We start unpacking and putting my side of the room together. Once the bed is made, pictures of Kason and I are hung above the built-in desk, and my clothes are put away in the closet, the door opens.
“Aaaah!” a perky redhead squeals as she bounces on her feet with her arms outstretched. “I was wondering when my roomie would get here.” She gives me an equally bouncy hug, making me laugh out at her enthusiasm. When she pulls away, she says with a big smile, “I’m Lana.”
“Ady. And this my mom, Cheryl.”
“Nice to meet you, Lana.”
From over Lana’s shoulder, I see Kason step into the doorway. “You’re here!” I run and leap into his arms.
“Took me forever to find a parking spot. This place is crazy.”
“Well, now that I’m outnumbered, I’ll take that as my cue to leave.”
“Mom, you don’t have to go.”
She picks up her purse and, with a forced smile I see right through, she walks over to me and gives me a hug. “It’s okay. I’ll get out of your hair and let you settle in.”
Her eyes begin to water, and she quickly slips her sunglasses on.
“Mom.”
“Remember, you’re my favorite,” she says tenderly before feigning a shred of sass when she adds, “Don’t you dare forget about me.”
“You’re insane, you know that?”
She gives my forehead a peck and, with fake composure, turns to Kason, saying, “I’ll see you in the office tomorrow.”
“Yes, boss,” he says teasingly, which cracks a tiny smile on her lips before she ducks her head and walks out.
“So,” Lana says, dragging out the word. “Who’s this?”
“Oh, sorry. This is my boyfriend, Kason. Kason, this is Lana, my roommate.”
The two of them shake hands. “Have you moved in yet?”
“I live off campus,” he tells her.
“Nice!” she says as she walks over to her bed, which is covered in bright, colorful pillows that are about as vibrant as she is. “Are you coming out with us tonight?”
Kason raises his brows at me, and I shrug.
“It’s legacy night, and I so happen to be a Chi-O legacy! Since you’re my roommate, it’s practically a requirement that we go to our first party together.”
“I’m out on this one,” Kason tells her before turning to me. “You heard your mom. I have to be in the office early in the morning to sit in on a strategy meeting.”
“Maybe next time,” I tell Lana.
“Uh-uh. No way. You’re totally going.”
“She’s right. You should go out and have fun.”
“See! Even your boyfriend agrees.”
“Are you sure?” I ask Kason, and he nods.
“Perfect!” Lana announces. “Now that we’ve settled that, what do you say we grab some lunch? I’m starved.”
The three of us head over to the Student Center and grab a few sandwiches. As we eat, Lana tells us all about Sarasota, which is where she was born and raised, and that she’s the oldest of four sisters. She talks about her family, and the more I get to know her, the more I like her. It’s been too long since I’ve had another girl to hang out with that didn’t have some sort of jealousy and dislike for me. But we’re not in high school anymore. Right now, it’s just Kason, Lana, and me—no labels.
I turn to Kason and give his leg a squeeze from under the table. He’s being his usual quiet self whenever he’s around someone new. The same way he used to be with me in the beginning. Not quick to open himself up to anyone, he sits back and lets Lana and I talk and get to know each other.
After lunch, we walk through campus back toward the dorms, and I can tell by the death grip Kason has around my hand that he’s in need of some alone time. With no more privacy with my new living situation, I tell Lana that I’ll catch up with her later.
“Eight o’clock,” she says. “You’ll have to help me pick out the perfect outfit.”
“Eight o’clock,” I confirm before Kason and I head to his car to go back to his apartment, knowing his mom will be at work for the next few hours.
For the most part, sex with Kason has come effortlessly, although there are still times when he is so stuck in his own head that he can’t get an erection. I don’t take it personally anymore, understanding now that it has nothing to do with me. On the flip side, I know it still really affects him, and for that, I do my best to be supportive.
I try to always make myself available to him, but there have been times when it’s become too painful for me to have sex because of how often we’re intimate. After we came back from the Bahamas, I was riding the high of finally being able to be that close with him that we’d find ourselves having sex multiple times a day, but it started to become too much. Knowing he craves it that often, I was scared to turn him away, so I stayed silent. That is, until we made love one time and he found streaks of blood on the sheets afterward.
I finally had to tell him about the amount of pain I was experiencing during sex and how sore I had become. He felt so much guilt and really beat himself up about it. I did everything I could to ease his worries.
From that moment on, he made me promise to communicate with him about how I’m feeling both physically and emotionally. So, when he slides the condom on and asks, “Do I need to use lube?” I tell him, “Yes.”
We make love, and he takes it slow to make it last as long as possible, but I know it isn’t enough, and I wind up giving him a blow job later before he drives me back to the dorms.
“Call me if you need me, okay?”
“I will,” I assure.
“I’m serious. If you’re ready to leave and she doesn’t want to, call me and I’ll drive you back to the dorms. I don’t want you walking around by yourself.”
With one last kiss, I tell him, “I promise,” before hopping out of his car.
“What about this one?”
I shake my head at the slinky black dress Lana is holding up. “It seems a little . . .”
“Slutty?” she answers for me. “It’s okay. You can say it.”
Her bluntness makes me laugh. “Well, I didn’t want to offend you.”
“Are you kidding? I’d be more offended if you let me walk out of here looking like an easy piece of ass.” She hangs the dress back in the closet and starts rummaging through the hangers. “Speaking of ass, you scored in the boyfriend department. How long have you two been together?”
“A little over a year.”
“Is he always so quiet?”
“At first,” I tell her as I sit on my bed and brush on a touch of mascara.
“Well, he seems nice.” She then pulls out a pair of black shorts and a silky green top. “Better?”
I give her an approving nod. “Much.”
My cell vibrates when I toss the mascara back into my makeup bag.
Micah: Miami misses you.
Me: How can it miss something it never had?
I walk over to the closet and pull out a similar outfit to Lana’s, and after I change, I pick up the phone to find another text waiting for me.
Micah: Exactly. You should be here!
I hated saying goodbye to Micah a few weeks back when he moved. It’s weird not having him around after spending so much time together. Without him, and the fact that Kason has been working so many hours, I’ve had to fend for myself in the barracks of boredom. And even though Micah and I text and talk on the phone, it isn’t the same as having him here. I look over to Lana, who’s rifling through the obscene number of shoes she has, trying to pick out the perfect pair, and I smile. It’s the thought that maybe my mother was right when she said these could be the best years of my life that thrums excitement inside of me. Yes, change is tough, but I met Lana, who, with her perkiness, could ease this whole transition for me.
Me: You’d be proud. I’m going out to a party tonight.
Micah: With who?
Me: A feisty redhead Trent would lose his mind over!
Micah:
Is this your new roommate?
Me: Yeah.
Micah: Have fun, Guppy. Miss you.
Me: Miss you, too.
“By the way, you never told me if you were rushing or not.”
“Honestly, I never really thought about it until today when some guy mentioned it.”
Lana straps on a pair of wedges. “You mean one of those hottie frat boys that were helping everyone with their boxes?”
“Yeah. One of those guys.”
“Did you catch his name?”
“I think it was Liam. Said he was a Kappa Sig.”
She stands and smooths her hands over the fabric of her top. “How do I look?”
“Perfect,” I tell her before slipping my feet into a pair of strappy sandals. After pulling my long blonde hair into a ponytail, I slip my cell phone into my back pocket. “You ready?”
“No purse?”
“Never been a purse girl.”
“We’re going to have to change that,” she snickers as we head out.
Leaving Beta Hall, we decide to walk over to the Greek Village instead of trying to fight for parking. When we arrive, the whole village is packed with people.
Lana grabs my hand, and her face lights up. “This is going to be so much fun. Come on! Let’s find the Chi-O house.”
I keep up with her as we weave through people crowding the busy sidewalks that lead to the house. Standing out front are a couple of girls wearing T-shirts that proudly display their Greek letters, and they smile and wave us inside. Lana goes off to do her thing while I roam aimlessly around the first floor. I take in the small clumps of girls that are scattered about, wearing their bright sorority shirts, dark tans, and social standing with pride. I’m approached by an uppity blonde.
“Welcome.” She’s much too chipper. “Are you a Chi-O legacy?”
“No. I’m here with a friend who is, though.”
She continues to chat, asking me if I’m rushing, if I’ve declared a major, and blah, blah, blah. Her questions come at rapid-fire pace, and I quickly excuse myself. Stepping back outside, I take a seat on a small bench and people watch as I wait for Lana. I start questioning what it is I’m doing here, feeling as if I’m in a completely different world rather than a place that’s only thirty minutes away from my house. The thought reminds me to text my mom.
Me: Lana dragged me out to a Greek thing tonight. I doubt I’ll be out very long. Love you.
“Ady?”
I look up to see the familiar face of the guy who helped me with all my boxes from earlier.
“What are you doing sitting out here by yourself?”
I tuck my cell back into my pocket. “I’m waiting for my friend.”
“In there?” he asks, motioning to the sorority house.
“Yeah.”
“You’re going to be waiting all night. Those chicks run their mouths like talking is going out of style.”
I smile and nod to the large piece of luggage he’s holding on to. “You doing your own moving?”
“Nah. Just a few party snacks, that’s all.”
“In a suitcase?”
He chuckles. “You know how it goes.”
I shake my head, clueless as to what he means, and he smiles. “Come on. You don’t want to spend your night sitting out here, do you?”
“I should really wait for my friend.”
“You mean the one who’s apparently ditched you?”
I look over my shoulder at the Chi-O house to find its door is still wide open but Lana isn’t anywhere in sight, and then I relent, “Okay. Only for a little bit.”
I fall into step beside him as he wheels the suitcase between us. The noise grows louder as we get closer to the Kappa Sig house. Music blasts through the wide-open door, and when we step inside, Liam is greeted with a rumbling of loud cheers.
“Is this the typical reaction when you walk into a room?” I shout in jest over the chaos, which is far louder than the last house I was just in.
“Like I said, I have the party snacks.”
I follow him into the kitchen, where he picks up the suitcase and drops it onto the counter.
“It’s about time,” a random guy says when he walks over.
Liam unzips the bag to reveal a slew of glass bottles.
“Fuck yeah, man,” another one says as he high fives Liam.
They all start grabbing at the various bottles of booze, and when Liam unscrews the cap off a vodka bottle and pours a little in a red plastic cup, I decline.
“You sure?” he asks, and when I tell him I’m sure, he downs it himself.
A hand slips over my shoulder, and when I turn around, I come face to face with Kason’s friend, Rhett.
“What are you doing here?”
“I was going to ask you the same thing,” he says.
“I didn’t know this was where you were going to school.”
“Where’s Kason?”
“At home. He has to work in the morning.”
“I can barely hear you.” He tips his head toward the living room.
“I’ll be right back,” I tell Liam, and he gives me a nod before I follow Rhett over to a small sofa sitting in the corner of the room.
“Who are you here with?”
“My dormmate dragged me out.”
“Beta Hall?” he asks.
“Yeah.”
“Me, too.”
“Mady!” Liam announces as he walks across the room with a cup in each hand.
“It’s Ady.”
He holds out one of the cups. “You can’t turn down a drink when you’re in someone’s house. I’ve heard it’s bad manners.”
“Is that so?”
He smirks, and when I take the cup from his hand, I politely take a sip, and I’m surprised by the decent taste. “What is this?”
“Some stupid punch one of the brothers threw together. It tasted like juice, so I figured you’d like it.”
I give my approval when I raise the cup in the air and take another drink.
“Yeah!” he encourages before turning his attention to a group of guys sitting on the couch adjacent to Rhett and me.
“Who is that guy?” Rhett asks.
“I don’t know. I met him today during move-in.” I take another swallow of the punch. “So, I take it you’re going to be rushing?”
“My father was a Kappa Sig, so he’s pushing me to follow suit.”
He then asks about Micah and Trent and if they’re liking Miami. I tell him how they’re doing and continue to drink as we go back and forth. I don’t even know how much time has passed, but my cup is now empty, and I’ve started yawning.
With each yawn comes a small wave of lightheadedness as Rhett and I continue to chat. When I feel my eyes fading, he takes notice.
“Are you feeling okay?”
“I don’t think I drank enough water today or something.”
“Stay right here. I’ll go get you some.”
I lean back into the couch as a strange feeling begins to wash through me.
“You already drunk? Damn, you’re a lightweight,” Liam jokes when he shifts to face me.
I look across the room and see Rhett walking toward me, but he streams out of focus.
“Here you go.”
I take the bottle of water from his hand but have to exert extra effort to twist off the cap. Once open, I down a few big gulps.
“Better?”
I nod even though I don’t feel any different.
“I’m going to head out. You want to walk with me back to the dorms?”
“You’re leaving so soon?” Liam says. “What about your friend? Shouldn’t you wait on her?”
I look at Rhett and agree. “I should probably go find her.”
“You sure?”
“Yeah. I’ll finish this water and be fine.”
My vision begins to go spotty, and he says something else, but his voice muffles out and then he leaves.
My phone buzzes from my pocket, and I struggle
as I pull it out before opening up my texts.
Kason: Just wanted to tell you that I love you. I’m hitting the sack. Call if you need me.
Hyperfocusing on my fingers, I type my response.
Me: I love you, too.
“Boyfriend?”
Liam is looking over my shoulder, and I shove my phone back into my pocket. “Yeah.”
“Damn. Sucks for me,” he says. “Or maybe him. After all, he’s the one that isn’t here.”
“Does that stuff actually work on girls?” I joke, but my words feel too slow coming out.
“No,” he admits through a chuckle. “Never, which is probably why I’m still single.”
I lift the water bottle back to my lips, but my arm is too heavy and then the bottle slips through my fingers, spilling all over my lap.
“Damn.” Liam takes the bottle and sets it of the table in front of us, and everything continues to move in slow motion, fading in and out of clarity.
“I should probably get going,” I tell him as I push myself off the couch, but I stumble, and he quickly grabs on to my arm. The room spins around me, and when I fall back to the couch, I ask, “How much alcohol was in that drink?”
“Are you okay?”
His voice filters in from far away, but he’s right next to me behind waves of color and splotchy light.
“I feel dizzy.”
“Let’s try calling your friend so she can come and get you,” he says, and I nod even though I’m unable to fully attach to his words.
I close my eyes, but everything continues to spiral from behind my lids. Sounds mix and mingle, eventually drowning out into a hollowness. Movement comes, and when I open my eyes, I can’t focus in on anything. It’s all a fuzzy haze, blended into nothingness.
Pressure wraps around me and prevents me from falling, but the sensation only makes me foggier as my head hangs lifelessly. I try to move my feet beneath me, but either they weigh too much or my muscles are too weak—I can’t tell.
I blink, and I don’t know how long it takes me to open them again, but when I do, everything is quiet and I’m lying on my back, stuttering, “I n-need to call-I need-I—” Thoughts fail me, and I lose my words, eventually giving up when the dense fog turns black.
I stir and roll from my back to my stomach before blinking my eyes lazily as I begin to wake. When they finally open, it takes me a minute to realize that I’m not at home in my room. With another blink, I remember that I’m in my dorm room. Turning my head to the side, I don’t recognize anything around me.