But her heart had belonged to Jordan Pride since he’d rescued her as a cub.
She shook her head. “I’m on my path.” Right or wrong, she’d chosen to risk all for the lion leader.
“I can’t accept that.” Emotion echoed in the tiger’s tone. “The world is a better place with you causing havoc in it.” He yanked her into a granite-hard body, his mouth sliding down atop hers.
Shock kept her immobile.
Warm, seductive, he wandered his lips across hers. One hand released her arm to slide around her waist, tugging her even closer.
For one second, temptation flirted with her to dive in, to kiss him back. But curiosity wasn’t a good enough reason to screw up her future, or to hurt him. So she pushed both hands against his chest, turning her face to the side.
He fought her for two heartbeats, trying to press the issue. Finally, he paused, exhaling loudly. “Are you sure?”
“Yes.” She kept her gaze on the grass.
A warm knuckle lifted her chin to face him. He released her arm and grimaced. “Fine. Just promise me you won’t turn into a beast.”
“I won’t.” Hopefully. But now she needed to make arrangements for someone else to take her out if she did end up a werewolf. The job couldn’t fall to anyone in her family or squad. Especially Lance or Baye. “You kiss well.”
“Shut up.” His grin banished the rest of her worries. “I’m even better at the other stuff, but now you’ve blown your chance.”
She bit the inside of her lip. “I have no doubt you’re amazing at the other stuff.” With any luck, she’d still be around when Lance found a mate and had his world rocked for the right reasons and not to erase the pain of the past. Or not because he wanted to sacrifice himself for a friend.
Sure, she was doing the same thing. Love made the difference. It had to.
Lance tucked a friendly arm around her shoulder. “Come on. I’ll kick your butt at pool while we wait for Baye to finish his meeting.” He cleared his throat. “This didn’t happen.”
“What didn’t?” She grinned, allowing him to lead her back inside.
Jordan had the oddest sense of bringing his prom date home an hour late as he faced the three enforcers across the polished conference table. His three enforcers. The Chance brothers had protected Jordan’s back since day one of his becoming leader of the feline clans. All at least a hundred years older than him, they’d followed orders and defended their people using any means necessary. Right now they looked at him with varying degrees of irritation.
He cleared his throat. “I’ve publicly endorsed Noah as the next leader.” Hopefully he wasn’t signing the cougar’s death warrant. “Though I can guarantee you’ll be challenged. At least once.”
Noah shrugged.
The enforcers continued to stare.
On all that was holy. He so didn’t need this crap. “Fine. I didn’t mate her. What the hell do you want?”
“Why not?” Baye snarled.
Jordan frowned. They were pissed he hadn’t mated Katie? “Come on. If I mate her, I could kill her. I mean, the virus might kill her.”
“Or save you both,” Noah muttered.
Mac pursed his lips. The middle brother, he had lighter hair and darker eyes than the other two—and was by far the wildest lion in history. “Though, I get you not wanting to sacrifice her. I mean, it’s Katie.”
“She can make her own decisions.” Baye shoved back in his chair. “Little Katie is all grown up. I’ve seen her fight ... even with the virus slowing her down, she’s tough. Strong mentally. You’re lucky to have her.”
“I know she’s strong.” Jordan took a deep breath. “Listen, tomorrow night isn’t going to be good. And I wanted to say ... I mean ... well—”
“Jesus, Jordan. We love you, too.” Noah snarled more than said the words. “You’re not going to die. I haven’t followed you for three centuries just to watch you turn into a beast.”
“Why have you?” Shit. It was the absolute last question Jordan thought he’d ever ask. Deep down, he’d always wondered. After the way he’d gained leadership, he figured one day Noah would challenge him. Not stick by him to the end.
Noah growled. Mac frowned. Baye stared. “You’re family,” they said in unison, the different timbers of their voices melding deep.
Air coughed out of his lungs in disbelief. “No, I’m not.” He’d lost all his family the day he’d killed Brent Bomant.
Noah got the look he had right before he punched his fist through someone’s face.
Jordan tensed just in case he needed to block the blow.
“We became family the day the three of us vowed to be your protectors.” Noah spoke slowly, unusual emotion in his deep eyes. “You’ve done a good job—put our people back together after the last war. Got most feline nations unified under one leadership. Nobody else in the world could’ve healed our people so completely.”
Yeah, but he hadn’t ruled with charm and promises. There had been blood and bruises, too. “I didn’t do it alone.”
“No. And it’s good you finally realize that.” Baye stood. “I’m going to check on Katie and then meet the king to go over the battle plans. I have faith in you—always have. If there’s a way to beat the moon tonight, you’ll do it. When you head up to the surface to prepare, I’ll meet you.” With a nod to Noah, he strode from the room.
Mac followed suit, leaving Jordan with Noah.
Noah leaned back. “So Kane can’t cure the virus?”
“No.” Jordan fought despair down, setting his jaw. “I may need you to kill me when the time comes.” With Conn across the world, he’d rather have Noah do it than Max. Not that Max wasn’t capable, Jordan just didn’t know the vampire as well as he knew Noah.
Noah’s eyes were a deep, catlike green. They darkened with emotion and sorrow. “Not a problem.” He ground a palm into his eye. “You’re family, Jordan. Always have been. You don’t have to do any of this alone.”
Jordan studied his friend. He’d kept himself aloof, kept himself alone because he figured that was the price of leading. The price he had to pay. “I know.”
“No, you don’t.” Noah rolled to his feet. “I know what you did, what you had to do for the good of our people. Let the past go. You’ll never keep that lioness, virus or not, if you don’t let her in. Even if you only have a short time, isn’t every second worth taking?” He paused near the door, his back to Jordan. “I had a woman once. I lost her and would give anything for just one good day. Just one.”
Without another word, the feline enforcer slipped out the door.
Jordan sat back in the chair, his mind reeling. How could he not even know the name of the woman Noah missed? He’d kept himself so distant he couldn’t even consider himself Noah’s friend. The shifter’s words echoed in Jordan’s head. He closed his eyes, his hands clenching as memories flashed through him so quickly his brain ached.
Three hundred years ago, Jordan had intercepted Brent at the docks, taking him deep into the forest. His cousin had grown even bigger, though some of that was all belly. Apparently Brent had been enjoying a lot of ale, as well.
Jordan cleared his throat as they neared the clearing where his fate would be decided. Pine trees surrounded them, all creatures deadly quiet in their depths. Small prey always sensed predators in their midst, as well as tension and an inevitable battle. “I truly am sorry about your parents, Brent.”
Brent had pivoted, his eyes a burnt amber. “And yours. I know Kayrs moved headquarters to the center of, well, nothing. . . but why are we in the forest, Jordan?” Peering down from at least four inches of additional height, the shifter flashed sharp teeth.
“I need to know. What are your plans for the feline nation?” Jordan’s breath hitched on the question.
Irritation curled Brent’s lip. Tall, broad across the chest, the raw-boned shifter’s lumpy features reddened. “If you must know, I plan to sign a treaty with the Kurjans. There is no other choice.”
Jord
an’s foot caught on a root and he stumbled. Fire and anger rippled through his muscles as he righted himself. If that were true, Brent might’ve arrived to kill Dage. “The Kurjans will turn on you ... on all of us. We need to align with the Realm.”
Brent snarled. “I’m the new leader, and I will bind us as I see fit.” He paused at the clearing, anticipation cascading from him. “Unless you plan to challenge me?”
“I hereby issue said challenge.” The words hurt to say, but determination welled strong within him. Jordan turned to face the only family he had left on earth. “Just between us.”
Brent circled around. “That’s new.”
“Yes. The nation is in enough turmoil ... there’s no need to show our enemies we’re not solid.” Jordan casually sniffed the air to see if Conn’s scent rode the breeze and just smelled pine and wet moss. Apparently the vampire had set up downwind and far enough away as to be undetectable.
Brent scanned the area. “We fight to the death, then.”
“Yes.” Jordan would need to get the larger man down to the ground. He’d probably be Brent’s size someday, but not for decades, and the ground would level the fight.
“I have no problem killing you.” Brent shrugged off his jacket, his gaze piercing. “I want your word that the victor will lead our people. I know you’ve aligned with the Kayrs family ... I want your word they won’t take me out after I kill you.”
Jordan stared Brent right in the eyes during a moment that would change him forever. “You have my word.”
The fight was brutal and took hours. They started as men ... and finished as mountain lions. When it was over, when Brent was dead, Jordan had shifted to human, bloody and hurt.
Conn jogged up, darkness in his eyes. “Sit down. I’ll bury him.”
“No.” Jordan struggled to remain on his feet. The haunted look in his friend’s eyes belonged on Jordan’s shoulders. While Conn hadn’t had to kill Brent, he’d resolved to do so ... which was something he’d never escape.
Rulers ruled alone ... or their loved ones got hurt. Jordan would never again make the mistake of involving someone he cared about in business. “I’ll bury him. It’s my job.”
Footsteps outside the conference room yanked Jordan back into the present. Maybe he hadn’t needed to isolate himself to such a degree. Either way, it was probably too late to worry about it. His problem remained the same today as it had three hundred years ago.
Brent Bomant had to die.
Katie leaned against the door of the lab, seeking another update. She’d been sure the new cure would work in Jordan’s blood ... it had just needed more time. Her breath caught in her chest as the queen turned around.
Emma scanned the newest results. “There’s no change.”
Disappointment burned on the way down. Katie tried to breathe. “There’s still time.”
The queen’s eyes dimmed. “Probably not. Anytime we’ve manipulated a substance with magic, the change has been almost instant. If this concoction worked, we’d already know it. I’m so sorry, Kate.”
Katie nodded, pain sliding through her skin like sand in a bottle. So much hurt filled her she forced a smile. “I’ll be back later.” Pivoting, she walked with measured steps down the hallway.
No cure existed for the werewolf virus.
Everybody had been trying to warn her, but she couldn’t let hope die. She found her way to Jordan’s quarters and slipped inside. Silence and a sense of emptiness surrounded her. He was probably arranging for one of the Kayrs men to kill him once he turned into a werewolf.
Stumbling past the small table and sofa area, her vision graying, she limped into the bedroom and curled up on the bed. Jordan’s scent surrounded her with what could have been. With what might have been.
She wanted to let the tears fall, but her spirit had gone dry.
Cotton failed to soothe as she tucked her body around his pillow.
He’d told her he loved her.
Jordan didn’t lie. The man loved her. Yet she hadn’t returned the words. The idea of saying them with death so near had caught the truth in her throat. And yeah. He’d surprised her. Dreams didn’t have words. Yet he’d found some.
Her dreams had always included him. Even while lying to herself, trying to move on, she’d harbored the hope of their future. Deep down at her core, she’d believed.
Fate smashed hope and belief into splinters of nothingness.
Fear that he’d see her feelings as a silly crush, or worse yet, have pity on her had kept her distant from him for ten years. An entire decade had passed when she could’ve been with him.
And now, Jordan was accepting fate. He was going to leave her all alone again.
She flashed back to the moment she’d first shifted as a small child, scared beyond belief and running alone in the woods. If anything, the woods and the world were much scarier today than they’d ever been.
And he was going to leave her alone again.
At the thought, fire welled up in her with a strength that had her sitting up. Fuck that. Fuck fate. And fuck Jordan, too.
Katie had absolutely nothing left to lose. She did, however, have one last chance to save him. Sure, it might kill them both. Or anger Jordan to the point that he hated her. She could live with the hate, if it saved him.
With a quick punch to the pillow, she shot to her feet. She could either lie back and let fate decide, or embrace the dark.
Life truly was all or nothing.
Chapter 19
Out of the whipping rain, Katie stood at the entrance of headquarters, peering from under a New Orleans Privateers hat. The clouds shot across the sky, revealing and then hiding the moon, the storm never pausing. She tilted her head for a better sense, nodding when no vibrations came back. Brent and any others of his kind remained too far away to feel.
The safety wouldn’t last, of that she was sure. The moon would be full the next night, and if Brent attacked again, he’d strike under its power.
But for tonight, the forest around them remained clear. The snipers had headed indoors after making sure the area was secure. They weren’t needed outside tonight in the storm. The folks could sleep peacefully in the earth one more night.
She double-checked her readings. Now that she’d decided on a path, no emotion clouded her mind. “I don’t sense anyone.”
Jordan lounged against the rock, not touching her. Dressed in a black T-shirt and cargo pants, he looked as impenetrable as the rocks around them. They stood less than a foot apart, but the distance felt like miles. “I’m betting we see some action with the full moon tomorrow.” He peered into the darkness. “Yeah. The woods are safe tonight.”
Anticipation and an odd inevitability hinted in his low tone. The man was planning on going out strong, taking out werewolves before losing himself.
That’s what he thought. Thunder rolled high and loud. Katie jumped and then cleared her throat. There had to be a way to get through to him. He was the most honest person she knew and wouldn’t play coy even if he could figure out how. “Did you mean what you said earlier?”
His eyes darkened. He sucked in air. “Yes.”
Her smile came unbidden. “You don’t sound happy about that.”
“I’m not.” He scrubbed both hands down his face. “I have twenty-four hours until I go over completely. Telling you I loved you was a mistake.”
At least he didn’t call the actual fact of loving her a mistake. “I kissed Lance.” Well, Lance had kissed her, but close enough. She wanted a reaction from Jordan, and she’d get it.
Fire shimmered along his skin. “Katie, come on.” Then he lifted his head ever so slightly. His nostrils flared.
So far, he was keeping an admirable hold on his impressive temper. She’d need him to unleash for her plan to work. “I want all of you, Jordan.” Her voice stayed soft, but the guy had animal hearing.
“You have all of me.”
“Bullshit.” Something inside of her enjoyed the flash of warning that lit his
eyes. He’d always hated when she swore. “While I thought you were a good fuck, you didn’t give me all of you.”
His chin lowered. “What’s your goal here, kitten?”
Leave it to Jordan to cut right to the issue. “What do you mean?” Unlike the leader of the lions, she had no problem playing coy.
“You’re trying to piss me off, and for the world of me, I can’t figure out why.”
Because Cara had told her to challenge him. “Cowards piss me off.”
“You’re calling me a coward?” He sounded more bemused than angry.
Okay, this wasn’t going according to plan. Well, if all else failed. “The sex was just fine, Jordan. I know you’re not feeling a hundred percent lately.”
His eyebrows lifted. “Just fine?”
“Well, yeah. I mean you’re cranky tonight, obviously, and I figured you might be stressed about what happened between us. It was ... nice. Really, really nice.”
He studied her like she was trapped in a slide under Emma’s microscope. “So nice you screamed out my name each time. Four times, to be exact.”
“I know.” She lowered her voice to something soothing. “So stop worrying about it. I mean, you’ll move on, and I’ll learn the really hot stuff from Lance.” She bit her lip. “Or maybe Terrent Vilks. I’ve heard wolves are crazy wild.”
“Katie.” Jordan’s voice cut like a whip. “Stop it.”
“Stop what?”
He rolled his eyes. “Stop trying to make me mad. This isn’t going to work.”
The clouds chose that moment to part a sliver, allowing the moon to shine through the rain. He lifted his head, a low rumbling spilling from his chest.
Well, if words wouldn’t do it, she had one card left to play. Twisting her body, she shot a sidekick to his knee. With a muffled oof, he went down, surprise lighting his face. Jumping, she kicked him square in the temple. His head bounced off the rock with a sickening thud.