Oh shit. Oh holy shit. She leaned forward and rested her hands on her thighs while she focused on sucking back air. She wasn’t just falling for him, she was falling in love with him. With a man who was just like her father. With a man who made her so crazy sometimes she wanted to pull her hair out. And she had no one to blame but herself. “I-I think I might pass out.”
“Right here?” Surprise lifted Gray’s voice, and he rested a hand on her back.
“Yes, right here.” She focused on the ground beneath her. Tried to push the panic down.
“Ryder!” Gray yelled.
Jake’s footsteps echoed close. “What’s wrong with her?”
“I don’t know. Said she feels lightheaded.”
“Marley?” Jake reached for her.
“I’m fine.” She stood quickly and moved out of Jake’s reach, not able to bear his touch just now. Not when her emotions were so raw and unguarded. She couldn’t be in love with the man. She couldn’t be. She was too smart for that. Wasn’t she?
He dropped his hand when she moved out of his reach, frowning at her in clear annoyance. And though she knew she was confusing the heck out of him, she didn’t care. Because she was fucking confused right now too. And more than anything she just wanted to get out of Colombia and back to the States where things made sense. Or used to, at least.
“I’m fine,” she said again, drawing a deep breath that did nothing to settle her nerves. “Let’s just go.”
Jake’s expression said he wasn’t convinced, but she swallowed hard and stepped past him, careful to stay out of his reach. And told herself she could fix this. As soon as they got home, as soon as everything got back to normal, she could make herself not love the man.
She had to. Because there was no way she’d ever survive loving Jake Ryder.
Something was up with Marley. Jake didn’t know exactly what, but ever since Grayson McKnight had shown up on the scene, Marley’s demeanor had done a complete one-eighty.
She definitely wasn’t being her normal sassy self. Wasn’t challenging Jake as she always did or gloating that she’d found McKnight, wasn’t even questioning Jake’s decision that they wait for Tony’s chopper in the dark on the edge of the airstrip. Since they’d found McKnight she’d barely said two words to Jake. And forget looking at him. The last time she’d glanced his way, when she’d felt sick on that street corner and he’d tried to help her, the look she’d shot him was one of complete disbelief. And at the moment her don’t-touch-me-vibe was completely clear as she sat on the other side of McKnight, as far from Jake as she could get.
He ground his teeth and glanced over the domed airstrip, telling himself whatever was going on with her wasn’t his issue. But he couldn’t stop thinking about it. And every time McKnight turned to talk to her and the two exchanged quiet words, the urge to slam his fist through McKnight’s face just for the fun of it curled Jake’s fingers into the palm of his hand.
You’re jealous, a tiny voice whispered in his ear.
He clenched his jaw hard. He wasn’t jealous, dammit. He was hot, sweaty, dirty, and ticked he was sitting out here, hiding from the Black Eagles, but he definitely wasn’t jealous. Not even close.
Red lights blinked above, drawing Jake’s attention, and he looked up, relieved the wait was finally over without any more drama. Grabbing his pack, he pushed to his feet. “That’s our chopper. Right on time.”
The single-engine helicopter lowered to the ground. Ducking low beneath the blades, Jake rushed forward. After pulling the cabin door open for Marley, he tossed his pack inside, then reached for the cockpit door.
“Haul ass, Ryder,” Tony Hughes said over the roar of the blades. “We’ve got company.”
Jake glanced over his shoulder, then muttered, “Fuck me.”
No more drama? In his dreams. At least twelve paramilitary soldiers were bearing down on the runway with automatic weapons in their hands, pointed straight at their chopper.
Jake slammed the cabin door, climbed into the seat beside Tony, then snapped his harness and pulled on a headset. “Buckle in,” he hollered at Marley over his shoulder.
She yelled something Jake couldn’t hear over the whir of the blades. At her side, McKnight reached for his seatbelt. Outside, the soldiers moved closer to the runway.
“Hold on, folks.” Tony pulled up on the collective, and the skids lifted off the ground. “Things are about to get dicey.”
Bullets pinged off the side of the aircraft as they rose in the air. McKnight shoved Marley’s head between her knees. Gripping the handhold above, Jake looked down toward the troops rushing the runway and spotted the rocket launcher being holstered onto one soldier’s shoulder.
“Son of a bitch.” He reached for the Glock at his thigh, braced his foot against the inside of the cockpit, then unstrapped his harness and gripped the handhold tighter. To Tony he said, “Don’t drop me.”
“Roger that, boss. Get the fucker.”
Jake kicked the cockpit door open. A gust of air rushed over his face, blowing his hair around. At his back, Marley yelled, “Jake! What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
He ignored her. And the way the wind jostled him in his seat. And the sound of her voice melding with the hum of the rotor blade. His focus zeroed in on the guy holding the rocket launcher. And everything else—her, McKnight, this damn situation, and, mostly, what would happen to her if he missed—drifted to the background. Closing one eye and clutching the handhold above, he lined up his shot.
Jake fired just as the warhead in the rocket launcher burst free of the weapon in a plume of smoke. Tony muttered, “Motherfucker,” then cranked on the cyclic, angling the chopper Jake’s way. “Hold on!”
Grunting at the shift in gravity, Jake tried to scoot back but his foot dislodged from its brace. His body weight pitched him toward the open door. He reached up for the handhold above, but his fingers only grazed the metal. Then he was falling.
Marley’s heart lurched into her throat as Jake’s body fell toward the open cockpit door.
She scrambled to free her seatbelt. Before she could get it unbuckled, Gray jerked from his seat and grabbed Jake’s arm, hauling him back into the chopper. Relief swept through her. She opened her mouth to scream at Gray not to let go, but Tony pitched the helicopter the other direction. The cockpit door slammed shut. The rocket went screaming past them and slammed into the canopy of the jungle with an explosion that shot a fireball straight into the air. Jake crashed into the center console between the two cockpit seats with a grunt.
He glanced up at Gray, muttered “Thanks,” then looked toward Tony. “A little warning would have been nice.”
Tony chuckled and pushed forward on the cyclic, gaining speed and putting distance between them and the airstrip. “Just trying to keep you on your toes. You’re getting soft in your old age, Ryder.”
Jake laughed, twisted in his seat, and looked out the window. Heart pounding, hands shaking, Marley’s gaze followed. Jake’s shot had hit the man holding the rocket launcher. He lay motionless on the runway. Others were hoisting the weapon to line up another shot, but the helicopter was quickly moving out of range.
They sailed out over the jungle. Jake and Tony joked in the cockpit as if falling out of a helicopter was no big deal. Gray relaxed back into the seat at her side.
But Marley couldn’t settle her whirring pulse.
Panic and a new sense of fear pummeled her chest. Followed by a blistering disbelief that colored her vision red. She squeezed her hand into a fist, clenched her jaw, didn’t know why she was getting so worked up now that everyone was safe, but couldn’t stop it from happening.
Did he have a death wish? Was he trying to prove how macho he could be? This was exactly like that mission in DC when he’d changed the op on her without notice and done his own damn thing. He hadn’t known what those security guards would do. Hadn’t kn
own Wilson would be there to tell them to stand down. He could have been killed then like now. He was always doing shit like this while she sat back and worried. While she tried to act like it didn’t faze her. While she pretended she didn’t care.
She did care, dammit. She cared too much, and he didn’t deserve it. Breathing deep through her nose, she blinked up at the ceiling, forcing back the burn in her eyes, forcing herself not to give in to the urge to climb over the seat and slap some sense into him once and for all.
Gray brushed a hand over her arm. “Hey, you okay?”
“Yeah. I’m fine. I just want to get the hell out of here.”
He reached for her hand and wrapped his fingers around hers, then laid his head back against the headrest. “You and me both. You have no idea how much.”
She didn’t pull her hand away, instead she studied his face because it gave her something to focus on besides the man in the front seat still acting as if almost dying was no big hairy deal.
Dirt streaked Gray’s cheeks. His hair was nothing but a rat’s nest. He didn’t look a thing like the man she’d once known, but she sensed that guy was under there somewhere. And all those questions she’d had about what had happened to him and where he’d been for so long came rushing back.
Now wasn’t the time to ask them. Pulling her gaze from Gray’s face, she looked up, and caught Jake twisted in his seat, staring at her with narrowed dark eyes. Her stomach tightened as his gaze dropped to Gray’s hand still holding hers against her thigh. Without a word he looked back up at her, clenched his jaw, and turned to look out the windshield of the copter, his shoulders tight, his head shaking as if he couldn’t believe what he was seeing.
Great. Just great. Now he thought there was something going on between her and Gray? She didn’t have the strength for this. Didn’t have the emotional fortitude to care what he thought because in the long run she knew it wouldn’t even matter.
Right now all that mattered was getting home and forgetting this trip had ever happened.
Jake tossed his pack on the leather seat in the cabin of the jet. The Bombardier Global 8000, parked at the airstrip in Puerto Asis, sported three different zones—the galley, where they entered; the main cabin complete with swivel chairs, a dining area, and couch; and a back stateroom. Tony’s copilot, Ben, already had the aircraft’s engines fired up and ready to go, and Jake moved out of the way so McKnight could pass, then headed for the cockpit to check in with the pilots to make sure they hadn’t been followed.
Marley mumbled something to McKnight at Jake’s back, but Jake didn’t hear what she said, nor did he care.
He pushed the cockpit door open. Tony was already sitting in the pilot’s seat. He glanced back at Jake, then flipped a switch above his head. “We’ve been cleared for takeoff.”
“No sign of our friends?”
“Not yet. That doesn’t mean they don’t have eyes and ears on the ground, though. Better to get out of here quickly.”
“I couldn’t agree more.”
“Grab a seat so we can lift off.”
Jake debated heading into the cabin with Marley and McKnight, then thought better of it. He wasn’t in the mood to watch her being all touchy-feely with McKnight again. Pulling the jump seat down, he decided he’d stay right where he was.
Ben, in the copilot seat, hit the intercom button. “Folks, we’re about to take off. Find your seats and buckle in.”
Tony maneuvered the plane toward the runway and rattled off instructions to Ben. Crossing his arms over his chest, Jake stared at the instrument panel and tried to keep his mind from wandering over the last few hours, but he kept seeing Marley holding hands with McKnight. And every time he thought of her, he couldn’t stop his brain from skipping back to last night. To the sounds she’d made when he’d been kissing her. To the way she’d felt above him, beneath him, closing around him. To the tiny droplet of sweat that had slid down her temple when she’d straddled his hips, lifted and lowered and taken him deeper. And finally to the adorable flush of her cheeks in the morning when she’d remembered what they’d done.
His skin grew hot. He frowned as the plane lifted off the runway, unable to stop the arousal and irritation from swirling in his belly. She was acting like last night hadn’t happened. Which was fine, because they’d both agreed it was a mistake, but seriously. She was letting McKnight get all handsy with her only hours after she’d rocked Jake’s world? Was that normal for her?
He didn’t know a hell of a lot about her personal life. He’d purposely never asked. But now he couldn’t stop himself from wondering. Was she this cavalier with all the guys she slept with or just him? And why the hell was she acting like McKnight was her long-lost love when she’d told Jake in the jungle that she’d known McKnight wasn’t the guy for her before he’d even disappeared?
“So what’s up with Marley and that McKnight character?” Tony asked.
Jake glanced toward the pilots only to realize they were in the air and that the plane was already leveling off. Shit, he’d zoned out all through takeoff. If that didn’t prove his head was in a really fucked-up place, nothing did.
He released the buckle on his harness and pushed to his feet. “Nothing.”
At least nothing he wanted to witness. She could do whatever the hell she wanted with McKnight when she got home, but not on his plane.
“I’ll check in with you guys later.”
The pilots exchanged curious looks, but Jake ignored them. He closed the cockpit door behind him, moved through the galley, and stepped into the main cabin.
Marley sat in a swivel chair by the window, a magazine in her lap, flipping pages with a perturbed expression. She’d pulled her hair back into a ponytail, swiped the dirt off her face, and tugged on a clean blue V-neck T-shirt that dipped down to her cleavage. But she was still wearing the slim-fitting cargo pants that made her ass look way too good, her cute little feet were still covered by the clunky boots he was sure had to be as damp as his, and she still looked adorably sexy in that rugged jungle girl outfit when he needed her to look anything but.
He clenched his jaw, told himself sexy was an opinion, not a fact—one he could change if he tried hard enough—and rested his hands on his hips. “Where’s McKnight?”
“Taking a shower.”
His gaze shot to the closed stateroom door ahead. “You let him use my shower?”
“And I gave him some of your clothes.”
Jake bit down. “I don’t want him wearing my damn clothes.”
“Get over it, Jake.” She slapped her magazine closed and pushed to her feet, pinning him with a hard glare. “I think you can afford to donate a few items of clothing to a good cause.”
She pushed past him and stepped into the galley. Shocked by her blasé attitude, he turned to look after her. “What I can afford isn’t the issue here. And whether or not he’s a good cause remains to be seen. I’m still not convinced he was worth rescuing.”
“Oh, for crying out loud.” She opened the cupboard above, pulled a glass off the shelf, then shoved the lower cabinet door open and poured a generous shot of whiskey. “He saved your life in that helicopter. If it weren’t for him your brains would be smashed all over that runway.”
“I didn’t ask for his help.”
She tossed her drink back, then set the glass on the counter with a click. “No, you didn’t, did you?”
She moved back into the cabin, but the animosity radiating off her in waves made Jake suddenly too fired up to let her pass. “Hold on.” He reached for her arm and tugged her around. “I don’t know what your problem is, but ever since McKnight showed up you’ve been acting like a completely different person.”
“I don’t have a problem. And this has nothing to do with Gray. It has to do with you.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“It means you have two rules, one
for everyone else and one for Jake Ryder, and I’m tired of it.”
He frowned down at her. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, you do. You go all ape shit on the Aegis guys if they react without thinking, but you do it all the damn time. Unsnapping your harness and kicking that helicopter door open is a prime example.”
“Wait.” He let go of her arm, unable to keep up. “You’re mad because I saved your life? If I hadn’t done that, we’d probably all be dead.”
“Or we might not be. But we’ll never know because you didn’t think about anyone else in that moment besides yourself.”
She turned away again, but he grabbed her arm and whipped her back once more, his own temper shooting up to the point where he knew he needed to close his mouth and back away from this, but for some reason couldn’t. “Hold on. Just who the hell do you think I risked my life to save back there? Who did I chase around the jungle these last three days? Who nearly gave me a heart attack every time she disappeared? Who did I spend two freaking days tracking to Colombia, when everyone else ignored the fact she’d up and left with no explanation? Who, Marley? Do you need a hint? Because I’ll tell you right now, I sure as shit didn’t do any of those things for your boyfriend in there.”
She stared at him, her chest rising and falling with her heavy breaths beneath the thin T-shirt, her eyes hard and fiery. He knew he’d just crossed a line, that he’d let himself get worked up when he should have just bit his damn tongue. But the woman had a way of getting under his skin, digging in until he wanted to scream, and the words had spilled out before he’d even thought to stop them.
He drew in a deep breath, let it out slowly, tried to settle his frayed temper, and realized—belatedly—that maybe she had a point. A small one. But he wasn’t ready to yield to her on it yet. Not when McKnight was the bigger problem hanging over everything.