“Fuck, Trig, don’t stop. Please. You’re not hurting. It feels so fucking good.”
“Shit,” he groans out, barely audible through his own lust and pleasure. I wrap my legs around his hips and adhere him to me, having a hard time maintaining eye contact as I feel him filling me up, my wetness making his slipping in and out so easy.
He begins to slam into me, picking up the strength and pace of his thrusts, and I moan loudly, his name escaping my lips once again. This only seems to keep him going, urging him to get me to just where I want to be.
Then, my legs begin to shake, my whole body out of my control as a rush comes through me like I am taking a roller coaster downhill. Just as I scream, probably disturbing whoever shares this wall with us, my insides squeeze his cock so that his own climax rocks him inside of me. This is how sex should be. I hope this is how it will be from now on.
The biggest fight you’ll ever have is between who you are now and who you are capable of becoming.
[email protected] KAT
Trig and I spent the morning getting to know each other quite well. The morning turned into the afternoon, and before we knew, it the sun was starting to go down. For the life of me, I didn’t think we had a plan. There was no calculated decision on how we’d approach my family, or when. Really, it was touch and go.
I stared at the clock for hours, my stomach turning into a million agonizing knots as each minute passed us by.
Deep down, I don’t think that I ever expected to get back to Montana. After years with Rage and the Demons I expected to die there, and he never let me believe otherwise. He made it a point to tell me that’s where I’d die, with him, that he would bury my body in an unmarked grave and no one would ever grieve my loss. That is the kind of man I had to spend my days with. Years of hearing it, over and over again, I just began to not care anymore. Now I find myself wanting to care, or maybe I’m simply trying to care since my future is so unknown.
Before, I knew what to expect, or at least had a general idea, and here I am, with the biggest curveball ever. In a bed with Trig, who somehow decided he wanted to be my knight in shining armor and save me.
I didn’t ask to be saved, nor did I want it. However, today…I am starting to become thankful. Maybe there is more to live for, and I have a feeling I’ll find out soon enough.
I won’t lie, today is scaring the daylights out of me. So many years have passed, and so much has changed. My mind keeps wandering through every possible situation, and until I come face to face with my family, I won’t really know.
Honestly, I’m silently torturing myself.
“C’mon. We’re not gonna sit around any longer,” Trig tells me as he takes my hand and leads me out to the SUV.
I sit silently as he drives us out onto the interstate and takes an exit when he sees a sign for an outlet. I didn’t tell him to turn, and he didn’t ask. When I give him a puzzled look, he informs me that I need some new clothes, and I do. We left everything behind at the Demons clubhouse. I only had the clothes on my back and was grateful to have something new to change into.
Trig pulls up to a small secondhand store, telling me I can get anything I want. It feels wrong, to accept it. Of course, I wasn’t used to receiving anything without some sort of catch.
He walks with me through the entire store, grabbing things that peak my interest when I don’t. I catch him shaking his head a few times when I walk by something, still, he adds it into the pile that he has in his hands.
“It’s probably best if you’re not wearing my shirt when we see your family,” he comments, putting his hand on the small of my back, continuing to guide me along.
I can’t help but agree with him, the shirt I am wearing is way too big, and while I don’t mind wearing Trig’s shirt, it would be nice to have something that fit me right.
He wins this time, paying for a few pairs of pants and shirts. It will be the last time I let him do it, I’m not a charity case, after all.
I change in the dressing room into a new pair of dark blue denim skinny jeans and a black tank top. I feel nervous, having so much of myself exposed. As I stand in the dressing room, staring myself down in the mirror in front of me, it feels like everyone will be able to see me. Scars and all. That makes me nervous, even as I look over my skin, trying to see if anyone will be able to tell, I know they won’t. I made it my job to keep them hidden, away from peering eyes.
There were a few that someone could notice, but I could do a good job and make sure that I was covered up.
For a moment, I wondered if it wasn’t the scars on my body, but the scars burned into my soul that bothered me so much.
“Kat?” I jump, hearing Trig rap on the dressing room door, calling me a name I hadn’t heard in ages. The last time I remember being called Kat was that day…when Ashley and I went to the movies.
I button the front of my jeans and grab the old clothes in my hands before I open the door and face him. When I do, he tries to hide his smile and fails miserably.
“You look good.” With that, I’m the one failing to hide my own smile.
We take our time making it back to the SUV when thoughts come into my mind, things that maybe I should have thought about before we got to this point. Yeah, everything is good and dandy now…but what if I’m left alone with them? I didn’t think about…
“What’s going to happen after today?” I nervously blurt out my question, terrified for the answer that I may get. Last night was great, it was amazing even, but that doesn’t mean that he’s going to stay. No matter how much I want him to, that doesn’t mean he will.
He turns to me at my question, not answering but taking the bags from my hands and setting them in the back seat of the SUV. He shuts the door, my nerves slowly killing me as I wait for him.
“I don’t know. What I do know is that isn’t the answer you’re looking for. Kat, I don’t know what’s going to happen after today. Hell, I didn’t think I’d ever be here with you, like this. We can never predict the future, so what are you really asking me?”
He cuts through my bullshit. It’s funny how he knows that within my question lies another question, only one that I don’t want to ask because I am petrified if he answers in the way I don’t want him to.
“Are you going to leave?” I gather all of my courage and ask him. I need to know what’s going to happen, or as much that I can know at this given moment. There has been so much that has happened over the last few days, none of which that I had any preparation for, and if something is going to change again I want to know. I need to be able to have that time to process it, since I haven’t had it for anything else.
He laughs, and I mean, he laughs.
After a couple of minutes he composes himself, takes a step towards me, and places his hands on both sides of my cheeks. “You silly, stupid, little girl. Someone would have to kill me to get me out of your life. Do you understand that?”
Trig presses a kiss to my forehead, to my nose, and then lastly, to my lips. “C’mon, sweetheart, let’s go meet your parents.”
I don’t know exactly what’s next but I’m stepping forward with grit anchored in grace.
-Julie Graham
KAT
In life, there are terrifying moments that constantly surround us. Right now, I am reminded of this as my heart pounds faster than it ever has before. With each mile marker we pass we get closer to Billings, which means that we’re closer to one place, home.
As we drive down the old roads, I can feel my memories being jogged, that pond to the right is where my Dad taught me how to fish for the first time. Then, I remember him taking us up to the cabin in Whitefish for long weekends of white river rafting, fishing, canoeing and swimming. Heck, I can remember the one time a load of us went up and spent Christmas there. It was my fondest childhood memory.
Five more minutes, and we’re almost there. I can feel it, somehow, deep within my bones, I know I am so close, and there it is, the rock with the Reaper
s MC emblem, right off the road like I remember.
“Take a left,” I tell Trig, who turns the blinker on and takes us down the road.
He drives slowly, and I peel my eyes for anything. I vaguely remember gates before, I don’t know why my Uncle Fist had them back then, but now I understand more than ever. When I was a child I thought it was to keep us cooped us, locked there in some way. Today, I know it’s to keep others out. He was only trying to keep us safe.
“I take it this is the joint?” Trig asks, nodding up ahead to where gates suddenly start to appear, instantly I notice the barbed wire at the top, not remembering it being there from when I was younger.
“Should be.” The rock is my indication that it probably is, but never would I be sure until we were both on the other side of it.
He drives up the road until we come into the entryway and pulls up against the small building that mans it. There is no getting through these things without being passed through. Now was the part that I didn’t think about. How would I tell someone who I was?
Trig rolls down the window as a man approaches the SUV. He is tall, tattoos cover most of him, and he has eyes that could melt any woman right in her seat. “Sup. Who are you two and what’re you doing here?”
“I’m Trig, and this is Kathryn. Who’re you?”
“Boog. Now answer my damn question before I put a bullet through both of your skulls. I’m feelin’ a little trigger happy at the moment.” Boog chews on a piece of gum, staring mainly at me. He’s doing it on purpose, I can see that. He’s the kind of man that begs for trouble, that lives and breeds off of it.
I see Trig’s hand move from the corner of my eye, he has a gun sitting right and pretty next to him. There’s a reason he’s called Trig, short for Trigger, and not the kind of man you threaten to shoot. “I’m from the Demons of Hell, and I brought something back that’s been missing for quite a fucking while, you’d better scurry off and find your Prez.”
“Don’t move,” Boog says, walking into the little building next to us. I glance over to Trig and he looks so serious right now.
“I almost shot him.”
“I know,” I laugh
“You’re laughing that I almost shot someone before we even got you back in the gates?”
“Mhm,” I confess, tears spilling from the corners of my eyes.
“He threatened you. I won’t stand for that, Kitten.” I hear the seriousness in his voice, and it makes me a little scared for Boog. Something tells me that this is far from over.
The gates ahead of us open, and out comes Boog, “Drive up to the club. Kade will meet you there.”
Trig follows Boog’s instruction, driving us straight until we both can spot the clubhouse. The second he puts the car in park, there is a group of men surrounding the SUV. There is one older man, his beard comes down to his chest, and he wears rings on all of his fingers. Another has jet black hair, he’s seriously handsome…one of those bad boys that all the girls go after. Next to him is another, who looks quite similar. They might even be brothers, and lastly, there is a man who might be in his thirties. He has dark hair, salt and peppery in certain areas.
Trig takes my hand and opens his door, exiting first, and then I follow, sticking close to him. I know that none of these people will hurt me, some of them might even be my family, but I haven’t seen them in ages, and the only person I trust right now is Trig.
I take in my surroundings, watching everyone as much as I can. All of their eyes are on me, and then Trig. I can’t imagine what it’s like for them, never mind me, but what they’re thinking right now… I should have thought more about this, what I’d say, what I’d do…I didn’t think about all of the variables before we came here today.
“Kit-Kat?” My eyes widen at the sound of my old nickname, my cousins Zane and Kade came up with it, never failing to use it whenever we were together. Somehow, for some reason, my eyes water hearing it. I knew today would be emotional, but never did I think that I’d be this emotional, so quick. “I didn’t think we’d ever see you again. God, I’m so fucking glad you’re home,” he comments, and I’m pretty sure it’s Kade. His hair is darker than I remember, and goodness has he gotten tall…
“We didn’t know you were coming. Did you not think to call us?” The irate voice comes from the man with the beard, he’s furious, and it’s not difficult to tell that he is. “What the hell were you thinking, Damon?”
“That I was bringing her back alive and well. Did you want me to bring her back to you in a fucking body bag?” I listen closely, curious as to the quarrel between these two. How did they know each other, and why is this man calling Trig, Damon?
“What is going on…” I mumble, looking to the group of them.
Trig puts his arm around my waist, pulling me against him and looks right into my eyes. “I know your cousin Ashley. I wasn’t with the Demons for my own reason, Kitten. It’s a really long fucking story, but I’ll make it short for you. The Demons of Hell ruined everything for my family. Rage was the monster behind that, so I went back to take back what belongs to me. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, which is how I know your cousin, uncle, and the Reapers.”
“What on earth…”
“It’s politics, kid. Nothing you gotta worry about.”
“Don’t you fucking dismiss her like that. Have some damned respect. She deserves to know it all, every damn thing. Do you understand me?” Trig snaps it out at the older man.
Everyone falls silent, and Kade takes a couple steps towards me and wraps me in a hug, forcing Trig out of the way. “I’ve really fucking missed you, Kit-Kat. I’ll be around, and we’ll catch up later, okay? Something tells me Dad is gonna be arguing with your man for a while now.”
“Zane?” I ask as Kade leaves and the lookalike comes walking towards me. He nods, with a small smile.
“Kade is right, you know. Dad is about to blow his gasket, and I’m gonna leave before there’s a big problem. Breakfast tomorrow?” I nod agreeing and watch as he meets up with Kade and disappears.
I watch as the men around us dwindle until it’s me, Trig, and who I now know is my uncle. It’s funny, you think I’d remember him, but he’s changed quite a bit over the years.
“She tried to kill herself. I really didn’t have an option except to get her to the hospital and leave before Rage knew what was going on. You wanted her home, and I took the only opportunity I had.”
“I’m confused!” I yell it out, looking between my uncle and Trig. How did any of this happen? “I want answers.”
Trig sighs, taking a deep breath he starts to speak. “My name is Damon Raines, my father is Roman Raines, the Prez of the Brotherhood MC. My father knows your parents, they were all in the Demons together before shit went down and blood was shed. It’s what forced my family away and into hiding. I assumed a new identity and made sure I was accepted as a prospect for the Demons. My father wanted retribution, and I did too. Only, I’d been there for years. Slowly I’d been taking away whatever I could from Rage, weakening him at any given opportunity. Then I find out about you, I didn’t have all of the information, but I had some. I had to keep you safe, I have to. My family and yours are tied, Ashley knows my brothers and sisters. My sister got word to me that you were there and I’ve been watching you for a while. I made a promise, Kat. I wasn’t going to let anything happen to you, and I won’t ever, for as long as I live.”
I want to be with you.
It’s as simple, and as complicated as that.
-HPLYRIKZ.COM
DAMON
“You lied to me.” We’re standing here, in this fucking parking lot with Fist staring me down like I’m the devil himself for bringing his niece back home, which is what I was supposed to do.
“Yes,” I admit, because I can’t argue with her. I lied, and I lied well. There were plenty of times that I could have told her who I was, or who I knew, or even what I was doing there. I wasn’t solely in the Demons for my father. Being there for her meant t
hat I was doing something good and fuck me for wanting to do something that wasn’t for me, or my family.
“I had given up…everything, and you…you were there the entire time, and you didn’t say anything to me? I…tried to fucking kill myself. I wanted to die because my family had abandoned me, when they didn’t even do that. You were…if you had just said something to me then I wouldn’t have…Oh my god…”
“Kat…” When I say her name, she looks at me with such hatred laced in those eyes.
Our situation is complicated now, and I know that. Of course, there was nothing simplistic about us anyway.
“I couldn’t tell you.”
“We wouldn’t let him,” Fist pipes up, approaching us. “He was to do one thing for us, make sure you stayed alive. If he had told you what he was doing, you may have started acting differently and Rage would have picked up on that. We couldn’t risk it. We just couldn’t risk actually losing you when you were so close to coming back home to us. Don’t be angry at him, kiddo. Be pissed at me. Damon was watching over you, he was always watching over you.”
“I thought you all had given up on me, I believed that you did…and now I’m finding out that you never did, and instead had a trojan horse in the fucking club who was watching me slowly spiral down into my path of self-destruction. So, excuse me, I have the fucking right to be angry right now.”
“Look at me,” I tell her, eyes flashing back in my direction. I take her face in my hands. “I am sorry. If I had thought for a split second that telling you would have changed things, I would have. How would I know that you wouldn’t laugh in my face and tell Rage? I didn’t. You might have. He had you on so much shit babe, I don’t even know if you knew what you were doing half the time. If I told you, it would have risked both of our lives, and while I don’t care much about my own, I do give quite a few fucks about you.”