“You’d better go,” Leah said, starting to pull away from him.
Wesley wouldn’t relinquish her hands. “Not yet,” he said, his jaw set. “I’ll go when I’m ready.”
She gave him a cold look. “You’ll leave when Miss Shaw pulls your chain,” she said hotly. “Now if you’ll excuse me I’d rather dance with someone else.”
She was shaking as she walked away, and when she saw Justin she clung to his arm. “I need to get away from this crowd,” she murmured, and Justin led her into the dark forest.
Once out of sight of the people, Leah nearly flung herself into Justin’s arms and planted her lips on his. She needed to feel she was a woman. She was sick of rejection, sick of feeling as if she’d been discarded. She’d thrown her body and her love at Wesley and he’d used what he wanted and told her he wanted no more. Kimberly sat on her throne and Wesley knelt before her, offering gifts.
“Marry me,” Justin whispered, kissing her face and neck. “Marry me tonight.”
She drew away from him. “You don’t have to marry me,” she said. “Just because I tend to…throw myself at men doesn’t mean one of them has to marry me. Or marry me forever,” she added.
“Leah,” Justin said, grabbing her shoulders. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. I love you. I’ve loved you from the beginning and I want to marry you. I want you to be my wife and live with me.”
“For how long?” she snapped. “Don’t you have a girl back home?” She pulled away from him. “I can’t marry anyone.” Turning, she ran back to their own wagons, only to nearly run into Wesley and Kim.
“I can’t go back there,” Kim was saying, tears in her voice. “I’m so tired and all those men kept touching me. I don’t like it.”
“You don’t seem to like for any man to touch you,” Wesley said. “Even me.”
“That’s not true. I don’t mind when you touch me except when you hurt me. Please, Wesley, let’s not argue. I really must sleep.”
Leah didn’t want to overhear any more of the conversation. She stepped forward. “I’ll take care of Kim,” she said softly, putting her arms around the blonde woman who was beginning to cry.
For some reason Leah’s action angered Wesley. “You can take care of her, can’t you?” he said under his breath, teeth clenched. “You can take care of anything and anyone. Is that it? Leah the mighty can rescue a man with one hand, raise half a dozen children with the other. Nothing is too much for Leah, is it? She can look beautiful even in dirty dresses.” He paused. “Go take care of someone else. I’ll see to Kim.”
With that he half jerked Kim away from Leah and led her toward the wagons.
Leah stared after them in stunned silence, sure that Wesley’s outburst was one of the oddest things she’d ever heard. Did he expect all women to be like Kim? No work would ever get done if they all sat around and tended their hair. Surely Wesley must realize that. No doubt he was angry again because he somehow thought she wasn’t being good to his darling Kimberly.
Angrily, Leah turned away. Why was she spending more time thinking about what Wes wanted when she’d just received a proposal of marriage? And why would Justin want to marry her?
Her head was aching when she went to bed and before long she was crying—and she didn’t know why she was crying.
For the next three days it rained. The skies opened up and let loose a deluge that threatened to never end.
Justin drove the wagon, Leah beside him, through deep, sucking mud puddles. Rain poured over them and no hats or rain clothes could keep them dry.
Wesley had made a place for Kim inside the wagon and brought all her food to her. Twice Leah caught Justin smirking at Wesley, and Leah thought perhaps Wes was going to remove a few of Justin’s teeth.
On the fourth day the sun shone weakly and flashed off the muddy land. In the evening it wasn’t easy to get ready for the night’s camp while walking around mud puddles as big as fish ponds.
Leah made her way between two deep mud holes to reach the wagon. They’d had to set up camp some distance away and now she was carrying heavy bundles and trying to balance on the little ridge between the mud holes.
Wesley stood by the wagon, watching her from under the brim of his hat. His buckskins were still wet in places.
Leah pulled a large bundle of food from the wagon and started toward the camp.
“Here,” Wes said, holding out a bag she knew contained a skillet. “You’ll need this.”
Leah glanced down at her bundle, then returned to take the skillet.
“And this,” Wesley said as he looped a horse’s bridle over her shoulder.
“Maybe I should come back for some of these things,” Leah said, looking at her shoulder and then at the narrow bridge of land she must walk across.
“You mean you can’t carry everything at once?” Wes asked, one eyebrow arched.
“I guess so,” she began, as Wes draped another bridle on her other shoulder.
“And this, of course,” he said, putting a bag’s drawstring over her neck so the heavy sack hung down her back.
“Is that all?” she asked in exasperation, her legs beginning to bow under the weight.
“That should do it. Oh, here’s one last thing. Justin’s hat.” He settled the too-big hat on her head, nearly covering her eyes.
“I can’t see very well,” she mumbled, head back.
“That shouldn’t bother you, should it? Nothing bothers Leah. Leah can do anything. Now, you’d better get going because people need those things.” He turned her about, pointed her toward the narrow strip of land, and gave her a little push.
Leah was too busy concentrating on where she had to walk to think about what Wesley was trying to do to her. At the first step she took, the hat fell forward and more of her vision was blocked. To compensate she tilted her head back further and the sack dragging on her neck hurt.
She did quite well for about ten steps, then halfway across, her left foot sank into a soggy bit of ground, and when she tugged at her foot she began to lose balance. One of the bridles slipped down her arm, further upsetting her. She tried to shrug it upward, but just then her foot came loose.
For a moment she teetered on the brink, then suddenly she fell backward into the soft, oozing mud.
Blinking, she sat there, still clutching all her bundles. A fat drop of mud slid down her forehead, her nose, and as it came near her lip, Leah blew at it.
It was then that Wesley’s laughter made her look up. He was standing on the dry piece of land and bending over her, his face a study in amusement. “It looks like somebody found something the ever-competent Leah can’t do. You thought you could carry half the wagon and maneuver through the mud. It looks like you can’t,” he said with great glee.
Leah raised one arm, mud all the way up to her armpit, and tried to push her dripping hair out of her eyes. Justin’s hat was half floating, half sinking down beside her. She had no idea what Wesley was talking about. Slowly she began to remove her bundles and put them on dry land.
“You couldn’t even ask for help when you were falling,” Wes said as he took the food bag from her. “If I hadn’t been here you wouldn’t have anyone to help you out of this mess.”
“I wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t given me so much to carry,” she said, removing the bag from around her neck.
“Did it ever occur to you, Leah, to say no?” He wasn’t laughing now. “Why do you have to do everything yourself? Why don’t you ever ask anyone for help?”
Leah looked at him and suddenly realized that she was sitting practically up to her nose in mud because he was trying to teach her some kind of lesson. Of course she needed help at times! But lately all she’d done was try to do her work and Kim’s. She was trying to care for and protect the woman he loved.
Wes didn’t see the look in her eyes change. Nor did he see her hands sink into the mud at her side. As he reached for the last bundle, Leah’s arm flung out and threw a great gob of mud smack into Wesl
ey’s smiling face.
As he sputtered, spitting out mud, she started bombarding him with great handfuls of the nasty stuff. Moments later she stopped and he looked down at himself, covered with big splotches of mud. Leah, still sitting, looked up at him. “You think your Kim will greet you with open arms?” she said with a smile.
“Why you little—,” he began, then took a flying leap at her.
Leah rolled away just as Wes hit, and he landed face-down in the mess. When he looked up, only his eyes white, Leah started laughing.
“Wesley.” She gasped as she started to stand. “Here, let me help you up.”
With a little grin, Wes lifted his muddy arm to Leah’s extended hand, but when she took it, he pulled.
“No!” She gasped again before sliding back down, this time getting mud on the few clean parts of her body.
“You insufferable—,” she began. “How could you do this? Look at me!”
“I am,” he said with a chuckle. “I am.” His eyes were on her dress front, which was plastered to her.
It was difficult, if not impossible, to retain one’s pride while completely covered in mud. Leah was angry that Wes had caused her to fall, and now he was giving her lustful looks. She was sick of his leering at her. She was more than just a body.
With fists clenched, Leah pulled herself up and launched herself at Wes.
With laughter Wes opened his arms to her, and as she tried to hit him, he enclosed her in his embrace and began rolling with her.
“Stop it!” she screamed, beginning to try to kick free of him. “Wesley!”
“You can’t do everything, can you, Leah?” He laughed, tossing one of his muscular legs over both of hers. “Can you?”
She struggled against him, under him. “Of course I can’t. I never said I could.”
He was grinning down at her, his eyes and teeth white. “You sure are dirty.”
“No thanks to you,” she snapped, then her face changed. She couldn’t help laughing; they must be an awful sight. “You’re not exactly clean yourself.” She stopped struggling as she looked up at him.
“Tell me something you can’t do by yourself.”
“What? Oh Wesley, can’t you ask your idiot questions later? Let me up so I can take a bath.”
His mud mask didn’t move and when she pushed at him and he still remained immobile, she sighed.
“There are a lot of things I can’t do.”
“Such as?”
Leah had to think for a moment. “You’ve just seen me doing household chores. I’ve always done farm work so I’m good at it.”
“I’m waiting,” Wes said stubbornly.
“Hunting!” she said, pleased with herself. “I went hunting with my brother once and I got so scared he brought me home. We heard a bear at night and it frightened me. Now there! That’s something I can’t do.”
“Anything else?”
“You are impossible. There’s mud in my ears even! Please let me up. Oh, all right. I can’t read, I can’t write, guns frighten me, being away from people scares me. I hate men who care only that I’m a Simmons.” She said the last with a great deal of venom.
“Guns, huh?” Wes said, seeming to ignore her last statement. Tightening his grip on her, he began to roll again.
“Wesley!” she exclaimed.
“Guns and hunting!” He laughed, turning over and over in the mud.
Leah could only cling to him and try to keep from drowning.
“Well lookee here!” came Sadie’s voice over them. “If it ain’t a couple of pigs wallowin’ in the mud!”
Leah was sure her face was red under its coating of mud, but Wesley was grinning.
“I heard you ladies think mud is a beauty cream. I just thought I’d try it and Leah consented to show me how it’s done. That’s right, isn’t it, Leah?”
“Release me, you oaf!” she hissed at him.
“Wesley!” came Kim’s voice. “Whatever are you and Leah doing in the mud together? Did you fall?”
“I think I have,” Wes said softly, to Leah alone, looking at her in wonder. He rolled off her to look up at Kim. “Leah fell and I jumped in after her.” There was a tone to his voice that was almost a challenge.
“Oh,” Kim said, blinking. “I don’t guess a person can swim in mud.”
Leah did not laugh. That was to her credit.
Wes slowly began to stand. “I guess we better get cleaned up.” He held out his hand to Leah.
She wasn’t sure whether to trust him again, but this time there was no laughter in his eyes, and she accepted his offered hand. He swept her into his arms and Leah didn’t protest.
“Wesley—,” Kim began.
“I have to take Leah to the river,” he said blandly, walking past her.
There was something in Wesley’s look that made Leah keep quiet. Behind them Sadie said, “Come with me, Kimberly, and I’ll make you something nice to drink.”
At the river Wesley left her alone, and when he walked back to camp he was frowning.
Kimberly brought Leah a towel and clean clothes.
“Leah,” she said, puzzled, “I don’t think a lady should get into a mud puddle with a man. I really don’t think it’s the proper thing to do.”
“Kim,” Leah said, “I certainly didn’t do it on purpose. I fell.”
“And Wesley was saving you?” Kim seemed to want reassurance.
Leah merely nodded.
“Wesley isn’t as nice to me as he used to be,” Kim continued. “Last night he was very rude to me and today he hardly spoke to me at all.”
Leah paused in dressing. “What did you say just before he was rude to you?”
“I was talking about when we get married and I said I was looking forward to it and that I was glad I could wear white. I mean, with his first marriage, you couldn’t—.” She stopped at Leah’s look. “I didn’t mean anything about you, Leah. You can wear white when you marry Justin. No one in Kentucky will know the truth and I’m sure neither Wesley nor I will tell anyone.”
Leah kept her back straight as she started back to the wagons. She completely forgot to ask what rude thing Wesley had replied to Kim’s declarations of her virginity.
Chapter 12
Within the next few weeks they began to approach the new land of Kentucky. Instead of feeling excitement, Leah began to worry about how these new people would react to a divorced woman. When she was in Virginia, she’d wanted to leave behind a decent memory of at least one of the Simmonses. She didn’t want people saying that a gentleman had married her but he’d had sense enough to get rid of her. The new land had seemed far away then.
But now she wished she’d gotten the divorce in Virginia. If she had, she could enter Kentucky as a free woman. Now she’d have to start her life here with an ugliness that would stain her as badly as her family had in Virginia.
As she rode beside Justin, she was silent. He still wanted to marry her even though he knew about her family. But would any man want her after they knew she’d been married and miscarried a child? Kim knew how important her virginity was and she hung onto it at all costs.
Regan and Nicole had said Leah was a lady, but Leah couldn’t believe them. Kim was a lady. Everyone was polite to her. The man who loved her waited on her hand and foot. He treated her with respect, and even after this long trip she still retained her virginity. But with Leah, men were always lusting after her. Kim was right: no lady would roll in the mud with a man. Or throw herself at him and end up pregnant.
“What are you thinking, Leah?” Justin asked from beside her.
“Not thoughts one can share,” she answered.
“I’d hoped you were thinking about your answer to my proposal.”
“I was, in a way. There are some things you need to know about me.”
“I’m not easily shocked. Leah, something is troubling you. Even if you don’t return the love I have for you, I’m still your friend. You can tell me anything.”
She was sil
ent for a moment, wishing she could believe him. But if she told him now he’d never want to see or speak to her again. And she wanted these last few days of pretending that a handsome man wanted to marry her before he learned the truth and came to hate her.
“It isn’t Wesley, is it?” he asked with some hostility in his voice.
She laughed at that. “Wesley Stanford is the last man on earth who might be interested in me. He’s in love with Lady Kimberly and doesn’t know anyone else exists.”
“I wish I were as sure of that as you are.”
Leah didn’t answer him. She felt only her dread of meeting new people and being branded as a brazen woman. She’d seen the way men in Virginia, who knew of her family, treated her. She wondered if she could bear it in Kentucky. Perhaps she should get the divorce from Wesley in his town of Sweetbriar, then leave there as soon as she was free. She just prayed that her reputation wouldn’t follow her.
That night in camp everyone seemed to be subdued. Wesley kept his eyes on his plate of food, and Kim’s eyes were red and swollen. Justin watched Leah while she mechanically went about her chores.
“I’d think you’d all be glad to be near home,” Sadie said with a sigh, “but I’ve been to more cheerful funerals.”
The next day Wesley paid a young man to ride ahead to his farm in Sweetbriar and tell the people that they would be arriving soon. Leah wanted to cry in frustration. Soon he’d have to tell people of their marriage and start divorce proceedings. Leah wondered if Kim would invite her to the wedding so Leah could see Kim’s pure, white, flawless gown.
The wagons rolled closer to the border of Kentucky each day and everyone’s mood seemed to grow more glum. Once, Justin angrily accused Leah of not accepting his proposal because she wanted all the men in the state pursuing her. Leah put her face in her hands and began to cry. Justin didn’t make any more accusations after that.
Twice, Leah heard Wesley tell Kim he was too busy to get her whatever she wanted. Kim retreated to the wagon to sleep. By the time they reached Kentucky she was sleeping twelve hours a night and taking a three-hour nap every afternoon.