In every picture she was happy. In every picture she looked relaxed, content, not a thing like the snarky, worry-about-everyone woman he knew so well.
His stomach churned, and he forced his fingers to page down once more.
The last three photos were lined up side by side. As if taken in succession. And they didn’t include Marley. They were only of McKnight. Opening a shop door, about to step inside. Coming outside holding a small, pale-blue box. And the last, standing on the street with that open box, looking down at a ring.
The first photos were clearly taken by friends. These last three—time-stamped after the others—looked to be from security footage from a store. Jake focused on the building and immediately recognized the name. Cartwright’s. One of the most prestigious and well-known jewelers in all of Kentucky.
A hard, cold knot formed in the pit of his belly, chilling all the warmth he’d been feeling before. Sitting back, he scrolled up to the first picture and stared at Marley’s smiling face as she looked up at McKnight.
She rarely smiled like that with Jake. He could only remember one time with him when she’d been that happy, and it was when she’d danced around the fire in that jungle village. The rest of the time she was irritated or frustrated or ready to pull her hair out because of him. Incredible sexual chemistry didn’t equal happiness, and it sure didn’t change any of the other issues still simmering between them or in his past. And holy hell, the guy had bought her a ring.
Out of nowhere, Marley’s words in Colombia echoed in his head.
“Every woman thinks about getting married.”
His hands grew sweaty. That knot tightened in his belly. Is that what she wanted? Marriage? McKnight had obviously been ready for that. It didn’t matter if the guy had given her that ring or not. Just the fact he’d bought it meant he was ten thousand steps ahead of where Jake was now or ever would be in the future.
He pushed to his feet. Covered his mouth with his hands. Tried like hell to settle the sudden pounding in his veins as he paced the length of his home office.
He didn’t want to get married. Knew he’d make a shitty husband. Didn’t even want to think about kids. And holy hell, Marley probably wanted that. Wanted them. Probably several. All women did at some point. The last thing he could fathom was screwing up some poor kid’s life the way his had been screwed by his selfish parents. All that panic came raging back, only this time it rushed over him like a tidal wave, filling him like water fills the lungs of a drowning man.
Shit. Shit! He hadn’t just messed things up, he’d fucked them royally. He’d let lust get in the way of the only thing that really mattered. And now, thanks to his inability to keep his hands to himself, he might just lose the second-best thing in his life.
She’s the first. Stop fooling yourself.
She was. Which was why he couldn’t let either of them be tricked into thinking this—thing—between them would ever work. Because it wouldn’t. His father was right. He was a major disappointment. He’d fuck up her life sooner or later, whether he wanted to or not. The only way to save her from himself was to let her go. And hope that maybe her loyalty to the guys, to Aegis, would be enough to make her stay.
You are so totally fooling yourself. She’s gonna ditch Aegis so fast your head will spin.
She would. His eyes slid closed. But even as he accepted that, one solution came to mind. One he hoped would get through to her.
It was a long shot. She might balk. Acting like he didn’t care just might kill him, but he had to give it a try.
Decision made, he flipped off the monitor and stared at the dark screen. Thought about her lying naked in his guest bed upstairs, and fought the urge to slide back between the sheets with her one more time.
His chest stretched so tight he thought it might just tear open right down the middle. But it didn’t. It just kept on aching like a motherfucker.
Screw it. He headed up the stairs for the shower in his master bath. Drew up that wall that had protected him most of his adult life. Bypassed the guest room and didn’t even slow his steps. And told himself that no matter what happened in the morning, he was doing the right thing.
He just hoped someday he believed it.
Marley blinked into the morning light and focused on the window only feet from the bed where she lay. The snow had stopped falling sometime in the night, and crisp winter sunlight streamed over her and the mattress, warming her underneath the thin sheet.
Her muscles were sore, but her body felt relaxed, her limbs loose, her skin alive. Memories of the night before echoed through her mind, making her skin tingle, making a sultry heat roll through her belly and slink between her legs.
She couldn’t stop the smile from pulling at the corners of her mouth. Rolling to her back, she looked up at the ceiling and tried not to grin but couldn’t seem stop it. She hadn’t expected that. Hadn’t expected anything really. Wasn’t even sure why she’d come to Jake’s house. But she’d liked it. Liked it a lot. And wanted more right this minute.
She rolled to her other side to entice Jake into another round of mind-blowing lovemaking, then frowned when she realized she was alone. Pushing up to sitting, she tugged the sheet up to her breasts and glanced around the empty room.
His jeans were gone but his sweatshirt was still on the floor in a pile. She listened, hoping to hear him somewhere in the house, but the only sound came from her—slow, uneven breaths. A whisper of worry rippled through her, and then she caught the scent of freshly brewed coffee hovering in the air. She glanced at the clock. 6:09 a.m.
It was Monday. A work day. Before she could stop it, another smile pulled at her mouth when she pictured him downstairs making coffee, trying to get her up so he could get her to the office—slave driver that he was.
She slid out of bed, reached for his sweatshirt from the floor, and slipped it on. Coffee sounded heavenly right now, but not as heavenly as dragging him back to bed for another hour or two. No one would miss them—at least not for a few hours. And what was the point of being the boss if you couldn’t play hooky without consequences every now and again?
The sweatshirt hit her mid thigh, and the sleeves bunched around her wrists because they were so long. But she liked the way the cotton felt against her skin, and more than anything she liked the scent of him all over her body. Cups clinked in the kitchen, and she smiled wider when she imagined him pouring her coffee wearing nothing but that grin she’d put on his face when she’d taken him into her mouth late last night and made him forget his own name.
She was just about to reach for the door handle when she noticed her cell on the bedside table. Picking it up, she glanced at the screen, then winced. Nine missed calls. All from Gray.
She didn’t want to talk to him. Didn’t want to think about him right now. Replacing the phone on the nightstand, she headed out the door and down the steps. The scent of freshly brewed coffee pulled at her, but it was the man making the coffee she really wanted to see. The one who’d done and said things last night she was never going to forget.
Her feet stilled when she turned the corner and caught sight of him standing at the counter, pouring steaming liquid into two cups. The smile faded from her lips. He wasn’t naked like she’d hoped. He wasn’t even wearing the worn jeans he’d snagged from the floor before leaving her. He was dressed as he always was for work—Hugo Boss dress shirt, crisp Brooks Brothers slacks, Prada dress shoes that probably cost more than his couch.
He glanced over his shoulder. “Oh, you’re up. I was about to wake you.”
He’d clearly been up for a while now. He’d showered, shaved, and dressed. This from the man who never made it into the office before nine. Her gaze skipped to the kitchen table, where work folders were stacked as if he’d just gone through each one. And open on the table was the blue file filled with the property contracts she’d left in her car. Contracts, she could tell from where
she stood, he’d already signed.
That whisper of worry morphed to a knot of apprehension in the pit of her stomach. When had he left her bed? She’d thought he’d stayed the whole night, but now she was starting to wonder if he’d stayed at all. Without making eye contact, he crossed to her, handed her the mug, careful, she noticed, not to touch her, then moved for the table.
“These are all signed, so you can fax them to the realtors.” He flipped the folder closed and dropped it on top of the others. “Your car’s already at the mechanic’s. Should be ready this afternoon. In the meantime, you can drive the Explorer in the garage to work when you’re ready. It’s smaller than the Tahoe. Figured it’d be easier for you.”
Two things hit her at once. They weren’t going to work together, and he was leaving soon without her. The apprehension inched up to unease. An unease that made her skin prickle, and not in a good way.
She took a step toward the table, hoping she was reading too much into things and that he wasn’t trying to avoid her the way it seemed. “You’re up early.”
“Yeah.” He flipped another folder closed and tossed it on the stack. “Eve’s going bat-shit crazy at the office. Said if I didn’t get my ass back there today she was going to light the place on fire. I really don’t want to have to file an insurance claim thanks to an unstable employee.”
Marley’s apprehension eased and slowly drifted away. Okay, that made sense. They’d both been away from the office for a week. Eve was probably going nuts with the paperwork and managing the guys on the ops.
Marley pulled out a chair at the table, tucked her leg under her, and sat down. She really wanted to slide over there and tug that tie off his neck, but she restrained herself—just in case. “You asked Eve to cover for me?”
“It was either her or Archer. She volunteered both of them. I said no way. Last thing I need is the two of them having sex on my desk.”
Marley smiled and wrapped her hands around her warm mug. “What makes you so sure they haven’t already done that?”
“Because I sent Archer to meet with a client in Dallas.”
“Ah.” Marley lifted the cup to her lips and sipped. “And therein lies Eve’s bad mood.”
“Yep.” He tucked the files into his computer bag on the chair beside him. “Look, I gotta go before she sends one of the guys into a combat situation just for the fun of it, but feel free to help yourself to any food you can find. Coffee’s hot, keys to the Explorer are on the hook near the garage door, and there are fresh towels in the upstairs bath if you want to take a shower.”
He was running. The thought hit her hard in the stomach, made that unease come rushing back. She knew he was running because she’d done the same thing to Gray last night.
He pulled the strap of his bag over his shoulder and moved through the kitchen and then out into the living room. And feeling like an idiot, she rose and followed, unsure what to say.
This was awkward. This was morning-after-sex awkward. And way more awkward than their morning after in the jungle.
“Jake, I—”
He turned in the entryway, but he didn’t meet her eyes. And though she couldn’t be sure, it looked as if he were focusing on the Notre Dame emblem on her chest. “Look, about last night . . .”
When he hesitated, her unease shifted to full-on panic. Those words never preceded anything good.
His gaze finally lifted to hers. But she couldn’t read his emotions. His dark eyes were as guarded as she’d ever seen them. “It was great. No, it was better than great, it was amazing. But—”
Oh shit, here came the but.
“—we can’t let it happen again. It would be irresponsible considering we work together and that people are relying on us to keep them alive. This last week has been way out of character for both of us, and I just think . . . I think it would be better all around if we went back to the way things were before. When everything was simple and we were just friends.”
A sick feeling brewed in her stomach, one that threatened to inch its way up her throat. She swallowed it back, unable to come up with a response, unable to think about anything besides the word “friends.”
A bitter reality settled hard in her gut. She was a fool. A giant, pathetic fool. She’d stupidly thought his coming to her had been the start of something incredible, when the hard, cruel truth was, to him, it had been nothing more than another one-night stand in his string of easy hookups. And now that it was over, he wanted to go back to being “friends.”
“You’re not saying anything, Marley.”
What the hell could she say? “There really isn’t anything to say, is there? It’s already been said.”
His shoulders relaxed. “I knew you’d see it the same way. Honestly, I’m surprised you didn’t say it first.” He turned and reached for the door handle behind him. “Take your time coming in this morning. I’ll make sure Eve puts all your stuff back where it belongs. I know how much it irritates you when people mess with your system.”
He winked at her, stepped outside, then closed the door behind him as if nothing had happened.
Marley stared at the door, listening to the sound of his engine starting. When it faded in the distance, she sank to the ground.
Her body ached, no longer in a good way, but from exhaustion. From fatigue. From knowing she’d spent three years wasting her time. Jake was never going to change. Nothing between them was ever going to change. And no matter how long she stayed, he would never see her as anything more than his secretary.
Emptiness rolled through her. No anger, no sadness, just . . . nothing. And she knew right then that she had a choice. She could keep living this life that would never be what she wanted, or she could make a change.
She pushed to her feet before her foolish heart could change her mind, moved into Jake’s office, and flipped on his monitor. An e-mail popped up, but she closed it, then pulled up a Word document. Typing quickly, she hit Print, then hurried up the stairs to find her clothes and her cell phone.
Five minutes later she was dressed in the same jeans and sweater she’d worn last night. She grabbed the letter from his printer, took it into the kitchen, and used the pen he’d left on the table to sign her name. Leaving both next to the file folder he’d grabbed from her car, she stepped toward the garage door, then remembered the band around her ankle.
She perched her foot on a chair, tugged her pants up, and eyed the woven leather anklet. A sense of loss rolled through her, but she pushed it aside. The stupid bracelet didn’t mean anything. It was nothing but a reminder of something that never should have happened. And now more than ever, she was ready to put it and the last three years behind her for good.
She untied the band, dropped it on the paper she’d signed, then grabbed the keys from the hook near the garage door, and headed for his Explorer.
She closed the car door at her side, then hit the garage door opener. Sunlight streamed into the garage as the door went up. Her gaze caught on her purse sitting on the passenger seat.
And for the first time since Jake had made his little morning-after announcement, anger rolled through her. A hot, bubbling anger that gave her purpose. He’d thought of everything. Everything but her.
She shoved the car into reverse, backed out of his garage, hit the button to close the door. And she didn’t once look back at everything she was leaving behind.
Jake checked his cell phone for the tenth time, glanced at the clock on the wall in his office, and tried to fight back the wave of panic. It was three thirty in the afternoon, and Marley still hadn’t shown up.
She wasn’t coming in. He’d known she’d probably balk. He’d just hoped her loyalty to the guys would outweigh her hatred for him. Obviously he’d been wrong.
A hard, sharp ache settled beneath his breastbone. One he couldn’t get rid of no matter how he tried. And it hadn’t helped his mood. He was bei
ng short with anyone who came into the office, but he just couldn’t stop himself. More than anything, he wanted to drive to her house and tell her he was sorry, that he was a dick, that he didn’t mean it, but he couldn’t. Couldn’t because this time he was determined not to make things worse. He had to hold on to the hope she’d eventually see the logic in his pathetic argument, take pity on him, and come back to Aegis.
Knowing he was doing no good here, he grabbed his coat and decided—for once—he’d cut out early. He stepped out of his office and caught sight of a framed painting his father had bought at some stuffy auction. A familiar bitterness trickled through him. One that reminded him of his conversation with Marley last night.
She was right. He needed to remodel the damn place. Get every memory of his father out once and for all so he could breathe. He just prayed he wouldn’t be doing it without her.
“Don’t tell me you can’t find the file. I know it’s in there!”
The male voice coming from Marley’s office drew Jake toward her door. Mick Hedley sat behind her desk, his surfer blond hair falling in his eyes as his big hands hacked at her keyboard. “What are you doing here, Hedley?”
Mick glanced up, frowned, then refocused on the screen and hit another key. “Trying to get my flight information. I’m heading to Canada to meet with a client. Marley was supposed to send it to me, but didn’t.”
Jake’s heart pinched, but he ignored it. Moving around behind Marley’s desk, he eyed the folders on the screen. “Try that one. AU.”
Mick moved the cursor and clicked. Sure enough, all his information came up—personnel files, itineraries, health information. “What the hell?”