There’s something to be said for anticipation.
Unable to stop myself, I slipped my hand beneath my panties, feeling sneaky. When was the last time I touched myself like this? It was sort of difficult, what with a roommate and all. So I took advantage of my opportunity and proceeded to bring myself to orgasm with my fingers, imagining they were Shep’s fingers instead. Then immediately fell asleep to dreams of Shep actually completing that kiss. His mouth soft and firm as it took command of mine…
“Wake up, slut bag,” Kelli insists, her voice shrill.
“Leave me alone,” I tell her, rolling over on my side so I’m facing the wall.
She doesn’t leave me alone. Instead, she plops her ass on my bed and shakes my shoulder again, her voice insistent. “Come on, J. Tell me what happened with Shep. Is his dick big? Oh wait, more important, does he know what he’s doing with that big dick? I’m surprised you’re back so soon. I figured you’d at least spend the entire night with him. I know I would’ve.”
Oh God, her rambling is going to drive me insane. I squeeze my eyes shut, my head throbbing already. I need water. Hydration. And fries. Fries sound good. Maybe I’m still drunk. “What time is it?” I keep my eyes tightly closed, anticipating Kelli’s reaction when I tell her nothing happened, not even a kiss.
She’s going to blow up. Worse, she’s probably not going to believe me. We are talking about Shepard Prescott, after all. King of the Hookup. I wonder if they have a crown for that title.
“Just after one. I made Dane bring me back. I have class in the morning.”
I roll over, cracking one eye open so I can look at her. “Like you care about your classes all of a sudden?”
Kelli shrugs and looks away. “I wasn’t feeling it. We haven’t been getting along lately.”
I sit up, yanking the sheet up over my chest. It’s cold in our room and my nipples are probably full on headlights right now. “Is everything okay?”
She waves a hand, dismissing my concern. “Don’t worry about it. Tell me about you. About Shep. And you. And his dick in your vagina.”
“Stop.” I shove at her shoulder but she hardly budges. Looks like she’s not going to budge on wanting the details either. “Fine,” I sigh. “Nothing happened.”
Her jaw drops open. “What?”
“I’m serious. Nothing happened. I got drunk on vodka and Red Bull and I almost did a line of coke but otherwise, nothing.”
“What the ever loving…are you fucking serious?” She leaps to her feet. “Where the hell were you when all this went down? Did he take you to a party?”
“No. He took me to dinner, then we had to go to his little underground casino because there was a problem. Some giant guy wouldn’t move from the blackjack table. So we drove over there and I was pissed. I didn’t want to go back to that place. That’s where it all happened, you know?” I twist the edge of the sheet in my hands, mulling over my rotten behavior. God, I’d been so cranky. I didn’t even want to go inside with him. I sat outside like a little kid pouting.
“I do know.” Kelli nods. “Then what happened?”
“Well, he was taking too long and I was waiting in the car. So I got out and met some girls hanging out on the porch. They were sweet. We started drinking, and then they got me drunk. When they offered up a line of coke, I was tempted to snort it.” More than tempted. I was giving about zero fucks at that moment until Shep yelling at us scared the crap out of me.
I’m really, really glad he yelled at us and stopped me from doing something I’d probably regret.
“But you didn’t.”
“No, I didn’t. Shep came out at that exact moment and stopped me.”
“Aw…” Kelli drawls but I shake my head, cutting her off.
“Then he dragged me out of there, practically pushed me into the car and drove me back to the dorms.” I flop back down on the bed, my head sinking into the too soft, extra cheap pillow. “That’s it.”
Kelli studies me, her gaze narrowed, her lips pursed. She looks full of disbelief. Not to mention disappointment. “That’s really all that happened?”
How can I tell her I threw myself at him and he rejected me? That he refused to kiss me? Talk about humiliation. “That’s it.”
“So he was a perfect gentleman.” The sarcasm is thick in her voice.
“Really. He was.” Sort of. I distinctly recall his hand landing on my ass when he escorted me to the front doors of my dorm hall. A discreet touch, nothing major and when I turned around to glare at him, he smiled, saying, Just making sure it’s real.
What did he mean by that? Like my fat ass is fake?
My phone buzzes at that precise moment, making my pillow vibrate and I pull the phone from beneath it, frowning when I see who’s texting me at one in the morning.
Shep.
Silently acknowledging the butterflies bouncing in my stomach, I read his text, ignoring Kelli’s repeated requests asking who is it.
Are you asleep?
“It’s Shep,” Kelli says. “I can tell by the way your cheeks are turning pink.”
“Shut up.” I catch my lower lip with my teeth, wondering what I should say. Telling myself I shouldn’t be happy that he’s texting me. It’s no big deal. He does this with lots of girls.
He so does not.
Not asleep. Roommate woke me up. Wanted to hear all the dirty details about tonight.
Did you tell her?
There’s nothing to tell.
“Now he’s texting you in the middle of the night. Booty call? Thanking you for an epic blow job? I think you’re holding out on me, J,” Kelli accuses.
“Nothing happened, swear to God,” I stress, anxiously awaiting Shep’s reply. I can see he’s typing. The little bubble is there on the screen, indicating he’s responding. What does he want? Thank God I wasn’t asleep or I might’ve missed this.
You could tell her that you jumped me.
I press my lips together, wanting to laugh or die of shame, I’m not sure which. Yes, I jumped him. And then he did absolutely nothing about it.
What happened next is too humiliating to admit.
No response. Glancing up from my phone, I see Kelli watching me.
“If he’s texting you in the middle of the night, it means he wants something to happen with you,” she states, like she knows all. But she so doesn’t. I’m probably not sophisticated enough for him. I don’t know any sexual tricks. I’m pretty basic. The missionary position is my standard sexual operating procedure and I’ve been on top not even a handful of times. One experience is especially vivid with Joel—the single time we tried it with me on top, his dick kept slipping out. Blow jobs…ugh. I don’t really want a dick in my mouth. And there’s that pesky orgasm issue I have.
God. Why would the campus sex god be interested in me?
“I think one night with me turned him off completely. He’s just being polite,” I say, sending a quick glance to my phone’s screen. No reply still.
Figures.
“Whatever.” Kelli rises from the edge of my mattress. “I’m going to bed.”
She moves about the room, changing out of her clothes and I roll back over on my side, my back to her, facing the wall, my phone still clutched in my hand like a stupid, ridiculous girl waiting for her dream man to text her back. My head is still fuzzy from alcohol and I really wish I had a bottle of water on my bedside table but I don’t.
I need to just go to sleep. Forget this night ever happened. Forget that moment with Shep when our faces were so close and he muttered fucking hell under his breath, like I was torturing him or something. I’m sure that was the farthest thing from the truth. I’m sure he was irritated he had to deal with such an inept little girl who threw herself at him and he wasn’t about to get involved in that sort of mess.
My phone vibrates in my hand, startling me so much I let out a muffled squeal. I check the screen and see it’s a text from Shep.
A long ass text. As in, that’s probably what took h
im so long to reply.
Giddy with excitement, I open my phone and read the text, my gaze skipping over the words, hurrying along to the end and I blink hard, resuming my attention to the first, heart stopping sentence so I can savor this moment, damn it.
I regret not kissing you. I should’ve. Having that sexy mouth of yours so close to mine, I should’ve gone for it. But I meant what I said. I don’t want you to forget everything when it does happen. Because it’s going to, that I can promise. All I can think about is your lips. You have the most amazing fucking lips I’ve ever seen. Has anyone ever told you that? Because if they haven’t, or worse, they haven’t noticed, they’re fucking idiots. I have fantasies about those lips. I’m having one right now. Fantasies and regret because holy shit, Jade, I really wish you were in my bed with me.
Oh. Wow. Is he sexting me? This feels like he’s sexting me. I should answer him with some witty, scorching hot reply, but what do I say?
I decide to go for it. Make it funny, not necessarily scorching hot because what if I screw that up? If I try for serious it’ll end up funny but the wrong kind of funny.
So are you saying my lips provide you plenty of masturbation material?
My finger hovers over the send button and I press it before I chicken out. He immediately responds.
Hell. Yes.
I don’t know whether I want to laugh or die a little inside. That I’m Shep’s beat off material is just so…weird.
And exciting. Definitely exciting.
Well our conversation just turned awkward. Good night. Sweet dreams. :)
I wait for his reply, my eyelids drooping, my entire body relaxing. My phone buzzes one last time in my hand and I check the message, smiling as I read it.
Sweet dreams sexy lips.
“So. The redhead.” Gabe studies me after shoveling a forkful of waffle into his mouth, chewing with narrowed eyes. “I thought you had no interest in her,” he says almost accusingly after he swallows.
I shrug, not willing to explain myself. I can’t explain myself. Worse, I don’t know what possessed me to send those texts to Jade last night, like some sort of lovesick boy waxing poetic over a girl’s lips. Granted, her mouth is what a man dreams of finding wrapped around his dick, not going to lie, but there’s more to it than that. More to her than that.
I just can’t put my finger on it.
“He likes the challenge,” Tristan says after taking a giant gulp of coffee. He’s already cleaned his plate and is probably itching to leave. We meet on occasion at this breakfast house not too far from campus, especially on Mondays when all three of us don’t have class until later in the morning or early afternoon.
Or not at all, like Gabe. That we were able to drag his lazy ass out of bed on a Monday morning says something about his need for a greasy breakfast.
“What do you mean?” I ask defensively, setting my fork down. The small restaurant is busy, the waitresses hustling to and fro, the booths filled with locals and the occasional group of college students like us. There’s a cluster of five girls sitting in the booth directly across from us, all of them making eyes in our direction.
We ignore them. They look young. I usually don’t like them young as I get older, but somehow Jade is an exception.
Breathing deep, I finish off my coffee, pissed at myself. I need to stop thinking about Jade all the fucking time. One night with her—I barely touched her and didn’t even kiss her—and I act like I’m completely sprung.
“She’s not interested in you. Or, she is, but only when she’s drunk,” Tristan explains, a giant smile on his face. The asshole. Should’ve never told them what happened last night between Jade and me. “And they’re all interested in you. Interested in us. You want the challenge. You want to prove to her that you can get her to fall under your spell just like the rest of them.”
I don’t say a word. Maybe he’s right? No female has ever challenged me before beyond my mother and my sisters and that just comes with the family territory.
“Valid point,” Gabe says, like we’re having some sort of scientific discussion in class. “When I saw them together a couple nights ago, she was putting out some pretty hateful vibes.”
“That’s because you interrupted us.” I almost had her that night at the party. Hell, I could’ve had her last night, but she was drunk. Behaving strangely. I meant every word I said to her. I didn’t want her to forget, or full of regret afterward. I wanted her into me. Into us.
“And so you pushed her off last night, why?” Tristan asks, turning to look at me. His gaze is razor sharp as he waits for my answer. “Because you were trying to be a gentleman or some such bullshit?”
I push my plate away, smiling up at the waitress when she stops by and pours me another cup of coffee before she darts off. “She was too drunk.”
Gabe snorts. “There is no such thing as a girl who is too drunk to fuck.”
“Are you even listening to yourself right now? You sound like a complete asshole.” He sounds like me approximately four days ago, before I met Jade.
Has it really only been four days? Unbelievable.
“And so do you,” Tristan quickly adds, jabbing a finger in my direction. “All panties look the same once they hit the floor, bro. Or when they get lost in a tangle of sheets in your bed. There is nothing special about this girl’s panties. Trust me. They’re all the same.”
“Damn, simmer down, T. Who burned you to make you so bitter?” Gabe asked, making me crack up.
Tristan shrugs then leans over and snatches a piece of toast off my plate, taking a bite. “My motto is to keep my heart out of it.”
“Right, making you a heartless bastard,” Gabe says with a slight sneer. “It’s all about fun while we’re in college. Nothing serious. If you’re upfront with a girl, they get it right away.”
“Oh yeah? And how’s Meadow?” I ask Gabe, making him frown in confusion.
“Who?”
“Meadow. The girl you were with Saturday night when you so rudely interrupted me and Jade,” I remind him. I knew he’d answer like that. They’re giving me a bunch of shit? Gabe is the epitome of the love ‘em and leave ‘em guy.
“Oh, yeah. Meadow.” Gabe smiles fondly. “She has a great rack. Decent kisser.”
“Right,” I say sarcastically. “Surprised you can remember. You didn’t even know who I was talking about until I reminded you.”
“Hey, at least I closed the deal with her, unlike you and your redheaded babe,” Gabe throws back at me accusingly. “I’m not here to find my future wife or anything like that. Real life’s barreling down on all of us and we’ll have to face it sooner or later. May as well enjoy our time here while we can, right?”
“I’m not looking for my future wife,” I say, ignoring the panic rising within me at the word wife. Fuck no, that is the last thing I want. Gabe is seriously reminding me of my mother right now. And that’s not a compliment. “I barely know this girl.”
“You’ve never, ever wanted to spend more than one night with a girl,” Tristan points out. “And you always close the deal, as Gabe so aptly described. You’re all about closing the deal. I’ve always admired your abilities in being able to close the deal with every single girl you encounter.”
“Maybe I’m not ready to close the deal with Jade yet,” I mumble, feeling under attack. What does it matter? Since when did these two care so much about my sex life?
“And there’s where it gets strange,” Tristan says, Gabe nodding enthusiastically in agreement. “One and done. Isn’t that something you’ve said countless times? Hasn’t that been your philosophy when it comes to girls?”
One and done. Yeah, it definitely was.
“Them’s the rules man,” Gabe says, his expression serious. “Three little words. One. And. Done.”
I throw my napkin across the table and it hits Gabe in the chest. “We don’t have rules or any of that bullshit. So fuck you both. I don’t want anything serious with Jade. Trust me. She’d probably wr
ench my balls off and hand them to me with a smile if I tried to make a move on her.”
Lies. I’m lying through my teeth. After the way she acted last night, the things we said to each other, I don’t think she’d mind me making a move on her. I should text her. Find out what she’s doing today. See if we can get together soon, maybe tonight…
“You’re thinking about her right now,” Gabe says, pointing at me. “You want her. Holy hell, I think you actually like her.”
I slide out of the booth as they laugh at me, sending them both a dirty look. Reaching for my wallet, I peel out a ten and throw it on the table, then shove my wallet back in my jeans. “Have a nice day, pussies.”
Their laughter follows me out of the restaurant but I don’t look back, though I’m tempted to give them the finger and tell them to fuck off only because they’re getting too close to the truth.
I like this girl. I was thinking about her. I want to see her again. I don’t care if I’m breaking the so called rules or whatever. I don’t want anything serious.
I’m thinking spending time with Jade beyond the one and done variety could be worth it.
Pausing at the streetlight, I wait for it to turn green so I can cross and get to my car. I pull my phone out and send her a quick text, shoving my phone back in my front pocket and not waiting for her to reply. She could be in class or still asleep. It could be hours until she responds. She might play hard to get. Worse, she might hate me. I never know with Jade. She keeps me on my toes.
I think that might be my favorite thing about her. Oh, that and her fucking incredible mouth.
My phone dings and I check it, surprised and pleased to see her answer.
Tonight? Are you serious?
Shaking my head, I answer.
Yeah. Are you busy?
I have class.
The light changes and I start crossing, typing as I do, earning a few dirty looks for my effort.
What time are you out?
Ten.
I wonder if she’s lying to me. Maybe she doesn’t want to see me.
I can pick you up after.
Really?
Yeah.
She makes me wait and in turn, makes me sweat. Just a little bit. Not much. And it pisses me off. Girls don’t make me sweat. Nothing makes me sweat beyond my old man.