insensible to the attractions of Miss H--," said I, "but thehappiness, you speak of, can never be mine."
"Oh! I understand you," rejoined he. "You have been disappointed inlove by some one else? So was I, once on a time--madly in love with agirl who married another, whom I suppose she liked better than me. Atfirst I thought of committing suicide; but was prevented--I suppose, byfear. I was afflicted with very unpleasant thoughts, springing fromthis disappointment. They stuck to me for nearly three years. I gotover them last, and I'll tell you how. I accidentally met the object ofmy affections. She was the mother of two rosy, apple-cheeked children;and presented a personal appearance that immediately disenchanted me.She was nearly as broad as she was long. I wondered how the deuce Icould ever have been such a fool as to love the woman--more especiallyto have made myself so miserable about her. If you have beendisappointed in the same manner, take my advice, and seek the remedythat restored me."
Absurd as Cannon's proposition might appear, I could not help thinkingthat there was some philosophy in it; and, without telling him of myintention, I determined on giving it further consideration.
To change the conversation, I rang the bell. I knew that Cannon wasfond of a glass of Scotch whiskey; and, when Mrs Nagger made herappearance, I requested her to bring a bottle of Glenlivet into theroom--along with some hot water and sugar. The "materials" wereproduced; and we proceeded to mixing the "toddy."
"This is the right brand," said Cannon, taking up the bottle, andscrutinising its label, "the very sort to my taste."
I could see the lips of Mrs Nagger slightly moving; and I knew that shewas muttering the words, "more's the pity!" I have no doubt that shesuffered a little at being deprived of the opportunity of giving her oneidea a more audible manifestation.
Cannon did not suffer from any disappointment as to the quality of theliquor. At all events, he appeared to find it to his liking: for hebecame so exhilarated over it, that he did not leave until sunset; andnot then, till he had prevailed upon me to accompany him--with theunderstanding, that we should spend the evening together.
"What's the use of your living in London," he asked, "if you stay allthe time within doors? You appear even less inclined to see a littlelife, than when I met you in Melbourne. Why is it, Stone?"
"Because I came here to rest myself. A life spent in labour, has givenme but few opportunities of acquiring that knowledge, that may beobtained from books; and now that I have a little leisure given me, Iwish to make a good use of it."
"That's a very sensible design, no doubt," said Cannon, "but you mustnot follow it to-night. Come along with me; and I'll show you somethingof London."
I consented to accompany Cannon--on the condition of his taking me tosome place where I could be amused in a quiet, simple manner--anyspectacle suitable to a sailor, or gold-digger, and at which there mightbe no disgrace in being present.
"Take me to some place," said I, "that is neither too high nor too low.Let me see, or hear something I can understand--something that ispopular with the majority of Londoners; so that I may be able to form anidea of their tastes and habits."
"All right," answered Cannon, "I'll take you to several places of thesort; and you can judge for yourself. You wish to witness theamusements most popular among, what might be called, the middle classes?Well, we shall first visit a concert hall, or music room. TheLondoners profess to be a musical people; and it must be admitted thatmuch, both of their time and money, is expended in listening to vocaland instrumental performances. It is in the theatres and music halls,that one may best meet the people of London--not the very lowest classof them; but those who profess, and fancy themselves up to a highstandard of civilisation. Come on!"
Yielding myself to the guidance of my sage companion, I followed himinto the street.
Volume Three, Chapter XXVII.
LONDON CONCERT SINGERS.
It was about nine o'clock in the evening, when we entered, what Cannoncalled, one of the most "respectable music halls" in London.
I discovered the "entertainment" to consist of one or more personsstanding upon a stage, before a large assemblage of people, andscreaming in such a manner, that not a word could be understood of thesubject, about which they were supposed to be singing!
To make secure, against any chance of a sensible sound reaching the earsof the audience, several instruments of music were being played at thesame time; and the combined effect of the screams, yells, moans, groans,and other agonising noises proceeding from both singers and musicians,nearly drove me distracted.
When an act of this "entertainment," was over; and the creaturesproducing it were on the point of retiring, the entire audiencecommenced clapping their hands, stamping their feet on the floor, andmaking other ridiculous demonstrations. In my simplicity, I fanciedthat this fracas arose from their satisfaction at getting rid of thehideous screaching that had come from the stage. I was told, however,that I was mistaken in this; and I afterwards learnt, that the clappingof hands and stamping of feet were intended to express the pleasure ofthe audience at what had been causing me positive pain!
I could see that these people had really been amused, or pretended thatsuch had been the case; and I fervently prayed, that I should never beafflicted with the "refinement" that could cause me to take an interestin the exhibition which appeared to have amused them.
While the storm of applause was raging, a man would spring up, andannounce the name of the next performer, or performers--though not aword of what he said could be heard. During this "intellectual"entertainment, the audience were urged to give orders for refreshments,which were served to them by men moving about in "hammer-claw coats" andwhite "chokers."
For the "refreshments" partaken of, an exorbitant price was charged; andthen something had to be paid to the ghoul-like creatures who placedthem before you.
So enlightened are the people of the world's metropolis, that a man isexpected to fee the waiter who sets his dinner before him.
An unenlightened people, who live far away from London, are such fools,as to think that when a dinner is ordered, the proprietor of the placeis under some obligation to have it set on the table; but Londoners havereached a pitch of refinement--in the art of extortion and begging--thathas conducted them to a different belief.
After staying in the "music hall" about an hour--and becoming thoroughlydisgusted both with actors and audience--I succeeded in persuading myfriend to take me away.
Our next visit was to a "tavern," where we were shown into a largeparlour, full of people, though it was some time before I became certainof this fact, by the tobacco smoke that filled the apartment.
In this place also, part of the entertainment consisted of singing,though none of the singers were engaged professionally. A majority ofthose present, seemed to be acquainted with one another; and those whocould sing, either volunteered, or sung at the request of the "company."A man sitting at the head of a long table, officiated as "chairman,"and by knocking on the table with a small ivory hammer, gave notice whena song was to commence, at the same time commanding silence.
In this place, we actually heard songs sung in good taste, and with muchfeeling, for it was possible to understand both the words and the music.On leaving this tavern we repaired to another; and gained admissioninto the "parlour." We found it filled with linen draper's assistants,and other "counter jumpers."
Their principal amusement appeared to be, that of trying which could usethe greatest quantity of slang and obscene language. It had beenraining, as we entered the house; and a young man--too elaboratelydressed to be a gentleman--who came in after us, reported to the rest ofthe company, that it was "raining like old boots."
Another well-dressed young man entertained the company with theimportant intelligence, that as soon as it should cease raining, heintended to "be off like a shot."
The individuals assembled in this tavern parlour, had a truly snobbishappearance. Their conversation was too obscene to be repeated, yetevery sentence
of ribaldry was received by the company with shouts oflaughter!
My companion and I stayed but a few minutes among them. On going outfrom this place, we resolved to separate for the night, as I was quitesatisfied with what I had seen of metropolitan amusements.
There are many disagreeable peculiarities about London life. It is theonly place visited by me in all my wanderings, in which I had seen womeninsulted in the streets, and where I had been almost every day disgustedby listening to low language.
London, for all this, offers many advantages as a home. The latest andearliest news, from all parts of the world, is there to be obtained, aswell as almost everything else--even good bread and coffee--if one willonly take the trouble to search for