*CHAPTER XVII*
Richard Selbourne stood in front of his South African home, blanklysurveying the cloudless heaven.
Over the white farm-buildings and tin-roofed kaffir huts a slumbrouspeace was reigning, for it was the hour of noonday rest, and men andbeasts alike lay placidly sleeping.
Clothing the shores of the great dam hard by--now shrunk to half itsusual proportions--the feathery willows drooped motionless, as though insilent lamentation of its fallen estate; even the restless windmill hadceased from toiling, and save for an occasional dismal clonk, utteredseemingly in its dreams, slumbered with the rest.
Stretching away on all sides from the small oasis of trees, lucernepatches, and dam, forming Rosebank Farm, rolled a sea of yellow grass,from which stuck up, like islands, saw-like ridge and conical kopje, andbeyond them could be seen a giant ring of brown, paper-like hills, theiroutline sharp-cut and rigid against a sky of hard vivid blue.
As he looked at the scene, a frown gathered on Richard's handsome face,and in impotent anger he shook his fist at the blandly-smiling heavens.
"Confound you!" he muttered, "why can't you hide your face and rain foronce in a while? My lucerne's withering, the dam will give out in afortnight, the beasts are dying in the fields. Gad, I came out here toget away from English mists and fogs, but I'd give something now to feelone of those same old yellow fogs in my throat again. England, London,shops, Club, Savoy--oh damn! I'll go in and sleep." Richard shook hissmart person--for clad though he was in weatherbeaten garments, patchedand stained, Selbourne possessed that indefinable air of "class," whichancient clothes but serve to emphasise--and walked slowly back to thehouse.
On the stoep the figure of a girl was standing, clad in ablack-and-white homespun riding-skirt, a white drill jacket, and a largegrey Terai hat. "Hullo, Stara," said Richard, seeing her; "now, whatthe blazes are you up to, not going out riding in this heat, surely?You'll get sunstroke to a moral, if you do. Hullo!" suddenly aware ofsomething unusual in her appearance, "what have you done to yourself?Lord, you've got on a habit, what's up? Oh!" and Richard's mouthexpanded into a grin; and he winked at his sister, whose facestraightway became bright red.
"And why shouldn't I put on a skirt?" she answered with dignity. "Iknow I usually do not, but----."
"But now he's coming you do."
"Nothing of the sort, I put it on because it's cooler. Don't keep me,please. I'm going to meet the Cape cart, as you're too lazy. Where'sPolly?"
"In bed and asleep, but I shouldn't worry if I were you. The boy oughtto know his way by now. I'm afraid though, old girl, this pal of yourswill have rather a dull time, nothing on earth to do but look at thesunset, and you, I suppose. What's the game, Stara, are you going tomake a job of it at last? Tell your brother, my child."
Again the vivid blush, but with it now a sharp stab of pain. Make a jobof it, yes. Tell her brother, not for a thousand worlds, though tentimes a thousand would Stara have given to be able to say, "I'm going tomarry him," instead of telling a lie--the first of many.
"There's nothing to tell you, Dick," she answered, looking away; "he's afriend, that's all. You know I have men friends without any thought ofother things."
"I'm aware you have, though the poor devils themselves thinkdifferently, I should say. Never mind, old lady, you carry on and dowhat you like; it's no business of mine; and it's dull enough for youhere, God knows, with only Polly and me."
"It is not, Dick, it is not, you must never think that, I love beinghere, and I--I hope you will like Colonel Graeme, though I'm afraidsomehow he's not quite the sort of man you would."
"Oh, I'll like him all right, Stara, don't you bother. I do mostfellows, unless they're wrong 'uns, and I know you wouldn't fancy one ofthat sort. Funny I never saw the chap when the '1st' came through herelast year. I dined with them, you know, and can remember most. Therewas a fellow called Porky, who never stopped talking till he got blind,and Graves, and Carson--good fellow, Carson--and old Royle, and yes,there was another chap none of them seemed to fancy. I didn't cotton tohim myself, either, though I don't know why. He set my teeth on edge,for some reason."
"What was he like, Dick?"
"Rum-looking fellow, long nose, pale face, black eyes, not a bit like asoldier. Wore a purple silk cap at dinner, I remember, with gold bugson it. Never saw such a thing in my life."
"Dick, it's he; but his eyes are not black, they're blue."
"Lord, you don't mean it, Stara? Damn, but I'm sorry, somehow. I wishit had been Carson--never mind, though. I dare say I was wrong, Iusually am, and, anyway, your bringing him here is good enough for me.I'm going in to sleep now. Bye-bye, old girl; don't overtire yourself;you look a bit white. Polly and I will be looking out for you when youget back."
"Dick, if--you'd rather not have him here, I'll arrange it. I'll tellhim you've sickness in the house, and that he must put up at the hotel.I could ride with him every day just the same."
"Hotel be blowed, Stara, what, a guest of mine put up at thatDuikerpoort drinking shanty. Thank'ye no, I don't do that sort ofthing. Now be off. Here's your pony, and tell Graeme from me he's verywelcome; don't forget," and Richard rather huffily pushed aside the caneblinds and disappeared into the house.
Stara mounted and rode slowly away, the old antagonists watching eachother once more across the battlefield of her mind--loyalty andstraight-dealing on the one side, and love on the other. Of strugglebetween them, however, there was now none, for the question had beenfought out three weeks before, on that day when the single word "Coming"had been flashed to her across six thousand miles of sea. Then indeedthe battle had been fierce but final, for Stara, unlike most women, didnot, her antagonist once down, lift him up again for the pleasure ofrenewing the combat with the consequent certainty of ultimate defeat.
Slower than Hector in decision, for to her the throwing overboard ofhonour and loyalty was a heart-wrenching pang, she nevertheless, in thisinstance, showed herself stronger than he, and the giving up of all oncedetermined on, the sacrifice would be made freely and unreservedly. Andso honour and loyalty were crushed down, and love remained alone on thefield. Her mouth hardened, she thrust aside the thought of what laybehind, and, striking her pony with her spurred heel, hurried on to thedestiny rushing to meet her.
For miles she rode without drawing rein, her mount lolloping easily on,as if impervious to heat or fatigue, till at length, some eight mileshaving been covered, she pulled up, and, dismounting, loosened thegirths and led the pony away from the track to a small rise a fewhundred yards away. Here she left him, the reins trailing loosely onthe ground--Basuto-bred, he would stay there, she knew, for hours--and,throwing herself down on the grass, lay there, with her eyes fixed onthe road ahead, a white thread seaming the yellow plain, till, topping adistant rise, it became lost to view.
Far below her, stretching across the track, a great herd of blesbok weremoving restlessly, their forms looking vague and unreal through thegauzy veil of heat. Save for them and a wide-winged lammergeier hangingmotionless in the blue vault above, sign of life there was none--veldt,kopje, and mountain slumbered undisturbed.
Suddenly Stara's body stiffened, her half-closed eyes opened wide, and alook almost of terror came into them, for the peace was broken at last,and the blesbok below, like her, were startled. Their aimlesswanderings ceased, the outlying groups drew in, till the herd became onesolid mass, and their heads were turned away from her towards the rise,beyond which the road dipped and was lost to sight.
Something had frightened them, but what? Then Stara's eyes grew wild asshe, too, saw what that something was--a small cloud of dust topping thehill, and then rapidly descending into the plain below her. For a whilethe herd stood staring, and then began to move away, at a walk first,then at a trot, and finally in a headlong gallop, bounding over thegrass for some miles, when they stopped, wheeled sharply about and againstood staring.
The cloud of dust drew nearer
, taking shape as it came, till a Cape cartdrawn by mules could be plainly seen. In the cart there were twofigures--one in black, with a conical hat, sitting bolt upright andbrandishing a whip; the other seemed strangely misty and indistinct toStara.
She rose, turned her eyes towards the browsing pony, and moved away;then stopped, with her mouth firm-set, and sat down once more.
"What a woman I am, after all," she muttered, "flight, hide for him topursue and find; we're all the same, pretend as we like. Heavens, howfast that cart's coming, what does Jacob mean by driving the mules likethat? Ah! they've seen me; there's the boy pointing with his whip,they're stopping, and it's come at last. Oh, I daren't look at him, Iknow he'll show elation, and I shall hate him."
"How do you do, Colonel Graeme?"
"Quite well, thank you, Miss Selbourne; that's the right answer, isn'tit? Damned fit I am, look at me and see."
Startled, Stara looked up, and fear vanished in amazement, for here wasno triumphant conqueror, but a stricken, haggard-eyed man. "He has doneit and regrets," she thought, and instantly was in revolt.
"It's so very good of you to come, Colonel Graeme, such a long journeyin the heat. Did you have a good passage? My brother is so lookingforward to seeing you, shall we get on? My pony's here, and----"
"Don't be a fool, I've not come eight thousand miles to see yourbrother, sit down."
"I think perhaps, as it's getting late----"
"Do you want to hear, or don't you? If not, I go back now."
"That--that depends. If ... you regret ... I don't."
"Bah!"
"Tell me."
"Kiss me first, not like that--properly." He caught Stara to him, andkissed her in a way that made her cheeks flame. She shrank backfrightened and ashamed.
"Does that look as though I regretted? Listen. I've broken with her,as I said I would. Please God, I'll never see her again, blast her!"
"Oh, Hector, hush! Why?"
"Because she failed to ... No, that's not the reason, because she won'tdivorce me. That settles us, you see, no marriage for you and me."
"I never expected it, Hector. I was ready for it. But ... there'ssomething more. What is it?"
"More, what more do you want, isn't that enough?"
"Hector, there is; there's something which has ... hurt you. It's notthe parting from her. I can see that. Dearest, I must--I will know."
"There's nothing, I tell you, me hurt, by the death of a blind brat?Oh, God, curse me for a babbling fool!"
"Good--good God!"
Hector turned savagely on her. "Why do you say that? What right haveyou to assume ... Take your arms away from me. Oh, you must hear, mustyou, satisfy your damned curiosity, I suppose? All right, you shall. Itold you on the ship I had no children. I lied; there was one, I'dnever seen her when I spoke. She was blind and sickly, but--God knowswhy--she ... liked me, used to crawl over me, and call me 'daddy,' me,Stara, 'daddy.' Laugh, curse you, laugh, you won't? Look here, then,"he dragged from his pocket the battered figure of James, and held itfrom him, wildly laughing, "here's what I play with at nights alone,croon and chuckle over it like the madman I am. Damn you, give itback--give it back, I say," for Stara had snatched James from his handand was holding him against her breast, her tears raining on the plush.Hector's hand fell to his side and he turned sharply away, then oncemore went on:
"And when I left--I did suddenly, one morning--she came out to find mein the garden. There was an east wind blowing, and she ... caught cold,I suppose, and she," the expression of his voice made Stara shrinkback--"the nurse wrote to me, let her die without me; she asked for me,but she wouldn't send till it was too late. Oh, don't be a fool andsnivel like that, who cares? I don't. She wouldn't have lived, in anycase. Oh, it didn't take much to kill my child, Stara, she paid in herbody for the rottenness of her father's soul. For I am rotten--rottento the core."
"You're not, you're not, no man can be who can love a child like that.Dearest, I won't have you say it, for you're mine, Hector, mine. Mylove is all yours now, and so am--I."
"Yes, with reservations. Oh, I know the sort of love--pure, no vile,earthly thoughts--thus far and no farther."
"No. I am not like that. I make no reservations. I give you all."
Hector stared, and, passion once more reawakening, he caught her by theshoulders; but Stara held him off, her grey eyes looking up into his.
"Wait, there is something you must promise me first. It--it may be,Hector, that in time there might come--another--oh, don't shrink awayfrom me, it hurts so much--and you'd love my--our child, wouldn't you,Hector? But if ... that should happen, you must take me away ... leavethe army, forsake ambition for--for love. Could you do that? Thinkwell before you answer, for it's a big thing, Hector."
Hector, however, was now in passion's grip, and reflection had becomeimpossible. Had Stara at that moment asked for the Southern Cross towear in her hair, he would have promised her that, or anything else; andwithout a second's hesitation, he swore, if called upon, to do herbidding.