way!"
She pulled at Toby's arm, and drew him towards the entrance to HydePark. Her arm was hugging his, her body pressed against Toby's. Onlywhen they were out of that circle of light did she feel safe, appeased,able to think with any of her old clearness. She had been a frightenedchild. Now she was an exultantly happy one, given over to the great joyof the moment.
ix
They were immediately lost in the darkness of the Park, hidden from all,and oblivious of the flashing lamps of vehicles which drove endlessly upthe broad road from Piccadilly. And Sally was in Toby's arms, straininghim to her, sobbing and uttering little sounds of love and relief.
"Hullo, hullo!" cried Toby, jerking her chin up with a rough hand.
"I thought you'd never come! I thought you wouldn't come!" whisperedSally. "Oh, Toby, I thought you'd never come!" She was hysterical in herjoy.
"Course I come!" exclaimed Toby. "Wodjer take me for?"
"Well, _I_ didn't know." Sally was quite unguarded. "Thought you mighthave...." She checked herself. Her body was shaken with a little thrillof laughter--laughter of silly joy. She hugged him closer. "Been away along time this time," she said. "Quite a sailor, ain't you?... Did youhave rough weather? Ship all sloppy with the waves? And you dancingabout to keep your feet?"
"It's _always_ rough weather," gloried Toby. "Sea goin' all the time.But she's a daisy to keep steady. Wouldn't hardly notice you wasmoving."
"_I'm_ sure!" cried Sally, ironically. "And you and the captain chattingtogether in the cabin, and all."
"No." Toby was condescending under chaff. "But we're quite.... Skipper,he's called. You don't call him captain. He's just like me. He's nobetter; only he...."
"Only he knows how to sail a boat," mocked Sally.
"So do I. I sailed her up the river." He was recklessly and untruthfullyboastful, as instinct told her.
"_I_ should think so." Sally's voice was so jeering that it laughed hispretensions to nothing at all. "And then you woke up."
Toby became expostulatory. But all the time Sally was not listening. Shewas not thinking of his words at all; but was only conscious of the warmglow running through her at his nearness and his strong clasp. Every nowand then she prompted him to kiss her; and when Toby kissed her shefelt as though she did not know what unhappiness was. He was so strong,and his chin so firm and rough; and he had such an air of the salt seaabout him, that she was like a baby at the breast. She loved him. Nothought of Gaga came. Only the moment's delight absorbed them both.
Presently they began to walk along the dark path, Toby's arm stillpressing Sally to his side, and his head every now and then almostsavagely down against her hair. The small hat she had worn was takenoff, and was carried, swinging. Sally was so small and so comparativelyweak beside Toby's burly strength that she was all the time relishinghis power entirely to subdue her; and her wits were so quick that shenever had a moment's hesitation as to the right way to tease him. Shewas without any least sensation of unhappiness. She had never been soglad of Toby since their first exulting days of passion, and her wholenature was bubbling and trembling towards him in the old way, as if theyhad come together again after some long dreadful estrangement.
And then Sally remembered Gaga. She had been laughing so much in herselfat this long evening of freedom, that the recollection was like ice toher heart. It was all a mockery, a fantasy; and Toby was no more hers.She was separated from him for ever, and the more closely she wasembraced by him the less she felt herself free to belong to him. Arevulsion of feeling shook her. With an instinctive movement almostsavage, she escaped from his arm and walked onward, her face set and herspirits banished.
"No," she cried, when Toby sought to re-establish his protective hold.She was as if deep in thought; but in fact she was not thinking at all,but was only overwhelmed by the old horror of her situation which hadnewly arisen after this short respite of dreaming. Toby let her walkalone, and lighted a cigarette, slouching beside her with his hands inthe pockets of his jacket. He was a dim hunched figure in the gloom.Sally could not see him clearly; her sense of him was simply of hisstrength and his responsiveness to her own physical inclinations. Thesense evoked in her heart longing which made Sally bow her head. Shesighed deeply; her fixed eyes were closed. She was quite blind. For aninstant she was lost in grave humility. Her smile in the darkness heldsuch sweetness that it gave proof of her true love, her beautiful andentranced adoration.
"What time you got to be back?" Toby abruptly questioned in amatter-of-fact tone. It was like the unexpected tearing of calico, sosharply did such a demand break the vision and show his insensitivenessto her mood.
"Back?" Sally was dazed. She could not understand Toby's speech. "Backwhere?" She had an extraordinary feeling of shock. Her peace wasdestroyed.
"To-night."
Sally caught her breath. In a strained tone that sounded, as she meantit to sound, as though she had been merely inattentive, she made answer:
"Oh, I.... I'm going home to-night. Holloway. Stopping with mother."
Toby had looked at his watch before throwing his match away.
"It's ha' parce eight," he mentioned.
A fierceness shook Sally. It was more than she could bear. She turnedupon him in a fury. With such a snarling venom did she speak that Tobydrew himself almost defensively to his full height.
"Don't let me keep you!" she cried. "I didn't know you were in a hurry.If you want to go home, _go_. Go!" She ended almost in a scream, andher fists were frantically jerked.
"Here!" Toby was disconcerted. "What you talking about? I only said thetime." He seized her, and Sally struggled as of old. But she could notresist him. There was too great a discrepancy in their strength, and intheir will, when her own will so dangerously betrayed her. Toby held hercloser and closer. His grip was tyrannic. Sally's breath was short,sobbing; her eyes were again closed, and her lips tragically pressedtogether. Her face might have been marble. And as he held her fast, Tobyforced back Sally's head and many times kissed her hotly andpossessively. "What's the row?" he demanded. She heard the savagery ofhis tone, and felt his warm breath on her cheek; and some undertone ofhis husky voice vibrated in her ear. "Ain't you well, Sal?" hewhispered. "I never meant I wanted to go home. I don't. You know that. Ionly said the time. Only ... how long had we got? Sally, old girl...."
"All right, all right!" Sally did not know what she was saying. Herbrows were knitted in distraction. Then: "Oh, any old time...." And asshe spoke temptation suddenly swept her with a tingling heat, and hermouth was dry and her body tense with the excitement of the overwhelmingmoment. Her heart beat so fast that she was quite breathless. With animpulse too strong for resistance she returned her lips to Toby's,half-crying, and in vehement surrender. She could see no further, couldendure no more. At the withdrawal she cried gaspingly: "I needn't ...needn't go home at all ... to-night. Nobody ... expects me. Toby!"
x
In the morning Sally awoke with a heavy heart. Foreboding was moregloomy than she had ever known it. The hotel bedroom in which they hadslept was very small, and the walls towered above her. It was a dirtyroom, and the bright sunlight that came through the slats of the blindsrevealed the thick London dust in the curtains and on the walls. Tobywas by her side, fast asleep. She had no sense of wrong-doing--it nevertroubled Sally, who judged her own conduct by exceptional standards; butshe was again full of fear. Lightly she touched Toby's thick stronghair, and kissed it, half raised from her pillow; and bending over him.Her love was undiminished, but her fear of him was suddenly increased.And as she withdrew her hand and sat upright she caught sight of thewedding-ring which she had taken from her purse and slipped onto herfinger before they reached the hotel. They had come without luggage, andit had been an impulse of caution which had led her to wear the ring.Slowly she turned it round and round upon her finger, not recalling thatit was Gaga's ring, not considering her use of it an added dishonour toGaga, but looking at it abstractedly. The ring meant so much, and solittle. Her marriage had meant so much
and so little. A faint smilestole to her lips and played about them.
A stirring of Toby's body made her glance quickly down. His eyes wereopen, and he was staring solemnly at her. His hair was all roughened,and his dark face was puffed with sleep. He looked like her big baby,irresistibly lovable. The smile deepened; but she did not speak. Shemade no movement at all; and Toby, stretching out a lazy arm, put itround her waist.
"Ugh!" he said, grunting with satisfaction. With calm pleasure sheenjoyed the knowledge of his great muscular strength; but she did notrespond to him