He had done this for me? “Tige…I don’t know what to say.” I squeezed his hand. Thank you for turning me into the undead seemed a little on the sarcastic side. But I was thankful that he had tried to return some semblance of life to me.
”I checked in on you,” Tige said. “When I linked with you briefly, you seemed to be doing well, well enough to shop at the Home Depot.”
When I had felt something at Home Depot, it had been Tige!
“I’ve never met a Vampire who went shopping the day after being turned,” Tige said. “When I had been turned, I awoke bound. Tony wasn’t taking any chances. He had awakened with a murderous bloodlust. Sometimes you take on the characteristics of the one who turns you.” He stroked my cheek again, and I closed my eyes wanting to purr like a kitten. ”I know I owe you. I brought this living death on you.”
”Tige, how can you say that? You exchanged your life for mine. Is there any way for you to get out of this?”
He shook his head. “And don’t ask Tony to break the rules. Then he will forfeit his life. This is the way it has to be.”
I touched his face this time. “This is my fault.”
He shook his head. “No. I chose you. You didn’t choose me.”
My legs were getting tired so I sat on the floor and brought my knees up to rest my chin on them. ”Is there something I can do for you?”
”I’m happy you came.” He smiled at me, and I knew that it was true.
”What about your personal affairs? Can I—“
”Tony will handle that,” Tige interrupted. He took my hand. “You have questions. Don’t be afraid to ask them. I will try my best to help you if I can.”
I closed my eyes. I felt so sad. How could I feel this way for this strange man who I barely remember meeting? I did have some more questions of a personal nature, but I couldn’t put aside the desire to slide onto his lap and hug him. I didn’t even know this man. My life was a mess because of him. And yet I knew that I loved him deeply and wanted nothing but his safety.
”I’m going to go to Alexis to see if there is a way to stop this insanity,“ I said.
”Alexis?” He raised his eyebrow.
I told him briefly about my relationship with Alexis. Tige frowned.
”What?” I asked.
”Having a close personal relationship with an Elder is a double-edged sword.”
Alexis had implied the same thing. “Why?”
”Alexis was a human for thirty years,” Tige said. “Not much more than that. He’s been Neratomay for twelve hundred years. I don’t think he’s capable of understanding human emotions anymore. Alexis is moved by nothing more than what amuses him. You having his attention only means that you will be his plaything when he desires it.”
I let my mind remember the way Alexis had held my face in the palms of his hands ... ”Plaything? What do you mean?”
”His pet. He has had a number of pets.”
You can be my pet ... What the fuck did that mean? He’d also said that I could be his lover, but he was trying to figure things out in his head.
I understood Tige’s words but felt they didn’t match Alexis’. I didn’t want to know about this pet thing, and I didn’t want to understand my feelings for the elder Vampire or our connection. Alexis would have answers, and answers were what I needed. I was going to Alexis, and nothing was going to steer me from that idea.
”I’ve asked Tony to protect you,” Tige said.
I felt something stir in my tired soul.
”Now I’m going to ask you to protect Tony.”
”Me protect him?”
”You’re stronger than you think,” Tige said.
I looked at him doubtfully. I was barely keeping one step ahead of the rest of the Vampires. ”Tige, there is something. “I’m different.”
He nodded. “More human. Yes. It does happen. And Tony told me about the holy words and implements. That’s rare, but even that happens with Thirds. You are a Master now. Your talents will be useful, but don’t depend on them alone.”
It was almost overwhelming all the power that I now possessed. I plunged forward before I freaked with the idea of it. “It’s not just that. Alexis said that I am succubae. My bites cause a physical desire. I thought that maybe you would understand since you made me.”
He nodded. “When Nera ... Vampires bite, they automatically bring a euphoria. But it’s considered poor class to bring on lust in a donor unless its seduction or by mutual consent ...” He frowned. “For me it’s always been different. I have to make a conscious effort not to bring lust to my donor ... as well as to myself.”
I sighed in relief. I wasn’t the only one.
”It restricts me to take feedings from the opposite sex,” Tige said, “but it can be done, with practice. Even so, there is always a bit of an arousal. And because I become aroused, I try to make it ... satisfying for my donor.”
I nodded. “It was. Even though you didn’t touch me, I felt like I had experienced a really great—“I closed my mouth. This was starting to feel like talking about sex education class with my dad.
”I’m sorry that I didn’t get to teach you more,” Tige said. “It should have been weeks of us together. You were supposed to feed from me until you could control the hunger. You didn’t hurt anyone, did you?”
I told him about Mara.
”I would not have allowed you a human donor so soon, but then I’m more cautious ... at least I was. I was the first one Tony turned. Tony isn’t taking my punishment easily.”
”How will it be done?” I didn’t really want to know, but I had to know.
”Tony will make it quick. I will be taken into the sun while I sleep.” He smiled at me. “I hope that I have a few moments to recognize the sun. I’m from the Islands, and the sun is like a long-lost friend to me. I went home to visit my family, my children’s children. I said that I was their cousin far removed. But they were my children.” He shook his head. “You look sad, and I know this is hard for you because we are linked. Links are incredibly powerful things. But remember, despite how you feel because of this link, in the end I am just a stranger who took away your life. Right now I am at peace with my punishment.”
I stood. Tige had kids. When he stood, I hugged him.
I could not read his mind while in this room, but when I held Tige, I felt all that he had been trying to hide. Because Tige was in me and I was in Tige, I could clearly feel his terror. He had hidden it well, but now that I knew it was there, I had no choice but to try to save him.
I kissed him on the lips and opened the door, closing it firmly behind me as I stood in the hall. “Let me out,” I said.
The door opened, and I looked up at Tony. I could clearly see the look of concern on his face. He was in me too, as I was in him. They all were, and if I looked I could see what was truly right in front of me …
Tony placed his arm around me and led us out of the hall, and once we were past the silver door, my head cleared and the air felt cooler. It was so odd. I didn’t need to breathe, but I felt as if I had been suffocating.
Tony put both arms around me, and I welcomed it. I held on to him and we whirled into motion. When the sickening motion ended, we were standing in my new bedroom in front of right before the fireplace. Tony still held me in his arms, and I continued to welcome it. Paul, who sat on the chaise inches from us, leaped to his.
”Kim!” Paul glanced at Tony, a slight frown on his face. “What’s wrong?”
I looked at one and then the other. Damn. Could they be any more different?
”They found Tige,” I said. “I had to go see him.”
“Are you okay?” Paul asked.
I moved out of Tony’s arms before answering because I didn’t know what Tony’s reaction would be to what I was going to say next. I also didn’t think Paul needed to be hit in the head with such intimacy. ”He is to be put to death,” I said, “and I intend to speak to Alexis on his behalf.”
Tony blew up as I
suspected he would. He wouldn’t hurt me—I didn’t think he would—but Paul stepped in front of me anyway.
”Alexis?” Tony cried. “What makes you think Alexis can break the rules any more than I can? You’ll put Alexis in a position to get his head chopped off? It can’t be done, Kim. You cannot save Tige!”
”It can’t hurt to ask,” I said from my place behind Paul’s back.
”Yeah.” Tony glared at me. “It can. Alexis is a dangerous creature. You think just because you gave him his first hard-on in decades that he’s going to change all of the rules for the entire Vampire nation?”
Paul glanced at me from over his shoulder with a little O of surprise. He clamped his lips together and turned his attention back to Tony.
My cheeks felt warm in embarrassment. Will I always have that thrown up in my face?
”Look,” I snapped. “That man is going to die, and it’s because he saved my life.” I shook my head. “The least I can do is try. You have to know that I can’t turn my back on the Vampire that … fathered me!”
“Sired you,” Tony said. “Tige is your sire, and the bond between sire and progeny is strong.”
I saw the muscles in his jaw clench. Yes, Tige was his child, just as Tige was my Sire.
His expression became unreadable. “Tomorrow,” he said. “I’ll set up a meeting with Alexis for tomorrow.” He started walking and vanished.
I needed to learn how to do that. It looked really cool.
Paul exhaled. “I’d like to go with you tomorrow when you meet with Alexis.”
”I don’t think that’s a good idea. Tony and Alexis got into a fight the last time. Alexis turned into some type of wolf-man. It got scary.”
Paul rubbed his hair. “Is this going to ever end?”
I knew exactly how he was feeling. I was frustrated, too.
I was tempted to hug him, but it was hard to forget him and Amanda getting buck wild only a few hours ago. ”I don’t know.”
”Have you eaten?”
I shook my head. I had no desire to feed. “I’m not hungry.”
”Kim, you shouldn’t wait until you’re starving.”
I sighed. “I can’t feed from the girls. They still have drugs in their system. And you ... a full week, Mei Wah said.”
He rolled his eyes. “I don’t think we need to wait that long.”
I ignored him and eyed the room. “What are we going to do about decorating this place?”
Paul took my hand. “Kat is the decorator, not me.” He tried to look into my eyes, but I looked away. ”What are you doing?”
”I’m a Vampire.” I said, grasping at something to say while I looked across the room. “Don’t look into my eyes. Something might happen.”
I didn’t want him to see the hurt in my eyes. I didn’t want him to know what I had seen.
I heard him chuckle. “I don’t have to look into your eyes for something to happen, Kim.”
His voice had taken a decidedly suggestive tone. I turned to look at him, and I wasn’t as understanding as before. “I think you’ve had enough for the night. Don’t you?”
He froze. “What do you mean?”
I gently pulled my hand out of his grasp and sat on my bed to pull off my shoes. “I asked you before if you wanted me to bite Amanda. I’ll ask you again. Do you want me to bite her?”
Paul blinked. “I—no.” He put his hands in his pockets and looked at the floor. I could see that he was embarrassed and ashamed. I’d seen him fucking his ex-girlfriend, and now he knew that I’d seen.
I stood and walked to him, but he wouldn’t look at me. I put my hand on his arm until he met my eyes and I could feel his shame. I wasn’t his girlfriend, but he felt as if he had let me down.
”Paul, I’m confused about us, too. This is all so new. I mean, I don’t know if it’s because I’m half the time scared and you always have my back ... or what it is between us. What I do know is that your friendship is important to me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
Paul reached out and held my face in his palms. ”I cannot stop thinking about the other night and how good you felt against me.”
His words were a breathless moan that sent a shiver down my spine.
“I made you come,” Paul said. “And it wasn’t just the bite. Even before your teeth dropped, we both felt it. Kim, I know you feel what I feel.”
What was I supposed to say? That I was on my way to profess my love when I saw you with another woman? I couldn’t leave him with that.
His eyes stared into mine, and they looked almost haunted. ”But Tony makes your knees weak ...”
I put my hands over his, my head shaking. “No, Paul.“
A loud pounding noise from the front room caused us both to jump.
”What the?” Paul hurried into the main room with me following close behind. Someone was beating on the front door so hard I feared they’d break it down! Who or what could be making so much noise?
It I was the one with the superhuman strength, so why was Paul in the lead? I should be the one protecting Paul, not the other way around. I used my Vampire speed to get to the door two seconds before he did.
Paul called out a warning as I swung the door open. In hindsight, it would have been wise to look out the peephole before opening it, but I was so intent on protecting Paul that I didn’t think until it was too late.
Nothing could have prepared me for what was standing on my doorstep.
It was Amanda, Paul’s girlfriend.
I recognized her immediately even though I had only seen a bit of short, blonde hair and the narrow curve of her back and behind as she rode the man whom I thought I might have fallen for.
She glared past me at Paul.
Amanda was everything I would expect Paul to go for in a woman—petite, tanned, blonde-haired, and blue-eyed. She would have been beautiful if it weren’t for her narrowed eyes and tight face.
I decided that I was going to give her a suggestion that would calm her make her forget how to find this house!
While I was trying to think of a nice way to suggest this, Amanda swung around and slapped the hell out of me.
”Amanda!” Paul rushed past me, scooped up Amanda by her waist, and carried her outside and down the porch stairs. She was screaming, kicking, and cursing all the way, shouting, “But we were just making love! You were just with me! And then you go to her! He was fucking me a few hours ago! Me!”
I have never been smacked in the face before. Needless to say, I’ve never been smacked in the face by the girlfriend of a man I wanted. I put my hand on my cheek. It stung like a slap does, but what shocked me is that I couldn’t stop thinking how right she was. If I hadn’t poisoned Paul’s blood with my bites, he’d be with Amanda. What she was going through was my fault! What he was going through was.my fault!
I turned and saw Monica on the stairs. “I’m ... going to Tony’s.” I started walking and made myself disappear in mid-stride. Did it look as cool as when Tony did it? Only Monica knew.
I could not stand the idea of being surprised twice in one night, so instead of materializing inside Tony’s house, I materialized on the front stoop. Can you imagine how thoroughly fucked up it would be if I popped in on Tony screwing Kaniji or someone else? I don’t think I could take seeing something like that!
I didn’t want to ring the bell and disturb Mei Wah, but I couldn’t just stand out there thinking about it either. While I debated what to do, the door swung open.
Tony stood in the doorway with his shirt unbuttoned.
”Uh ... hi,” I said.
”What are you doing standing at my front door minutes before dawn?”
”I didn’t know if you were still mad, so I didn’t want to just come inside.”
He sighed and put his hand on my wrist, and we both materialized inside of his suite of rooms.
He released his grip. ”What’s wrong?”
”I ... uh.” I felt stupid. “Do you mind if I stay here tonight?”
/>
He raised both eyebrows. He took off his shirt and tossed it on the back of his chair. ”Kim, you never need an invitation into my home. I told you before to make yourself at home here.” He glanced at me and sat to remove his shoes and socks. “When I don’t want you here, you won’t have to wonder, I’ll tell you straight out. Look, I realize that I’ve not always shown you my best side, but I hope you know that I really do care about you.” He began to unzip his pants.
I opened my mouth to tell him that I wasn’t inviting myself into his bed, but ... Oh wow, his abs! They made all thoughts freeze.
He walked to me, put his arms around my waist, and drew me to him. “You know how I feel about you.”
I wanted to protest because we have been back and forth at each other’s throat for the last few days, but then ... who was I kidding? I knew that Tony wanted me. I had always felt it, even when he was pissed.
”Yes,” I whispered.
He watched me, waiting.
No! I couldn’t do this right now, not so soon after Paul. My head ached with all the things I’ve been trying to cram into it!
Mmm, but the feel of his taut muscles as he held me was hard to dismiss. Why did I have to decide? Why couldn’t I just sink into his arms?
”Well.” I watched his eyes closely. “I want you, too, Tony. But I think you know that.”
He spread his fingers on my hips and pulled me closer to him. ”How do you want me?” he murmured, his voice husky.
I licked my lips. “How do you want me?”
His eyelids lowered. “I can show you better than I can tell you.”
His big hands cupped my ass, and he lifted me effortlessly. I found myself gripping him around his neck and wrapping my legs around his waist. My stomach did a somersault, and I shook at the feel of his hard muscles beneath me. Yes, I was turned on, but for the first time it had nothing to do with blood. I wasn’t thinking about feeding. I was feeling this man completely.
He walked us to his bed and lowered me gently onto my back. Instead of covering me, he knelt on the floor beside me. ”I want you so bad right now. But I don’t think I’ve made it clear that not only do I want you with me—I want to be with you. I want to make sure that you understand. I’m not just talking physically. Kim, I want us to be mates.”