I wasn’t laughing.
He straightened up. “I’ve been thinking about this a lot. Tony told you that you can shield yourself, hide your glow after feeding and cloak yourself so that you can’t be read. It’s something they do intuitively. But I think it’s something you should be able to teach yourself. Then maybe when you feed, you won’t feel everything so strongly.” He shrugged. “Not that I mind for myself, but since I have to share you, I’ve been thinking about self-meditation techniques that might help.”
”I think I understand. How would it work?”
”After I’d made my first million, I was under quite a bit of stress.”
”You’re first million?” I said.
”Well, yeah.” He at least had the nerve to look sheepish when he said it. “I started to meditate. I even spoke to a guru. He taught me that if you can make your mind blank, then you can build whatever ideas or concepts into it. You said that Tony told you that feeding wasn’t about sex unless you chose it to be.”
”Yeah. But Alexis said that I had more succubae in me than most.”
“What’s a succubae?” Paul asked.
I rolled my eyes and glanced away. “A…sex demon.”
”And Alexis told you this? Is that the scary Elder guy? I don’t see how you could go off with him. He gave me a serious case of the willies.”
He did for me also at first, but not after I’d fed from him. Taking blood did change one’s perspective. So after I’ve fed from someone, I could no longer really trust my thoughts about them. Alexis was a prime example of that.
Paul put his hand on mine until he had my attention. ”You start by keeping your mind blank. Then you build a wall. It has to be white so there is nothing to focus on. Then you concentrate on how everything is blocked from you as long as you’re behind the wall.”
I nodded. “Seems tedious.”
”I’ll help you.”
”After this feeding, I’m getting rid of those girls.”
Paul frowned. “I don’t think that’s a good idea. You’re taking over Johan’s territory. Who knows his business better than they do?”
He had a point.
There was a tapping at the door.
“That’s them.” Paul jumped up and hurried to open the door.
Mei Wah ushered the five ladies into the room. They were dressed as if they were going out to Club Midnight. Shit, I was underdressed. I stood to greet them.
The first was a tall leggy blonde in a dress that ran down to her ankles and a slit that ran up to her ass.
Paul did the introductions. “This is ... Monica, right?”
She smiled and nodded while giving me her manicured hand to shake.
”Nice to meet you Monica.”
Paul turned to me. “Monica was Johan’s personal secretary. Isn’t that right?”
”Yes. It’s nice to meet you, Kim.”
That surprised me. I killed her ... lover, on that I was pretty sure. I mean let’s face it. What other reason would a man have for keeping a harem of beautiful women? If another Vampire kills me, would Paul be so friendly? No, I didn’t think so. He would probably try to kill them. Were they going to kill me? I kept that thought in the back of my mind as I was introduced to the others.
Next was a shorter, dark-haired woman who looked Hispanic. She had a curvaceous body sheathed in a short sparkly tunic dress that was the exact same color as her skin tone so she looked almost nude—but with sparkles.
”And this is Mara. Mara was Johan’s attorney.”
I tried not to look surprised, but I’m sure I failed when Mara gave me a wry smile.
”Johan didn’t just choose us for our looks,” Mara said with a slight accent.
I took her hand. ”That’s good to know.” I felt a little better understanding that I wasn’t only dealing with Johan’s sexual playthings.
The next was a striking woman who appeared Brazilian or of some type of mixed heritage. She wore a strappy loose blouse and no bra. Her loose pants flowed about her shapely form.
”And you are Kat with a K, correct?” Paul was good with names.
Kat took my hand. “Yes. I was Johan’s image consultant.”
I tilted my head. “Image consultant?”
“Yes. I was his masseuse, hair stylist, and fashion coordinator, as well as his interior designer for both his homes as well as his businesses.” She gave me a quick up and down. I could have done the same to her considering how Johan was dressed when he’d died.
The next lady was thin to the point of anorexia. She had dyed black, short, choppy hair and skin almost as white as a Vampire’s. Her too large eyes were heavily outlined. She was beautiful in a waif-like way.
”Tyler here handled Johan’s finances.”
Tyler wouldn’t meet my eyes, and I noticed that she had been crying. I thought I might like her. She at least reacted in some human way to me.
She reached out her hand and shook mine. “Hello.” She spoke in a hoarse voice.
”Last but certainly not least is Karen.” He looked at her for confirmation, and she nodded.
Karen was the only Black woman. She was petite and ebony brown with long black hair that ran past her shoulders. It looked like her own and not a weave. She was dressed in a nice black suit with a sequined blouse. Her skirt was cut way above the knee, and she had on heels that would have caused me to break both ankles, my shins, and my knees!
”I’m ... or ... I was Johan’s International Affairs Coordinator.”
”Karen speaks five languages fluently.”
Karen looked awfully young to know how to speak so many languages. I would not have guessed her age at more than twenty-three.
”Nice to meet you, Karen.” After a brief moment I turned my back to them and walked away.
”What?” Paul thought.
”I want to know why they’re here? Everybody except Tyler looks like they could give a shit!” I turned back around.
”Ladies,” Paul said, rubbing his stubbly chin. ”We don’t understand why you seem so neutral in your emotions.” He glanced at me. “Kim and I have a very strong link, and we’ve only been together a few days.”
Karen crossed her arms in front of her. “We’re here because we need the rush.”
I examined each of them. “But how do you feel about me being the one who took your ... lover’s life?”
Karen glanced at Tyler. “Fuck Johan.”
Kat and Monica looked terrified. Tyler had silent tears slide down her face. Karen put a protective arm around her.
I felt so bad for Tyler. “I’m really sorry. It really wasn’t my intention to hurt anybody, but I had to save myself.”
Tyler looked at me for the first time. “Thank you. Thank you for killing him.”
Paul and I glanced at each other.
“He was a sadistic bastard,” Monica said.
Mara had tears in her eyes now, too. “He was unnecessarily cruel.”
”You mean that Vampires can take human donors and mistreat them and nobody’s accountable for it?” I was shocked.
”No,” Karen said. “If a Vampire mistreats a human, then that human is supposed to be able to report back to the territorial leader ... which was Johan. Since he was a Council member, we really had no recourse.”
”Damn,” I said.
”That’s another reason that it’s important for you to take control,” Karen said. “There are a number of things that are not right within his territory. So far, though,”—Karen smiled—“you’ve already killed two of them.”
Each of the ladies nodded. Tony made it seem so benign. I was outraged that humans were being mistreated by Vampires!
”She’s not angry with you,” Paul said.
”No, not at you,” I said, being careful to calm my features. I must have gone all hissy- faced. “Look,” I said, “I need to feed. Now. But I’ll never force you to do anything for me. I’m not the boss of you. We work together. If you agree to be my willing donors, then we nee
d to make some things very clear.”
“We want to continue being donors,” Tyler said. “You have no reason to take us. We’re ... used. But we can help you.”
”We can be invaluable to you,” Mara said. “I’ve already begun the process of liquidating Johan’s assets, and I’ve changed his accounts at Paul’s request to prepare for your transition.”
I cut my eyes at Paul.
”Later,” he promised.
“I’ve prepared the necessary documents for you to take over as the rightful owner of whatever used to be his,” Monica said.
”And you believe that his assets are rightfully mine? What about you?” If they’d been through the hell that I suspected, then what right did I have to step in and take this monster’s money? They had served their time with him, not me.
Tyler shook her head. “We are all financially secure.”
I couldn’t hide my surprise. “And yet you’ve stayed with Johan.”
Karen gave me a dry look. I was stepping on her toes, but I didn’t understand. “You look at me and see a girl of twenty. I’m actually forty-seven. When I stop giving the blood, I will begin to age at a normal pace again. I don’t want that. We want the blood exchange.”
Okay. Junkies in the house. I didn’t like it one bit. But they were obviously able to make their own decisions about whether or not to leave their abuser. Who was I to criticize?
Tyler took a tentative step forward then offered me her neck.
My focus was on her neck, and nothing else mattered.
”Uh ... yeah. Just let’s make some things clear.” I couldn’t take my eyes from the sleek neck that was before me. “I’m about to suck your neck. But I’m not gay or bi. There might be some ... sexuality to it.” I cleared my throat and looked at something else, anything else. “But it’s not about sex, okay? I don’t want that from you.”
I looked at them. They seemed not to know what I was talking about. Fuck. I was rambling then. With a sigh I reluctantly closed the space between Tyler and me.
”Remember, mind blank.” Paul thought.
I took Tyler’s shoulders and placed my mouth on her neck. I watched Paul as my tongue sought her pulse. She was thin, but her pulse was super strong. I sank my teeth in, and she didn’t even flinch. Her blood squirted into my mouth with an alarmingly strong force.
”Paul, she’s bleeding so fast!”
Paul looked at the others. “Her blood flows faster?”
I heard Karen speak. “It is Johan’s wish that we take blood thinners ... and other things to make the blood flow freely.”
I sealed the wound with my tongue and pulled back in less than a minute.
Tyler staggered backwards, but Paul caught her.
”Damn,” Tyler said. She blinked at me. “You are fucking amazing.”
The others looked at her.
“She’s like ... coke or something.” Tyler closed her eyes.
I could feel her blood coursing through my veins and revitalizing me. “It’s different with me?”
”I’ve only fed Johan, but yes,” Tyler said. “Ask one of the others. They’ve been shared.”
Monica stepped forward. She swept her blonde hair to the side and offered me her neck.
She was bigger boobed than Tyler was, so we touched, but there was no sexual sensation ... yet. I looked at Paul as I placed my lips on her neck and bit. The blood came fast again and I thought, Shit, she spent a fortune on this dress. I didn’t want to ruin it with even a drop of blood.
I felt myself become even more revived. I didn’t realize that I had my arms wrapped around Monica with her arms wrapped around me until I felt Paul thinking.
”Easy. Blank mind.”
Oh yeah, yeah, It was hard to tear my attention away from the delicious rush of flavors running down my throat. I was gulping the food it was coming so fast. My body was growing hot, and I could feel my hands tremble as they grasped Monica’s hair.
”It’s good when it’s fast,” I thought.
”Kim. Think about a wall.”
”Huh?”
”A wall. Picture it. The wall is white, remember?”
I tried to picture this white wall that Paul was describing.
”If you look to the right the wall goes as far as the eye can see. If you turn to the left the wall seems to go on forever. You are on one side of the wall, and Monica is on the other.”
”I’m touching her ...”
”No, not in your mind, because if you could see through the wall you’d see that you’re not touching her. The wall won’t allow you to. It’s too solid.”
”It tastes so good.“
”Kim! The wall is as tall as the sky is high, and you can’t dig under it either. You can’t reach Monica.”
I felt dizzy because I could actually see the wall Paul described as if it were really there! I knew I was feeding from Monica, but metaphysically she was separated from me.
”Stop, Kim.” Paul said aloud.
I think it was aloud.
With an effort I pressed the tip of my tongue over the wounds in her neck until the blood stopped coming.
I looked at Paul as I released her. He helped Monica to sit on the cushions. I had taken much more from her, and her eyes looked glazed.
”How are you holding up?” he asked.
”I think it’s working. I feel a little ...” I couldn’t describe it. Not horny but excited, but not anything like what usually happened. Of course I was cutting the feedings down to only a minute or two.
Karen came to me anxiously. She took off her jacket and draped it carefully over the chaise. She swept her hair over her shoulder and closed her eyes.
Because I was already feeling heated, I pictured the wall even before I touched her. In my mind Karen placed her hand on one side of the wall. I placed my hands on the other. We both pushed against it, but it wouldn’t budge.
I lowered my head and fed. Now it wasn’t about satisfying my hunger. Now I fed to fill myself. I tried to picture the white wall once again, but when I closed my eyes all I could see was red. It was her blood behind my eyelids. The red became an ocean, and I saw myself swimming in it. Swimming.
”Careful. You need to stop.”
”Okay ...”
It was definitely hard to stop. I opened my eyes and concentrated on Paul, but he was wavering in and out of my vision.
“Remember to seal the bite. She could bleed out.”
I staggered away blindly. I could see little particles floating in the air, but everything else was blurry. Eventually I could make out objects from a distance with crystal clarity.
I felt Paul’s hands grasp my arm. He led me to the cushions.
“I’m getting a head rush,” I said. “Too much too fast.”
Karen was grabbing at me. “No, don’t stop. Please.”
Paul gently pushed her hand away from me. ”No. No more.”
”What about me?” Mara said. “She hasn’t fed from me yet. Please?“
I reached out for her, and she hurried to me. She knelt on the floor in front of the cushion I was reclining against.
”Kim, don’t,“ Paul warned.
”Just a little. I promise.”
”You don’t look like yourself,” Paul said. “I’m worried about you …”
”I’m doing good,” I said. “I don’t want to screw the food.”
I saw him smile at me.
I bit down on Mara’s neck. When her blood rushed down my throat I blacked out.
CHAPTER 12
I heard myself gasp.
I sat up with a jolt and opened my eyes. Never before had I risen from sleep as if I had been literally brought back from the dead. Never before had I felt as if I had been dead.
This time I did.
Paul clutched my hand. He was staring at me, and I had the feeling that he had been staring at me like that for hours.
For once I didn’t forget what I was, but I was still confused because I didn’t know where I was.
/>
We weren’t in the harem room of Tony’s house. I looked around. This wasn’t Tony’s house at all.
Paul gently pulled me into his arms and hugged me tightly. I hugged him back, resting my head on his shoulder and allowing my eyes to roam the room. If Paul was here, then I had to be safe.
The room I was in was a huge bedroom. There were dark hardwood floors mostly hidden by an oversized rug. The walls were painted a comfortable coral, and deep gold drapes covered the windows. I was in a huge four-poster bed sheathed on two sides by material that matched the curtains.
Across the room was a fireplace burning and a settee adjacent to it. It all looked comfortable, but how did I get here? Where was Mara? And why was Paul hugging me?
He pulled back from me. “You’ve been out for two days.”
I touched my neck. I was wearing different clothes, cotton pajama bottoms and a cotton chemise. I touched Paul’s face. He had a full beard and mustache. ”Where’s Mara?”
He paused. “The hospital. But she’s going to be okay.”
Oh no. I jumped out of bed. “What happened?!”
“You passed out while you were feeding,” Paul said. “She bled out. Those damned blood thinners is what almost killed her. We could barely get the bleeding to stop. We got her to the hospital, and she’s going to be okay.”
I passed out ...”Why? And how did you explain the bite marks to the authorities?”
”We didn’t. Mei Wah called Tony, and he made the doctor’s not ask.”
”Tony? Where’s he at?” I felt a sudden cinching in my belly.
”I don’t know,” Paul said. He stood and walked to the fireplace. ”Tony fed from Tyler. She’s on drugs. They all are.”
I cocked my head at him. “They were?”
Paul nodded. “It’s not their fault. Johan’s been feeding them some shit for years. Tony knows what it is, but it’s not something that affects humans. Only Vampires.”
“They couldn’t have said something?” I asked, sitting on the bed.
”They didn’t understand. Johan possessed them, and they did whatever he demanded.” He shook his head. “I have to go.” He stalked across the room.
”Paul, where are you going?”
He stopped. ”I need to think.”