She forced a smile she didn’t feel and moved toward him. “Would you like something to eat?”
He shook his blond head. “I…I heard the bells.”
“What bells?”
“The castle bells. Today at the Stone Circle, Casey told me what they mean.”
Meddling Misos. Callia closed her eyes. Shook her head. Felt that ache all over again. “Your newfound aunt needs to learn to keep her mouth shut.”
He moved down the two steps into the sunken living room, with its dark woods and formal furnishings, his little, perfect, bare feet making not a single sound on the hardwood floors her father had loved so much. “You’re doing this because of me, aren’t you?”
The anger she heard in his voice and the way his eyes flashed that swirling smoky gray before resettling to their normal silver color reminded her of Zander. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“I’m stronger than you think.”
That ache intensified. “I don’t want you to have to be strong, Max,” she whispered as he stopped in front of her. “You’ve been strong long enough. It’s time for us to do that for you.”
He reached out and took her hand, and as she looked down she saw the markings on his forearms that ran down his fingers and now spread out to entwine hers. And she had a memory flash. Of that suite in the half-breed colony. Of her and Zander in that big bed. Of his fingers intertwined with hers. Of those markings over and around her as if she were a part of them herself.
“I didn’t think you wanted me,” he said in a soft voice, looking down at their hands. “I dreamed about it at night. But during the day, I convinced myself you didn’t. That you couldn’t…That someone like me was…unlovable.”
His silver eyes lifted to hers, and she knew he saw the tears in hers but she didn’t look away. Or answer. Because she owed him this much.
“The little old lady with the glass told me to remember my humanity. I didn’t think it would matter, but…I was wrong. Humanity can’t save a person, but it can give you hope. And without that…well, you might as well just become one of Atalanta’s daemons.”
That ache in her chest engulfed her entire being until she thought it might just consume her.
“It seems like a silly little thing,” he said softer, “but sometimes hope can be enough to make all the difference.”
She leaned over so they were face-to-face. “You’re not supposed to be smarter than me at ten years of age.”
One corner of his mouth curled up. “Good genes?”
“Good something.”
“I practiced flashing earlier today.” The grin on Max’s face lightened the ache in her chest. And gods, his smile at full force was dazzling. “Casey told me how it works. Want to see? We could go outside right now and I could show you. I bet I could flash all the way to the castle if I tried.”
Wonderful. A manipulator. Just like his father. Between the two of them, she didn’t stand a chance.
“There are guards all over the castle,” she said. “After everything that happened, they’re being extra cautious with security for the…event.”
The binding ceremony. Zander’s binding. Her stomach pitched hard. She couldn’t possibly be contemplating going to the castle. Not now. What good would it do? Nothing had changed. They still couldn’t leave with him and he’d never go without her. Butterflies took flight in her stomach.
“I’m pretty sure I can get us in.” The look of utter confidence on his face struck her, and in that moment he was the picture-perfect image of Zander.
She would never be free of the guardian. No matter where she went or what she did, Zander was always going to be a part of her. And though she’d tried to convince herself what she felt for him was trivial, in the end it was everything. He was everything. Max was right. She couldn’t kill his hope because she thought it would make things easier. She’d spent her whole life resenting those who laid claim to her, and yet the one person she now knew she truly belonged to was the only one who thought she didn’t care.
Her heart pounded hard in her chest. Images, memories, pictures of Zander were all she could see.
Max lifted his brows. “Ready?”
“No,” she whispered as her pulse beat like wildfire. When it came to Zander she was never ready. But this time, at least, she knew she was doing the right thing.
“Yo, Z. It’s time.”
Zander turned from the window he’d been staring out the last twenty minutes and looked across the gigantic bedroom suite on the third floor of the castle—correction, his bedroom suite—toward Titus, decked out in his Argonaut dress uniform, dwarfing the doorframe and anteroom beyond.
The guardian wore the same ensemble Zander did—tight-fitting dark trousers, a white tunic cinched at the waist, the traditional leather breastplate decorated with the seal of his forefather and a cloak made of differing colors based on a guardian’s lineage, which fell over his left arm and was anchored at his shoulder with a bronze leaf. Titus, being from Odysseus’s line, wore a blue cloak. Zander’s was amber.
Titus let out a low whistle as he looked around the room. “Sweet digs. You could hold a party in here and still have room to house the Misos while they look for a new base camp.”
Zander glanced around the massive and stifling room with its soaring ceilings and gold everything as his stomach rolled all over again. Man, he hated this. Hated every part of it. He was so fucked it wasn’t even funny. And there wasn’t a goddamn thing he could do about it.
He drew in a steadying breath and wished for his old friend, rage, to push its way forward so he had an excuse to escape. But it didn’t. It was nowhere to be found.
“You okay, old man?” Titus asked quietly from the door.
Realizing he was staring off into space and that this was a conversation he didn’t want to have with anyone—especially someone who could read his pathetic mind—Zander gave his head a shake and forced his feet forward. “I’m fine. Let’s just go do this and get it the hell over with.”
“Spoken like another happy groom,” Titus muttered, stepping out of the doorway to let Zander pass.
They made it to the top of the grand stairs before his skin started to itch under the greaves—the ancient shin guards that ran from his boots to his knees over his pants. To keep the panic at bay, Zander focused on the sensation of the leather rubbing the cloth into his skin as he moved, and counted the minutes until he could be back in his room—alone—staring out at nothing.
The royal temple was located in the courtyard of the castle. By now the Council would be seated, including the other Argonauts and Orpheus who—motherfucker—he still couldn’t believe was being fast-tracked to replace Lucian when he retired. Sure, he owed Orpheus for saving Callia and Max on that hillside, and as Gryphon was a guardian himself, that left Orpheus as Lucian’s only blood relative who was eligible for the seat. But Orpheus on the Council of Elders had bad news written all over it. Even Zander could see that much.
He was so caught up in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the commotion one floor down near the main doors until he and Titus rounded the newel post at the top of the first floor.
“Looks like the Executive Guard’s finally good for something,” Titus mumbled at his side. “At least they’re keeping the rubberneckers back from your nuptials.”
Zander peered down to where someone was arguing with the two guards at the door. When the guard on the left tried to muscle the person back, a small voice said, “Get your hands off her.” The guard went sailing backward to land on his ass on the shiny marble floor.
Zander froze. He knew that voice. He moved down three steps, his eyes searching for his son.
“Zander! Wait!” Callia broke free of the second guard and sprinted across the lobby toward him. Zander’s eyes grew wide. Shouts rang out behind Callia. In his peripheral vision, Zander saw Titus speed past him toward the door, but he barely cared. All he saw was her.
“What’s wrong?” he asked when she reached him
. “Max. I thought I heard—”
“Max is fine.” Callia’s chest rose and fell with her labored breathing, and her cheeks were rosy and wet, as if she’d just run a mile in the rain. “He can’t flash to save his life, though.” A hysterical laugh slipped from her perfect mouth. “He can take down a demigod, but he can’t flash. He gets that from my side of the family, you know. Overachievers have trouble with the simplest tasks.”
His brow lowered as his eyes searched her face. He was having trouble following her, had no idea why she was here, but couldn’t look away if his life depended on it. “Callia, if nothing’s wrong with Max, then what are you doing here?”
“I…” Her eyes shifted to the side, and his followed. He caught sight of his son, just as wet and out of sorts as she was, near the main doors, helping Titus set the guard on his feet.
Callia stepped in front of him, blocking his view, until all he saw was her face. “See? He’s fine. I…I needed to see you. To talk to you before…” She swallowed hard, pressed her hands to her flushed cheeks. “Oh, gods. This sounded so much saner in my head on the way over here.”
“What are you—?”
“Oh, Zander. I lied.” Her hands moved to his chest, and even beneath the layer of leather and cloth, his skin warmed from the contact. “When you came to see me yesterday I thought I was making things easier, but I see now I wasn’t. All I was doing was taking away your hope, and no one should have to live without that. I mean, you might as well be a daemon without it. And you’re not a daemon, are you?” She looked up at him with the softest eyes he’d ever seen. Like amethysts mined from the purest ores, polished to a gleaming shine.
Of course, she made no sense whatsoever, but when she looked at him like that, as if some part of her still cared, he could almost believe the things that had happened between them—all the really awful stuff—were nothing more than memories.
“Did you hear what I said, Zander?” Her hands landed gently on his face, and that warmth spread hot over his skin, drawing him back to her words. “I was wrong to take that from you. Just as I was wrong to keep my love for you to myself. It doesn’t change anything, I know that, but it wasn’t right and I—”
He gripped her arms. “What did you just say?”
“I said I was wrong.”
“No. The other part.”
Her face went all dreamy, just as it had in every fantasy he’d had of her over the years. “I said I love you. I’ve always loved you. Even when I thought I had a reason to hate you, I loved you. I should have told you before—so many times—but I was scared. I’m not scared anymore.”
His brain and heart clicked into gear at the exact same time. And even before the first bell tolled outside in the courtyard, he was pulling her toward the main doors.
“Zander. Wait. What are you doing?”
“We’ll go right now. We’ll get Max and go. The portal won’t be heavily guarded, not with everyone here. We—”
“No.”
The finality to her voice and the way she stopped short brought him around to look at her.
“No,” she said softer. “We’re not going anywhere. Nothing’s changed, Zander.”
“But you said—”
She moved in close, and the heat from her body drifted up and around him, warming that place he thought had gone cold. “I said I love you, and I do. But that doesn’t change our reality.” Her hands rested gently on his breastplate again, right over the symbol of Achilles branded into the leather. “I’m your vulnerability, aren’t I?” At his silence she lifted her eyes, eyes so clear he was sure he could see himself in them. “Your weakness, your Achilles’ heel. Zander, why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because it doesn’t matter.”
“Yes, it does. Right now it’s all that matters.”
“That isn’t your curse to bear.”
She slid her arm around his back and ran her fingers over the scars there now. Her scars, which he’d taken from her when he’d opened himself fully to her. “It’s not yours either.”
“Thea—”
“I would go to the ends of the earth with you if I could, Zander, but I can’t. We both know Atalanta is going to be gunning for Casey and Isadora and me. And Max isn’t safe in the human realm either.”
“I can protect you both.”
Her hand curved around his cheek, and reflexively he leaned into her touch, wanting it everywhere, anywhere. “And who’s going to protect you? If something happens to me, it happens to you. And then who will take care of Max? We can’t abandon him there again.”
“I…” His heart squeezed tight because he was getting exactly what he wanted—her love—and yet, he would never have her. She was right. How could he take them into the human realm and know there was a strong chance doing so could condemn their son all over again? And yet if he stayed here…
He closed his eyes as the pain in his chest condensed to the only thing he could feel. “I can’t live without you.”
Her other hand came up to frame his face. “You don’t have to. You never have to. I’m always going to be right here.”
Yeah, but he wouldn’t be. He looked down at her. “The king won’t change his mind. He—”
“You promised me you would make all of this right. Do you remember that? At the colony? Zander, this is your chance to do that.” She took a deep breath. “You have to go through with the binding ceremony. You have to marry Isadora.”
“No—”
“Do you think I want this?” Her eyes filled with tears. “I want you and us and the life we should have had a long time ago, but that can’t happen. And more than that, I want our son to grow up in a world where what happened to me won’t happen to another female.”
She moved in close until it was all he could do not to grab her and hold on for dear life. “Zander, you have a chance to change things, to make a difference, to help Isadora reshape our world. It’s ironic, don’t you think, that Ar-golea was a realm set aside by the gods, a place of peace, and yet we have as many problems as they do on earth?” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Make this right for Max. And for me. You can do that for us. You’re the only one who can.”
“What you’re asking me to do…” His eyes fell closed again. “I can’t love another. I’ve tried. Gods, I’ve tried. But you’re it for me, thea. Just you.”
“I will always be yours, Zander.” Her voice quivered. “And not because some curse says I am. Open your eyes and look at me.” He did, and when he focused on her violet eyes he saw everything he felt reflected back on her face. “I’m yours because I love you. Because the connection we share is stronger than anything the king decrees or does. No binding ceremony can break that. For me there’s no one but you. But we need you here. To stay in this realm, to be there for Max, to help the Argonauts and to make our world better. If you leave we can’t go with you. But if you stay…Oh, Zander, there’s so much good that can come from it.”
His heart broke into a thousand pieces. He never thought—not in a million years—that her love wouldn’t be enough. But it wasn’t. Fate seemed to be pushing them in different directions and he was powerless to stop it.
He rested his forehead against hers and just tried to breathe. But even that hurt. “This sucks.”
Her fingers twined around to run through the hair at the nape of his neck. “It does. I agree.”
Silence settled between them. And like it always did, the silky smooth glide of her fingers against his skin calmed him from the inside out.
“A true leader sets aside his personal wants for the good of the whole,” she whispered. “And he makes sacrifices. Ones that, in the end, justify all that came before.” When he lifted his head and frowned at her, a sad smile spread across her perfect face. “Someone once told me that.”
“Sounds like a moron. I’m not a leader.”
“No, but you’re a guardian. The best one I know. And you’re a father. That makes you a leader, whether you think so or not. Zander, do you
know your irises are silver?”
What was left of his heart pinched. Tight. He rested his forehead against hers once more. “Because of you.”
“Oh…”
“You’re holding up the proceedings, Argonaut.”
The king’s irritated voice echoing from above brought tension to Zander’s shoulders all over again. He glared up to the balcony where the fragile king stood leaning against the banister in his white regal suit, a scowl on his wrinkled face and a cane in one hand. It was clear he couldn’t see them, but he could hear them, and Zander had no doubt the now-blind king could picture what was happening below.
Theron, dressed in his uniform and red cloak, stood at the king’s right, Casey at his left. Neither the leader of the Argonauts nor his bride looked thrilled with the situation, and the king was positively fuming.
Callia’s soft fingers against his cheek drew his face back to hers. “Ignore him.”
“He’s your biological father. He should care.”
“He’s doing what he thinks is best. Look at me.” When he did, the shine of tears in her eyes told him this was as hard for her as it was for him. Probably harder. “Don’t let him poison our last few seconds together.”
“Thea…”
She brushed the hair back from his temples, and her voice hitched when she said, “I love you, Zander. Always. Remember that whenever things get to be too much. Me and Max. We’re yours no matter where you go or what you do. Nothing, no one, can change that.”
Mine. As he looked down into her eyes, he saw his life broken into two parts. The way it was before her, empty and meaningless, and the way it had been since she’d come into it, full and with purpose. She’d uncovered the humanity in him, given him balance and healed him in a way no one else ever could. And though part of him burned with the heat of a thousand suns knowing they couldn’t be together, she was right. She was his. Would always be his.