I don’t tell him I overheard that conversation because the wall of ice in my chest seems to be shifting further, but I still manage to say, “I’m sorry about your sister. I didn’t understand before, but I get it now.”
“I’m sorry, too,” he says, his voice low. He looks down, and I realize I’ve just made him relive those awful emotions. Sadness makes him seem younger, and I can’t help but think of the Cancrian boy with turquoise eyes and sandy hair who helped me through my heartache once.
“You know . . . we could be substitute siblings,” I say, channeling Deke’s spirit.
Mathias’s midnight eyes meet mine again. “You’re already my family, Rho.”
He pulls me into his chest for a hug, and even as my frozen heart welcomes his warmth, part of me wants to push him away for fear of my glacier melting. Mathias lets go suddenly, and I worry he feels the chill in my chest, but he’s staring past me. I twist around and see Hysan watching us.
He turns back the way he came, and I chase after him.
“Hysan, wait,” I call out, but he doesn’t slow down until he gets to his cabin, and I hurry in after him before he shuts the door on me.
“I didn’t mean to come between you two,” he says, jaw clenched. He turns his back to me as he leans over a small desk and starts tinkering with one of his devices. There’s barely enough space for one person in this tiny cabin, and my lungs feel like they’re working extra hard to pull in oxygen.
“I want to apologize,” I say, clearing my throat. “I know what I did on Phaet, how I betrayed you, it was—”
“The worst thing anyone’s ever done to me,” he finishes, twisting to meet my stare. “But at least now you can understand why I find it so hard to trust people.”
His lips curve into a colder version of his centaur smile, and it seems more like the cruel smirk of the Hysan from my nightmares.
The powerlessness I felt in his presence then fuels my outrage now, and I snap, “Maybe if you’d been honest with me from the start instead of lying about the master’s location, I could have trusted you with my plan! Did you think I wanted to do this alone? To go against my friends? If I’d thought any of you would have trusted my idea, I would have confided in you!”
“You’re right, Rho.” Hysan straightens and fully faces me, and I have to tilt my head up to look at him. “We’ve made hard choices, and maybe some of them were mistakes. But we can’t judge that right now.”
His leaf-green eyes pierce into mine. “Some decisions can’t be evaluated on their own because they form part of a larger design. On Libra we have a saying about people who can’t get past a single bad choice in their lives: They can’t see the constellation for its stars.”
“But—aren’t you mad at me?”
“Of course I’m mad!” He’s so close that his breath tickles my face, and his gaze locks on to mine with an intensity that makes it impossible to pull away. “I’m mad because this isn’t you. I don’t think you ever woke up from that Sumber, and every day I feel you slipping further away. And the worst part is you’re not even trying to come back to us.”
With half a step, he bridges the small space between us, his voice dropping with every word. “I know this feels easier for you, but we need you here.” I can almost sense the glow of his golden skin and smell the cedary scent of his hair when he says, “I need you here.”
His mouth moves in close enough to raise my body temperature. Only the heat doesn’t warm me—it burns.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, stepping back lest the fissure in my glacier expand and expose me. “I just don’t feel the same way anymore.”
Hysan flinches, like my words have physically hurt him. “I’ll leave you alone then.”
And just like that, we’re through.
30
WE ENTER LEO’S ATMOSPHERE VEILED from the Psy and hidden from view.
The plan is for Hysan to keep ’Nox aloft while the rest of us pile into the two small black bullet-ships we tugged with us from Aries. There’s one on either side of Equinox. Ezra, Gyzer, and I will take one, while Nishi, Skarlet, and Mathias take the other. Pandora will stay on the ship with Hysan. She’s our designated survivor.
If all fails, and Hysan has to land, she’ll eject in the escape capsule into the arms of the Zodai fleet that followed us from Aries and is waiting out of sight. They’re our Plan B. I wanted Nishi to be the designated survivor, but the look she gave me when I suggested it made me shut up.
Thanks to Ezra’s spying on Aquarius’s technology, we know we can’t use Veil collars on the Mothership because we’d still trigger motion sensors. So Mathias, Nishi, and Skarlet dress up in Marad uniforms we stripped off the dead soldiers. Since we still don’t know how to remove the masks, even in death, the Dreamcasters on Phaet spent the day creating convincing replicas—they look just like the real thing. It’s strange seeing the three all-white uniforms and knowing that behind those porcelain masks are people I love.
Well, technically two people I love and one person I tolerate.
Ezra winces when she looks at them, and Gyzer rests an understanding arm around her.
Our fake soldiers are going to rescue Mom and Gamba—since they won’t look conspicuous transporting prisoners—while I get Ophiuchus. He and I, on the other hand, are bound to stick out, so if we get caught, we’re counting on Ophiuchus’s superstrength to help us like it did on Aries.
Hysan explained that Aquarius has been on the mortal plane for three millennia, so his body is human. But Ophiuchus has spent millennia amassing Psynergy in the astral plane, and now he’s more star than man. He’s become a kind of hybrid who attracts too much Psynergy—half the time it strengthens him, and the other half it leaves him drained.
We’re going to be too many people to pack into the tiny bullet-ships, so Hysan will have to land ’Nox in the hangar deck to pick us up. By then, our cover will be blown, but hopefully it won’t matter because we’ll be back in the air.
We have exactly forty-five minutes to pull everything off. Hysan handed out yellow wristbands that will buzz once when there’s fifteen minutes left, twice when there’s five minutes left, and three times when he’s here. Anyone who doesn’t make it to the hangar deck in time will have to find another way off the planet.
Our team of Marad soldiers lands first; Ezra and Gyzer gave them directions where to go, and since Mathias is familiar with the Mothership, he shouldn’t have trouble navigating it. Once Ezra, Gyzer, and I land, we dart indoors and cut across the Family Room to the south wing’s spiral staircase.
“I was beginning to worry you’d changed your mind.”
I turn around, and when I see Blaze I cross my arms like I’m irked. “And I was beginning to trust you—I guess we were both wrong.”
He frowns as he strides over from the pale blue couch where he’d been sitting in wait. “What is it?”
“Ezra and Gyzer flew me to Aries so we could try convincing our old friends to join us. Only someone beat me to it.”
Blaze exhales heavily and stuffs his hands in his white suit pockets. “Imogen is there for the same purpose as you. She’s a little more forceful about it, but her goal is the same as yours or mine—we just want to save Zodai lives. Aquarius told her she couldn’t force them to come.”
I let sadness fall over me, willing water to fill my eyes, but it doesn’t work. I’ve spent my whole life crying over everything, and the one time I need my tears, they won’t come. Still, the expression must be convincing enough without the waterworks, because Blaze sighs. “They said no?”
I nod.
“I’m sorry, Rho.”
I shrug. “It’s their choice. I’m done thinking about it. I just want to sleep.” Then I widen my eyes, like I’ve thought of something better. “Is Aquarius back? I’d put off sleep to chat with him if he’s around,” I lie.
“Is that why you were headed t
o the south wing?” he asks curiously, and I force myself to nod. “Well, he’s not here, but he should be returning any moment. I’ll let him know you’re looking for him. But for now, sleep is a good idea—since we’re leaving tonight.”
“Tonight?” I echo in shock, and Ezra and Gyzer come closer.
“Aquarius says we’re ready,” says Blaze, his russet eyes bright.
I don’t bother trying to return his smile because I know I would fail. So instead I frown and say, “I’ll believe it when it happens. Trust Only What You Can Touch.”
Blaze nods approvingly. “Always.”
Ezra, Gyzer, and I climb up the east staircase instead, like we’re heading toward my room. Once we’ve put enough space between us and Blaze, we cut across to the south side of the ship, toward Ophiuchus’s cell.
I try to ignore the squirming in my stomach. I know this feeling because I’ve already done this so many times before: thrown myself at the stars’ mercy by embarking on a life-or-death adventure.
Only this time is different. My pulse isn’t racing, nor am I clinging to memories of my loved ones or fantasies of my future. Instead, I’m feeling the anticipation of a spectator who’s watching someone else’s life unfold and wondering how it will end.
As for myself, I feel finished.
I want my friends to survive, and I want the Zodiac to see tomorrow—I’m just not sure I want to stick around for it.
Ezra and Gyzer wordlessly point out Ophiuchus’s door, and then they speed away to help the others. Since I don’t see any special technology keeping him caged in, I try twisting the handle. It’s unlocked.
The Thirteenth Guardian’s suite is bigger than mine. The luminous, windowed space I walk into seems to be some kind of antechamber, and there’s a colorful spread of food on a glass table. I thought he’d be in a jail cell, but here he is, sitting on a cerulean throw rug, deep in meditation, his radiant snakeskin glowing with health.
His muscles bulge through the lightweight white suit he’s been given to wear, and his body looks more powerful than I’ve seen it, like he’s had plenty of time and space to recover his strength. He isn’t trapped, because Aquarius knows he’s not going anywhere: Ophiuchus has no intention of stopping the Last Prophecy—if anything, he’s come to see it through.
“This whole time, you never really chose a side,” I say, shutting the door behind me. “You’ve been playing us both.”
He opens his starlit eyes. “I see you’ve chosen yours.”
“You were protecting him.” I lean against the wall and cross my arms, squinting into the reddening light of the sunset streaming through the windows. “Even after all he did to you and your people.”
“I was protecting you, too.” His voice is so deep that it rumbles through me like thunder.
“You lied to me,” I say, glaring at him. “You knew exactly how he’d activate the portal. You knew he needed to bring your House back to do it. Then you willingly traveled here to be sacrificed. And in all the conversations we’ve had in the Psy the past few months, you never said a word about any of this.”
“Stars exist to illuminate your path. Not to tell you why you’re on it.” His inky-black hair is like an oppressive cloud of Dark Matter pressing down on his youthful face.
“Or maybe you just couldn’t See which side would win.”
Ophiuchus plants a clawed foot on the ground and rises to his full height, towering a few heads over me. “Is that what you think I was doing?” he asks, his voice booming through the room.
I straighten and drop my arms to my sides. “Just tell me the truth for once. What is it you want?”
“Same thing I’ve always wanted.”
“Unity?” I ask, scoffing. “Your beloved Aquarius destroyed any semblance of unity we ever had—”
“And you humans are so much better?” he growls, and the glass windows tremble. “I’ve watched you from the beginning. Why is your species so deserving of a tomorrow? What have you learned? How have you grown? You’re still the same petty, greedy creatures you’ve always been.”
“Maybe we could have aspired to more if our stars hadn’t failed us!”
His murderous eyes flash to mine, and I hear my heart starting up. “You let Aquarius get the best of you, and you were too weak to even accuse him.” My pulse pounds harder with every word, so I throw everything I have at him. “You’re pathetic! What kind of god lets his power get taken from him and dooms his people to suffer a maniac’s twisted rule just because he’s too scared to get his heart broken—”
My lungs run out of air as Ophiuchus lifts me off my feet and shoves me into the wall, pinning my shoulders there with his fists. His mouth is inches from mine as he says in a low voice, “I know what you want from me. I know who you need me to be. But have you even considered what it’s doing to me to treat you this way?”
“You’ve done far worse,” I say, my breathing choppy. “And why should you care? You only needed me around to end your despair, and now you have Aquarius for that.”
“You’ve made bad choices,” he whispers, his cold breath blowing on my face. “You are not the first. But you can still make new ones.”
“And what—what if I just wanted it to end?”
My mouth is dry and I can barely believe I’m saying the words out loud. “Would you offer me the same courtesy I once offered you?”
Even though I’m literally in his hands, he looks at me helplessly, like I’m beyond his reach. His voice dips, and he speaks in the same intimate tone I heard him use with Aquarius—like we’re equals. “I need to know you can come back from this.”
Before I can stop it, I feel the revulsion showing on my face, and I spit, “You want me to forgive myself because you want to be forgiven, too.”
I sound aghast. “You really think you can come back from all you’ve done? Because you can’t.” His eyes widen slightly, like some part of him actually thought he stood a chance of being forgiven. “You’ve murdered whole worlds—don’t you get that? You’re a monster!”
His knuckles press into my shoulders with such force that I’m certain bruises are blossoming beneath my tunic. His starry eyes go supernova and his snakeskin darkens until even the room seems to dim, and he looks like the monster every child in the Zodiac was raised to fear. The darkness we created.
Terror makes my heart beat faster until it’s all I hear, and I feel Death’s presence like a shadow that’s just entered the room.
“Tempting,” he growls, “but I would hate to end your torment prematurely. Not when you have so much more suffering to endure.”
The pressure in his grip eases a little, and at last I see his threats for what they’ve always been—empty. He’s not going to end me. I’m still too powerful a game piece to trade amongst him and Aquarius and the Zodai.
I sigh in resignation and ask, “What was it about Aquarius you loved?”
“His light.” Ophiuchus’s answer is so quick that it’s more reflex than reflection. “I fed his fire because I longed to see how brilliant he could burn. I tried to check his flames to keep them from consuming him, but I didn’t condemn his thirst for power. . . . I was too in love with his blaze.”
Ophiuchus lets go of me, and my feet slide back down to the ground.
“I can’t force you to leave this place with me,” I say, glancing at the yellow wristband which hasn’t buzzed yet. “But if you stay, the whole Zodiac dies. Are you really going to let your world disappear a second time?”
“Aquarius promised to return my descendants to my House. My people may be gone, but he’s Seen that my planet has been protected by the Dark Matter, and it will continue to endure after Helios goes dark. The Thirteenth House is the only world that will survive the Zodiac’s apocalypse.”
That’s why Ophiuchus came so willingly.
His House was never in any danger. Which means
I have zero leverage to convince him to betray Aquarius.
“So you’re going to let him annihilate the Zodiac?”
A shadow crosses his snakeskin face. “I didn’t see any of the other Houses rushing to help my people when we were destroyed.”
“And your solution is to let the star you claim to love become the universe’s ultimate monster?” I ask, grasping for anything that might make him reconsider. “Is that what you want for him?”
It’s obvious from his hesitation that this isn’t what he wants.
And as I study Ophiuchus’s expression closely, I recognize a feeling that’s completely out of place in our current predicament. It’s hope.
“Holy Helios,” I breathe, my eyes widening as I finally understand his behavior. “You still believe he can change,” I say incredulously. “You think you can actually save him. You’re insane!”
Ophiuchus drops his gaze, and after a moment he says, “I’ll go with you.”
I can hardly believe it, and every cell in my body exhales with relief. I have no idea why he’s helping me, but I just want to get going before he changes his mind again. “Great! Let’s—”
“But not without my Star Stone.”
I stare at him in utter bewilderment. “You’re joking. Aquarius probably took it with him—”
“I can feel its presence. I was never meant to meet a true death, so to die properly I must destroy it.”
My wristband buzzes—we have fifteen minutes left before Hysan lands. “Okay, fine, but we have to hurry.”
Ophiuchus leads us out of the room, and I keep close to him as we meander through the Mothership. I hear Party members talking and dragging luggage as they outfit ships for tonight’s takeoff, yet somehow we manage to avoid running into any of them. I wonder if the reason we’re taking such a roundabout path is that Ophiuchus can sense their Psynergy signatures.
We end up on the ship’s top level in the Holy Mother’s reading room, the round hall with crystal windows where we met Aquarius when we first arrived. “It’s in here?” I ask, staring skeptically at the open space. I don’t see anywhere to store anything like a Talisman.