“Mack?” I call, as he moves to the door. He looks back at me. “Thank you.”
He nods and glances at Dad quickly before saying, “Ice your eye, sweetheart. It’s swollen.”
Then he’s gone.
My heart is relieved.
For now.
~*~*~*~
“Fuck, I hate that you were hurt when I wasn’t around,” Diesel says, curling me onto his lap.
We’re sitting outside on an old chair, me tucked into his body, his arms around me, holding me close. It feels strange to have him here, considering my dad and I were fighting so heavily about it yesterday, but I guess situations have forced his hand, and maybe my dad realized that keeping me away from Diesel was only going to make me run to him more.
“I wasn’t expecting it,” I tell him. “It came out of the blue. It was awful.”
“Lucky your dad got there first, because I would have fuckin’ killed those pricks.”
I nestle into him deeper. “I don’t want you to get hurt for me.”
“I’d die for you, Mercedes.”
I look at him, and his eyes flash. He’s serious. My heart melts, and I cup his face, pressing my lips to his and kissing him softly. The kiss lasts a good, long, amazing few minutes and when we pull back, I know one thing for certain. I want him. So bad it hurts.
“I want you,” I whisper.
“Fuck, me too.”
I glance around and although at this point there are no people out here, there are people everywhere inside the house – one of them could come out at any second. This chair outside is the only place we have been able to find privacy. My dad is not letting us up to my room together, understandably.
“How long is it going to be before I get you alone again?” I say, running my lips down his neck.
“Don’t do that, baby, or I’ll take you right here, and I’m very certain your dad would gut me.”
I chuckle against his skin, and he shivers. “You’re right about that.” I shift on his lap, and the bulge of his cock presses right against my core. We both make a moaning sound.
“Stop,” he warns, his voice low. “I have no control right now.”
“I want you,” I whisper against his ear, nipping at the lobe.
“You can’t have me, so you need to stop wigglin’ against my dick.”
God. “If you keep talking like that, it’ll only make it worse.”
He grunts. “Don’t think it can get any worse. Right now, I’m tempted to pull that dress aside and plunge my cock deep inside you.”
I shiver, and shift on his lap.
“Mercedes,” he warns. “Gotta stop, baby.”
“What’ll happen if I don’t?” I breathe, wiggling a little more.
“I’ll come, and I’m fairly certain I don’t have a way of explaining that to your parents.”
He has a point.
I stop wiggling. “How are we going to get through the next few days?”
“It’s goin’ to suck, but rest assured, as soon as I have you alone, I’m going to fuck you until my name becomes a permanent fixture on your lips.”
I shiver.
“My girl likes that.”
I pull back and kiss him again. “Your girl likes that.”
“Good.”
I sit a few more minutes and when he’s calmed down, I climb off his lap.
“I gotta go and check in with my dad,” he says, standing and adjusting himself. “I’ll come back tonight, yeah?”
I frown. “You really have to go?”
“Need to make sure everything is good, baby.”
I nod. “I understand.”
“You need to rest and get more ice on that eye.”
“Just admit it,” I say, tucking myself into his side. “The reason you’re not fucking me is because I look like a plum.”
He chuckles. “I’d fuck you if you looked like a prune.”
I giggle. “I’m happy to know that.”
He looks down at me, a slight smile on his lips. “Later, baby.”
“Bye, honey.”
His eyes warm, and he brushes a kiss over my lips before disappearing out of my back gate. I watch him go and stand, just staring at the empty space for a while.
“Where’s he gone?”
I turn and see Max standing at the back door, watching the empty space too. “He went home.”
He comes and stands beside me. “You really do love him, don’t you?”
I glance at him. “Yeah, I really do.”
“Happy for you, kid.”
I reach over and take his hand. “Thank you, Max.”
“Not happy he’s a member of another club, but happy you found something that makes you smile like that.”
I squeeze. “I know.”
“You wanna come inside? We ordered pizza.”
“Sounds good.”
He leads me inside, his hand still in mine.
How lucky I am to have so many people who love me.
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
“So, Diesel is so freaking hot!” Skye grins, kicking back, beer in hand, after we’re all done with the pizza.
“Right?” I smile.
“And his dad . . .” Ava sighs.
Lucas nudges her, and she grins at him. “Sorry, honey. It’s true, though.”
I grin at them. “Yeah, he’s got something special, that’s for sure.”
“It’s those eyes,” Skye adds. “Mysterious with that Native American slant. Yum.”
“You done?” Danny mutters at her. “Would you like to describe his body next?”
“I haven’t experienced that; you’ll have to ask Mercedes.” She smirks at him.
He glares at her. I laugh.
“You two need to just go and get it on already,” Ava says to them. “Seriously. Sexual tension is burning my eyeballs.”
I snort-laugh and Max grins.
Danny shoots her a glare. “You’re not protected enough for me not to squash, ant.”
She blows him a kiss, and Lucas chuckles. “Stop messin’ with the man, kid.”
“You’re no fun.”
I smile at them and stand. “You guys want more beer?”
“Sure,” they all say.
I’m not drinking, but I’ve been pitching in to do the rounds to the fridge. I move into the kitchen and see my mom and dad standing by the counter, his arms around her, making her look so tiny against him. I smile. They’ve always been like this—so beautiful, so in love. I could never imagine Dad ever loved someone else because it seems Mom has his entire heart.
“You two have a room, you know?” I say playfully.
Mom steps back, and her eyes come to me. She’s been crying. I stop and study her face. She’s looking at me as if she’s about to tell me my best friend is dead. I look to Dad; he’s giving me the same look. My heart drops into my stomach and my hands fall flat by my sides.
“Mom?” I whisper.
“Honey, I have to tell you something.”
“Mom,” I say, more frantically this time.
“It’s . . . it’s about Diesel.”
My knees start to shake, and I feel as though someone is running circles in my head, slamming from side to side.
“Mom,” I whisper, my voice too wobbly to be used.
“When he left earlier . . .” Her voice cracks.
No.
“Mom!” I say this far more frantically.
“He was shot, baby,” Dad says.
My knees tremble, and I curl my fingers around the kitchen counter to stop myself going down. Pain unlike anything I’ve ever felt explodes in my chest, and I don’t realize I’m screaming out for answers until Dad’s arms go around me. “He’s in surgery. It’s bad. Don’t know if he’s gonna make it, but we’re all prayin’ he will.”
No.
No.
No.
I shove back and spin, running towards the door.
“Mercedes, no!” Mom cries. “You can’t go.”
“Mouse, stop!”
I lunge towards the front door but Danny steps in front of it. I slam into his big body and he catches me, taking a wobbly step back.
“Let me go,” I scream. “Danny, let me go to him.”
Danny’s arms tighten around me. I can’t get out of them. “Not lettin’ you go, Mercy. You want to, I get that, but it’s dangerous.”
“He’s hurt,” I sob. “Please let me go!”
“Can’t do that.”
Mom steps up beside us and turns her key in the door, effectively locking me in. I shove out of Danny’s arms and spin to my dad. “What happened? Dad . . . what happened?”
“Don’t know, baby. I just got the call. He got out of his car at his dad’s house, and someone shot him.”
“Where?” I sob.
“Chest.”
“Daddy,” I wail, my knees finally going out from beneath me. He catches me as I fall, but I don’t know what happens after that. I black out.
~*~*~*~
I wake with my cheek pressed against a leather jacket. My eyes flutter and I shift, realizing it’s my dad still. My head pounds as I push up and see Dad, mom and Danny surrounding me. My dad steadies me, and I have to blink my good eye a few times to get my bearings. I’m on the sofa, half sitting up, my body slumped against my dad’s.
Reality hits me like a sledgehammer to the chest when I remember why I’m in this position.
Diesel.
“No,” I croak.
“It’s goin’ to be okay, Mouse,” Dad says carefully. “You gotta trust that.”
“Someone shot him. He was just here and—” My voice breaks.
“Believe he’ll get through.”
“H-h-h-has anyone called?”
“Jaylah called a couple of minutes ago. He’s still in surgery.”
Vomit rises in my throat, and I lean forward, curling my arms around my waist and taking a few steady, broken breaths. If Diesel dies . . . no. I can’t think of that. I can’t. Imagining life without him is something I’m not willing to do. He has to pull through. I have to believe in him. In us. In something bigger than everything.
“Nothin’ you can do,” Dad says carefully. “But we’ll find out as much as we can, okay?”
“If he pulls through, can I see him?”
I look to him, tears in my eyes. He swipes them away. “Yeah, course.”
He stands up and my mom sits down beside me. She tucks me into her arms and I let her, my mind travelling to Diesel. Who would hurt him like that? He’s never done anything wrong. He’s never even wanted to be part of the club, and yet someone so easily tried to take his life. This . . . this is exactly why he doesn’t want any part in it, and I’m starting to think I agree wholeheartedly with him.
“Mom?” I ask.
“Yes, honey?”
“How do you do it?”
“Do what?”
“Live this life. Feel what I’m feeling right now. How do you do it?”
She sighs and rubs my arms. “It isn’t easy, believe me. It takes a long time to get used to the fact that things can go wrong at any second. In a sense, it’s kind of like being married to a cop. You never know if someone is going to hurt them, or if they’re going to come home. The only thing you have is every second that’s given to you, and you learn to love each moment.”
“I don’t know if I could be as strong as you.”
“I nearly lost your dad once—you know that. It was the hardest moment of my life. I completely understand how you feel, but if you love someone, you somehow find a way to accept everything they are.”
“This life never scared me until now.”
“There are bad people in the world, honey. You don’t have to be part of a biker club to experience what you’re going through.”
She’s right about that. I nod and push to my feet, letting her arms fall from around me. “I need . . . I just need some time alone.”
“We’re here if you need us,” she says, her eyes so full of concern it hurts to look into them.
“I know. Thank you.”
I glance at everyone who is watching me wearily, and then turn and walk up the stairs. Each step seems to add weight to my aching, tired body. I trudge up the stairs and strip out of my clothes the second I reach the bathroom. I pull them off and get under the hot shower. There, I let more tears fall, more agonized, broken tears for the man I love.
Then I pray.
Because someone needs to help him get through.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
I run down the hall, my feet squeaking on the tiles as I dash towards the door that leads into Diesel’s room. We got a call twenty minutes ago that he was out of surgery and awake. It was the best call of my life, and I’ve been crying since I got it. My cheeks are soaked with my tears as I rush through the door and see him in the bed, tubes coming out of his body. He looks so weak in there, like anything could harm him and he’d have no defense.
He turns and looks to me, and I sob loudly.
I’ve been waiting for this call for twelve hours. I only got it after his family had seen him, and he was fully awake and ready to see people. Jaylah called me the second they gave permission for me to come in, and I wasn’t going to wait a minute longer. I rush towards his bed and reach for his hand, taking it in mine. He’s a little cold, his skin pale, but he’s looking at me with a glassy redness to his eyes that I understand.
“I thought I lost you,” I whisper, leaning down and putting my forehead to his. “Oh Diesel, I thought you were gone.”
“I’m here,” he croaks.
“I love you. I didn’t say it when you left, and I should have. I should have said it the second I knew it was how I felt and every day after. Please.” I clutch his hand. “Don’t leave me. Don’t ever leave me.”
“I love you too, Killer,” he whispers. “Fuck, so much.”
My tears leak onto his face, and his blend with them and travel down his cheeks. We stay like that for a long time, long enough for the door to open and a throat to clear. I straighten and look around to see Mack and Jaylah, coffee in hand. Jaylah sees me and her face softens, a flash of pain crossing her features. Mack gives me a gentle expression, one I rarely see on him.
“I’m sorry. I know you probably want to spend time with him and—”
“Stay,” Mack says, coming in and handing me a coffee. “He wants you to stay.”
I look to Diesel and he’s staring up at me, his expression full of love and pain and admiration. For what, I do not know.
“Are you sure?” I say softly.
“Don’t want you out of my sight again, baby,” he murmurs.
“I could say the same.” I laugh weakly. I pull up a chair beside his bed and settle in, keeping hold of his hand.
“Do you know who did this?” Diesel asks Mack.
“We have a good idea, and we’re goin’ to ride tonight to find them and finish this.”
I jerk and stare at him. “You’re riding tonight? Is my dad going?”
He nods. “We’re all involved in this. Best thing we can do is sort it together.”
“Is that safe?”
He smiles weakly. “Not goin’ to harm your family, sweetheart.”
“It’s not just them I’m worried about.”
His face goes soft. “Nice to know you care.”
“You’re blind if you don’t know that already.”
“Oh, come here and let me hug you before I explode,” Jaylah says, stepping towards me and pulling me into her arms.
“I’m sorry, Jaylah. I can’t imagine how this must have felt for you.”
“He’s safe; we’re all safe. That’s all that matters.”
She lets me go and turns to Mack. “You better come home to me or I’ll . . . I’ll . . .”
“You’ll what?” he says to her, playfully.
“I’ll cut your other leg off.”
He chuckles and pulls her onto his lap. “I’ll be fine, honey. We all will be.”
God, I hope he
’s right.
~*~*~*~
“I can’t believe we’re all on lockdown together,” Skye mumbles, staring at the Joker’s kids sitting in the corner of a mutual warehouse we all got stuffed into while the men rode to sort out this issue. I’m not allowed to visit Diesel until they come back, but they’ve put permanent guards on his door, thank God.
“You’re tellin’ me,” Jack grumbles. “I don’t even think we’re supposed to like each other.”
Ava grins. “We’re not supposed to like each other. That’s what makes it fun.”
“Fun,” Danny grunts. “Fuckin’ doubt it.”
“You pulled the stick outta your ass, it wouldn’t be so bad,” Phoenix grumbles at him.
“The fuck you say?” Danny growls.
“Stop it,” I snap. “You guys fighting will not help. I swear, we’ll all sit back and let you kill each other.”
Danny glares at Phoenix, who returns it.
“Why don’t we try getting along?” Matilda suggests.
“Good idea,” Kaylee says in a soft, small voice.
“A game, perhaps?” Skye points out.
“Like what?” Ava asks excitedly.
“Truth or Dare?” Jack suggests, grinning.
“Jack, you’re an animal!” Molly snaps at him.
“I think it’s a good idea,” Max says, shrugging.
“What about just Truth?” I suggest. “Considering we can’t leave. We can all ask each other a question and we have to answer or . . .”
“Or we have to take our clothes off!” Skye claps.
Danny glares at her. “My sister is in the room.”
“Not naked, perv.” She grins at him. “Just to our underwear.”
“Fine. It’s a deal,” I say. “Skye, you go first, since you’re so excited. One of the Sinners kids can ask a Joker kid, then reverse.”
“Yippee!” She claps, looking to Jack. “Jack, have you ever kissed a boy?”
He scowls at her. “Don’t be disgusting. No, I have not.”
“Your turn now, Jack.” I smile.
He looks to Ava. “Have you ever fucked in your parents’ bed?”
A chorus of “ew” goes around the room.
“Gross, dude,” Ava snorts. “No.”
She turns to Molly. “Have you ever streaked?”
Her face flushes.
We all “ohhhhh” really loudly.