Mother’s Day was nuts. Ben got up at eight, inhaled a cup of coffee and left for work. Since Mother’s Day was another word for insanity, he had to remind himself a month in advance that it was coming up and of course, when the day came, he always forgot to buy Colleen and his wife something. Luckily, they were both fairly tolerant and at this point, expected him to forget. He’d have to get them something tomorrow, since he was far too busy to do it today.
His new sous chef came in on time, but she didn’t look like she did the day before. Her shirt and dress pants were wrinkled and she was wearing a pair of old sneakers instead of dress shoes. Perhaps she was only dressed to impress yesterday, Ben thought.
Though he was too busy to ask her about it, he noticed her mood was different too. She wasn’t humming while chopping up vegetables or stirring the soup pots with a dramatic flair. And she also wasn’t looking at anyone or smiling. Ben wondered what was so different since yesterday. Maybe she wasn’t happy with the job after all. He was worried that she would quit and he would never see her again. He hoped he wasn’t just an honorable mention on her résumé.
Nine o’clock came and went and Lauren disappeared without saying goodbye. There was enough of a lull at nine-thirty so Ben could take a fifteen-minute break. He usually didn’t take the required two breaks, but he was short of breath and having dizzy spells. He thought that maybe some fresh air would help. The last thing he needed was to pass out and have to go to the hospital. How would the restaurant function without him?
The trash barrel in the kitchen was overflowing so he took the garbage out to the dumpster in the back of the restaurant before he went on his break. While he was back there, he heard what sounded like a kitten crying. He thought it might be stuck in the dumpster so he looked inside but didn’t see anything. Then he looked around it and to his surprise, he found Lauren curled up in a ball on the other side. The noise was coming from her.
Ben was stunned. She seemed so put together, he wasn’t expecting this from her. She didn’t notice him at all and continued sobbing.
“Hey,” he said awkwardly, “what’s wrong?”
Lauren looked up, obviously startled. Then panic appeared on her face.
“Uh, nothing. Nothing at all.” She stood up and brushed herself off. “I was uh…uh…I was just leaving.”
“Don’t leave,” he said to her. “I want to know what’s wrong.”
“It’s nothing, really.” She wiped the tears from her eyes.
“It’s gotta be something. Why are you out back here crying?”
Instead of answering, she put her head in her hands and made the kitten mewing sound again.
He wanted desperately to hold her, but restrained himself. “You don’t like this job?” he asked.
“I like it,” she said in a muffled voice.
“Are you sure? You can honest with me, you know. If it’s more than you can handle, I can find something else for you to do.”
“N-No…I can handle it.”
“So, it’s not the job, huh?”
“No.”
“Problems at home, then?”
“Uh…sort of.”
“What kinds of problems?”
Her sobbing started again and then she did something he wasn’t expecting at all. She ran toward him and sobbed into his shirt. He felt so bad for her that he was tempted to tell her the truth right then, but he didn’t.
He didn’t know what to say to her, so he put one arm around her waist and stroked her hair with his free hand. Her head fit perfectly on his shoulder. Her hair was soft just like Charlene’s was.
It took her several minutes to calm down, but when she lifted her head from his shirt, she looked very composed.
“Do you want to go for a walk?” Ben asked her. “I have a couple of minutes to kill.”
“Okay,” she replied.
They walked past a line of dumpsters and parked cars, passing a noisy Irish pub. When they reached Sutter Street, Lauren told Ben about her situation.
“My mother’s in the hospital right now,” she said. “She has a lot of problems. The last couple of years she’s been really depressed. She took a ton of pills last night and I found her unconscious this morning.”
This was Charlene she was talking about, not some stranger, though it didn’t sound like something Charlene would do at all. He remembered that she had everything going for her. Obviously, things had changed.
“I’m sorry,” he replied. “That must be so tough to deal with. I hope she’s okay.”
“They pumped her stomach in the emergency room this morning,” Lauren replied. “The doctor said that they’re going to keep her there for a few days for observation, but they said she’ll be all right. The only good thing about this mess is that it wasn’t as bad as last time.”
“This has happened before?”
“Yeah, Christmas Eve last year. That was the worst.”
“Oh, geez…that must have been a nightmare.”
“Yes, it was.”
“Isn’t she on medication or something?”
“She tried a bunch of different things, but nothing works. She was on Prozac when she went into the hospital last Christmas, so obviously that didn’t work either.”
“Why don’t you send her to a therapist?”
“My uncle had her go see a friend of his that was a psychologist, but she wouldn’t talk to him at all. I can’t even get her to talk to me, never mind a stranger. About ninety-nine percent of the time, I don’t even know what’s bugging her. She doesn’t tell me anything, so I have to guess what it is.”
“What do you think it is?”
“My father,” Lauren replied, which startled Ben. Then he realized she was talking about Johnny. “He left her a long time ago and I guess she was devastated. I don’t exactly know what happened because I was really young, but I remember I was sent to live with my uncle and I didn’t see her for the longest time. When I finally saw her again, she had really changed. It was like she died and someone else took her place. She wasn’t the same mother I had as a kid.”
“I’m really sorry about your situation, Lauren,” Ben said to her. “I hope your mother gets better.”
“I hope so, too,” Lauren replied. “That’s why I’m staying with her. It was so hard while I was in college. I was thousands of miles away so I didn’t know what was going on with her. The whole time I was there, I was afraid I was going to get a phone call from my uncle saying that she hurt herself or even died. As much as I miss Boston, I feel so relieved that I’m back.”
“Well, I’m glad you’re back too,” Ben said. “Otherwise, you wouldn’t be working at Michele’s. I really enjoy having you as part of my staff.”
Lauren smiled appreciatively. “I really like being at Michele’s too. It takes my mind off of my problems.”
“I know what you mean,” Ben replied.
“You have problems, too?” Lauren said. “Your life seems perfect to me.”
“Well, when I was your age, I had a ton of issues. Most of them were my own fault, I’m afraid, but then I met Annie and now everything is great most of the time.”
Lauren sighed. “I wish my mother was better, then I could go to France and visit Remi.”
“Is he your boyfriend?”
Lauren giggled. “Not exactly. He’s just a friend, really.”
“But you wish he were your boyfriend.”
“Uh…yeah, sometimes. I get the feeling that he really likes me too, but he’s never told me. And I’m afraid to ask him.”
“Why are you afraid?”
“Well…it’s complicated. I really can’t start a relationship right now, because I’m taking care of my mother. And then there’s Remi’s family. They’re very wealthy and I’m sort of afraid they won’t approve of me. It’s not that my family’s dirt poor. My grandmother has a lot of money and so does my uncle, but we’re just regular people, not aristocrats like they are.
”
“You shouldn’t let stuff like that get in the way. You know…a long time ago, when I was in high school, I had a very serious girlfriend. We probably would have gotten married, but her family didn’t like me.”
“What happened to her?”
“She married someone else.”
“Well, maybe it was meant to be. You met Annie.”
“Yeah, that’s true, but losing…” he stopped before he said Charlene, “my first girlfriend was pretty traumatic. It took me a long time to get over her.”
“Do you think I should tell Remi how I feel?”
“Yes, definitely.”
“Oh okay…maybe I will, then. I hate to say this, but I’m sort of embarrassed by my mother. I love her to pieces, but…uh…I’m afraid if Remi finds out about her, he won’t like me anymore. I know that sounds really awful, but that’s how I feel.”
“Don’t be embarrassed, Lauren. It’s not your fault. And it’s nothing to be ashamed of, either. I bet Remi’s thinking the same thing about his mother.”
Lauren chuckled. “I think he is, but for different reasons. I guess she’s the town gossip. You can’t tell her anything without the whole world knowing.”
“And do you like him any less for that?”
“No, of course not.”
“See, there you go.”
They turned the corner to Grant Avenue, where they saw the other end of the alleyway, then returned to the back of the restaurant.
“Thank you so much, Ben. I feel ten times better now that I’ve talked to you. I know how busy you are and I really appreciate you taking time to help me.”
“It’s no big deal. I do it all the time.”
“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Lauren said.
“Actually, why don’t you take the week off? Then you can look after your mother.”
“What?” Lauren looked stunned. “I’d love to do that, but I really need the money right now.”
“I’ll tell you what,” Ben said. “Pretend that you worked this whole week. You can come in on Friday and pick up your check. Then, you can return to work next Sunday. Hopefully, your mother will be home and feeling better by then.”
Lauren’s eyes widened in astonishment. “You’re going to pay me even though I’m not working? Oh my god…you’re a saint!”
“Yeah, too bad the pope hasn’t figured it out yet,” Ben said.
“Thank you so much!” she said, and then kissed him on the cheek. “I’ll be back next week, no problem. I’ll let you go back to work now.”
He waved to her as she ran across the street to the parking garage. It was as if they had never been apart.
As he opened back door of the restaurant, he realized it was better than he had even imagined it to be.
Chapter 80: October 7