She leaned down and kissed the back of his neck, nuzzling the warmth there, her wolf breathing his scent in deeply, letting it mark her.
“Mmm, you’re good with your hands. That’s very nice. I love you and I’m sorry about all this crazy. I just want you to be happy. You make me happy, Tegan. I’ve never felt so satisfied with my life. You do that for me.”
He said the best things. Smiling she hummed her appreciation as she continued to work on his shoulders.
“Tell me about losing him. What was your life like with him and then after?”
She stilled a moment before moving again. “I love you. I’m very happy, I want you to know that. I knew him, grew up with him actually. But he was this totally hyper guy. Played baseball in high school, got scouted even. But he wanted to go into the army. That’s how I had so much exposure to him, he idolized Lex.
“I never considered him more than a cute guy who had way more energy than I wanted to deal with. I went to college and decided to join the Enforcer corps so we got to know each other and we became close. An attraction started to bloom between us but I had a boyfriend at the time. Also, werewolves don’t reach sexual maturation until they’re eighteen, which is pretty darned handy so the mate attraction hadn’t really shown itself that strongly. Anyway, I’d had this fight with my boyfriend. I came home and I was crying, it was my twentieth birthday.”
Tegan laughed, remembering the sweetness of that night. “Lucas had joined the army and was home on leave. He saw me and hugged me and I got a load of his scent and it was all mixed with sex and well, we had this intense thing in Cade’s garage. On his Mercedes. And well, you know what it feels like to bond. He was everything to me. We were young and in love. We had a great time together. He wanted to be a ranger. I was freaked but he wanted it so I supported that. It was hell to be separated for so long. He finished ranger school and I bounced between here and Georgia. Then September Eleven happened. Everything changed. He went to Afghanistan and then came back. We toyed with the idea of kids and decided when he got back the next time, we’d try. He was KIA two weeks before he was due home.”
Her voice caught and Ben rolled to the side, facing her as he pulled her to the bed with him. He brushed the hair from her face. “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine. You don’t have to say any more.”
Tegan shook her head. She needed to say it all, to let it go. “The first year after Lucas died was awful. I don’t remember all of it. I wouldn’t have made it through the first two or three months if it hadn’t been for Layla. I lived with them for a while. Every morning she brought me food, made me eat it. I sat in a daze and watched my niece and nephew playing and growing up. Knowing I’d never have that with Lucas. Abe, he’s my Anchor, he visited when he could. You’ll need to meet him and Collette, his mate. But they had a baby during that first year and it just made things worse. The bond in place saved me from death but seeing him, knowing he wasn’t mine, not the way he belonged to her, knowing I had no one who loved me like that, it just sort of made me numb. To cope, I suppose.
“And then I moved to Lex and Cade’s and worked. For a long time, years, I lived in this middle place. Not really feeling anything because I was afraid to. I didn’t date, didn’t go out with friends, didn’t laugh or let anyone hug me. I felt a few things from time to time—fear, loneliness and rage.”
The unshed tears in his eyes made her swallow, hard.
“Oh, honey, I wish I could have been there for you sooner. What made you turn it around?”
Tegan told him about the dreams, about how she felt Lucas himself told her to move on and start living again. And about his warning.
“Wow. Well, there are times when I feel threatened by his memory, you know? He’s this perfect love for you. He was a wolf too. You had different bonds, older, purer. Sometimes when you talk about him your face gets dreamy. But I’m glad you had him. And I’m glad he found a way to get to you, to tell you to let go.”
“He was very special. But so are you. He’s this beautiful part of my past but you’re my future, Ben. You’re the reason I live every day. Will you tell me about her? The one who hurt you so much?”
He told her the story of the woman and how he’d caught her cheating. Of how he’d had dreams of forever and the way this Sarah bitch had dashed them and hurt him so deeply he’d never trusted again.
“She needs a smackdown. Does she still live around here?”
Ben laughed and kissed her quickly. “While the thought of you kicking her ass is enticing, she’s not worth it. She married and lives in Olympia, or she did the last I heard six or so years ago.”
“Well, the offer is open. That pisses me off. How could any woman have you and look for anything else?”
He sighed and pulled her close. “I was different then. I have more to give now. I realize what the cost is to not put all my energy into a relationship. We didn’t start off very easily, Tegan, but I’m committed to you and to us totally. I want you to know that.”
“I feel that.” She writhed against him as he swept her beneath his body. “Oh, I feel that too. Why don’t you show me what you got, old guy.”
Chapter Thirteen
Tegan returned from the firing range and then took a run to check the perimeter at the start of her shift. The air was crisp and clean as she trotted through the trees, her nose to the air every few feet when she wasn’t sniffing the ground.
Something wasn’t right. Outsiders had been there. Watching.
There wasn’t anyone around then. The scent was cold. Whoever it was had been very good and it took her an hour of very intense investigation before she found the scent on a bent back fern frond. Not human, wolf and not Cascadia.
After she’d come back, Ben had arrived and was eating breakfast with her brothers. Dave followed Tegan in along with some of the other wolves from her shift. They’d noted her tension and knew something was up.
As did Lex and then Ben when they looked up to see her face.
“What?” Lex didn’t say anything else. She loved that he trusted her so much he didn’t need to, knew she’d tell him what he needed to know.
“Wolves were here. Probably after the last perimeter check.” She looked to Megan who’d been drinking some juice before she went to sleep. She didn’t want her sister to think she blamed her. “Two of them. Not Cascadia. I didn’t recognize the scent at all. Which means it can’t be any of the west coast Packs or National since I’ve scented members from those.”
She explained the rest as she sat. Nina put a plate full of food before her and Tegan tucked in. The change took a lot of physical energy, she needed the fuel.
“We expected this. It was far enough from the house they couldn’t have used a sniper rifle. But you know, anti-tank missiles are still a possibility.”
Ben choked on his breakfast. “These fucks have anti-tank missiles? Jesus God, Tegan, I’m going to get an ulcer for sure.”
Tegan held back a smile as she patted his back. “Honey, they’re the mob. Do you think they have ethics? They’ve never used anything like an anti-tank missile but we did find RPGs at their headquarters back when we first busted Pellini. That’s Lex being, well, Lex. He has to think of all the possibilities including dirty bombs and suitcase nukes. It’s his special talent.”
Nina snorted and Lex just shrugged and continued eating.
“I’d wager it’s Pellini’s people keeping an eye on us as the time for the NC approaches. He’s not going to move here. He doesn’t have to. He’ll wait to see if he can get his person into the National Mediator position. He’s a thug but he’s not stupid. He’ll try and do this with the veneer of following our laws. If that doesn’t work, we’ll all be on the alert because he’ll be three times as dangerous as he was before. For now, I think we continue to stay watchful and I’ll step up the patrols of the road. Nina just hooked us up with a r
eally good camera system along the entrance feeder roads and paths to the house,” Lex explained and winked at his wife.
“Small cameras hooked to a wireless system. It won’t be ready to go online until later on today. I planned to run tests tonight to see how the infrared works. Guess I was a day late.”
Cade patted Nina’s arm. “You can’t do everything, Nina. It’s fine. We’ll get it up and running on schedule. We can’t skimp here. Lex is right, I don’t think we’re in any danger just now.”
“Well, that’s a good thing! We have a bonding ceremony to do and if anyone ruined that I’d be very unhappy.”
Grinning, Tegan turned to her grandmother, reaching out to hug her. “Hey, Grandma. How are you today? Come and sit. Are you hungry?”
Megan pulled out a chair and everyone else moved to grab things and offer them to her grandmother who relished the attention with a serene smile.
She turned her gray eyes to Ben and raised a brow. “You’re a fine-looking specimen. You and Tegan will make very beautiful babies in a few years.”
Ben actually blushed. Tegan put a hand on his shoulder. “Grandma, this is Ben Stoner. Ben, this is my grandmother, Lia Warden.”
“It’s an honor to finally meet you, Mrs. Warden. Tegan speaks of you quite warmly all the time. I can see where the Warden sisters get their looks now.”
Now it was her grandmother who blushed and then giggled like a young girl. Tegan looked at Megan and Nina and they shrugged and watched, fascinated, as Ben charmed the hell out of their grandmother.
After about an hour of back and forth, her grandmother turned and nodded. “He’s worthy. I’m going to pay a visit to your mother later this weekend, Ben.”
Ben paled and Tegan grimaced. “Do you think that’s such a good idea, Grandma? I mean, she’s...well, not very happy I’m a werewolf.”
“The ceremony is in less than a week. She avoided the lovely dinner at Jillian’s restaurant the night before last. But from what I understand, she’s been put on a new medication for her blood pressure because it might have interacted with her cholesterol pills and exacerbated her negative feelings about our race. And so there needs to be a set-to. This cannot go on. This woman cannot be allowed to make what should be the happiest day of your lives one bit sad because she refuses to cooperate.”
“Grandma, perhaps you should let Ben and Tegan work this out,” Cade said gently but with the Alpha behind it.
She looked at him and rolled her eyes. “Cade, I changed your poopy diapers, boy, don’t try that Alpha voice on me. Your grandfather was the Alpha of this Pack for longer than you’ve been alive and then your father, a man I raised. As far as I’m concerned, that makes me Alpha by default. So poo. It doesn’t compel me to want to do anything but rap you upside your head for even trying to control me.”
Nina snickered.
Tegan looked to Ben. “Are you okay with this?” She would defy her grandmother if Ben needed her to and she saw he understood that and relaxed.
“Like I said, I don’t know what’s going on with her. My dad says she’s calmed down a lot yesterday. The doctor said it would be a bit before there’d be any difference if the pills were the issue. She and I talked for a while Friday night and she was still very opposed to the idea of me marrying you but she didn’t seem so extreme about it. I hate this. I hate that she’s hurting you and not welcoming you into the family. I hate that you can’t meet my mother and have to deal with this stranger. If your grandmother can help, I’m all for it.” He looked to her grandmother. “And I’m sure you’ll be gentle with her.”
Her grandmother waved that away and Tegan hid a grin. “In any case, I’ve spoken with Mrs. Stoner on the phone and she is meeting me for coffee at Jillian’s restaurant in three hours. It’s a public place and one she’s familiar with so I’m hoping it being on her turf will help her. I won’t have it. My girl has suffered too much and this day will be perfect. I will it and so it will be.” That regal chin jutted high and Tegan got to her knees and put her head in her grandmother’s lap. Like she had many times, her grandmother sifted her fingers through Tegan’s hair soothingly.
“I love you, Grandma.”
“I love you too, sweetheart. It’s going to be fine, I promise.”
“I hope so.”
* * *
Ben went to work later on after spending a few hours first thing that morning having breakfast at Cade and Lex’s place. He loved watching Tegan interact with her family. She was easier as the days went by, as she got used to her old self again and embraced her new life. He saw the change in her, it only made her more beautiful to him.
He went over some security stuff with them and Benoit via teleconference. Gabe had given the FBI some very detailed information about the building the NC would be held in. It was right in the heart of the city so on one hand, they felt it would be safe from too much overt violence from Pellini, on the other hand, Ben worried about how exposed the building was in general.
Benoit and Ben would go in a few days early to stake out the area and find some good places to dig in and observe. Gabe was also able to help with that. Jack had forwarded some information about a condo building across the street that faced where the meetings would be held and offered to plant some listening devices after the initial sweep the Packs would make upon arrival.
Now if only Tegan would stay home and far away from the danger. Ben snorted as he walked down the hallway to another meeting, like that was gonna happen.
He tried not to think about the meeting that Lia Warden set up with his mother, only hoping it would go well and his mother would see some sense. If anyone could handle themselves it was the grand dame of the Pack.
Ben was sure he’d hear all about it one way or another when he got home from work that night.
Chapter Fourteen
The ceremony began at sundown on the third Saturday in April. It was brisk but not cold and Tegan’s outfit had been top secret. Ben laughed with Lex and Cade as they all waited on the top of a hill looking over a meadow south of the house.
He looked back at the assembled crowd and smiled. His sister, Jillian, sat flirting with her date. His father looked at ease as he sat with his arm around Ben’s mother’s shoulders. Ben didn’t know what had transpired at the meeting but within the following forty-eight hours, his mother showed up on his and Tegan’s doorstep and they’d begun a tentative move toward acceptance. His mother wouldn’t talk about the coffee date and Tegan’s grandmother was equally tight-lipped. He wondered if the old woman hadn’t done some sort of witchy magic on his mother, but he supposed whatever worked was fine with him. His parents were there to share his happiness with him and it made Tegan happy to know that too.
He’d warned them, as well as Benoit, who also sat in the crowd, that there’d be some wolf-type stuff going on. There’d be a ceremonial spilling of his blood on the ground along with Tegan’s. Marking it with his scent so to speak and mixing his blood with the Pack’s.
Two large wolves sat on the ridgeline high above the group, watching and guarding—Nick and Gabe, his soon-to-be brothers-in-law and Tegan’s baby sister Tracy’s husbands. Several Pacific Pack wolves, Tracy’s Packmates, had taken over guard duty for the afternoon and had spread through the surrounding forest.
Every once in a while he heard a howl, answered by several more in order as they checked in. As Lex didn’t look alarmed when that happened, Ben just assumed everything was status quo.
An arbor marked the space where they’d stand and the trees surrounding the area were strung with white lights that cast a soft glow on the spot. It felt magical.
The hair on the back of Ben’s neck stood up and Lex tapped his arm. Ben turned to catch sight of his woman walking down the path toward them.
Her hair was loose, beautiful strands of red blowing in the soft breeze as the deepest blue of
twilight settled in. The dress she wore was the same deep green as the robe she wore for him several nights a week. Only this dress moved about her feet like the ocean as she walked. The front dipped low, the necklace he’d given her resting between her breasts, and the sleeves were tight, buttoned from her wrists to her elbow.
Once she’d gotten close enough, he saw her hair had green ribbons and shiny things woven through it. She looked like a faery queen or a goddess. His red wolf.
“Wow. You look amazing,” he murmured before kissing her softly.
She smiled and he caught her blush. “Thank you. So do you. I like you in this gray color. I’m glad you went for a tux, very sexy.”
* * *
Tegan didn’t remember much of the ceremony once she’d rounded the corner and saw Ben standing there with her brothers. She’d done this once before with Lucas. They’d been young and of course both of them were wolves so the ceremony was different. But this time, it felt like she’d been away from home for a very long time and just seeing Ben there, his blue-black hair trimmed just for the ceremony, all buff and hard in that tux, a total sense of relief settled in. She was home, he brought her back from the edge.
As she’d been walking from the house, she caught sight of a gold wolf running across the path. Lucas had been a gold wolf. None of the Pacific wolves were gold like that. She’d stopped and her grandmother had hugged Tegan to her side a moment.
“You saw?”
Her grandmother nodded. “It’s his way of saying goodbye. He’s giving you his goodbye.”
But she wasn’t sad. It made her happy instead. She missed him, she always would, but he held only happiness for her now.
The night was clear and the stars winked overhead as her grandmother and their local pastor had said the ceremony and blessing. When Ben’s blood met hers on the ground, she’d felt him weave his way through the Pack consciousness at the back of her mind. He was Cascadia now. It made her proud.