He turned and left, moving behind the crowd that was pushing toward her from all sides. Marley’s legs wobbled. She took a step to follow him, but Gray rushed over and pulled her with him, back toward her father in the middle of the room.
“Don’t be mad,” he whispered near her ear. “He misunderstood. I asked if I could propose, not that I already had. But this is a good mistake. Now that everyone knows, we can focus on the ceremony and what comes after.”
His words floated in Marley’s head like a fog. The room spun around her. Her vision blurred. A line of people she couldn’t identify hugged her and wished her well. The orchestra played a festive song as muddled faces passed. Champagne corks popped and glasses clinked through the room, but her head grew lighter and lighter, and the only thing she could hear was Jake’s hurt voice echoing in her head.
Congratulations . . .
Panic trickled through her chest. He’d wanted to tell her something. He’d said it was important. But her father had interrupted him before he’d had the chance. Oh God. He thought . . .
Congratulations.
Panic turned to a fear that shook every part of her body. She gripped Gray’s arm on her left, then her father’s on her right, but she didn’t look at either man. “I’ll be right back.”
“Marlene,” Gray said as she turned away from them both. “Wait.”
“Marley?” Her father’s voice rang out at her back. “Are you okay?”
Was she okay? Hell no. She was about to lose it. And she needed to find Jake before that happened.
Voices echoed. She didn’t stop, couldn’t turn and look, didn’t answer. She headed for the exit, didn’t even bother to search for Jake in the crowd. Knew instinctively that he’d already left.
Cool air slapped across her face as she stepped outside the clubhouse and scanned the main parking lot, every space full. She couldn’t see him. Couldn’t see his Explorer anywhere under the lights, either. Turning for the path that veered off down the hill to the lower parking lot, she picked her way around patches of melting snow, prayed she didn’t slip on the ice in her heels, and hoped like hell she caught up with him before he drove off.
She rounded the corner. A utility building sat ahead and to her left. Trees lined the dark areas of the golf course to her right. Two hundred yards below, the flicker of parking lot lights shone down the hill in the distance, and Jake’s silhouette strode away from her on the path.
Urgency coiled insider her, pushed her feet forward, colored every thought and feeling and emotion she had. “Jake.”
He turned at the sound of her voice, and she saw then what she’d missed in the ballroom when he’d kissed her cheek. He was livid. His eyes on fire. His body humming with a fury he only just held back.
“Go back inside to your fiancé,” he ground out.
“That’s all you have to say to me?” She closed the distance between them. “Nothing else?”
His eyes narrowed to hard, sharp, dangerous points as she drew close. “What do you want me to say? Your father said it all inside.”
He turned away again, but she caught him by the arm and yanked him back to face her, her own temper ticking up that he would so easily believe what her father had announced in there. “Bullshit. There’s a hell of a lot more only you’re too afraid to say it. Tell me how you really feel. Get mad at me. Yell. Do something, dammit. Because I know it’s in there. I deserve to know what that is after everything you’ve put me through the last few days.”
“Everything I’ve put you through?” His eyes flew wide. “You’re the one getting married.”
Shock rippled through her. He really did believe it. “I told you in the jungle that I wasn’t in love with him. You know how manipulative my father can be. I can’t believe you’d accept this as truth without talking to me about it. I can’t believe you’d just walk away like it—I—mean nothing.”
“Are you saying you’re not engaged to that asshole?” He held up his arm and pointed back toward the clubhouse. “Is that what you’re telling me? Because everyone in that damn ballroom thinks you are, including me. God Almighty, your father invited everyone to your fucking wedding.”
Just the fact she had to explain herself to him told her loud and clear that he didn’t get it. That he didn’t get her. And he never would. And the longer she stood here beating her head against a wall with him, the worse off she’d be in the long run. “It’s a misunderstanding, Jake. My father wants it. Gray wants it—”
“And what the hell do you want?”
Her jaw clenched down hard because he should already know, dammit. And the sting of his words told her didn’t have a freakin’ clue.
She held her hands out to the side. “I don’t know what I want anymore. I thought I wanted you, but now I know that was just a giant waste of time.” She dropped her arms. “I’ll tell you what I definitely don’t want, though. I don’t want a man who’s so blind he can’t see what’s right in front of him.”
She turned back up the path, heartache and stupidity vibrating in her limbs as she moved. But his hand closed around her bare arm and jerked her back to face him before she could get two steps away.
She gasped in surprise. His other hand closed over her opposite arm, and he shoved her off the path and up against the wall of the utility building. “You think that’s what I am?” he growled. “Blind? You don’t have a clue. I see everything. I see you. I see—”
He squeezed her arms, but she barely felt it. All she could focus on was his hard body pressed against hers and the fire simmering in his dark eyes as he stared down at her. A fire she knew burned hotter than the one that had consumed them before.
His gaze darted to his hands where he held her and widened, as if he hadn’t realized he’d grabbed her. Releasing her quickly, he stepped back. But she wasn’t ready to let him go. She tangled her fingers in the fabric of his shirt, pulled hard, and drew him close to her once more.
“You see what?” She rose up on her toes and jerked harder. “Tell me. Stop pretending like you don’t care. I know you do. I know—”
“Dammit, Marley.”
He moved so fast she barely saw him. Gripping her face in his hands, he shoved her up against the side of the building, and closed his mouth over hers. And the instant he did, that fire raging between them completely imploded.
Heat was all he felt. Heat and a driving need to prove to her—and himself—that he wasn’t afraid.
Jake’s hand closed around Marley’s breast in the tight, strapless green gown and squeezed hard as he bit down on her bottom lip. He licked the spot and pushed his tongue back into her mouth. She groaned, shoved at his jacket, tangled her tongue with his in a ferocious battle for control. The jacket got stuck at his shoulders. He didn’t bother to take it off.
His hands streaked down to the hem of her dress just above her knee. He yanked it up to her hips as he devoured her mouth. She groaned and kissed him harder. Reaching between her legs, he wrapped his fingers around her panties and yanked hard.
Lace tore. She pulled her mouth back from his and gasped. Leaning forward, he breathed hot over the soft column of her neck, pushed her legs apart with his knees, stepped in close, then slid his fingers down her hot, steamy center, already wet and ready for his touch.
“Oh,” she groaned.
Her hands streaked up into his hair, grabbed on, and pulled tight. He bit down on her slick flesh, and she cried out. The sound excited him, aroused him, made him frantic for more. Sweeping his tongue over the spot again and again, he pushed two fingers up inside her, found her clit with his thumb and circled.
She dropped her head back against the wall, moaned low in her throat. He twisted his fingers inside her, swirled his thumb faster. Needed to hear her cry of release. Needed everything.
“Jake . . .” She wiggled against the wall, tried to inch herself higher in his arms. He thrust his fingers in and out
, harder, deeper, frantic to make her feel all the things he couldn’t say.
Grabbing his head, she tugged his mouth back to hers. Her tongue pushed between his lips, her taste seared his soul. The need to get inside her, to consume her, overwhelmed every inch of him.
He pulled his fingers from her tight sheath, unsnapped the button on his slacks, and pushed down the zipper. Licking into her mouth again and again, he freed his erection, dropped his hands to her ass, and lifted. Then he pressed her back into the wall and plunged inside her in one hard thrust.
“Oh fuck.” She pulled her mouth from his and groaned. “Jake . . .”
He couldn’t see anything but her. Couldn’t feel anything but the tight, slick pressure all around his cock, making every inch of his skin absolutely burn. He drew out, thrust back in deep. Did it again. And again. And again. She moaned, tightened around him, dropped her head against his shoulder, and hung on while he drove into her.
More. Deeper. Harder . . .
The words echoed in his head. The friction grew hotter. And her moans . . . her moans of absolute pleasure grew higher and faster and longer and sweeter.
He needed to own her, to make sure there was no room left inside her for anyone else. Slapping one hand against the wall, he tightened the other around her ass and thrust again and again, desperate to prove to her and to him that she was his.
Her fingers gripped his hair. Her body tightened all around him. And before she lifted her head and cried out, he knew she was coming. Knew the orgasm he was desperate to feel was already washing over her, dragging her down and devouring every part of her.
He drove harder, couldn’t stop thrusting. Needed to go over with her, needed that release to settle the raging anger that had been tormenting him the last few days. Sweat broke out all along his skin. His fingernails dug into the soft flesh of her ass and scraped along the cement wall of the building. He plunged into her again and again. Felt it coming, knew it was right there. Knew if he could just reach it—
Marley screamed, her cry echoed in his ears. Then her sex clenched down hard on his cock, dragging his orgasm straight out of his balls. He shoved in hard one more time and groaned as it ricocheted through him, blinding him with the intensity, until all that was left was darkness.
The sound of her heavy breaths slowly cleared in his ears. Against his skull, he felt her fingers softly drifting through his hair. Blinking, he tried to drag air into his tight lungs, then realized his head was resting on her shoulder and that somehow her feet were on the ground and one of her arms was wrapped around his back, holding him up against her.
A gust of cool air swept across the damp skin of his nape, sending a shiver down his spine, making him realize something else. They were outside in the cold. His gaze skipped past the soft skin of her throat to the remnants of snow littering the ground from last week’s storm, then to the cement wall of one of the golf course’s outbuildings where he held her pressed against the cold stone.
A dark feeling gathered in the pit of his stomach. A bitter reminder from the ghost of his father, telling him he was a disappointment, that eventually he let everyone down, that he’d never amount to anything more than his white trash mother. Closing his eyes, he tried to push the voice away, already hating himself enough, hating that he’d lost control, hating most of all that he’d done it with Marley. The only person who’d ever truly supported him.
He pushed away from her, pulled her skirt down, then cringed when he saw the seam was ripped along the side near the hem.
He tucked himself back into his pants and fixed his shirt. Against the wall, Marley shifted her weight. “Jake.”
He held up a hand so she couldn’t touch him. Wasn’t sure he could handle that right now. Not after what he’d just done. “Go back to the party.”
He took a step away, but she grasped his arm, stopping him from leaving. “That’s it? You’re just walking away?”
He looked up at a dark branch over his head. No, that wasn’t it for him. It was never going to be it for him. But it had to be for her. All he was doing was making her miserable, and it had to end.
“I-I shouldn’t have come to the party.”
“Yes, you should have. I want you here, in case you can’t tell. And you can’t leave yet. You still haven’t told me what you wanted to talk about.”
His gaze slid to hers. And he saw then what he’d missed moments before. She wasn’t upset. She wasn’t even angry anymore. The emotions swirling in her eyes were warm and sweet and encapsulating. They were also everything he’d ever wanted and more.
She loved him.
His chest grew so warm, he thought it might explode. And every muscle in his body urged him to reach for her, to draw her close. Then he noticed her wild hair and swollen lips. And as his gaze drifted to her torn dress, he realized it didn’t matter.
He drew back when all he really wanted to do was grab her and hold on. “This thing between us isn’t healthy. You know that.”
“I’m fine, Jake.” Her hand dropped from his arm, but she stepped close, panic now filling her soft blue eyes. “I’m not hurt. I’m not even mad. I enjoyed that. God, I enjoyed it.” She moved another step closer, reaching out for him. “There’s something I need to tell you too. Something I was too afraid to say before.” She swallowed hard and pressed a hand against her belly. “Oh God, I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but I—”
“I need to go.”
He stepped back quickly. Couldn’t let her say the words. Knew he’d lose it if she did. All his life he’d tried not to be like his old man, but he’d just proved he was a carbon copy of the fucker. Cold. Selfish. Unable to love. Because if he really loved her like he’d thought he might, he never would have done this to her.
“You were right to resign,” he said in a gruff voice. “Right to walk away. I-I’ll have someone box up your things from the office and send them over.”
Her hand dropped to her side, and her features darkened as he turned. “Don’t do this,” she whispered.
He didn’t want to. God, he didn’t want to. But he had to. Before it was too late. “It’s past time one of us did.”
Marley flipped off her flat-screen TV and tossed the remote on the coffee table, unable to stomach one more movie or TV show about happy people.
Two days had passed since the party, and she still felt as awful as she had the moment Jake had walked away from her down that cold, dark path. She hadn’t tried to call him, knew there was just no point in trying anymore. A heavy emptiness pressed against her chest, making it hard to draw enough air to fill her lungs. Sitting back against the couch, she crossed her hands over her belly and stared up at the ceiling, refusing to cry, refusing to get mad again, refusing to do anything but just be.
A knock sounded at her front door, dragging her out of her self-inflicted melancholy, and she glanced out the wide windows of her living room toward her father’s Mercedes parked in her drive.
Her eyes slid closed. Just what she needed. She’d been avoiding her father and Gray and everyone since the party, but she knew she couldn’t go on doing it much longer.
Forcing herself to get up, she crossed to the front door and opened it. A gust of cool air whooshed into her entryway as she looked up. “Hi, Daddy.”
Her father’s disapproving gaze rushed over her and then returned to her eyes. “Pumpkin, you’re still in your pajamas. It’s three in the afternoon.”
Marley glanced down at the flannel red-checked pajama bottoms and white T-shirt she was wearing, then stepped back and let him in. “I wasn’t planning on going anywhere. Or having visitors.”
He tugged his coat and scarf off and tossed them on the bench in her entry. “Amelia and I missed you at breakfast this morning.”
She took a calming breath and moved past him into her living room, where she sat on her couch again and tucked one bare foot under her, then
pulled a throw pillow across her lap. He kept inviting her over for meals so she could get to know Amelia better, and she kept refusing. She liked the girl, she just didn’t want to like her too much, especially if Amelia was sleeping with her father. Plus, going out to the farm meant she was bound to run into Gray, and she just couldn’t stomach that yet.
She didn’t know what she was going to tell him. She’d pretended to be feeling sick when she’d returned to the clubhouse after her scene with Jake, but she knew Gray had noticed her ripped skirt and wild hair. He hadn’t argued when she’d said she was going home alone, but she knew he was anxious to talk to her. His repeated voicemails and texts were proof of that.
Her father dropped onto the couch next to her and exhaled a long breath as he rested his hand on his denim-clad thigh. “I’m worried about you, pumpkin. Depression isn’t attractive on you.”
She frowned at him. “I’m not depressed.”
“You’re something.” He fingered the edge of her white sleeve. “Have you talked to Gray today?”
Her stomach rolled all over again. “No.”
“He came up to the house looking for you. I think he’s worried.”
He should be worried. That little announcement at the party had thrown her completely off-kilter.
Her father sighed and focused on the fire flickering in the hearth. “Relationships are hard. Your mother and I . . .” A faraway look filled his eyes. “We were like water and oil. Circling around each other. Clashing and then darting away. And when you added the hint of a flame . . . Well, let’s just say we were more than explosive. We consumed everything in our path.”
Marley watched her father’s weathered face, surprised by his words. He never talked about her mother. When she’d been a kid and had asked about her mom, he’d always changed the subject. She’d only been two when her mother had left. Not even old enough to remember her. Most of what she knew about Faith Addison she’d learned from her brother Ronan.
“We burned hot for a while, then chilled. But it was like that with us. Passion and anger. Fire and ice.” He turned to look at her. “It wasn’t healthy, Marley. It wasn’t any way to live.”