Feeling his spine stiffen at her references to his cock, Ash had the urge to pull her out back and drop his pants. His dick was literally getting the short end of this one, and for a man, there wasn’t much worse than those kinds of assumptions. “I’ll have you know that there’s nothing small about it and I’ve never had a woman that didn’t scream . . . several times.”
Dana cupped her chin, blinking those big blue eyes at him. “Really? Are you sure it wasn’t in horror? Like seeing one of those little wiggle worms on your floor. At first glance, you kinda think it’s cute, but then you wonder what in the heck you’re supposed to do with it.”
Now exasperated, Ash’s voice was louder than he’d intended when he snapped, “I’m packing a solid eight, sweetheart. Why do you think they keep coming back for more?”
The woman on his other side snorted before muttering something that sounded like “pig” under her breath. Dana studied her nails with a smirk on her lips. “I’ve heard that you should deduct three inches from the size that a man claims he is. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I’d say that’s closer to the national average. It also makes sense about Brittany now. She’s probably not good at math so convincing her you were a ten was easy.”
Ash knew it was pointless to continue this insane debate. Plus, short of exposing himself, he couldn’t prove her wrong. Why did it matter anyway? Sure, no guy wanted a woman to believe that he was less than stellar in that area, but this was Dana. He couldn’t stand her. And he certainly had some payback coming to him for all the shit he’d said to her over the last year. With that in mind, for once he turned the other cheek. “Whatever helps you sleep at night, munchkin. Now if it’s okay, can we get back to our business arrangement?”
“Of course, Ashey.” She smiled sweetly. “What’s my first assignment?”
“I’ll be having dinner with my family on Friday night. Zoe and Dylan will also be there so that should make it more comfortable for you.”
Looking confused, Dana said, “Wait—why would you waste money having me pretend to be your girlfriend in front of relatives? Won’t they know it’s a lie? Ugh, please tell me you haven’t slept with one of them. That’s low even for you.”
Stung by her assumption, Ash frowned. “No, I haven’t had sex with a family member, but thanks for the vote of confidence. The problem is my stepsister is a bit of a tramp. Every time I’m around, she says and does stuff that’s not in the least sisterly. The whole evening will be hell because my mother is completely self-absorbed and my stepfather is a moneygrubbing asshole. Things would at least be more bearable if I could keep Claudia off me. That’s where you’ll come in. She’s kind of a nasty piece of work too so don’t expect her to be as easy to handle as our friend Brittany was.”
Not looking the slightest bit intimidated, Dana scoffed. “Honey, I’m from the South. We know how to take out the trash when we need to, and I don’t mind getting my hands dirty. As long as you aren’t worried about me offending her. If you are, then let me know now.”
Ash snorted and decided in that moment that Friday night was sounding pretty entertaining. “Hell no. I couldn’t care less how you get the job done. She deserves anything you toss at her. We probably need to go with you being the girlfriend though since I haven’t mentioned you before.”
Nodding, Dana said, “Works for me. How will I need to dress?”
Ash laughed before pointing down to his jeans. “Charlotte—aka ‘Mommie Dearest’—likes to pretend that she’s a society queen so she’ll want everyone more formally clothed. But Dylan and I don’t like being told what to do, so we always go in the opposite direction. Wear your uniform from the coffee shop for all I care. It’s up to you.”
Getting to her feet, Dana gave him a salute before saying, “Alrighty then. Let me know the details and I’ll do the rest. Oh, and I’d prefer cash if that isn’t a problem. Otherwise I’d have to worry about you writing me a bad check just to be an ass.” Without waiting for a reply, she turned and left, never once looking back at him. Which was a good thing, because his eyes were glued to the gentle sway of her hips and that plump ass that had his cock sitting up and taking notice.
What was it about her? How could she irritate the shit out of him one minute and turn him on the next without even trying? Strangely enough, he hadn’t thought about her resemblance to his ex-girlfriend Fiona in the last hour. Instead, he’d reveled in swapping insults with her. It’s called foreplay, buddy. No, surely that wasn’t it. He had no intention of sleeping with Dana Anders. She might have a nice ass, but that was it.
This was strictly a business relationship. He’d use her to keep Claudia under control and buy himself a little peace. She was an employee and he didn’t muddy those waters. Besides, knowing them, they’d be ready to kill each other again by tomorrow. And that was looking more and more like the best way to deal with her. People who hated each other didn’t have sex.
Three
Zoe’s eyes were as round as saucers when Dana finished telling her about the arrangement with Asher. “But you two hate each other. How in the world are you going to pretend to be in love? I can’t believe you even managed to talk long enough to come up with this whole thing. Are you sure it was Ash? Maybe it was a guy that looked like him.”
Dana snorted as she wiped down the counter in the shop. “I do actually know who the man is. Admittedly I was thrown a few times when he smiled. I had no idea he even had any teeth behind that snarl.”
Zoe gave her a look full of concern before saying, “You know I would be happy to lend you some money. You don’t have to do this.”
Thinking yet again how lucky she was to have a friend like Zoe, Dana reached out and squeezed the other woman’s hand. “I know, but I’d rather earn it. And weirdly enough, this sounds like fun. I’ve got a mouth on me so turning it loose on some bimbos and getting paid for it is my dream side job. I’ll even have the opportunity to torture Ash some, which we both know he deserves.” Throwing her hand up in the air, she did a fist bump with Zoe that had her friend giggling.
“I gotta admit, I’m intrigued. I’d love to be a fly on the wall when you two try this for the first time,” Zoe said wistfully.
Wiggling her eyebrows, Dana said, “That’s the best part. I’m going to be at dinner with his mother Friday night, and I understand that you and Dylan will be there as well. So, my dear, you’ve got a front-row seat to this one.”
“Oh my God.” Zoe rocked back on her feet. “I’ve been dreading that so much. Charlotte is so snooty and her husband acts like he’s this big businessman, but he takes money from the Jacksons constantly.” Shuddering, she added, “Then there’s Claudia. She plasters herself all over Dylan and Ash as if she’s not their stepsister. I swear, she’d sleep with them if they’d just say yes.”
Dana nodded. “That’s where I come in. Ash wants a night when he doesn’t have to worry about getting attacked by the creepy stepsister. I’ll pretend to be his girlfriend and take care of that hoochie. He’s given me free rein to do or say whatever necessary to get her off him.”
Zoe’s squeal of delight had the customers in the nearby vicinity looking in their direction. Dana grinned as Zoe promptly clapped a hand over her mouth. “Whoops, I lost control there for a moment. But oh my God, this is too good to be true. Do you know how often I’ve dreamed of committing some kind of violence where she’s concerned? It’s not bad enough that she has to paw my husband. She’s also a royal bitch to me. But she’s smart enough to do it when Dylan isn’t close enough to hear her. Then I feel as if I’m whining if I say something to him.”
Snorting, Dana said, “Well then, this is your chance to get back at her. I’ll do what I can to put her in her place. I swear, I can’t stand women like that. For starters, you never attempt to pick up anyone at family functions. That’s all kinds of low class. And stay away from men who are taken. There are enough single ones out there without fishing in som
eone else’s pond. It’s a basic rule of the sisterhood code.”
Zoe added in a distasteful tone, “Especially if you’re related to them. I mean, there may be no blood ties, but come on, I don’t see a difference and neither does Dylan. She put a hand on his butt at Christmas, then claimed it was an accident when it was obvious that he was angry over it. I was ready to pull her bleached blond hair out over that. But even though he knows what she is, Dylan still has a hard time accepting that she’s deliberately coming on to him. He’d rather bury his head in the sand and live in denial over it.”
Nodding sympathetically, Dana said, “Well, luckily for you, Ash understands her perfectly and is tired of dealing with it. So let’s put that tramp in her place.” Eyeing her friend thoughtfully, she asked, “So what are you planning on wearing?”
Echoing Ash’s sentiments, Zoe said, “Probably just jeans. Charlotte will have on something hideously expensive, but everyone else will be more casual.”
Dana winked at Zoe as a thought took shape. “Not this time, honey. I’m assuming that Claudia wears some skintight jeans as well?” When Zoe nodded, the decision was made. “Then you and I are going in the opposite direction. I’m thinking dresses. It’ll be the perfect way to make Claudia feel like an underdressed teenager. It’s easier to put a woman in her place when she feels inferior to you.”
“I don’t know . . .” Zoe said doubtfully. “I think you’re underestimating her. I can’t imagine anything would shake her self-confidence, especially me.”
“Oh, but you’re wrong,” Dana assured the other woman. “Plus, Ash has agreed to purchase any extra clothing that I need to play a part, so we’ll be making a trip to the hotel boutique tomorrow. For this occasion we need to look sophisticated, yet sexy.”
With a perplexed expression, Zoe asked, “And this is going to help us how?”
Dana said, “I can insult her all day, but if I seem as if I’m trying to compete with her, then she’s just going to blow me off. I might get in a few good digs, but I’m not going to shake her confidence. After all, I assume she’s younger and probably hot.” Zoe’s sour expression confirmed her assessment of their enemy. “So we do something that she isn’t expecting. We make her feel like a kid. I did that very same thing to Ash’s bimbo last night, and bless her heart, she was dumb as a box of rocks so I had to practically draw her a picture. But I don’t think I’ll need to do that with Claudia. I suspect she’s shrewder than that.”
“Bart’s always bragging about her GPA and the fact that she’s the president of her sorority,” Zoe agreed.
As she rested her elbows on the bar, a clear picture of the enemy began to emerge in Dana’s mind. Claudia sounded like everything she’d imagined and more. This girl would be a handful, but Dana was also more certain than ever that they needed to bring their A-game. Thank God this wasn’t a pool party. It would be hard to compete with a bikini. But a sexy dress with a push-up bra would work wonders. Now she just needed the right ammunition to get her friend in the game. Deliberately looking bored, she said idly, “Well, it’s not going to be easy, and if you’d rather continue on as you have been, then I’ll understand. You and I both know that Dylan will never take her up on what she’s offering no matter how many times she gropes him. And if you’re okay with her touching your man’s dick, then I’ll support you fully.”
“His dick?” Zoe snapped, causing heads to turn once again.
“Um, you might want to keep it down. That group of old dudes at the table in the back are beginning to look excited. On the plus side, I’m almost certain they’ll be back again tomorrow.”
Zoe shot a quick look over her shoulder, then let out a mortified groan when one of the men in question winked in their direction. “Shit, they must have heard what I said. I bet this kind of thing never happens at the Starbucks down the street.”
Wiggling her brows, Dana joked, “I don’t suppose you’d consider sitting on one of their laps? They’d bring all their buddies back, guaranteed.”
“Gross, no way. Now back to what you were saying. I’ll do whatever you think we need to. Keep in mind that I’m still a newbie at all this, but I refuse to let Dylan continue to get felt up by her.”
Tossing an arm around her friend, Dana gave her a reassuring side hug before saying, “You won’t regret this. We’ll put Miss Thing in her place and have some fun doing it.”
Before Zoe could respond, one of the men who had heard Zoe’s outburst walked up to the bar and dropped a twenty-dollar bill onto the counter. “Best coffee I’ve had in a while, ladies. The boys and I’ll be back real soon.” With a click of his tongue that had Dana biting back a grin, he and his cronies ambled out the door.
“Oh, shut up!” Zoe laughed. “And I’m keeping the whole tip. Apparently I earned it.” They joked for the remaining hour until it was time to leave. When they parted ways in front of the shop, Dana couldn’t help thinking what a difference twenty-four hours had made. Yesterday she’d been angry and dejected when she’d finished her shift, but thanks to the cease-fire with Ash, she was excited and impatient for Friday to come. And it had nothing at all to do with the weekend. She knew that it was insane to have feelings for someone who’d never been anything but nasty to her, but she couldn’t seem to help herself. For a short time last night he’d shown the side of himself that he treated everyone else to. The Asher she always heard about from other people. He’d been funny, charming, and dammit, beyond sexy. How could she resist that? She had to wonder sometimes if it was that she wanted Ash or simply longed to be a part of his amazing family. She had thought herself long past the need to be accepted by others, but maybe that was another reason she desired what seemed unattainable. Or was it simply chemistry? Because her body came to life whenever he was near her, and no matter how often she tried to ignore that hum of attraction, it continued to blaze for Asher Jackson as if it had a mind of its own.
Four
Are they for real?” Dana asked Zoe under her breath yet again. She was having a hard time believing that Ash and Dylan had come from the woman reclining on a pool lounger as if she were sitting on the throne beside Queen Elizabeth. Charlotte Jackson attempted to look regal but, instead, came off as stuck-up and constipated. And her husband was the complete opposite. He was loud, overbearing, and had a laugh that made the hairs on Dana’s neck stand up. If he called her “sugar” one more time, she wouldn’t be responsible for her actions. He needed a kick to the crotch in the worst way. Naturally his eyes had been glued to her cleavage the whole time they’d been there. He also ogled Zoe’s ass when he thought no one was paying any attention. The tightening of his wife’s overly Botoxed mouth told Dana that she hadn’t missed that fact though.
“I’d like to say it gets better,” Zoe murmured back. “But they’re pretty much on their best behavior right now. Plus, the princess hasn’t graced us with her presence yet. Maybe she’s got other plans,” she added hopefully.
Glancing down at her formfitting black sheath dress and spiky heels, which she’d charged to Ash at the hotel boutique, she whispered back, “I’m not returning this outfit if she doesn’t show. We’re freaking hot tonight.” Zoe was wearing a soft green print sundress that was amazing against her tanned skin. They looked like they were complete opposites that cleaned up well. The dress Dana was wearing shaved ten pounds off her frame and she felt sexy and confident in it. Clothes might not make the woman, but they certainly gave a much-needed boost at times. The way that Ash’s eyes had widened and his mouth had dropped earlier told her all that she needed to know. Unlike his disgusting stepfather, she enjoyed the way his gaze slid over her from time to time in obvious admiration. She had to give him credit as well—he hadn’t lobbed an insult her way all evening. Of course, at this point she would have known he was full of it. Men can lie with their lips, but their eyes are another story. Most hadn’t perfected that art form and Ash was no exception.
Before Zoe could
reply, a voice called out, “Sorry I’m late, everyone. Traffic was a total bitch. I’m here now though.”
“So it begins,” Zoe hissed out as Dana’s head slowly swiveled toward the new arrival.
“Holy silicone slut,” she muttered as she took in the enemy of any normal woman in the world. Young, hot, blond, and oozing confidence. She hated Claudia on sight. She was the poster child of the mean girls who’d picked on Dana in high school for being less than perfect. When she rushed over to her father’s chair and plopped down in his lap, she heard Zoe groan. “That’s completely disturbing,” she said, shaking her head. “Isn’t she a little old for that?”
“Um, yeah, by about twenty years,” Zoe agreed. “I know she does it just to keep the money wheels turning, but gross. Look at the way he’s hugging her. It makes me want to take a shower.”
Nodding in agreement, Dana said, “Honey, that’s some serious ‘spray me with Lysol’ stuff there.” Bart was making kissy faces at Claudia and literally bouncing her on his plump knee now. Charlotte looked like she had the desire to barf as she stared at the scene next to her. According to Zoe, Charlotte was the one with the money, so what in the world did she see in her husband? No wonder she still went by the Jackson surname. “Does this happen a lot?”
“Pretty much,” Zoe sighed. “The first time I came for dinner, Claudia actually slid down the banister and into her father’s arms. As if that wasn’t bad enough, he twirled her around for what seemed like an hour. And she was wearing a short, flared skirt . . . and a thong. Since Dylan and I were standing in the foyer, we got treated to the sight of her ass on full display.”
“Oh damn,” Dana groaned. “I think I need to ask for more money. This is nothing like the simple whore infestation I was expecting. I mean, I already knew from you how Ash and Dylan’s mother acted. But I’ve gotta say, girlfriend, you left out some of the other stuff.”