She pulled her gaze from his and climbed into the car without another word. And as he shut the door and watched the vehicle pull away, he caught McKnight’s gaze in the side mirror.
No, that wasn’t just jealousy in the other man’s eyes. There was something more there. He was something more.
And Jake was determined to find out what.
Marley pushed the potatoes around on her plate, then moved her fork to the steamed broccoli, unable to focus on anything Gray was saying. She wasn’t quite sure how she’d gotten herself into this situation, but the last place she wanted to be was having a quiet, candlelit dinner with the man in her father’s ritzy guesthouse.
“You’re not eating.”
“Huh?” She looked up. He was sitting across from her at the dining room table wearing a green sweater that matched his eyes and stretched across his broad shoulders. Firelight flickered over his handsome features and accentuated his blond hair. And not for the first time since they’d come home did she wonder why she wasn’t attracted to him like she’d been before.
“Your food.” He nodded toward her plate. “You’ve barely touched your dinner.”
“Oh.” She glanced down. “Sorry. I had a late lunch. I didn’t realize you were cooking. If I’d known,” she lied, “I would have waited.”
Her phone buzzed on the table beside her plate, and she reached for it quickly, a shot of disappointment rushing through her when she realized it was just her father texting to see how dinner was going.
He was pushing her toward Gray. She wasn’t naïve enough not to notice. Five years ago, he hadn’t wanted her dating the man, but now it was like he was waiting for her to fall into Gray’s arms. She knew it was because her father felt guilty over everything that had happened to Gray and because he was trying to mend his battered relationship with her, but his one-eighty in attitude was making her head spin.
“He’s not going to text you, you know.”
She let go of her phone and glanced up. “Who?”
“Ryder.”
Marley’s pulse picked up speed, and she quickly let go of her phone and reached for her fork. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. I saw the way he looked at you. Judging from your reaction, you saw it too.”
Marley’s pulse turned to a whir in her ears, and a whisper of guilt—all that guilt she’d carried for five years—rolled over her like fog creeping along the valley floor. “Ryder and I are just colleagues.”
“You sure about that?”
His posture was relaxed, one forearm resting on the table, his other hand gently swirling the red wine in his glass. But his eyes were as focused as she’d ever seen them, and she knew what he was asking even though he didn’t come right out and say it. More of that guilt rushed in, making her feel even worse. “Gray—”
“It won’t work between the two of you. You know that, too, right?”
“I—”
“He’s not a team player,” Gray went on. “He’s an I-guy. He always has to be in control, always has to call the shots, is always the one telling everyone else what to do.”
Marley’s throat went dry, and the protest died on her lips. Gray was right, that was Jake to the letter, but she didn’t want to agree with him. Not when she didn’t know where he was going with this.
“Tell me if I’m wrong. I bet he’s never had a long-lasting relationship. He views women as expendable. Good for a night or two but not much more. The people who work for him probably don’t like him all that much, but they put up with him because he pays them well. And I’m guessing he doesn’t hire too many women to work in his little black ops company. Why would he when women just get in the way?”
Marley’s stomach rolled, and she reached for her wine. “You seem to know a lot about a man you’ve barely met.”
“I know him because I was him, Marlene.”
She swallowed the sip of wine and met his gaze. His unwavering, intense, burning gaze that seemed to look right through her.
He sighed and leaned back. “Five years in a Colombian prison makes you reevaluate your priorities. I was Ryder. I did all that shit. I told people what to do, had to be in control all the time, and I used women because I didn’t have a reason not to. I started dating you to get in good with your father so he’d give me the best assignments. It was a stupid thing to do. I knew you deserved better, but I didn’t care. I even knew you were planning to break things off with me before I left.”
A lump formed in her throat. “Gray—”
“No, don’t try to make me feel better. I was a shit, and we both know it. But I’m not that guy anymore.”
He leaned forward, gently pulled her hand away from her wine glass, and closed his fingers around hers. “I wasn’t lying when I said the thought of you kept me alive. It did. It also made me realize you were the best thing in my life. I have a lot to make up for, but because of you, I have the chance to do that. And I want to do that with you.”
Marley’s heart beat fast against her ribs. “I don’t—”
“Look, I know your life is different now. I know you think you’ve got this thing going with Ryder, but we both know that’s never going to work out. It’s a fantasy. It can’t be anything more because he doesn’t appreciate you the way I do. I won’t hold you back, Marlene. I’ll never tell you what to do. If you give me a chance, I’ll prove to you that I’m the guy you should be with.”
“Gray, I . . .” Pressure condensed in her chest, made it hard to breathe. She let go of him and pushed back from the table, needing air, needing a moment to think. Grabbing her phone, she turned, frantically searching for her purse. “I-I have to go.”
“Marlene, wait.”
There it was. On the entry table. Hands shaking, she crossed to it and tossed the strap over her shoulder.
“Let’s,” he said at her back, “let’s talk about this.”
She stopped at the door and looked up at him. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she needed to make him understand. This was too much. It was all just too much.
“I heard what you said. I did. And I get it. I’m just . . .” She looked around the entry, searching for the right words. “A week ago I thought you were dead, and now you’re asking me to make a decision about a future I didn’t even know was out there. I can’t think. It’s happening too fast. I can’t—”
“Okay.” His big hands landed on her shoulders and then slowly traveled up and down her biceps. “Okay, just breathe. I know that was a lot to throw at you. It’s just . . .”
He hesitated. Blew out a breath. Stared at her. “When you see the end of your life, you realize what’s important. It’s not money or possessions or the past. It’s people. And when you have a chance to live again, you don’t want to wait to start that living. Time is precious. Life is precious, Marlene. It can be gone before you know it. We spend our lives worrying about things that don’t matter. Spend way too much time wasting it on people who will never be able to give us what we need. I don’t want to do that anymore. I know what I want, and that’s you. I can make you happy. Your father knows it too or he wouldn’t be pushing us together.” One side of his lips curled in a sexy half smile. “All you have to do is give me a chance to prove that to you.”
Her mind drifted to what a future with him would look like. She’d loved him once—or thought she had. But how could she be sure she’d ever feel that way again when that so-called love had faded so fast? And if she did what he asked, if she gave him a chance, what would happen with Jake?
The memory of Jake’s mouth moving over hers, of his hands traveling down her spine to grab her hips filled her head. Jake’s. Not Gray’s. She’d sensed Jake wanted to say something to her when they’d been standing beside her father’s car, but he hadn’t. And suddenly, she needed to know what he’d been holding back. Needed it l
ike she needed air to breathe.
“I have to go, Gray.” She reached for the door handle at her back and pulled the door open. “I-I’ll call you tomorrow.”
“Marlene, just stay. Finish your dinner.”
No, she couldn’t stay. She needed to see Jake, needed to talk to him, needed to figure out what the heck was really happening between them once and for all. She stepped out on the front porch and then moved down the steps, snow crunching under her shoes as she headed for her car.
Her fingers shook as she shoved the keys in the ignition and started her Audi. One glance up as she backed around told her Gray was still standing on the porch, watching her go.
She gripped the steering wheel in both hands as she passed the monstrous main house on her father’s property and turned down the long tree-lined drive that led to the highway. Lights burned in the windows, but she didn’t stop. Couldn’t handle listening to her father drone on again about Gray, at least not right now.
She flipped her headlights to low beam as she pulled onto the highway and headed toward Louisville. Cars passed going the opposite direction. Horse farms with their white pristine fences rolled across the snowy, dark hillsides, but she barely saw them. All she saw in her mind was Jake. All she thought about was their night together in that village. All she felt was a warm, aching thump in the center of her chest, followed by a flutter of nerves that rushed through her belly.
The drive into Louisville seemed to fly. It wasn’t until she was already in the suburbs, moving slowly through neighborhoods, looking for Jake’s street, that she realized she didn’t have a clue what she was going to say to him.
She couldn’t just barge in and demand to know how he felt about her. He’d never answer. Those nerves kicked up until her fingers trembled against the wheel. A little voice urged her to just go home, but she didn’t want to. She needed answers once and for all. Which meant she had to come up with a legitimate reason for going to his house after dark on a Sunday night.
She found the street, took a right onto the icy road, and drove slowly as she glanced at house numbers. The street was wide, with big old oak trees lining the road on both sides and two-story middle-class homes on large lots. Snow was pushed up against the curbs, and the houses were nice—wide porches, shutters hanging on windows, neatly manicured trees and, she guessed, lawns under all that snow. But they were a far cry from the mansion where Jake had grown up, which now housed Aegis headquarters. And they were nothing like any of the luxury properties he owned around the globe.
The properties. She could use that as her excuse. She still had the paperwork he’d yet to sign for the properties he wanted to sell somewhere in her car.
She spotted his house at the end of the cul-de-sac. A two-story craftsman style home that looked only a few years old. His Tahoe was parked out front. She pulled around and parked in front of his house. Killed the engine. Tugged off her seatbelt. But couldn’t get out. Looking up at the house, she sat where she was and stared at the warm glow inside.
Her heart pounded hard. Her skin grew damp. What the heck was she doing? This was a stupid idea. He was going to see through her excuse like tissue paper. She could get the paperwork signed tomorrow—Monday morning—at work. As soon as she walked up to that door, he was going to say just as much. But even if he let her in, even if they started talking, what would she do if he told her something she didn’t want to hear? Was she ready for that?
She swallowed the lump in her throat. Stared down at the steering wheel. She didn’t know what answer she wanted from him, but tonight was not the night to ask the question. Not when she was still so tired and stressed and . . . scared. Scared of making the wrong choice, scared of not having a choice, but, mostly, scared to death of getting her heart broken. And as much as she didn’t want to admit it, he was the one person who had the power to do just that.
Decision made, she started the engine, pressed down on the gas, and turned out of the cul-de-sac. But in her desperate attempt to flee, she gave the engine too much gas, and the car lurched forward. The tires skidded toward the right. Her adrenaline shot up when she realized she was going sideways. She tried to turn into the skid to gain traction, but there was nowhere to go. Before she could even correct, the front of her car slammed into the base of the streetlight.
Her head cracked against the window to her left. Her body shot forward. Pain spiraled across her skull as she slumped over the wheel. Wincing, she tried to lean back, but the car felt as if it was suddenly spinning.
She pressed a hand against her forehead, drew her fingers away, and saw the blood. Her stomach rolled. Glancing out the windshield toward the front of her car, she spotted the dented front end of her vehicle.
The engine had died, but the lights were still on. She tried to start the car again. Panic pushed at her as she turned the key, but nothing happened. She pressed down on the gas and turned the ignition. “Come on. Please.”
A banging sound against the glass made her jump and yelp. Marley jerked away from the driver’s door, then felt her heart sink.
Jake stood outside her window wearing a loose sweatshirt, jeans, and snow boots. And he was looking at her like she’d just lost her freakin’ mind.
Which, considering everything that had happened, she was pretty sure she already had.
Jake’s heart shot into his throat when he looked through the glass. Reaching quickly for the car’s door handle, he jerked the door open. “Marley? Holy hell. What are you doing?”
“I . . .” Marley pressed a hand to her head and hissed in a breath. “Ouch.”
Blood trickled down her temple from beneath her fingers, making his heart race even faster. Leaning inside the vehicle, he quickly reached for her seatbelt only to realize she wasn’t strapped in. “God Almighty, woman.”
She slid one leg out of the car, but he captured her before she could stand and swept her up into his arms. “Don’t move.”
She scrunched up her face and pushed her other hand against his shoulder as he kicked the door closed and carried her away from the car. “I’m fine, Jake.”
“Yeah, we’ll see about that. You’re bleeding. And why weren’t you wearing your seatbelt? Seatbelts save lives, you know. And heads.”
“Lapse in judgment, I guess.”
“You seem to be having a lot of those lately.”
“Is that a crack about my driving or my life?”
“On this one I’m keeping my mouth closed.” He caught the doorknob with his hand, turned and pushed it open with his hip, then carried her into the entry and closed the door with his boot. Moving down the two steps into his sunken living room, he headed for the leather couch near the fireplace, then set her down. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll be right back.”
“Don’t worry.” With her hand still pressed against the cut on her forehead, she winced. “I won’t.”
Jake’s pulse thumped as he rummaged around in the medicine cabinet of his bathroom. What the heck was she doing here late on a Sunday night? She’d never just dropped by before. And holy shit, what was she thinking driving around in the dark when it was icy?
He found bandages, antiseptic, and acetaminophen. Carrying it all back into the living room, he couldn’t stop his mind from spinning. Had something happened with McKnight? Had the prick tried or done something to hurt her? He’d like nothing more than to drive out to her father’s house and pound his fist into the guy’s face just for the fun of it.
His feet stilled as he stepped out of the hall and caught sight of Marley on his couch. She’d taken off her jacket and the loose blue blouse beneath and tossed them both over the arm of the sofa. Wearing nothing but a fitted white tank that accentuated her breasts and made her skin look darker, slim jeans that molded to her hips and legs, and tiny black flats she never should be walking on snow with, she pulled her hand away from the cut on her forehead, grimaced at the sight, then reapplied pressure
to the wound.
She shouldn’t look sexy sitting there, but she did. Warmth gathered in his belly, slinked into his groin. Clearing his throat, he pushed his feet forward and moved down the steps toward her. Told himself she wasn’t sexy, she was hurt. Then mentally ticked off all the reasons he needed to stop looking at her like a woman and go back to seeing her as just his assistant.
“Here.” He sat next to her on the couch. “Turn toward me.”
She shifted one leg underneath her and twisted to face him, then pulled her hand away from her forehead. “How bad is it?”
He focused on her forehead, not the cleavage staring him in the face. Carefully, he swiped at the blood with gauze. A nice-size lump had already formed and had to hurt like a bitch. “I don’t think it needs stitches, but you’re gonna have a nasty bruise.”
She winced when he gently applied antiseptic and then blew over the wound to ease the sting. “Serves me right.”
He set the antiseptic on the coffee table, then reached for a bandage. After pulling the tape off, he gently placed it over her wound. “How is it you can tromp through the jungle where ten thousand dangerous things are trying to kill you and not get a scratch, then get hurt doing something as simple as driving a car?”
“I don’t know. I’m just lucky, I guess.”
“You’re something, that’s for sure.” He set the plastic tabs from the bandage on the coffee table, then turned to face her. “Just look at me.”
“Um.” She stilled and blinked several times. “Why?”
He captured her face in his hands and tipped her eyes up to his. “Because I’m checking to see if you have a concussion.”
“I’m fine, Jake.”
“Says the girl who just plowed her car into a light pole. And don’t roll your eyes at me, either.”