He ate quietly, watching her.
“What?”
“Will you come back with me? To Portland?”
She said, “Yes. I mean, I do need to be around to help Kathy when she needs it. But right now her family is there. I can’t go back to work. Dexter said, when I told him, see what comes of mixing with them, and I knew right then I had to quit. I’ll give my notice but time it so I don’t have to go back at all. Save them the trouble of disciplining me, I guess. It’ll look better on a job application elsewhere if I didn’t get fired.”
She felt the hot rush of his anger at that. “Gonna take some getting used to. This connection thing.”
“Strong emotions are easiest to feel through the bond. I can’t believe he’d be so heartless. It makes me want to punch him in the face.”
“Get in line. I don’t get it, but I can’t waste any more time on trying to get him to see the error of his ways. I know there are some pretty good guys left. I’ll speak to them to be sure they keep an eye on Kathy.”
“Good idea. Do you think she’d go away for a while? For safety’s sake?”
She shook her head. “No way. She has a life here. She won’t go. But her sister will stay on a month or two so that will help.” She sighed. “I just can’t be here right now. She’s everywhere and I can’t. There’s like part of me missing. I keep reaching for it to use it, to pick up the phone and call her to tell her about you, about this, and I can’t because she’s gone.”
He got up and moved to her, pulling her into a hug. Her upset smoothed a little.
“You’re like Prozac.”
He chuckled. “The bond has a lot of plusses. You have that effect on me too. Still, I wish I could make this better. I wish it ended differently for her. You did all you could. I wish you could see that.”
“I wish I could too. Maybe after some time goes by.” She suspected she’d feel like a failure over this for the rest of her days. “She’s gone and I’m not. If I saw something earlier. If I had tried this or that. I don’t know. But she died alone and terrified, and I wasn’t there to save her.”
His arms tightened around her. “I know. And it kills me for both of your sakes. I know you did all you could and more. I also know you and understand you’re going to run it over and over and over until you’re convinced you did all you could and maybe that’ll never happen for you. I want to shoulder all your burdens but I also understand I can’t in every case. Now that we’re bound, it’s like that imperative is turned up to twelve on the dial. I want to sling you over my shoulder and run away with you. Take you somewhere no one can find us. But I also realize that’s not going to happen. So we’ll have to work it through. Together though. Because that’s what has to happen. You need to let me help.”
“I know. I’m trying. I guess the anchor thing needs to happen now. Or soon.”
He sucked in a breath. “Yes. It should be in the next day or two. There are some wolves coming in from Boston. Late this afternoon, actually. That’s why I was asking if you were coming back home with me. Well aside from me wanting you with me in our place. I want to handle the security myself from the airport. Jack Meyers, he’s the National Enforcer. He’s coming to Portland to meet with Tracy, Nick and Gabe before he heads up to Seattle for a meeting of the packs to talk about this whole mage thing. There’ll be a lot of higher-ranked wolves around. Not Jack, he’s mated, has a version of a tri-bond actually. But there will be others, unmated wolves.”
“Like an assortment of chocolates. Or a buffet. So what if, you know, we end up a threesome? I’m not sure I can handle two alpha males. One is exhausting enough.”
He snorted. “It’s going to be all right. Like I said, the whole threesome thing is totally rare. Jack is mated with a witch and a jaguar shifter. The witch and the jaguar were together first. They’d imprinted, which is sort of the jaguar version of mating. And then Jack met her and she was his mate. They’re all three together and mated. It’s intense, but it totally works for them.”
“I’m a witch. What if it’s some kooky witch thing?”
“We won’t get you anywhere near a jaguar.” He held back a grin but she felt his amusement anyway.
“Har.”
“It’s new to you. I know. I’m just teasing. It’s going to be fine. Gina is a witch and she’s mated to Damon. No threesome, just the two of them.”
“Are you anyone’s anchor? Gah! Maybe I don’t want to know. I guess I have to know because this is like part of your wolf thing. But I have to be friends with some chick you had sex with and you’re sort of mated to?” She realized, slightly panicked, that she was going to have to sex up a near stranger she’d be bonded to on some level. Did she shave her legs that day?
He kissed her nose. “I’m not, no. And now that I’m mated, it’s not ever going to happen, so that’s that. As for the tri-bond? I think you should look at this as a hot thing.” He slid his thumb over her bottom lip. “Hot sex with someone, sanctioned by your mate.”
“Are you going to be there? In the room, I mean?”
“I think yes. I’d go crazy if I wasn’t. Is that all right?”
“This is all so weird.”
He grinned. “Sit and finish your breakfast. I brought boxes so you can pack up your car and mine, and we can go home. My place is our place now.”
“Avoiding the subject?”
“No. But I think you need some time to digest all this, and then when we get to Portland you can meet more wolves and we can work it out and it won’t be as weird. Hopefully. I’m sorry you’re uncomfortable. Well, part of me is happy because it means you’re not jumping all over having sex with someone else. But I don’t want you to be unhappy.”
“I’m rolling with it the best I can.”
“I know.”
Chapter Eleven
He met Jack and the rest of his wolves at the airport. Michelle was heading to his apartment once she got back to town to unpack her things. She’d stopped by Allie’s mom’s place on her way out of town so he knew she’d need some time on her own to process.
He smiled. Her things in his place. Their place now. He’d pick her up when they’d gotten everyone settled in and they’d go to a pack dinner where she’d be introduced as his mate.
“Congratulations are in order, I hear.” Jack grinned his way.
“Thank you. It’s a good day to be me. This being-mated thing is pretty sweet. No wonder all you guys walk around smiling all the time.”
“It is indeed a good thing. Tell me about her.”
“Of all things, she’s my high school sweetheart. My first love. I left Roseburg and everyone in it behind when I was bitten. Anyway, she showed up at the offices downtown needing our help, and it turns out she’s my mate. And a witch, which I never knew. She’s a cop. Beautiful. Brilliant. A badass with some mad skills with a handgun. She’s perfect.”
“Oh the face of the newly mated.” Jack laughed. “It’s a great story though. One your kids are going to love. Also being a cop means she’ll understand your job, which is good.”
“And she can defend herself in the face of all this crazy stuff with the mages.” Akio Minami, Jack’s right hand in his Enforcer crew, spoke from the back seat.
“Yes, that too. This is some shit. This murder scene we found her friend at? I’ve seen a lot, but what they’d done to this witch? I want to lock her up in my place with fifty guards all armed to the teeth.”
Jack growled. His mate was a witch too, so he understood, all too well, the nature of this threat and how it hit so very close to home.
“Cade wanted me to relay how much he’d appreciate it if you’d take Akio out to the scene. We should have as much information shared as possible. We’ve had our own trouble with the mages out our way, as you know. I want him to compare the scents to see if there are any connection
s.”
Josh nodded as he headed to the old Pacific Pack House where Nick’s parents, the retired Alpha pair still lived. Visiting wolves often stayed there, and big meetings and gatherings were held there.
“We can go out tomorrow if that works. The joining is tonight.” The joining was the ceremony where a mate was presented to the pack, and if he or she wasn’t already a member, they’d be made members after swearing fealty to the Alphas.
Jack was an anchor to Tracy’s sister-in-law Grace, the female National Alpha, which made him like family in a very real sense. It was a good thing to have him at the ceremony later that night.
“Yes, that would be fine. Thank you,” Akio said.
“How’s she on the tri-bond?”
“Nervous. I had to talk her down earlier when she was convinced we’d have a threesome like you and Tracy have.”
“Truth be told, it’s a nice thing to have another male around to deal with our beautiful but totally headstrong woman. I expect Gabe and Nick feel the same.”
“Don’t go mentioning any of that around her, thanks.”
Jack laughed. “I’m pretty smooth when I want to be, dumbass.”
He dropped them off and headed back home to get his mate.
* * *
He got home and breathed in deep. Her scent, her magick hung in the air, mixing with his.
She wandered out and smiled at the sight of him, though her eyes were still puffy from all the crying, and that sense of sadness over the loss of her friend still emanated from her. “Everyone get in okay?”
He nodded, moving to her to kiss her. “Everything is much better now that I’m here with you. How is Kathy?”
“Really sedated. She did understand what I said when I told her about the delay in releasing Allie. She’s not happy. But Allie’s aunt did convince her to have a funeral home up here handle things. They have the number here and my cell. I didn’t go into a lot of detail about moving up here, but I mentioned I’d reconnected with you and that we were together.”
“What about your mom?”
She made a face but he felt a twinge of her sadness. “I left a voicemail. She’s not in town. But I can’t imagine she’s going to care much one way or the other.”
“Her loss. We’re family now.”
She nodded.
He followed her back to the bedroom where she’d already unpacked several boxes. “You’ve gotten a great start. Can I help?”
“No, I’ve got it. I took over the dresser in the other room. Yours is too full.”
“I told you to take three of the drawers in here.” He frowned.
“You have a lot of clothes, Josh. It’s okay. The dresser in the other room was pretty much empty. I did take a few of the drawers in your closet for my underwear. Do I have to dress up for this thing tonight? I mean like cocktail stuff or what?”
“A dress would be good, but not like black tie. We have people in from another pack so it’s good to look nice. But you’re gorgeous so that’s already handled.”
She held up two dresses, a bright green one and a red one.
“The green one, definitely.”
“It’s a bit more low cut than the red. Is that okay?”
He barked a laugh. “Am I okay with your boobs being visible?”
She blushed. “Not all of them! Just my cleavage.”
“I’m always okay with cleavage.”
She looked over at the clock. “When do we have to be there?”
He took one look and groaned. “We need to leave here in about half an hour.”
“Shit!” She grabbed the dress and headed into the bathroom where he could see she’d taken over half the space, and the sink on the left. “You stay back with your sex eyes, mister. I have to get ready and we don’t have time for what you’re after.”
“I can make it good and quick too.”
She snorted, rolling her eyes. “You are not a quick type. And I’d have to shower afterward or everyone would know exactly what we were up to before we arrived.”
She shucked her clothes, and he leaned back and watched, fingers itching to touch all that skin.
“They’re going to assume it anyway.”
“I already took a shower. I want to look good for this, Josh. All the females you took for a ride will be there, and I want people to think you made out okay instead of oh bummer, look what poor Josh bonded with.”
He moved to her, pulling her in for a long slow kiss. He licked his lips, taking one last taste of her before he stepped away a little.
“You could show up in a garbage bag and they’d still think I was a very lucky wolf. As for those other females? They know who you are and what you are. And that’s everything. You understand?”
She gave him a smile. “Yeah, yeah.”
He grabbed a quick shower and got dressed as she got ready, putting on makeup and doing her hair in tousled curls around her face.
At least the party thing was stressful enough to give her something else to worry over beside the awful weight of Allie’s loss. It was strange to have so much happiness in her life even as at the same time she drowned in crushing, horrible sadness.
She’d spent the hours driving back to Portland alternating between tears and happiness. But he helped. Being around him helped, soothed her. Though she also understood he realized she was in pain and that she had every right to feel like crap because of it.
But life went on and she had to do all this stuff. The tri-bond thing especially. Gina had talked to her a little about it when she’d called to ask her opinion on what to wear that night. Gina’s anchor lived in Portland, and they had dinner with him a least twice a month. He and Damon were good friends. Michelle didn’t want to say she thought it was weird. Though she did. But who was she to judge? It was someone else’s culture, and she’d have to find her own peace with it because in a big way, it was her culture now too.
So she sucked it up because there was nothing else to do but suck it up and try to move forward.
* * *
Tracy came out as they pulled up, the girls practically bouncing at the sight of Josh. When he got out of the car, they clapped and started calling his name. He grinned at them but moved to get Michelle’s door first.
“Wow, Michelle, you look great!” Tracy laughed as the girls leapt into Josh’s arms. They giggled and kissed his cheeks as Tracy made her way over. “Welcome. To Pacific and to the house and all that. I wanted to tell you how sorry I am about your friend. Anything we can do to help is yours. I know you’re starting over up here, so please know you’ve got a shoulder and an ear whenever you need it. You don’t know me well, but I’d like us to be friends. I moved here and didn’t know anyone either.”
Touched she nodded. “Thanks, I appreciate it. It’s all so much. I feel... I don’t know anything. Not just about your world but my own really. I don’t want to embarrass Josh or do something wrong.”
“Plenty of folks who are happy to share. Just ask and if we can get you the answer we will.”
“I’m nervous,” Michelle blurted out.
“I know there are a lot of people here, but they’re all here to celebrate you. To welcome you. This is something really special to us. The bond, I mean. Josh is so happy. Everyone is going to see that. He leads them, keeps them safe. To see him happy and with his mate is a good thing. My pack will see you as a positive. Even before they meet you they’ll think that.”
“Aw, thanks. But I also mean the anchor thing.”
Tracy took her hands and squeezed. “That’s going to be all right too. I mean.” Tracy shrugged and looked around the area, full of ridiculously gorgeous people. “They’re all beautiful. You’re beautiful. Josh is hot. Just...it’s part of the process. Let it happen. It’s your choice, you know.”
Trac
y walked with her up the steps and into the house. Josh had the hands of both girls as he followed.
“Let’s see.” Tracy scanned the room. “Ah, so over there, that’s Trace. He’s here from Cascadia. He’s ranked lower than Josh, but his power level is high. High enough to be the Alpha of his own pack anywhere else. He’s an Enforcer too, works for my sister, who runs the Enforcer team up there.”
Trace had long pale hair tied loosely back from his face. Piercing brown eyes.
“Over there is Erik, he’s visiting here from Boston with Jack, that hot blond-surfer-looking dude.”
“Jack is the National Enforcer, right? He’s also in a threesome and he’s anchored to your sister-in-law?”
“You’re a fast learner. Yes, that’s Jack. Oh and then there’s Akio. Akio is Jack’s right hand.”
Holy cow. Now that was a beautiful man in a room full of really exceptional-looking people.
Tracy continued. “The anchor is special. They make a commitment to you to take on the weight of the death of a mate. It’s...hard to explain, but it’s more than just fucking. Your anchor is part of your family. None of them agrees to do it lightly. We’re all a bit superstitious, wolves I mean. We believe in fate and all that jazz. So just because an available wolf is around, he may not agree to serve as an anchor. There has to be chemistry. He has to really connect with the couple, the female sure, but also the male because they’re sort of partners in keeping the female safe.”
“Yeah, no pressure. Just a lifetime commitment to make a decision in a few minutes.”
Tracy laughed. “It’s not always like that. I only knew Gabe for a day though. Sometimes you just know when it’s right.”
Which, Michelle had to admit was true.
Akio took that moment to turn around and see them both staring at him. Well now. He was long and lithe, his dark hair loose, framing a face that would have dried the spit in any thinking woman’s mouth in seconds flat.