I exhaled a long breath and tried my damnedest to loosen the muscles in my body. He was right—once I started to relax, the pain subsided a bit.
“Keep going,” I told him.
Noah’s voice was raspy, his body trembling. “Are you sure? I’m not even all the way in yet. That was only the head.”
What!?
I nodded my head quickly, my jaw feeling the pressure of my clenched teeth. I inhaled deeply and then exhaled again, readying myself for yet more pain. I could do this. I could do it for him. “Just … go slow,” I said, unable to keep the strain out of my voice.
“I’m hurting you. We’re not doing this,” he said, and I felt him back away as if he were about to pull out, which I absolutely could not let happen.
“No! I want this. Please, Noah, let me give this to you. Give this to me,” I begged, and then pushed back into him slightly to prove how much I wanted it.
I heard him groan. A groan of pleasure, not frustration. I did that to him. Then I felt his warm, soft, wet lips along my shoulders again as he began to move inside me, oh so slowly, once more. It wasn’t nearly as painful, just uncomfortable. But the more he moved, the deeper he went, the more I loosened up and started to enjoy the sensations. An involuntary moan escaped my lips, and I felt his arms tighten around me and his breathing became heavier. I wanted to know that it felt good to him, too; I wanted to hear him say it.
“What does it feel like?” I asked. “Do you like it?”
“Oh, God, kitten. You have no idea,” he moaned in that husky voice, his hot breath spilling over the skin on the back of my neck. “You feel so fucking good.”
“More. Give me more,” I urged him on, knowing he was holding back for fear of hurting me. But I wanted him to get the full effect, and in truth, I sort of liked it. I knew I wouldn’t get off this first time, but that was okay, too.
Noah held me firmly in place as he rolled his hips, moving deeper still, faster.
“That’s it, baby,” I spurred him on. “Do what feels good to you. I want you to come so fucking hard.”
“Shit! I love it when you say naughty things to me,” he managed between heavy breaths.
That was all he needed to say. If he loved it, I was going to give him more of it.
“Noah, your massive cock is in my ass,” I moaned, wanting him to get the mental effect as well as the physical. “Oh, God, baby. You’re fucking me in my ass, owning me completely.”
That must have done it.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck!” he growled through clenched teeth. “I can’t … stop. Oh, God. I’m gonna … Fuck, I’m gonna come, kitten.”
Noah thrust into me, his hips slapping against my ass and his hand clutching my hip so hard I knew there would be a bruise there by morning. He bit into the flesh on the back of my neck and growled out his release, furiously animalistic. All I could do was hold on, all the while grinning like the cat that ate the canary. I did that for him. I gave him what no one else ever had—or ever would again, if I had anything to say about it. And I’d do it a thousand more times. Because I could.
It hurt like a motherfucker. But the discomfort I experienced was worth it in the end, because it was a connection only he and I shared. I could feel how much pleasure it gave him, and I reveled in the fact that a man who seemingly was always in control wasn’t when it came to me. It was a freedom he deserved, and I always wanted him to feel like that.
I’d come to Noah a virgin in every sense of the word, physically and emotionally, and he had introduced me to a world of unspeakable pleasure. He might have paid two million dollars for me, but I owed him so much more than that for what he had given to me in return. I owed him my heart, my soul, my body—and they were all his.
“I love you so much, Noah Crawford.” My voice was barely a whisper. I reached around and caressed his bare ass with the palm of my hand. “Thank you.”
“I love you, too, Delaine Talbot,” he whispered back. I could feel his heart pounding against my back as his chest rose and fell with his labored breaths. “I can’t imagine ever sharing something so intimate with anyone but you. Thank you for trusting me.”
5
THE RED FLOWER BLOOMS
Noah
Making love to Lanie was the easiest thing in the world to do, because I loved her with everything that I was, or ever would be. But bringing her pain for the sake of my pleasure was torture.
I had wanted it so badly. It was forbidden, and that made it all the more alluring. But when I’d entered her there for the first time and heard her suck in a sharp breath and felt her body stiffen … well, I’d expected it to hurt her at first, but I obviously hadn’t been fully prepared for just how much it would, and I couldn’t do that to her. I had every intention of calling the whole thing off, but then she practically begged me to keep going. It was her plea for me to let her have that moment, that first with me, my first, even though she was receiving nothing but pain in return, that cinched the deal and made me continue on despite my reservations.
I would’ve given her anything she asked for. I would’ve snatched the moon out of the night sky and laid it at her delicate feet, gathered the universe up into a neat little ball and placed it in her tiny hands—anything she wanted. Because she deserved so much more than that, and I would sacrifice my entire life to make sure she fucking had it all.
But I’d never be able to make up for treating her like a whore, for treating her like she was nothing more than a piece of ass that was solely there to satisfy my cravings for pussy, for treating her like she was no more than another toy I’d acquired, a piece of property. For stealing her innocence. How were we ever going to make it when our relationship was born out of the fucking bowels of impure intentions to begin with?
I had to have faith we would, because if what we had was wrong, then I didn’t want to be right. Yeah, it was a corny line, but the words rang undeniably true. See? I was turning into a total bitch for her, pussy-whipped to the extreme.
Let me prove my point …
During the actual deed, I was a nervous wreck. My body shook both from my fear of hurting Lanie and from having to hold back and not plow into her. It felt that good. Not that her pussy didn’t; it was experiencing the forbidden dance with her that was such a turn-on. You only share something like that with someone you trust, someone you plan to spend the rest of your life with, someone with whom you have a sacred motherfucking bond.
What I had walked in on between Julie and David hadn’t been anything like the intimacy of the moment Lanie and I had just experienced together. That was nothing more than two whoremongers fucking for the sake of fucking, for the sake of gutting me and leaving me to bleed out onto the floor. They could search the rest of their pathetic lives and never come close to finding what I had with my Lanie. My Lanie.
We needed it, that level of intimacy, before our separation. And although I knew I needed to remain strong for her, it was killing me on the inside to know she wouldn’t be there when I returned home in the evenings, that she wouldn’t be lying next to me naked in my bed every night, that I wouldn’t see that look in her eyes on a daily basis. That look that said more than a thousand words ever could. That look that said I was her world, just like she was mine. Lips were capable of saying anything, but the eyes never lied. And what I saw there reflected what I felt in every fiber of my being. She loved me. She really loved me. Not my money, not my status. Me. And come hell or high water, I was going to make it fucking work. Somehow.
Delaine moved her ass against me, reminding me that my dick was still inside her, flaccid but becoming more aroused the longer it remained in place, and if she kept moving like that, it was going to be harder and harder to make myself pull out of her. Although I would definitely love to have another round, I knew she was already going to be sore, and I didn’t want to take advantage of her need to give me even more of herself. Her presence in my life was enough, and it was time for me to give her something in return. So before my dick became too en
gorged and hurt her even more, I pulled out … hoping that the quick movement would make it more bearable.
I felt a stabbing sense of guilt pierce my chest when she winced, and my mind immediately went into caregiver mode. I would worship that woman, show her my appreciation and take care of her for a change, just like she took care of everyone else around her, including me.
“I’m sorry, kitten,” I said, rolling her over and gathering her to me. “I’m so fucking sorry I hurt you.”
My girl could’ve sobbed into my chest, could’ve beaten the shit out of me with my permission—she could’ve done anything she wanted or needed in retaliation for the pain I’d inflicted on her. But she didn’t do any of that. Instead, Lanie wedged her thigh between mine, wrapped her arm around my waist to palm my ass, and then attacked my neck.
“Shut up, Noah,” she mumbled between kisses. “You’re overthinking this and killing my buzz. And just so you know, I definitely want to do that again.”
I’d said it before, and I’d say it again: I fucking loved my girl so much it hurt.
She tilted her head back to look up at me, a spark of wicked intent in her eyes. I had definitely created a monster. But I wasn’t an insensitive ass. My girl was hurting, and she was trying to mask her pain so I wouldn’t feel bad about it, which was insane because of course I felt like a douche. How could I not?
I leaned forward and took her succulent lips with mine, deepening the kiss with all the love and adoration I could manifest. It was when I felt myself hardening again that I broke the connection. She would take that as a sign that I wanted her again, which I did. However, her needs were so much more important than mine, and right then, she needed me to take care of her, whether she wanted to admit it or not.
It took a lot for me to do it, but I finally managed to pull away from her and slip out of the bed.
Lanie groaned in protest and reached out to grab my hand. “Noooo. Where are you going?”
I knew exactly how she felt; I couldn’t stand to be away from her for even a second, either. The thought alone made me feel empty inside, and I missed her already. How was I going to tear myself away? My selfish side reared its ugly head temporarily, and I almost asked her not to go. I knew that she’d stay with me if I asked, but I just couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’d already taken too much from her.
“Not far. Never far.” With one last tender kiss, I pulled away, severing our physical connection, but the invisible tether that stretched from the bed where she lay to my heart kept us bound across the distance. I’d never felt anything like it before—so connected, so absorbed in just one person—it was an enigma of which I didn’t want to find the solution.
It gave me hope.
I quickly ran a bath for her, taking care to be sure the water was neither too hot nor too cold. I was thankful to see that Polly had stocked the bathroom with some girly soaps, and I chose one whose label promised a tranquil, soothing calm. It damn well better or I was going to sue the bastards for false advertisement. Only the best for my girl.
I managed to walk back in to her, only because running might make me look like an even bigger bitch than I already was. My cock was at half staff and flopped back and forth on my thighs as I made my way to the bed where she lay. She was ogling the piece of meat as if it were a sausage link hanging in the front window of a butcher’s shop and she were a stray pup looking for its next meal.
“I’m really trying to show some restraint here. You know, be a caring, gentle boyfriend? A real Prince Charming. But if you keep licking your chops like that, the prince might turn into an ogre. And I really don’t think that would be a good idea right now,” I said, pulling the sheets from her naked body and sweeping her up into my arms.
As I walked with her, Lanie put her arms around my shoulders and nuzzled the crook of my neck. “I can take it,” she said, lifting her chin slightly so that her sultry voice ghosted over the shell of my ear. A shiver shot down my spine and straight to my cock, which was not helping matters in the least.
I took a deep breath in and let it out slowly, composing myself. “Somehow I don’t doubt that,” I said, stepping into the bathtub with her weightless body in my arms.
I slowly lowered myself into a sitting position with her resting in my lap. When she started squirming while kissing along the length of my neck and moaning, I knew it was only a matter of time before I’d slip my dick inside her, and that was the last thing she needed at the moment. So I quickly maneuvered her tiny frame so that she sat between my outstretched legs, effectively improving the odds of being able to make it through her bath without fucking her again.
Delaine was turning into a nymphomaniac. I blamed myself for her corruption, but I wanted her to know that what was between us wasn’t just about fucking anymore. I thought back to how upset she’d looked in the car earlier, how unsure she seemed to be that we were going to be okay, given the separation and all. I needed her to know that even though we had to be apart for a little while, the way I felt about her wasn’t going to change. She needed to have faith in me, in us.
“I love you,” I whispered into her ear while wrapping my arms around her waist and hugging her to me. “So fucking much. Do you know that?” Now that those three little words had found their way out of my mouth, I just couldn’t stop saying them.
“I love you, too,” she whispered. Her fingertips caressed my arms beneath the water.
“That’s not what I asked,” I corrected her. “Do you know that I love you? Because if we’re going to have to be apart for any length of time, I need there to be no doubt about how very important you are to me. And if what they say is true about absence making the heart grow fonder and all that other fluffy shit, then the way I feel about you is only going to intensify even more. I won’t let anyone come between us.”
“Are you trying to tell me you’re a closet stalker, Noah?” she joked as she rolled her head to the side, exposing the creamy skin of her neck to me.
“I assure you, I am quite serious,” I said, and then began a trail of kisses along the length of her graceful neck. I stopped when I reached her ear and whispered, “Every moment we’re apart, I will be thinking of you. Every night you aren’t lying in my bed next to me, I will be dreaming of you. Every time I smell fucking bacon,” I went on, referring to the time I’d had my way with her while she cooked my breakfast, “I’ll have a hard-on for you, and I’ll touch myself while calling out your name. I’ll call you with no purpose at all other than to hear your voice. I’ll drop by unannounced just so that I can see your eyes light up when you catch sight of me. And I’ll steal you away just so that I can have a taste. Because I’ll be hungry for you, Lanie. So very hungry.”
She sucked in a breath and then her lips parted slightly, a soft moan spilling forth. Her eyes closed and her legs opened to me as if my words had commanded them to.
“So if you call that stalking, then yeah, I guess I’ll be stalking you.” I moved my hand over her abdomen to the mound that resided below it, and she rolled her hips into my touch, another soft moan escaping her lips.
“I’m a strong believer in the three P’s: proclaim, protect, and provide. I will give you everything you need. Everything,” I said, slipping my fingers inside her while my thumb applied pressure to her sweet spot. “You are mine to take care of. So if I find another guy sniffing around what belongs to me, I’m going to go after him, and I will inflict pain. Are you sure you’re ready for that level of commitment, Delaine?”
“Oh, God. Yes, Noah.” She moaned as I curled my fingers back and forth inside her.
“I am a god, ruler of my world, and you are my world,” I told her, moving my other hand to her breast and manipulating one taut peak. “I can and will give you everything you need to feel good. But I’m a jealous, vengeful god, Lanie.”
She moved a hand between her legs to cover mine as I finger-fucked her, and the other palmed the back of my neck. “I’m … shit … I’m yours, Noah. Just … oh, God … yours.” br />
“Good. I’m glad we agree,” I said, pushing my fingers in further and with more purpose. “Do you want to come?”
She nodded.
“Hmm, I’m not so sure you do,” I said, toying with her. “Beg for it.”
“Please,” she said breathlessly.
“Oh, come on. Surely you can do better than that,” I said, rolling her nipple between my fingertips. “Convince me.”
She arched her back while digging her nails into my neck and pushing down on the hand I had between her legs.
My fingers worked steadfastly, but when her walls began to tighten, I pulled back, halting my efforts. “I don’t think so, kitten. Not until you convince me.”
She whimpered. “Please, Noah. Give it to me. Let me come on your fingers.”
Goddamn, I wanted her. But I needed her release to fill me, sustain me until I could have her again.
“Oh, you will come, Lanie, but not on my fingers.” I released her, only to pick her up and turn her so that her ass was perched on the edge of the stone-tiled wall surrounding the bathtub. A nice, fluffy towel was already there, so she wouldn’t be too uncomfortable, given what I’d just done to her a little while ago.
I was so anxious to give her what she wanted, to taste her, that I wasn’t quite as careful spreading her knees apart to allow me access to her pretty little kitty. But there were no cries of protest, only a cry of pleasure as I buried my face between her thighs and began to lap at her silken folds with the flattened part of my tongue. She fisted her hands in my hair—damn if I didn’t fucking love it when she did that—and then she hooked her legs over my shoulders with her knees falling to the side, giving me full access.
I looked up at her and she was watching me, so I made a big show of letting her see my long, thick tongue work her juicy little clit.
“Fuck,” she whispered, and then bit down on her bottom lip. She lovingly pushed her fingers through the locks of hair on the side of my head. “That feels so unbelievably fantastic. Do you like the way I taste, Noah?”