toEngland, although I should deucedly like to do so."
"Why should you wish to go where you are not wanted? Why not set towork; and become independent, by your own exertions?"
"Ah! my friend, you forget that we have not been brought up alike. Youhave had sensible parents, or guardians, who have done something toprepare you for that sort of thing, while I have been brought upfoolishly by those who have tried hard to make me believe myself wiserthan other people. What seems easy to you, is altogether impossible tome. You have been educated in a world that has taught you some wisdom,while I have been trained by a family that has only made a fool of me.I have been taught to believe that a man should owe everything to hisancestors; and you, that he should be indebted only to himself.Therefore, it's idle to talk about the matter--we can never agree."
I saw that there was no use in urging Cannon to attempt doing any thingin the colonies, as long as he could perceive no object to be gained byexerting himself.
Just then, I was myself slightly inclined to take a similar view ofthings. I had hoped and toiled to make myself as perfect, as waspossible for a human being, placed in my circumstances. What had Igained by it? Nothing. What could I expect to gain? Nothing.Influenced by these thoughts, I remained for some time in doubt, whetherI should return to the diggings or not. Life there, was, after all,only an excitement. It was not happiness.
Several times the temptation came strong upon me, to go back to Jessie;and see if I could find happiness with her. In striving to overcomethis temptation, I was, perhaps, acting not so unlike my companions--Vane and Cannon: I was refusing to accept of fortune's favours, whenthey could so easily have been won.
They were in a growing colony, where, with labour, they might easilyhave obtained a high position--yet they would not exert themselves. Iwas playing a very similar part; for I saw how I might become happy--atall events, how I might live without unhappiness--yet I rejected theopportunity fortune had thus set before me. I would only consent toaccept happiness on my own terms; and my obstinacy was not so verydifferent from that which was the besetting sin of my companions.
I never felt more like a Rolling Stone, than when in Melbourne upon thatoccasion; but the sensation was not peculiar to myself: for the citycontained thousands of people who had been everywhere; and were ready,at an hour's notice, to go there again!
Volume Two, Chapter XXIX.
FARRELL'S STORY CONTINUED.
I at length succeeded in making up my mind to leave Melbourne; and,having parted with Vane and Cannon, I proceeded alone to Geelong--on myway to the gold fields of Ballarat. It was my first visit to Geelong;and I made it a short one; but, short as it was, I came to theconclusion, that if the people of Geelong had, within the two previousyears, advanced in civilisation as rapidly as those of Melbourne, theymust have been in a dreadfully degraded state before: since I found thesocial, moral, and intellectual condition of the place, if possible,still lower than that which had disgusted me on my first visit toMelbourne--and this is saying a deal.
The principal business of the Geelongers appeared to be that ofdrinking; and at this they were, to a high degree, industrious. Almostevery one, with whom I came in contact, used obscene language, and were,or appeared to be, in every way more depraved, ignorant, and brutish,than any people to be found out of England itself.
From Geelong I went on to Ballarat--a distance of forty-eight miles--ina conveyance drawn by four horses; and paid for my accommodation thesmart sum of six sovereigns.
On my arrival, I once more pitched my tent on the richest gold fieldknown to the world.
Gold-diggers had been called "lucky vagabonds" by the thenAttorney-General of Victoria. Perhaps he was right; but, whatever namehad been given them, I was well pleased at finding myself once more intheir company; and ready to share their toils, chances, anddisappointments.
There is something in gold hunting that unsettles a man's mind, andmakes him unfit for the ordinary occupations of life; and yet thecalling itself is exactly suited to the state of mind it thus produces.
In this respect it is perhaps, unfortunately--too like the profession ofthe gamester.
No other occupation could have been so well adapted to my state of mind.I had no hopes to realise--no object to accomplish, but that offorgetting the past, and guarding my thoughts from straying into thefuture.
Such being the case, it was with much satisfaction that I again foundmyself a "lucky vagabond"--amidst the ever-varying scenes of excitement,to be witnessed on the gold fields of Ballarat.
The first acquaintance I encountered, after my arrival at the place, wasFarrell--the Californian gold-digger--whom I had last seen in SanFrancisco.
As a matter of course, we stepped into the nearest hotel, to have aglass together.
"I suppose," said Farrell, as soon as we were seated--"you have noobjection to listen to the conclusion of that little romance--the secondchapter of which I made you acquainted with in San Francisco?"
"Not the slightest," I answered. "Although I felt sorry for what hadhappened to you, I confess I was very much amused at what you told me.But the most interesting part of the romance--as you call it--had nottranspired. I shall be very glad to hear more of it."
"Well," proceeded Farrell, "you shall. As I told you they would, Fosterand my wife came out to California; and, as I expected, to SanFrancisco. However, they had come ashore so very secretly and quietly,that I did not succeed in finding them, until they had been about tendays in the city.
"Foster took a house in Sacramento Street, furnished it with the money Ihad sent home to maintain my faithless wife; and laid in a stock ofliquors. He intended to commence business in the grog-selling line; andwas about opening the establishment, when I found them out.
"As soon as I did so, I went straight to the house--prepared for somesport.
"Foster and my wife were out shopping, and, no doubt, spending whatremained of my money. The new tavern was in charge of a young man, whomthey had engaged as a barkeeper.
"I immediately took possession of the whole concern--the house, andeverything in it.
"I then discharged the barkeeper from their employment; and, the instantafter, engaged him in my own service.
"I remained in that house for nine weeks--managing the business whichFoster had intended to profit by; and then sold out for five thousanddollars.
"Neither Foster nor my wife, to my knowledge, ever came near the place--at all events, they never showed their faces in the house. They hadfound out, by some means, that I was in possession; and that had provedsufficient to make them surrender their claim without a contest.
"After selling out, I found leisure to look about me; and make furtherenquiries concerning the precious pair. I learnt that they had gone upto Sacramento city--where they had both taken situations in apublic-house, managed by some other man. They had no longer any money,to go into business for themselves.
"I was still determined to see them; and started off for Sacramento.
"They must have had some one on the watch; for, on reaching the place, Ifound they had left only two hours before! As my anger had been forsome time evaporating, I had no desire to pursue them any farther. Thefact is, I felt a degree of freedom--after the loss of my wife--thatwent far towards reconciling me to the man who had relieved me of her.Besides, there was something in the idea of having turned Foster out ofhis finely furnished house in San Francisco, that made me think myselfnearly square with him; and I did not care to take any more trouble,simply for the sake of troubling them.
"I returned to San Francisco; and from that place took passage in a shipjust sailing for Melbourne.
"My anger has now entirely passed away; and yet I know I am still havingsome revenge--in addition to that I have already got. Wherever they maybe, they are not living happily. They know that they have done wrong;and I'd lay a wager, there's not an hour of the day that they're notthinking of me, and dreading that I will make my appearance.
"I can return to m
y native land, and be happy. They cannot. I neverwish to see either of them again: for I have become philosophical, andam willing that their crime should bring about its own punishment."
I congratulated Farrell on the philosophy that had enabled him sosuccessfully to regain his tranquillity of spirit; and, after givingeach other mutual directions for meeting again, we parted company.
Volume Two, Chapter XXX.
ODD FASHIONS IN THE GOLD FIELDS.
Farrell's philosophical resolve--to trouble the delinquents no more--formed the subject of my reflections, as I walked towards my tent. Itwas an illustration of the power which circumstances may have, inallaying even the strongest passion: for I knew that, when first madeacquainted with his dishonour, the man had felt both deeply andresentfully.
I could not help applying the lesson to myself. "Is it possible,"thought I, "that any circumstances can ever arise to allay