. She found herself irritable, and it didn’t seem to matter how much sleep she got, for she was constantly tired.
The first morning she lost her breakfast was the day Karen accepted the truth. Deathly pale and still nauseated, she staggered back to the bedroom and lay down.
With her arms cradling her stomach, she closed her eyes and let out a low moan of despair. “No, please, God, no.” Rand would never believe she hadn’t purposely gotten pregnant. The knowledge was sure to destroy the budding trust between them. She had worked so hard to gain his confidence in her integrity. How would she ever tell him? No possible explanation would make things right. And his reaction would defy comprehension.
Forcing herself to dress, she brushed her teeth, still feeling wretched and miserable. Her reflection in the bathroom mirror told her she looked as rotten as she felt.
Her sister had advised her to make an appointment with the doctor as soon as possible. But Karen had delayed, hoping against Las Vegas odds that she had some weird, unexplainable virus. Some virus, she mused. Her fingers trembled when she made the call. She wouldn’t say anything to Rand until she was sure. His mother was coming for a visit, and she couldn’t tell him before then.
Depression as heavy as Karen had ever experienced weighed on her. A baby. She found her hands resting on her abdomen while a myriad of emotions filled her all at once. A gentle smile touched her lips. A baby. This should be one of the most glorious days of her life, knowing that the love they shared had created this life growing within her.
Love. What a strange emotion, but not really an emotion at all; more an act of the will. Certainly it wasn’t anything she could define. Did Rand really love her? Could she be totally secure in his love? He desired her physically. Was that love? He had accused and doubted her regarding their marriage. Was that love? As sure as the sun would rise on the morrow, he would doubt her again when he learned of this pregnancy. Was that love?
Hiding her symptoms from Rand became a worrisome game. The mornings she was especially ill, she would complain of being overly tired and stay in bed. Rand would lovingly accuse her of being lazy. Karen watched him dress, praying he’d hurry while she took deep breaths to delay the inevitable. The minute he was out the door, Karen would rush to the bathroom to empty her stomach.
Judy recommended eating soda crackers before rising in the morning to relieve the nausea. But when Rand complained of crumbs between the sheets and accused her of cheating on her diet, Karen laughed and promised not to eat in bed again.
A hundred times, she was grateful Rand couldn’t see her. One look at her pale, bloodless cheeks and he would have guessed her condition immediately. That he hadn’t put the facts together knotted Karen’s stomach with guil
t. His trust in her had become so complete that he didn’t even suspect.
Karen was sure Carl knew. More than once she found his eyes following her, his look concerned and worried. She wasn’t sure if he was anxious because she was obviously having such a bad time with the morning sickness or if he realized what this child would do to her and Rand’s relationship. Either way, her eyes silently pleaded with him not to say anything. The look he returned assured her that he would not betray a confidence.
There was another problem Karen had yet to resolve. Number Nine was obviously pregnant.
“But Carl,” Karen had protested, “I thought you said you’d taken her to the vet and everything had been taken care of.”
“All her shots.” Carl looked away nervously. “Number Nine was just a kitten then, and the vet wanted to wait a few weeks before having her spayed. I assumed you realized that. I’m sorry, Miss Karen.”
She sighed in defeat. She couldn’t be angry with Carl; it hadn’t been his fault. If she hadn’t been so wrapped up in her own problems, she would have known something was wrong when all the male cats started prowling around.
“Don’t worry, Carl,” she reassured him with a weak smile. “I’m sure Rand will understand.”
“I’m sure he will, too,” Carl told her, and Karen had the funny feeling he wasn’t referring to the cat.
“But I don’t understand how it could have happened.” Karen’s eyes pleaded with the doctor.
“It’s not unusual for a pregnancy to occur even with the appropriate precautions, but judging from the look of things, I’d say you were already pregnant when you came for your first visit.” Dr. Marshall offered Karen a reassuring smile. Since she was obviously so upset with her condition, he took the time to talk with her and answer her questions in a gentle, reassuring manner.
“Already pregnant?” Karen stared back in disbelief.
“I’m afraid so. I’d guess you were close to three months pregnant.”
“Three months?” she whispered incredulously. Had she been so obtuse that she had not recognized even the most obvious signs? Dazed and unsure, Karen responded to the remainder of the appointment with little more than feeble nods.